fifty-two

Since his mother ran away from home, his father drowned his sorrows every day with drunkenness, and when he was unhappy, he beat him as a child. Zhu Youshen has always been obsessed with this. Later, my father drank the internal organs because he drank too much low-quality wine, because he already had yellow bile disease. When Zhu Yushen saw that his father often vomited red, he gradually forgave him. The house where the father and son lived was also filthy and messy. After the family was taken care of by the aunts, they could barely support themselves.

When Zhu Yushen was more than ten years old, his aunt's father-in-law passed away. Because he was an old man in his seventies, Bai Xi had to do a big deal, so my aunt took Zhu Yushen over and prepared to let him improve his food. After Zhu Yushen arrived at her house, because there were many people and miscellaneous things, his aunt put him in the kitchen where a few little women helped cook, and went to take care of himself.

In the kitchen there was my cousin's aunt and two neighbor aunts. They were peeling the skin of the water chestnuts with knives and preparing them for the evening feast. After a while, the cousin brought into the kitchen one or two children, the sons of the two women, both of whom were about the same age. When my cousin saw the shaved camelina, he grabbed it, and the other two children also went up to catch it. A plate of freshly shaved camelinates, and they caught only a few left. The three children ran out while eating.

Zhu Yushen was already hungry, and when he saw this, he timidly reached out to grab it. Unexpectedly, his cousin's aunt slapped his little hand and knocked off the camellia. And shouted: "You are not allowed to take it, you only deserve to eat the skin of the camelina." The neighbor woman smiled evilly and grabbed a handful of camelina skins at the right time, stuffed them into Zhu Yushen's hand, and said, "This is better than camelina." Although Zhu Yushen is young, he can still tell which one is delicious. But he had no choice but to eat the skin of the camelina.

At this time, my aunt happened to deliver food into the kitchen. After seeing this scene, she grabbed a handful of shaved camelina from another plate of shaved camellia on the big table and put it into Zhu Yushen's pocket, and said, "If you don't eat it, you have to eat the skin, are you stupid?" ”

The woman glared at her aunt unhappily. When my aunt left, I asked Zhu Yushen to stay in the kitchen for a while. At this time, the neighbor's child came in again, and he handed Zhu Yushen a plastic gun and asked Zhu Yushen to have a shootout with him. So the two of them ran around in and out of the kitchen and played.

The two women glanced at Zhu Yushen, who was playing energetically, and one said, "This child doesn't know the height of the sky, and he is as crazy as everyone else!" Another chimed in: "What will he do in the future, he will definitely not be able to marry a wife when he grows up." After saying that, the two of them smiled contentedly, and relieved the resentment of the aunt when she took the camellia just now. These words stung the young Zhu Yushen, and he dropped the plastic gun and walked out of the kitchen.

The unfortunate childhood has tormented Zhu Yushen into a big ghost. He felt that it was his duty to study hard, otherwise it would get worse and worse. In the lower grades of primary school, he excelled; In the senior year, he had an absolute advantage, almost full marks in the number of words, and greatly widened the distance from the second place. Especially in the graduating class, Zhu Yushen, who was promoted to class president, was like no one in his studies. The teacher took his results to the entire Sun Village Town to compete, and he often won the competition.

At this time, my father would occasionally be happy because of his good grades. But the neighbors and the people of the village did not approve of this, saying, "Just because you did well in elementary school doesn't mean you did well in middle school." Besides, good grades are useful. Which one should not spend money to find a relationship when taking the school entrance examination or looking for a job? If our children are not playful, they will not be worse than him......"

Words like these are like a scoop of cold water poured on their father and son. Once, Zhu Yushen got into trouble with a respected old man in his village over the release of water from the rice field. The old man's field was upstream, and he intercepted the water released by Zhu Yushen from the reservoir. Zhu Yushen proposed that the two of them divide the water in half, but the old man said arrogantly: "Your field is so small, and the remaining water on this road will fill your field." You don't understand this, you read to the bookcase? How can you be so stupid! Zhu Yushen was stunned by his scolding, and let him intercept the water domineeringly.

When Zhu Yushen came to the town to go to middle school, he took vegetables to steam in the school cafeteria at noon. Because I had to walk six or seven miles of ridges in the morning and evening, and I had to do farm work when I got home, it was very difficult.

One day after lunch at noon, Zhu Yushen and a few classmates went to the town to buy homework books and refills. When they walked to the door of the post office and saw someone selling persimmons, their classmates ran over to buy persimmons. Zhu Yushen stood in the distance and did not move, because he had no extra money in his pocket except for the money to buy stationery.

The pink dress worn by the woman selling persimmons, Zhu Yushen felt very familiar. When the classmates tilted to the side, Zhu Yushen saw clearly, it was his mother who had been absent for many years. When she ran away from home, she wore this dress. In a few years, she has hardly changed. Zhu Yushen knew that her later home was in Zhang Village, not far from the town, and because of its proximity, she might often come to the market. At this time, she kept her head down and was busy with business.

After the classmates bought persimmons, they didn't pay attention to Zhu Yushen, so they scattered in a hurry and left towards the stationery store. Zhu Yushen stood in place, staring at his mother. There were two boxes of persimmons in front of her, red ones. When the buyers are idle after leaving, she puts the persimmons that the customers have picked up one by one. Suddenly, she raised her head and saw Zhu Yushen, and the eyes of the two looked at each other for a while. She thoughtfully picked up four persimmons in both hands and prepared to step forward.

At this moment, a broken tricycle loaded with bricks drove in front of her, blocking her way directly to this side. A fierce man got out of the car and asked her how much she was selling. As he spoke, the man pinched a persimmon, took a few quick bites, threw the rest of the food on the ground with a bang, and said, "Go back and cook, Lao Tzu is hungry, and he will go home to eat after this trip." ”

Zhu Yu thought deeply, this should be the man behind his mother. Then the tricycle drove over. Zhu Yushen saw his mother put the persimmon in her hand back into the frame, picked up the flat pole, pulled up the rope on the frame, and prepared to leave. Seeing this scene, he felt very uncomfortable. He strode to the stationery store. After walking for a while, he looked back. He saw his mother put down her burden and froze there.

That night, after Zhu Yushen went home, he didn't wash up after dinner, so he lay down on the bed with his clothes. He didn't tell his father about meeting his mother in town. But the scene of the mother and son meeting at noon made his heart unable to calm down for a long time.

He remembered that since his mother left, he had lived with his father's anger and scolding. Whenever he saw other children of the same age hiding in their mother's arms, his heart swelled with infinite longing. After my mother ran away from home, my two aunts often came to their house. Come and help wash the quilts, clean the house, etc. Especially the eldest aunt, who came very diligently. And under her persuasion, her disheartened father dispelled the idea of giving Zhu Yushen away.

But once, Zhu Yushen played in the water with his cousin and made his clothes damp. After returning home, my aunt scolded Zhu Yushen first. Then he was given a small set of clothes and told him to change himself. But he took his cousin into his arms, and while helping him change his clothes, he kept screaming at his heart and baby.

Zhu Yushen felt sour at that time. He thought that his aunt was not his mother after all, she was just his cousin's mother. Since then, he has not liked to go to his aunt's house very much.

When his father went out to work, he was afraid that he would run away, so he locked him in the yard. He sat quietly on a stone bench reading and writing alone. Occasionally looking up, I looked at the crooked persimmon tree above my head, and looked at the swallows playing freely. Mother swallows are by their side to take care of them. The cool air of the stone bench rushed to his heart, and he felt that the vast universe was as cold as iron. So when he grew up, he basically didn't know what "warmth" was.

As a young child, he often wondered: where was his mother? So he asked his aunt about his mother. At this time, the little aunt, who was still a big girl, was silent; The eldest aunt said, "Don't ask, your mother is a ruthless woman." A few years ago, she didn't want your father and son, so you should treat her as dead! Such an answer made Zhu Yushen very dissatisfied.

Once, when he dared to ask his father about his mother's condition, he looked at him with bloodshot eyes, and then slammed the cup against the door. There was a "snap" sound, which frightened Zhu Yushen for a long time. From then on, he didn't dare or wanted to inquire about his mother anymore.

But since he met his mother in the town, instinct drove him to run to the town as soon as he had lunch, regardless of whether he had anything to do or not. He didn't know if it was his mother who attracted him. My mother still came to sell persimmons almost every day. Zhu Yushen walked behind a light box every time to peek at his mother's every move, but his mother couldn't see him.

He thought that if the man hadn't been killed halfway last time, his mother would have brought persimmons to him to eat, and then recognized him. But just because of the man's appearance, his mother gave up the courage to come forward and give him persimmons or call him. He was so disappointed that he chose to leave.

For so many years, his aunt and other relatives had spoken a room full of bad things about his mother in his ears. He didn't believe it all. Whenever he was wronged, he thought that other children could hide in their mother's arms and cry, but he couldn't. He was thinking: why did his mother leave, why did she leave him? Doesn't she miss her son at all? So he naturally had some resentment towards his mother in his heart. He decided that if he saw his mother one day, he would never take the initiative to call her.

These days, when Zhu Yushen saw his mother selling persimmons, he tried to accompany the smiling face and patiently let the buyers choose. When the people were gone, she sat there and stared blankly at the pedestrians in the street. Zhu Yushen felt that not only his appearance, hairstyle, but also his expression, his mother and his stupid cousin were very similar. Peeping behind the light box, he gradually developed a crush on his mother. Maybe there is really a so-called mother-son connection, until the afternoon class, he always has the image of his mother in his mind.

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