Self-ordering

There is a little granddaughter next door, who is just three years old this year, and her grandmother and her grandmother came to visit my house at noon this day. She combed her pigtails, high and upward, and jumped into the courtyard, followed by a small flower dog. Seeing that she looked innocent and cute, I wanted to tease her, so I beckoned her to me: "Little cutie, come to the second master."

The sister-in-law who came with her patted her shoulder, flicked her pigtail with her hand, and asked her, "Does the dog have a tail?" Afraid that she wouldn't be able to answer, I quickly pointed my finger at the tail of the little flower dog beside her.

The cutie understood what I meant, and replied in a thick nasal voice, "There is a tail." ”

I continued to induce: "Does the cat have a tail?" ”

"There is a tail". The grandmother next to her saw that she was a little slow to answer, and hurriedly tilted her head to save the scene.

"Very good". I praised this cute little baby, and then said, "Let's talk faster, okay?" ”

She nodded in agreement.

"Does a dog have a tail"?

"Yes".

"Does a cat have a tail"?

"Yes".

"Let's hurry up, does the dog have a tail"?

"Yes".

"Does a cat have a tail"?

"Yes".

"Does your grandma have a tail"?

"Yes". The little granddaughter was caught off guard and called me to take the ditch. As soon as she spoke, I smiled at her. She didn't know what to do for a while, and I laughed smugly at her stunned and helpless expression.

Her grandmother hurriedly bent down to give her instructions: "Your second master is playing with you." Grandma is a human, not an animal, and does not have a tail. She turned around and asked her little granddaughter to look behind her: "You see that she doesn't have a long tail." ”

Although the little baby is small, I can't say that sentence is wrong, but she looked at my smug expression, she also knew that it must not be a good thing, a few seconds later, she suddenly pointed at the tip of my nose with a sharp second thumb, and the thin voice of childlike elegance was sent out: "You villain" After speaking, she ran behind her grandmother, looked at me secretly, no matter how I coaxed her, she didn't come back to me.

yes, "I'm badass". Childlike words. I went from an ignorant teenager to eight out of fifty in the blink of an eye. The world is like a cloud of smoke, fluttering away, and now, my hair has all grayed, and my legs can no longer support the weight of my body, first on crutches, then in a wheelchair, and then the bad luck of being paralyzed in bed, smashing my spirit, and then having no intention of being angry, let alone the power to jump high. The candle of life will soon run out, hurry up and write, those good and bad things in the past, if you don't do it, maybe you really have to regret it for a lifetime, time really waits for no one.

Chapter 1: A huge heart

Sixty miles west from the ancient city of Qi, there is a village surrounded by mountains ---- Kidnapping Village. Zhuang is not big, there are 2,000 people, and most of them are Han. Three brigades, combined into one natural village. They are called East Crutches, West Crutches and South Crutches. To the south of the village is Sibao Mountain on the edge of the Jiaoji Railway. Some people say that this mountain was called Sijiao Mountain in ancient times because it was the confluence of four counties. Zichuan County in the south, Qingzhou County in the east, Sun Erniang opened a shop to sell human meat steamed buns on the cross slope, not far here, last year I hit this, and specially went to the cross slope restaurant to eat, but the food is not human meat steamed buns but mutton shabu. To the north of the village is Qihuan Prefecture, and to the west is Zouping Prefecture. In the past, I used to hear people say that when someone committed an accident, he ran to Sibao Mountain to hide. The county government detained people, and he ran to the boundary of another county, and the messenger stared at him when he saw him sitting there, and he couldn't take him, and justice was out of bounds. The northern neighbor of Kiezizhuang is a rare surname and mountain name, called Junjiashan. At the foot of the mountain live many families with the surname Jun. The author has also been to many places and has never met a person with this surname. Do you think it's weird? The east side of the kidnapping village is called Jiuding Mountain, the mountain is not high, and there are nine peaks in a row. A few years ago, I built a cement factory, opened a mountain and blew up stones, and opened a nine-top mountain without a top, just like a sweet potato called a sheep to gnaw the upper half, ugly and pitiful. After the cement factories were moved away, the mountains were desolate. The wind blows the barren grass and rattles, and it is miserable. However, in recent years, it has changed a lot, the government has paid for planting grass and trees, building a small scenic reservoir in the middle of the mountain, and also building a few winding roads around the mountain, followed by a lot of wild pheasants and other living creatures, now it is a rabbit running and birds chirping, the scene is pleasing to the eye, and there are more people playing in the green of the mountain, and it has become the lungs of Zizhou City. With the transformation of the old village, the adobe houses of the common people in the past have been replaced by buildings. Ordinary people basically don't have to pay money, and the old house is one square meter for the new house. Shotguns for guns. Many white-bearded old people said that they never dreamed that they would be able to live in such a good building in this life, you know, in the hearts of the old peasants, the building is the patent of the people in the city, and there are some rich people living in it. Our people are the grass of Sibao Mountain, no one cares about it, and no one is rare. Today, this barren grass has also become a treasure, my mother, alas, this is all a blessing given by **, if it is not for the development, the dream of living in the building, and the people who abduct the east, I don't know which generation to do.

Rewind to one morning more than 50 years ago, when the sun had just emerged from the Jiuding Mountain in the east, and he came to Dongjiaozi Primary School early to open the door of the classroom. Because his home and school are diagonally opposite. On the east side of the main street is a school that has been converted into a school. To the west of the street is the sprawling home. At that time, there were only about 800 people in the east. It is divided into eight production teams, and the fifth production team is the largest, which is the middle of the village--- waist. At that time, the school did not have a resident teacher, let alone supporting facilities. On the north side is the main hall of the family, which is relatively high, with five blue stone steps, and is the classroom of the first grade. The East House is a low room, which is a second-grade classroom, and the West House is the shortest, with only two cabins, which is the teacher's office. There are four teachers working in it. The female teacher who taught us in the first grade was the first desk on the east wall when she entered the door. Because at that time, Li Er was the group leader, and he collected the homework for the teacher and put it on the desk after class, and then sent the homework approved by the teacher to every student before class the next day. Sometimes it's when everyone's workbook is put on each student's desk before class.

Dafang opened the door of the first-grade classroom, and his good friend Li Er, who was at the same table ----, followed him, and the second entered the classroom. His silly brother Pang Er and his sister Xiao Taohong also followed into the classroom. That Pang Er was born stupid, when he saw the homework book on the desk, he reached out and tore it, his sister Xiao Taohong was ordered by her mother to take care of her second brother, and when she saw this, she quickly reached out to grab it, that Pang Er was stupid, not stupid, seeing that he was going to tear someone's homework book in two, Li Er was anxious: "Bit"! Xiao Taohong opened her mouth and grabbed Pang Er's fingers, but Pang Er couldn't hurt it, let go, and Xiao Taohong hurriedly handed the book back to Li Er. Li Er leveled it and put it back in its place. Pang Er didn't break up yet, and reached out to take the notebook on the second table. Huge hurriedly grabbed a pestle, raised it above his head, and was about to smash it at Pang Er, who saw this and screamed, jumped down the bluestone steps of the classroom, and ran back to his home.

The first grade occupies the middle three rooms of the family, and the east side is a makeshift toilet. After the first class, Dada and Li Er went to the toilet to pee together. Huge just wanted to pee, Li Er had a whim, he said huge: "Don't look at your fat Huhu is stronger than me, but the urine is not necessarily high, let's compare, whoever pees high urine is far, it is a good man, do you dare to compare with Lao Tzu?" ”

This huge is also a little more thing, you can't eat well, and it's far away from urine higher than any door. This Li Er has a yellow face and a thin waist, and he looks like a sick man who can't eat enough. Huge self-reliance, five short figures, energetic. The game begins: the first item, see who pees farther. Li Er urinated first, went out more than a meter, and then rushed forward without the strength to fall to the ground; The huge is also more than a meter away, more than one pinch less than Li Er (one prick: trying to stretch the thumb and index finger, the distance in the middle), and won the name of defeat. That Li Er won the first place, naturally beaming proudly, his head shook like a rattle, and there were words in his mouth: "It's huge, if it doesn't work, it can't be done, you can't pretend." "It's almost a little bit, of course the huge doesn't admit defeat, but there is no urine in the stomach, and then the comparison can't be compared. The two made an appointment, and after the first class in the afternoon, they were higher than urine, and they had to compete for the first place.

In the afternoon of the same day, just after the first class, Li Er and Dang came to the small toilet impatiently, of course Li Er still took the lead, the goal was to see who could pee over the small wall. Li Er's results were about the same as those of the first meridian. A slight improvement, still a little more than a bunch away from the wall. When the students saw the two of them competing, they all came over to watch. Some people consciously formed a cheerleading squad and indulged in shouting: "Huge come on, huge come on!" "The cheer is noisy and lively. Some people laughed, some people laughed and scolded, huge since I was a child, I haven't received so much encouragement and support, I don't know where the strength came from, I jumped on a stone trough by the wall to feed the cow, I was lame, my face was red and my neck was thick, let go of it, no, it was a pee. With a "whoosh", a long stream of urine, like an arrow from a string, flew straight over the wall, and the urine reached the other side of the wall. The classmates cheered, and Da Da was about to give a victory speech, when he suddenly heard the female teacher on the other side of the wall scolding: "Wang Ba fuck, pee on my face." The students were suddenly shocked, they didn't care about the huge amount, they ran out of the toilet with a "coax", and ran to the classroom, sitting on their seats, pretending to read books, pretending to do homework, all like no one, waiting for the female teacher to enter the classroom, and passively waiting for the teacher's punishment one by one.

The female teacher who teaches one year old is not very old, only fifteen or sixteen years old. At that time, she was next door to a small solution, heard this side shouting loudly cheering huge cheers, she didn't know what was going on here, so she wanted to probe this side to see what was going on, after all, she was a one-year-old class teacher, she was responsible for something, just when she poked her head over, she was hit by a huge urine arrow, and a smell of shame came to her face, choking her and shedding two tears. When she figured out what was going on, she was furious, rushed straight into the classroom from the women's toilet, grabbed the huge collar, dragged him directly from the classroom to the bottom of the window outside the door, knocked him to the ground, punched and kicked, and beat him fatly. ”

"Wow". The female teacher scolded angrily, and rushed into the classroom, grabbed Li Er and pulled him outside, this time it was not a punch or kick, but a pick of Li Er's hair, pulling forward, sending back, tossing back and forth. After a few back and forth, Li Er was dizzy and couldn't find the east, west, north and south. just passively supported his body, trying not to be fallen, and then he collided with the female teacher and fell into her not too mature arms.

The female teacher pushed Li Er away and scolded: "You are the biggest scourge of our eastern abductors." She ordered the two of them to stand up, bow their heads and stand up, and didn't say how many classes they would be punished, and then they entered the office angrily, lying on the table and crying, and the other teachers came to ask, he couldn't get his teeth up, just silently shed tears.

At the end of school in the afternoon, the female teacher walked alone in front of the students, and no longer looked at the two of them. By the time it got dark, the school was empty. The door of the classroom is still open, the key is in the huge hand, he silently locked the classroom, pulled Li Er out of the school, the street was quiet, many families had already lit kerosene lamps, the two stood on the street for a while, and made an appointment to apologize to the female teacher tomorrow.

Before class the next day, Li Erhuge and the two of them dressed neatly, put on red scarves, took the initiative to stand in front of the female teacher in the office, raised their hands to salute the Young Pioneers, and then bowed their heads to admit their mistakes: "Teacher, we are wrong, please punish you, don't cry anymore." ”

The female teacher touched the huge round head, and pulled the corner of Li Er's crumpled gown, and smiled bitterly: "It's not all your fault, the teacher is also responsible, and you shouldn't beat the students, you two are the backbone of our class: one is the homework team leader, and the other is the duty team leader; Okay, Li Er went to send his homework and wiped the blackboard on a huge scale. ”

At this point, the turmoil has subsided. After that, the huge pee is always careful and careful, for fear of getting into trouble. It's all the bane planted this time, more than ten years later, Li Er caused a bigger disaster because of peeing, first he was almost killed, and then the ghost sent God, and he was actually blessed by misfortune, handed over the peach blossom luck, picked up a capable daughter-in-law, and escaped the bad luck of the bachelor, what is going on, let's talk about it slowly later.

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