(1st Update~)

"Doesn't look like my style?"

It's like saying that again, as if I understand my style very well.

"So, Mr. Hiratsuka, what kind of style do you think I have? I think that's my style. ”

Will my style change in any way? I haven't changed all along. Stable, absolute, realistic. It doesn't matter if it's right or not, but I'm not going to fail. Because my ideas are always realistic.

Realistic people will never fail, this is the truth of this world. Those romantic stories are just things to fool children, and I realized this even more clearly after the events of the timber seat. So if I was a bit out of place in terms of behavior, I didn't have anything to blame at the root.

"Teacher, you are a national language teacher, if you are a national language teacher, you know everyone's national language level compared to you. Do you think Yoshiki Kikiza could become a fiction writer at his current level? It's completely impossible, not even the slightest chance. Even if someone is found to publish it, the sales volume will make the publisher want to kill the level of that editor. Aren't you more aware of this kind of reality than anyone else? So, in that case, do you still want to support the timber to continue his creation? ”

“…… Call. ”

There was silence on the other side of the phone, followed by a breathing sound.

It should be the habit inherent in Shizuna-chan Hiratsuka when he encounters a difficult problem. She used to light a cigarette to ease her emotions when she was facing something or missing something. The situation is also tricky for her now.

"Biqigu, do you know that you are in a very dangerous state right now?"

After a moment of silence, a somewhat tired voice came out of the speaker.

"Although people say that they can't see their own limits, the support of dreams can always make people burst out of things that exceed their own limits. No matter what kind of dream should be supported and encouraged, even if it seems impossible to achieve, it should not be terminated by such brutal means. You don't get anything but resentment, you know that very well. ”

As if he was sorting out his thoughts, Hiratsuka-sensei's voice paused slightly. As if thinking about smoke, the sound of breathing came from the speaker, and after about ten seconds, the teacher's somewhat dry voice came again.

"It's true that he doesn't have the potential to become a writer, but I believe that enthusiasm is not fake. If you have passion, then anything will be possible. Timber is not the kind of guy who is completely hopeless, but he has not used his talents in the right direction. With a little guidance, you'll get more abilities. Even if you become a serious fiction writer, I don't think it's impossible. You're going a little too far to say that today. ”

"Really? But I think my opinion is the opposite of yours, Teacher. Timakiza just thought it was funny to write a novel, didn't he? It's just that I'm sick as a writer, and I think writing is a very interesting thing, so I do it. I didn't expect anything to come, and I didn't have any awareness of my relationship. ”

"The vast majority of success in this world is interesting at the beginning. Pure reality has no value, it is nothing more than pure logic. But this world is driven by emotions, and your thoughts are already in trouble. ”

"I didn't feel like there was anything wrong with me, and I didn't even feel better than I was now."

"Biqi Valley ......"

Of course, I can hear Ms. Hiratsuka's dry voice.

In fact, I'm well aware of how unnatural my thoughts are right now.

No one knows better than me how abnormal and unrealistic Hachiman is this person.

Who would believe that they would have become what they are today simply by virtue of this dream-like thing? If it is only said that you believe in your past life, then this act itself is a denial of the existence of the self.

There has always been only one reason for the loneliness and indifference of Hachiman Hikiya Hachiman. That's the sense of unreality that permeates from within. I have a sense of rejection and unreality towards everything around me. Even if you want to get in touch, inexplicable bad comments will come out from others. Even if it is full of hope, it will be refuted mercilessly.

Then it's better to die in the first place.

It's not that I haven't thought about it that way.

But ironically, it is precisely because of unrealistic memories that I have survived to this situation. I don't care if it's being ostracized, even if it's being scolded, even if it's being insulted.

Because I'm different.

Only I was completely different from them.

This is not a secondary two disease that extends from junior high school, but a realistic and completely appropriate emotion.

Others have always had friends and friends since they were young, but I never did. Others will get some attention and form their own small circles, but I don't. Even if there are always a few unpopular people in a class, the least popular is definitely me. No matter how many classes you change, it's the same everywhere.

Hopes and dreams have long since been wiped out. As long as it is something that can make money, everything will be done, as long as it does not touch the law, there is no problem, and it does not matter if it violates morality. I had such an awareness, but I was angry.

The most troublesome thing is that this anger was captured by Shizuna-sensei Hiratsuka. This kind of development is not good, it is really not good.

"Teacher, for you, people support each other, right?"

"Of course, isn't this society just a big machine? You came up with this theory yourself. If it weren't for mutual support, no one would stick to it all the time. If you have a dream, it will be possible. It's okay to ask if you don't understand something, so even if you're a person like Kizuza, if you work hard, you'll succeed, right? ”

“…… Really? ”

I chuckled softly.

"I know it, and I'll do my best to make it up when the time comes. A working writer is better than a newcomer, and I'll give you some pointers. If he is willing, I believe he will definitely improve under my guidance. At least stronger than it is now. ”

I casually made a promise and turned off my phone to look at the brightly lit ceiling.

No, teacher. You still don't know what to do. In this world, there will always be inexplicable malice against a person.

If you want to ask something, you can only get curses, and if you want to find friends, you will get ridicule. Even if you ask why, it can only attract a burst of laughter and scolding. This vicious nature continues to spread, and the cycle has been repeating itself from kindergarten to elementary school to junior high school and now high school.

Shizuna-sensei Hiratsuka is indeed a good teacher who is rare to see. But it's a pity that as his student, Hikiya Hachiman is not a good student. Rather, an out-and-out outlier. It's true that people are supporting each other's lives, but sometimes communication is not so necessary. There are always some people who will definitely be hurt in communication, that kind of swearing and incomprehension, the pain of being alone, as long as one person is enough.

One lonely person is enough.