Lei Zhiyuan, a contemporary Chinese college student, lay in bed for another day, thinking about asking his roommate to help him call in the afternoon class, but was told that the unlucky teacher was going to raise his hand.

If you are absent from school three times in a semester, the subject will be disqualified from the final exam, and Lei Zhiyuan is enough to count this time.

"It's a little uncomfortable," he thought to himself, "let's cover the water and cover it when the soldiers come." Then he rolled over and squinted for a moment.

Since going to college, Lei Zhiyuan has been in a hotbed of degeneration. As a sophomore this year, he recalled that he was studying cake three in Yuzhou two years ago, and he was so unbearable.

Yuzhou cake test, known as "thousands of troops crossing the single-plank bridge", he thought that since it was so difficult, he simply didn't learn it.

Because of the childish intrigue between classmates and the extreme disgust of the cake examination system, Lei Zhiyuan fought with students, teachers, and schools, and he had endless fun.

The teacher pointed to his nose and said to him, if there is one person in our class who can't be admitted to college, it is you Lei Zhiyuan!

In the end, Lei Zhiyuan actually performed exceptionally in the cake examination room, and his score was 60 points higher than the estimated score.

Lei Zhiyuan stood out from the one million people who took the cake exam that year, which was an incomparably large number for him, and was admitted to an ordinary university in Liaozhou to continue his waste life.

Lying in bed for two years, living on takeout every day. Nothing has progressed except that the hair is getting longer and longer without cutting.

Occasionally, if I want to be active, I carry a guitar and pull a speaker and go out to sing. There are no bright spots in life.

After nine o'clock in the evening, Lei Zhiyuan, who had reversed day and night, felt that it was time to get up, ordered a take-out rice noodle to fill his stomach, and began to chase a novel he had read recently.

The novel is about the protagonist who travels through a different world, lives by pretending to be a pig, pretends to be a pig and eats a tiger, hugs a beauty, does not have to struggle and relies on adventures, and finally practices a personal life that is as lonely as a big avalanche, smiling proudly.

Such an unnutritious article, Lei Zhiyuan watched it with relish and enjoyed it.

"When is the time for me to cross over, this university is really boring. Lei Zhiyuan finished eating the rice noodles and thought while reading the novel.

It's just a casual thought, Lei Zhiyuan is also an educated college student, although he is a waste, but he is not stupid, people who have a little IQ through this thing understand that they are fooling children.

"But I still want to wear it," he thought regretfully.

At two o'clock in the morning, the other roommates were asleep, and Lei Zhiyuan was still reading a novel.

A burst of urine came to him, and Lei Zhiyuan thought about holding it for a while and getting out of bed after reading this chapter.

With such thoughts, he read eight or nine chapters in a row, and he was already so suffocated that he was about to wet the bed, so he trembled and held on to the bed, and rushed into the toilet in small steps.

After a bustle, he shuddered.

"I love the toilet so much, is there anything happier in the world than going to the toilet? Some people don't go to the toilet after class, and they say they like it, is this really like? This is a fart liking. ”

His mind was jumbled, and a lewd smile appeared on his face.

Walking to the door of the toilet, he slipped and fell because he was too relaxed. The moment he fell to the ground, he thought back desperately in his mind, and was very sure that there was no such puddle of water at the door when he came.

"Nest! evil!", Lei Zhiyuan fell at the door of the toilet, feeling his consciousness getting more and more dim.

"This can't be the feeling of sudden death, my nest! Who will save me! I won't stay up all night again!" Gradually, he lost consciousness and his consciousness was in chaos.

I don't know how long it took, Lei Zhiyuan regained consciousness, and in a trance he felt that he had just passed through a long passage, in which there were SpongeBob SquarePants and Squidward, Patrick and many other seafood circling around him. He's a little confused right now.

"Who am I? Hey, my name is Lei Zhiyuan, and I'm a student. ”

"I lost it, I thought it was suddenly dead, nest, it's good that it's not dead. I just went to the toilet and fell, yes, I fell," Lei Zhiyuan sorted out his thoughts, "I understand the reason, but where did the puddle of water come from?"

Before he had time to think about it, Lei Zhiyuan already felt that something was wrong with his current state.

His limbs were weak, his mind was dizzy, and he didn't seem to be lying on the ground, but was being carried by a big hand, and there were a lot of people around him shouting, wooing, and he couldn't understand a word.

Then there was a burst of heat in his butt, which made him cry out with an uncontrollable "wow".

Lei Zhiyuan opened his eyes and saw a group of happy people surrounding a woman lying on the bed, but he was a baby, being carried by one hand and hanging upside down in the air.

"My nest, Lao Tzu is really wearing a horse!"

In the eyes of outsiders, Lei Zhiyuan has been talented since he was a child, oh no, now he has a single surname Lei, and the children of ordinary people cannot have a name, but they can use numbers to distinguish the ranking of the family. So he's now called Lei Er.

Many years later, there is still such a saying on the Bloody Continent - the King of Waiting, the Jade Emperor and the Emperor, will not be as good as Lei Erlang.

Lei Er learns everything quickly, and he doesn't look bad.

Before the other children could speak, his parents found out that Lei Er was secretly reading a book—a forbidden reading that his father had stolen. In fact, Lei Er really didn't have that kind of idea, he just wanted to learn the words of this world.

During that time, Lei Er really wanted to go crazy, crossing into a place where birds don't poop and chickens don't lay eggs, there are no mobile phones and computers, technology is extremely backward, and the people around him can't understand what they say, but they can see that they are very ignorant.

Lei Er is desperate to change the status quo, at least he can understand what others are saying. So when his five-year-old eldest brother was playing with mud, he was watching Xiao Huangwen study hard.

Learn to learn that he wants to cry without tears, others are all cultivators, and the most unfortunate is also a secular emperor, only to give him such a broken place; in his previous life, he didn't learn at all before the cake exam, who knew that he couldn't walk after crossing the horse and learned "English", when did Lei Zhiyuan suffer such grievances? !

Maybe that's retribution.

After being discovered by his parents, Lei Er began to read and write openly, and asked his parents to ask for books.

How could the common people have a few books in their homes? Fortunately, Lei Ercai's reputation became more and more popular, attracting old gentlemen who taught to the children of the aristocracy.

Mr. Qizhi, donate books, solve emergencies. also said that Lei Er will definitely become a great Confucian in the future.

Lei's second father and mother are grateful, it is extremely difficult for ordinary people to get ahead in the hot-blooded continent, and they can't afford to hire a gentleman, most of them are illiterate people who have been farming and doing business all their lives, and they are not as good as slaves of aristocratic families. Not to mention those immortals who flew around, they didn't bother to meddle in the world at all, but the dynasty still worshiped people with their faces attached.

Lei Er secretly sighed, thinking that Lao Tzu read a fart book, and wiped his ass with them when he almost recognized the words, this thing is similar to a certain Chinese classic taught in kindergarten in his previous life, which is called "Confucian Classics", study, learn a fart.