All the time, I can feel the monster eating at my heart. The monster called Sensual makes my behavior change with interpersonal interactions, and makes me deviate from the right path and sink deeper and deeper. - Nameless

Since I was a child, I've always longed for heroes.

Probably 12 years old. At that time, children were at the age when they were most heroic.

Even if you inherit those memories, children are children after all, and it is natural to want to be heroes.

I want to be the one who is right, I want to uphold the path of absoluteness, I want to walk on the road of enforcing justice like the heroes in the comics, and I want to make myself a hero.

It's just such a simple wish.

Because I have a memory, it was very smooth at first. Curbing school violence, improving class grades, setting a good example, achieving good results, becoming a hero in everyone's hearts – this is indeed what it was in the beginning. It's like a hero in a comic, shining on the stage that can be seen and invisible. A character as dazzling as an idol, but not dazzling. He is a born saint.

I tried hard. Really worked hard. It took countless events to learn, to communicate with others, to correct those wrong things. Even if I am bullied by others, I will not care about that, because I know that I am a hero. I want to be a hero. Heroes are bound to get hurt sometimes, don't they? Study hard, work hard, and work hard to make good relationships around you. It's like a dream, it's the focus of everyone, the center of everyone. There are countless times when he is known as a genius, and he clearly understands what he has to do. There will be no feeling of any loss and confusion about their actions. Just walking on the path of justice, just for justice, just for the sake of carrying out justice.

But it failed.

The so-called heroes are nothing more than the delusions of schoolchildren.

People are no longer simple, people are starting to think, partisanship and divisions have emerged, and the differences between men and women have come to the fore.

The hero is dead.

The world in my memory gradually became real.

The world realm, which was originally shrouded in mist, now showed its true appearance.

Justice is never an absolute thing. What is just for one's own country is evil for other countries. For the justice of the individual, it is evil for the state. Chivalry violates the ban with martial arts, and literature uses Confucianism to disrupt the country, and everyone has a role to play. Justice, such an idealistic thing, has always existed only for its own existence. It's all about profit, and there's nothing else to it.

If the world world before the meeting in junior high school was shrouded in fog, then the world world should be full of devastation after the true self is revealed.

The things that I didn't want to see in my memory appeared one after another. Party oppression, the spread of malicious rumors, rumors and slander, and even hiring others to make speeches against their will.

It's not their fault. It's my own fault. It's because I'm too naïve and too trusting of others.

Blaming others for all their faults is a bad behavior.

Because my behavior was too abnormal, because I didn't act like a normal human being, I was able to get this outcome. People have always been creatures who live in groups, and there is no such thing as a hero for one.

Just keep it right, and sooner or later there will be a day of collapse. No one has ever been truly right. No one has ever been able to be liked by everyone. From the very beginning, my ideals were wrong. I'm acutely aware of this. So the hero died, as a glorious man, a saint-like man who died in betrayal. It was a lesson he deserved, or had to learn.

Because I have never been righteous, much less righteous. I'm just doing what I think is right.

In general, if you don't resist, you won't die. When a person is different from ordinary people, then it proves that they are not far from death.

Heroes have always been people who unite everyone around them and are chanted by all the people, and they are never alone and scolded by everyone.

What I did was just a clumsy imitation game.

What I did did not unite the people around me, and the words I made have been discarded by this era. I'm already a person who has been abandoned. This kind of stupid person who does not unite around, takes loneliness for granted, thinks that betrayal is a medal, thinks that being tall and tall is a powerful fool, and this kind of malice for others is not his own fault, and will never deserve to be a hero.

It's just a wretched worm.

Good people have their own good methods, but there is always only one hero.

Because an excellent person is just a person, and the hero represents a class, an era, and a world. And this world also includes excellent people themselves.

The isolated will die alone, the proud will be crushed in pride, the unrepentant who takes betrayal as a medal will drown in the black knife, and those who do not know unity will be destroyed in the strength of the team.

When everything is already predestined, the strength of the individual is too weak.

If you want to be a friend to everyone, if you want to be a hero, all you need is unity. This world is too tolerant of stupid people, thinking that if they have the ability and are correct enough, even if they are truly powerful. But in reality, they are nothing more than a wave that gradually drowns in interpersonal communication. Sooner or later, they will be swallowed up by the waves of the team. I am so, and so is Yangnai. Yono represents the family under the snow, and there is already a family behind her. And after I woke up, I also started a part of the information operation, and I can also say that there is a team, a collective, and a group of forces that cannot be ignored behind me. So compared to that dreamy childhood, I believe that I am stronger and more correct now.

But unfortunately, many people are confused by the seemingly beautiful loneliness, which is actually wrong. Although I can't be everyone's friend, I still have the strength behind me, my own team, my own network, and my own social status. Truly lonely people are always dead, and no one can be separated from the group environment. Food, clothing, housing and transportation are the fruits of human labor, and books and animations are also the fruits of human work. People who want the right will never be at peace unless they are in a good position.

Look, don't even the heroes in the comics say that they are fighting for all mankind? And all of humanity is where he is.

So I'm more meaningless than the first half of my life in Hachiman.

And Xue Nai's life under the snow is meaningless.