Gu Jingsheng's posture did not change, but his eyelashes trembled, and his clear eyes looked a little innocent under the mist rising from the hot porridge, but they regained their clarity after a while. Shu Yu clenched the cup, swallowed in his throat, and asked in a slightly dry voice, "For what?" ”

Perhaps because the heaviest and most painful blow has already been suffered, it seems that the endurance has become stronger, and I can listen to it in the face of these and deal with it with difficulty.

The tiny man pushed the bowl over to him across a small dining table, paused and laughed and whispered, "I've been through something lately, and I'm beginning to understand that maybe I ...... you It's not love yet. Just like I am and have been good to you, dependent on you, and caring for you, all of which are based on your kindness to me. It is gratitude, return, reluctance, cherishing...... Or anything else, I don't know what feelings I have, but I must admit that I don't have a particularly strong heartbeat for you. ”

Gu Jingsheng stared at her blankly, and suddenly laughed softly, his fist against his thin lips, and his eyes moved away as if he was thinking.

She said. She had never had a feeling for him, concubine.

He actually ...... Those who know the way.

From the beginning of the relationship, he knew that she was a very passive little girl, at that time he asked her if she could give her a chance to be protected by him, she thought for a long time before agreeing, since then every time he takes a step, as long as she does not retreat, Gu Jingsheng feels grateful, feels that she can, feels that the flowers bloom in an instant, and is ecstatic.

Actually, even now...... That's also true. So she wouldn't know how excited and surprised he was when she went home that night and begged for the sentence "Jing Sheng, let's get married".

He was so surprised that he felt that life was like fireworks, and after taking off for so long, he finally saw the gorgeous prosperity of the entire night sky.

Even if it eventually withers;

Even if it happens soon.

The heart of the fist slowly loosened from the thin lips, Gu Jingsheng's eyes were covered with scarlet bloodshots, and the sharp pain in his chest pressed on him smiled and asked in a dumb voice: "What else?" ”

Her smile faded little by little, and her voice became a little hoarse: "Jing Sheng, it's not that we can't get married, it's just that if you want to match me like this, you don't deserve it." It's not that I can't get married, but I think Jing Sheng, you can have a better one. ”

Gu Jingsheng just laughed, but stopped talking.

What could he say? Everything she said was right, it was all for his good, he knew it. But what can be done? She didn't love him. But...... But what if I say I still love you, my dear?

How can I find the one in your eyes, not in my eyes, better?

"Tongtong, do you know that there are some people in this world who are together, not because they like it, but just because of habit and dependence, what can't we ...... for Lang" He smiled and struggled again, "You know what it is, no matter what it is, even if one day it really goes to the gray hair, I am sure that it will still be in the same place." ”

She was stunned for a moment, her little face drooped slightly, and she didn't know what to say for a while.

It's cruel.

Gu Jingsheng thought bitterly, it turned out that he had loved him so deeply, so deep that he couldn't bear it just by looking at the silence and struggling, and he couldn't bear to say a word, so he asked again.

He sat up slowly across a dining table, smiled and held her hand on the edge of the bowl, tightly, silently, as if he had suppressed a thousand words. I don't want to ask her, Tongtong, who made you understand that this is not okay? And now that you understand, do I still have a chance to continue waiting for you? Wait for you to say to me one day, Jingsheng, I really seem to be in love with you?

The slender figure raised its head, and suddenly said to him in a daze, "Jing Sheng, I once did something sorry for you. ”

Gu Jingsheng laughed and said in a dumb voice: "Tongtong, if you did something because you didn't love me, then it was with me...... Don't call it wrong. ”

Those watery eyes suddenly trembled and stared at him tightly, and the chest was full of gratitude and warmth, beyond words. She didn't tell a single lie just now, not a word, but she felt that she had said one less word - Jing Sheng, Jing Sheng, do you know what kind of existence you are in my life?

People say that there is a confidant Lan Yan, which means that even if that person can't accompany you to the end of his life, you will want him better than anyone else.

Better than anyone else.

The smile in his eyes at that moment also told her that he had accepted, accepted her dislove, and accepted her ...... Parted.

Withdrawing his hand with a smile, Gu Jingsheng said in a low voice: "I'm still a little hungry, wait a minute, I'll finish eating and go with you." ”

She was stunned. Then he laughed softly.

After the meal, he gently pressed her wrist to prevent her from moving, and said with a light smile, "I'll come by myself." ”

The slender figure followed him to the kitchen and whispered: "I just tricked the police into helping me pry the door, so I guess I will go with them to make a record later, and I probably can't accompany you to see my uncle and aunt, I have to catch the last bus to Linxian to report, and I will take office in a few days." ”

Gu Jingsheng's back stiffened, "When did it happen?" ”

"Just now," she walked over lightly and poured the dishwashing essence, the sun shining through the window on her little face exuding a bright and confident look, and a bright smile, "The internship period is over, this is a normal personnel transfer in the hospital, Linxian is good, right?" But you are not allowed to laugh at me, after all, I am a person from the General Hospital of the Military Region, and my worth is not counted. ”

Gu Jingsheng looked at her in a daze for a while and laughed.

When she was sent out, seeing that she was carrying a big box alone and was going to follow the police, Gu Jingsheng groaned for a while and couldn't help but call a policeman over and whispered a few words privately, the policeman was shocked and wanted to raise his hand to salute, he smiled and pressed it, and turned back to call her: "Tongtong!" ”

She turned her head, her waist-length hair moving with her, and her eyes were clear and bright.

"Remember to tell me the new address," he paused and asked with a smile, "I can get through your phone now, right?" ”

She was stunned, and immediately blushed embarrassedly, and couldn't help laughing, and nodded: "Well, yes!" ”

Gu Jingsheng smiled and didn't speak again, obediently let her go with a few policemen, and after her figure disappeared, the bloodshot in his eyes slowly rose, he closed the door and walked slowly to the kitchen, and saw her petite figure wandering between several police uniforms through the window, and then got into the police car and left. His smile deepened little by little, and the sharp pain that he had been pressing down on a moment slowly surfaced. Hurt. It hurts as if a piece of my heart has been gouged out. He couldn't stop it, he couldn't stop it, he could only make it hurt.

Life hasn't ended yet, but you excused yourself to leave first, leaving me here alone.

You call me, what should I do?

********

Han Feng was in a hurry at the moment.

When he went to the airport to pick up people, he caught up in a traffic jam, his face was blue and he honked his horn violently, but the military car was still caught in a bunch of private cars and couldn't get by, he sweated on his forehead, jumped out of the car and found the traffic police next to him, and after yelling a few words, the captain of the traffic police team finally ran over, stammered and bowed and apologized that he really couldn't get over now.

Han Feng was on fire, and scolded him for finding a police car to open the road immediately, otherwise he would get out of the traffic police team in the next second! The team leader was so frightened that his legs were weak, and he immediately ran to do it.

He was justified in his urgency.

- The call was from the airport, saying that their chief was found fainting on the seat when he got off the plane, his face was pale and his hands were still covering his stomach, and now he was not sent to the hospital in the airport lounge, and the preliminary diagnosis should be acute gastric bleeding.

Han Feng is angry, say you TMD stupid will not be sent to the hospital first, what is wrong with him, who of you can afford it!!

After hanging up the phone, his temples suddenly jumped with bruised muscles, and he couldn't think about what was wrong, what was wrong? When you leave, you have a good time, who saw that you spent a few days in the province and spent a few honeymoons in the province and went to the hospital?

……

"Give you two days off to do it, and you don't have to report to me when you come back, do you want to return to the team, clear?" Huo Siran, whose face was slightly pale, raised his eyes on the hospital bed and glanced at Han Feng coldly.

Han Feng's hands and feet were cold and stiff, and he hadn't reacted yet.

When he recovered from the great shock, he pulled the corners of his pale mouth and said, "Chief, this kind of thing must be handled by himself. ”

Huo Siran coldly pressed his fist to his lips, staring at the document without raising his head: "Go." ”

The corners of Han Feng's mouth twitched.

After a while, he clenched the red ID book in his hand, couldn't stand up straight, saluted, and hurriedly walked out of the ward.

The room was quiet all at once.

Huo Siran stared at the document for an hour, but he didn't read a word.

With a simple wave of his hand, the documents on the stand crackled and fell to the ground!

After a while, he grabbed the phone on the table and dialed Han Feng's mobile phone number, and before he could speak, he sneered and said in a dumb voice: "If you dare to tell her about my current situation, be careful and wait until I come back, I will train you to death, you weigh it and then do it!" ”

Here, Han Feng's hand shook when he was about to dial the phone, and he almost didn't soften on the ground, and he didn't dare to make any small movements when he hung up the phone.

**********

Huo Siran felt pain.

It's hard to describe a kind of pain in name. In the past, he was hit by a knife wound and a gunshot wound, and he was sweating and pale like paper, and he gritted his teeth and endured it, but gastric lavage - or gastric lavage with ice salt water, he felt so painful for the first time, that strong nausea and irritation accompanied by stomach convulsions and contractions rushed straight to the door of his head, the white light in front of him burst out in circles, and the forced vomiting lasted for I don't know how long, he closed his eyes and was full of shadows, and suddenly remembered that she was not a nurse? Why don't you come, teach him how he won't be so uncomfortable.

No wonder a comrade-in-arms once said, don't choose to drink medicine if you commit suicide, in case you don't drink to death, washing your stomach can kill you.

When everything was over, he was half-lying on the side of the bed, his face was pale and embarrassed, as if he had died once.

The doctor's advice said that you should pay attention to rest, not stay up late, and eat a light but nutritious diet.

- Who cares?

The guards were sent out by him, and there were people in the hospital to take care of them, but he didn't eat a bite, and he had insomnia all night long, and on the third day of his stay, he coughed up a lot of blood, which alarmed him, and he was seriously yelled at, "Your body is not your own but the country!" Only then did he slowly wake up.

Well.

Huo Siran thought.

It's no wonder that the state is willing to give so many welfare privileges, but because his life is not his own, he can't even do it himself.

He then began to eat and rest, and when he couldn't sleep, he called the doctor to come and take diazepam, and he could always sleep with a little more, and his condition was getting better day by day.

The man in the dream still hasn't left.

A week later, he received the task to be discharged from the hospital ahead of schedule again, Huo Siran put on and went to the bathroom of the special senior ward to wash up, and then walked out in a tall and solemn military uniform, and the bed was also a neatly folded tofu block like the military camp, and the whole ward was spotless, but it was very empty.

As for people, they don't feel hard when they don't get it, but once they get it and lose it, they can't die of pain.

He's held out so long...... Finally. I can't hold it anymore.

Look, look at where he slept all these years?

Barrack? Hospital? Or is it an empty house with him alone??

What about his side? There are only obedient subordinates, cold guns, and countless dangerous frontlines that could lose their lives at any time.

He couldn't help it.

Why those, none of you??

Before leaving, he finally called Han Feng and asked him, "Did you go?" ”

The cold peak is fragmented.

Huo Siran stood in front of the window and stared at the sunny scenery outside, and said in a low voice: "Return to the team." No need to go. ”

Han Feng was overjoyed and blurted out: "I didn't go, chief, I was in the urban traffic police team, I didn't go at all!" "But when the excitement is over, it wilts, the MD is finished, and he hasn't figured out what the chief's heart is happy about?

Huo Siran's face turned pale, his thin lips were cold and the blood faded, his hands trembled a little, and then he hung up the phone silently and threw it on the hospital bed.

You see, even others can see that he can't do without.

He sat upright on the hospital bed, bent down and his elbows resting on his knees, his fingers clasped together, and secretly thought to himself—what about you?

Tongtong. What about you?

***********

Linxian is very small.

But such a small county will also have traffic jams.

Huo Siran raised his eyes coldly, and without saying a word, he gave the driver in front of him the greatest deterrent, and the driver broke out in a cold sweat and said: "Today, the market in the county town is open, maybe people from various nearby villages are rushing here, preparing New Year's goods in advance, chief, you see, they are all agricultural vehicles." ”

Huo Siran's eyes softened.

said that it was the best agricultural vehicle, but he was most sympathetic to ordinary people. But......

Huo Siran's eyebrows furrowed, and she looked through the car window at the low buildings and unclean streets of this small county town - she had been in this kind of place for nearly a month?

How can you stay?

After waiting impatiently for twenty minutes, the road was finally clear, and when he arrived at the county affiliated hospital, it was almost noon, and Huo Siran was slightly flustered when he stopped the car, thinking that he hadn't prepared anything, and he hadn't even thought about what to say, how did he get over??

The driver was nervous again - this chief, when he is not there, he can kill people with his eyes in his eyes, but when he really arrives, he closes his eyes and pretends to sleep in the car, and does not get out of the car, what is this for?

In the end, Huo Siran opened his eyes, and said with a cold face: "You go for a walk elsewhere." Don't come back before 2 o'clock. ”

The driver was stunned for a moment, and then nodded violently: "Yes, chief!" ”

After a pause, Huo Siran got out of the car.

The emergency department in the whole hospital is always the busiest, when there are many patients, there is no stop from morning to night, Lin Yitong just received a call for a fight and called an ambulance to pick it up, and when he arrived at the hospital, the two groups of people who were fighting still had to continue to fight, and a quarrel caused anger, so frightened that several young nurses hid in with pale faces, and no one dared to stop the head nurse when he went to other departments, only to see a blood-stained slender figure running out of it, glaring angrily, "Bang!" With a bang, he dropped the medical record book on the consultation table, and said sharply: "What's the trouble?" Warning you that all the medical equipment here is public, and the cameras are staring at whoever smashes it one by one, and I will pay a lot of compensation! You-that's you, the instrument in your hand is 75,000 imported from Germany, you fall, you can't fall, don't treat yourself as a man! If you want to fight, you will give me a shot, and if you don't die, you will come in to see a doctor! ”

Who wouldn't be ruthless? The two groups of people wilted, and the two men who were stitching needles on their heads and glaring at each other angrily were panting like cattle, and they each said cruel words before sitting down and obediently stitching. The slender man was also too tired, brushed the hair around his ear and picked up the medical record folder again, and asked coldly, "Name." ”

The corner of the man's mouth grinned, and when he saw her taking the medical records, he was worried: "Doctor, we are not hospitalized." ”

She sneered: "Not hospitalized? Your leg is lame, and we are not allowed to stuff beds in the corridor of our ward, do you want to go home for treatment or obediently pay for hospitalization? ”

The man's eyes were red: "Then we can't afford to live, it's too expensive!" ”

"What are you fighting if it's too expensive? You can be the capital of this year's fierce fight, and you don't have to pay for treatment when your body is fighting, right? Taking the opportunity to criticize the man severely, her little face glowed with a cold light, and she responded to the grateful gaze of his honest wife, "Say the name again, if you don't have it, make up one, and I'll prescribe medicine." ”

The man choked, then he understood, his face turned red in a flash, he lowered his head and handed it to his wife next to him.

There were dots of blood all over the ground, Huo Siran walked in tall, squinted his eyes and stared at her for a long time, and a little nurse took a mop and said, "Trouble get up." ”

Then seeing that he was tall and handsome, the little nurse blushed and asked, "What are you doing here?" See a doctor? ”

Huo Siran paused, raised his hand and looked at his watch: "You don't rest at noon?" ”

"Rest, rest later, I'll go home after mopping the ground, who are you looking for?" She could tell that she was looking for someone.

Huo Siran couldn't speak.

After a while, he said in a deep voice: "It's okay." I'm waiting. ”

I haven't seen her for a month, she seems to be thinner, her chin has become smaller, and her face has become more delicate and seductive, as if she is still ...... It's a lot better.

Being stared at like this, no matter how dull Rao is, feels it, Lin Yitong glanced over here and turned back, but her eyelashes trembled, as if she saw something that made her heart stop, her little face turned white and looked over again, now she really saw it clearly, Huo Siran stood tall at the door of the emergency department, staring at her with a faint but deep look.

"Doctor, there's nothing wrong with this leg, is it?" The wife asked worriedly.

She was stunned, her little face turned around, and her cold voice just now was a little embarrassed: "It's okay, it's generally fractured." And I am, the nurse. ”

The wife seemed to understand whether she understood or not, nodded and took care of her husband again.

Lin Yitong was restless and didn't dare to go over at will.

It's not that she hasn't been stabbed by this man, she's just afraid that if she says something after she passes, he will sneer and tell her that you think too much, I'm not waiting for you. After all, when he said divorce a month ago, the whole person was vicious.

The little head flicked, really, what was she thinking?

It seems that she didn't plan to come.

Huo Siran's eyes darkened, and after thinking for a while, she still raised her feet and walked up, and when the slender person came out of the ward, she happened to bump into him, and her small breathing was obviously suffocated, and she froze in place. His thin lips were slightly white, and he looked at her at close range as if he was in a different world, and said in a dumb voice: "Doctor...... I'm a little, uncomfortable. ”