"What? Let me wear women's clothes to a public place!? Shu Zhe screamed, "Brother Ye Lin, you're too nonsense!" How can this be! ”

I didn't think so, "Why not?" Haven't you been out once before in women's clothes? I also went to the women's toilet in the park...... Have you forgotten? ”

"That'...... It was after dark, and it was me! Pretending to be someone else's girlfriend and dining with them or something, you'll be exposed! If it is exposed in public, I will be embarrassed and thrown home! ”

"It's just a meal with a bunch of otaku, how can they debunk you? You haven't had anything to do during this time, so you chatted with 'coriander stuffed buns' on the Internet, and 'false voice' has been perfected, right? In addition, your Adam's apple is particularly inconspicuous, which can be equated with none, and as for the breasts or something, you can deal with it by buying a thicker chest pad - as long as you don't take off your pants, no one can tell that you are a man dressed as a woman! ”

Shu Zhe hesitated for a moment, "Even if I can do it, what's the benefit to me?" ”

"You can eat a meal for nothing!" I'm pretending to be exaggerating.

"Hmph, if you agree to do this kind of thing just for the sake of eating a meal for nothing, then you are a real idiot!"

Shu Zhe threw a piece of gum into his mouth, and said while chewing: "Brother Ye Lin, since you promised to help people pimp, you must have the money to take it, right?" ”

Who's pimping! It is rumored that I just killed people and set fire to sell ecstasy, and I really don't want to put this charge on my head! At most, this is equivalent to Japan's "rental girlfriend" business, and I'm in a hurry, so I made this decision for the sake of a brother who played dota!

After I severely corrected Shu Zhe's erroneous statement, I told him: "I do have money to take, and Xiaoding especially wants to raise his eyebrows in front of the LOL party, so as long as you pretend to be his girlfriend, he will hand over all the 1,000 yuan he earns from his part-time job to you!" ”

Hearing that the remuneration was expensive, Shu Zhe's eyes lit up, and he hesitated: "Xiaoli has recently fallen in love with a set of imported cosmetics, and I am indeed a little tight on hand......"

"But Brother Ye Lin, what you said about Xiao Ding, is it the pet hospital that my sister often goes to, the Xiao Ding who blushes when she sees a girl?"

I nodded in acquiescence.

"That's not going to work!" Shu Zhe was anxious, "I went to the pet hospital to find my sister a few times, and Xiaoding saw me!" If he tells my sister about my disguise, I won't be able to eat and walk away! ”

"What the hell is a hairy boy in the lower grades," I sneered, "do you think I didn't think I had this layer in mind?" If this matter reaches your sister's ears, not only will you not be able to eat and walk around, but my life will also be in danger! Tell you, Xiao Ding and I had a friendship with us eating a bowl of instant noodles in an Internet café, and he would never reveal this matter! I promise nothing will happen! ”

Actually, Xiao Ding didn't know that the "temporary girlfriend" I wanted to provide to him was a pseudo-mother, I just felt that Xiao Ding was not a particularly demanding person, as long as he could meet the wishes of others, what did it matter if he was a man or a woman?

Shu Zhe asked me for the specific time, and then muttered: "If you have the money to take it, it doesn't matter if you try it once, after all, I have been practicing false voice for so long, if I just chat with coriander stuffed buns online, it would be a pity......"

"That's it!" I chimed in, "When the time comes, I'll pick out which women's clothes you need from my online store!" ”

Shu Zhe disdainfully "cut" and made a "forget it" gesture to me.

"Brother Ye Lin, your women's clothes are either leopard print or silk, and there are very few that can be worn, I happen to have a set of clothes that I plan to give to Xiaoli, so I'll wear this set that day!"

Huh? Do you wear your girlfriend's clothes first? Sounds like a strange feeling.

"However, for other equipment purchased in order to prevent exposure, you must pay for it, Brother Ye Lin!"

Shu Zhe's expression became resolute.

"Other equipment? What else is equipped? Aren't there already clothes and wigs? ”

Shu Zhe's face was slightly red, "Obviously you said it yourself just now, what are you pretending to be stupid now?" Chest pads! Chest pads! I will never buy defective products for things that come into contact with my skin, Brother Ye Lin, you just wait to reimburse me! ”

In fact, you don't have to do that step, like Shu Zhe is so thin, even if his chest is flat, he will not necessarily be suspected, is it possible that Shu Zhe, who loves super face, even if he is dressed as a pseudo-mother, has to compete with other otaku boyfriends and girlfriends present, does he have to be glamorous?

Put your competitive spirit to work in strange places! I didn't see you stepping up your workout after finishing first in the 800-meter run!

"Ye Lin, how did you spend Sunday?"

After a little leisure, Xiaoqin smiled and talked to me in Chinese class.

On Sundays, my schedule really doesn't look as busy as a junior high school student should be.

In addition to the time to run an online store, I discussed the next filming arrangements of "Bloody Battle in Jinling" with Director Cao.

The second episode with me has been broadcast on the Internet, and although the audience complained that the heroine was not really raped by Jinling, it still achieved a better popularity than the first episode.

I have to admire the skills of the makeup artist, because of their amazing work, the audience didn't notice that in the middle of the second episode, Jinling Evil Shao changed actors, and I was saved from being introduced into trouble because of this micro-movie.

In the third episode of "Bloody Battle in Jinling", in order to attract people's attention, Director Cao wanted to temporarily change the script and arrange a scene where the evil boy and the actor in Jinling fought naked in the stream, and specially asked me if I agreed.

Agree with your sister! Let me fight naked with the heroine, maybe I will think about it, let me fight with the male protagonist naked, what kind of trouble! Want to please the rotten female audience!

At the end of the day, we each took a step back and decided to change the scene to just the upper body.

"There have been so many thieves in Dongshan City recently!" After discussing this matter, Director Cao complained to me, "The iphone5s I just bought were stolen before they were hot!" ”

"Who told you to buy apples in a hurry," I touched the copycat machine in my trouser pocket, and a sense of superiority arose, "You buy a domestic mobile phone like me, and absolutely no one steals it!" ”

Director Cao rolled over a pair of hygienic eyes to me, "If you don't use a foreign brand mobile phone as a director, actresses will think that you are a fake director!" But don't be complacent about that thief, I used the fingerprint unlock function of the iphone5s, and they won't be able to use my phone for a while! ”

"Fingerprint unlock? I heard that thing is easy to crack! I said, "Foreign children can stick fingerprints on the screen with gummy bears, and your phone will probably be ...... long ago."

Director Cao waved his hand and said proudly: "For a high-end person like me, I can't reflect my difference with fingerprints alone, so I use the texture on my head!" They deserve to be unlucky, so let them use all kinds of fingerprints in vain! ”

That's the only thing new on Sunday, but I don't always feel right to talk to Qin about "ru' head", so I lazily tell her that I'm sleeping at home.

"Coincidentally, I stayed at home on Sunday and didn't go out!" Xiaoqin said happily, "I drew a cartoon of our trip to the zoo on Saturday, do you want to take a look?" ”

As he spoke, he handed over the picture book.

How do you evaluate it? If it weren't for Amy's parasol as a sign, I wouldn't have been able to tell which side was a person and which side was an animal.

"What is this, is it a gorilla?" I pointed to something black and asked, "There don't seem to be gorillas in the zoo on Saturday, right?" ”

"Oh, that's Penthos." Xiaoqin happily replied, "I painted a portrait, right?" ”

Well, unexpectedly like a gorilla, in terms of Xiaoqin's painting skills, it is already a great progress.

"Ye Lin, you stand up and answer the question!" The Chinese teacher called me up again, and he just didn't like me.

"Page 57!" Xiao Qin quietly reminded me below.

I flipped to page 57 and waited fearlessly for Old Man Zhang to ask a question, but he put the book on the podium and asked:

"To brush up on the previous knowledge – you hit your dog and it snorted, is this an interjection, or an adverb?"

My brain suddenly stopped, and I hesitated: "Teacher, I haven't talked about this knowledge before, have you?" ”

Old man Zhang snorted, "I've said I've talked about it!" To put another question, a beggar sees a dog barking at him, is this a verbal description, or a psychological description? ”

Huh? Old man Zhang, why did you the dog today! Wouldn't it be a shame that I couldn't answer a single question? The squad leader is still watching me!

After a moment's thought, I replied, "It's a verbal description for a dog, and a psychological description for a beggar!" ”

Just thinking that he had a plan, Old Man Zhang sneered: "I'm asking you, do you approve of dogs or beggars?" Which one do you want to be? ”

Wow! Changing the law and scolding people! Didn't I just write in the last propositional essay "Contradiction" in an ultra-modern style: "I looked at my eyes, Tian Tian my tongue, walked to the round square table, and said to the balding teacher with long hair 'Good morning, noon and evening'!"

The bald teacher is not the only one, old man Zhang! You don't need to take revenge on me in class!

"It is said that 'rather be a peaceful dog than a troubled world', many times people are not as good as dogs, which is a pity!"

Old man Zhang actually turned to face the blackboard and read some words.

"Oops!" Old man Zhang was suddenly thrown a chalk head at the back of his head, and the classroom suddenly became very quiet.

Although the squad leader has throwing expertise, it is impossible for the squad leader to do such a big rebellion without a division leader.

Xiaoqin wiped the chalk ash off her fingers with a tissue, pretending that it didn't matter to herself, and smiled:

"Why has Ye Lin been staring at me? If you look at it like this, people will blush! ”

You should indeed blush when you throw chalk and hit the teacher! Old man Zhang is just arguing with me, and you can't interfere!

Old man Zhang was naturally furious, but he didn't find out who threw the chalk head after the worst time, so the whole class was forced to write a review, and there were many complaints.

Xiaoqin, who was writing reviews and writing happily in the self-study class, was suddenly called to the corridor by the class leader.

I'm afraid that Xiaoqin's small actions have not escaped the eyes of the squad leader, although the squad leader did not point out in public that Xiaoqin was the real culprit who threw the teacher with chalk, but he should seriously criticize her afterwards, let her remember the lesson and not repeat it, right?

After the self-study class, there was a lunch break, and neither the class leader nor Xiaoqin had ever returned to the classroom, so I guessed they might have gone to lunch together, so the conversation between the two was peaceful?

But when I was in the crooked alley behind the snack street and saw the squad leader lying face down on the ground, and Xiaoqin holding a wooden stick in her hand, I was stunned.