What Xu Xun was thinking in her heart, in fact, only she could really understand.

The heart is selfish, and Xu Xun will have sympathy and pity for those innocent concubines who were buried, but this mercy will not make her unable to eat and sleep. The undestined child, who had a miscarriage before two months, could not make her lose her soul, and the town would not be able to give up during the day. -- After witnessing the tragic circumstances of the funeral that day, most of the concubines who were not noble enough and had no children were thinking about the same problems as her.

The lips are dead and the teeth are cold, and the rabbit is dead and the fox is sad. How can a woman who is from a heavenly family not worry about her future? No matter how happy the prince is, Xu Xun never thought of living and dying with him...... Even, the four words of living and dying together do not apply to her relationship with the prince, the prince is dead, she is very likely to be buried with her, but if she dies, the prince will not have to pay anything other than a few tears and some rewards.

People want to live. But what she is clearly in front of her is a dead end, even if the atmosphere of the palace is peaceful and the hearts of the people are warm, what heart does Xu Xun have to be happy now? Her state of mind really fits the requirements of the mood of filial piety in "The Book of Rites", she is really at a loss and in a hurry.

But if you want to find a way to live, how can it be so simple? No matter how messy Xu Xun's heart is, she has also set a line for herself: three years of decay, the first year must not have any sexual affairs, she still has a lot of time to confuse and distress. After a year, she just has no direction and it is time to cheer up.

If you just live, you can live well even if you don't have a pet in the palace, and you don't even have to look at a man's face. But if you want to live, you have to rely on the favor of men. In the past, when the prince said "one drop of essence and ten drops of blood", Xu Xun laughed at his seriousness in his heart. But now, she can understand the hidden favor in this sentence: in the palace, what is more important than a son? The prince understands this too well, so he wants to let the precious essence blood be irrigated as much as possible in the fields that can sprout and sprout.

If you can give birth to a prince......

There are many things, Xu Xun doesn't dare to think about it now, the princess is still very young, and the relationship between the princess and the prince, although it can't be said to be honey and oil, is also very harmonious. Even when she is sick, when she is healthy, she always takes the most time to sleep. The eldest son has a valuable status, and he is naturally better than the sons as soon as he is born, and the prince obviously attaches great importance to this, and he wants to give birth to an eldest son. As Xu Xun and the crown princess, she also sincerely hopes that the crown princess can have a son.

But no matter what, if there is a prince, no matter how you say it, there is a hope in hand...... This is the only thing she can do in the current situation.

As for the other paths, they never existed in the first place, and they can't be said to be impassable. Can she still escape from the palace privately, still have a child in her womb, and snatch the throne in her hands?

Xu Xun believes that she has only one advantage: she has always understood her own catties. These things can't be done with her.

But even if he was clear about the path to take, Xu Xun's mood was not a little brighter. She used to read poetry and books, Qu Yuan's "Lisao", "Tianwen", Xu Xun had read it, and it was a laugh at the time, but now that she thinks about it, she knows that the famous articles through the ages are really extraordinary. The sentence 'the road is long' has exhausted her endless mood.

The path of study has always been so endless, even with the power of the sages, you have to search up and down. What about the meaning of life? Xu Xun is no longer exhausted at the moment, she is completely lost.

I used to think that if I was hired into the heavenly family, I would be the imperial concubine. Although he occupies the title of an emperor, he is still the same as an ordinary concubine, which is nothing more than the fact that the master of Yuele has children and assists the housekeeper in housework. If there is anything different from ordinary concubines, it is that she also has to take on the duty of advising her husband not to be obsessed with sex. When you are favored, try to have children as much as possible, and after falling out of favor, you will assist the housemother Zori Inner Palace, so peaceful and smooth, isn't it a lifetime? Compared with the concubines of ordinary people, the wealth she can enjoy, even the head mother of the prince's family can only be dumbfounded, Xu Xun has always cherished blessings, and she is very satisfied with her life.

Can...... Ordinary concubines do not need to be killed to martyr their husbands. Xu Xun wasn't sure who she could blame, whether it was the emperor who had gone away, or the emperor who ordered the burial, no matter what, she couldn't blame the crown prince for what happened in Shouchang Palace. But Rao is like this, every time the prince comes to visit her with good intentions, Xu Xun still can't help but feel rejection, disgust and fear from the bottom of her heart, even if she understands that it is reasonable, the prince can't do more about the life and death of his grandmother's concubines, he is just a complete bystander in this matter, but as long as he thinks that once the tall man around him who takes care of himself dies, it is likely to be her death, Xu Xun gave birth to an indescribable anger and rebellion from the bottom of his heart.

Is the crown prince amazing? Is the emperor remarkable? Everyone is a human being, don't you also have to eat and drink Lazar, why do you have to die with you when you die?

Is this palace for me to enter? You snatched me in! People have rushed in, served you, and when you die, they will die with you, even the robbers are not so unreasonable! She Xu Xun is also raised by her father, and she is also a life, how could she be so cheap?

The words of resentment that he had read before were rushing around like a torrent in his heart, Xu Xun knew that the prince thought she was too sad and unrelenting, but in fact, how could it be, every time he came to visit, she was in a spirit of 120,000 points, and she didn't dare to reveal a little of what she thought in her words. These rebellious thoughts, just leaking a little bit, are enough to make her really be degraded, and she will be punished by Gong Zhengji.

The Son of Heaven was ordained by heaven, and after his death, "death is like life", and he also needs the service of his wife and concubine underground. Xu Xun also inquired, in the past 20 years, there have even been feudal kings who died and concubines were martyred, and the guiding ideology was the saying that death is like life. The concubines who were martyred during the reign of Emperor Gao, regardless of whether they had children or not, all followed them underground. As a conscious prince, how could she show any doubts about the funeral system, could it be that her love for the prince was not enough to make her give up her life?

Xu Xun can answer fluently without stumbling: It's not enough, it's not enough at all. Far fragrant and smelly, for this tall and sturdy handsome young man, she has to slander her. It's not that there is no affection, after a few years of getting along, there must be love, but she really didn't respect that part.

But what if she didn't get to that share, she didn't want to beg and maintain the prince's favor, she still had to rely on him to live, after all, the funeral was a matter of the future, and now if she revealed a little bit of her thoughts that she shouldn't have, her life would not be much better than the funeral. Xu Xun sometimes really felt that she was going to be torn in half, she really couldn't maintain the normal appearance of smiling as usual, although no one abused her or calculated her, everyone treated her very well. But she couldn't wait to make a fuss, cry and scream, and vent the unspeakable turmoil in her heart. The bosses were dissatisfied with her performance, and Xu Xun couldn't take it to heart.

Even now, in the words of the crown princess, everyone must keep filial piety for three years, and the possibility of making her a time difference and preemptively conceiving the imperial heir will be cut off. Xu Xun was not depressed at all, she didn't even know where her mind went, all she left was confusion and chaos. Keep filial piety, keep filial piety, if you don't give birth, you won't give birth, even if you are born, there is a funeral of the concubine, and the dynasty has not happened.

And in this fog, what the crown princess said, she was somewhat deaf, just a false story, until she was left to speak alone, the princess once again hit the nail on the head to mention the funeral, in this sentence, it was like piercing Xu Xun's heart, so that her full of resentment, there was a danger of eruption, she used all her self-control, to suppress all these emotions to the bottom of her heart.

The tremor in the voice of "I ......" was genuine.

The crown princess was successfully deceived by her, and she didn't notice Xu Xun's strange appearance at all, she showed a kind smile, patted Xu Xun's shoulder, lowered her voice and said, "Don't spread this matter." However, it is said that my father was also frightened by the tragic situation of Shouchang Palace that day......"

The former prince and the current emperor have indeed always been famous for their kindness. Over the years, unlike the inner palace that carries the dead out at every turn, the East Palace has rarely caused deaths, and recently, although Xu Xun has been confused and does not ask about the world, he has also heard in a trance that the emperor has pardoned Fang Xiaoru's great rebellion, and found him and the descendants of the two ministers who assisted Jianshu back then, and raised them in the shade. The funeral is too cruel, and it is normal for the emperor to be unbearable.

This sentence seems to be the magic needle of Dinghai, and it immediately fixed Xu Xun's mind. -- Not because the funeral is expected to be abolished, but not all. More more, or because of ...... Xu Xun couldn't tell, maybe it was because there was finally a second person besides her, who was still such a high-ranking and powerful person, showing his dislike for the funeral.

It's not that I'm wrong, Xu Xun thought, it's the matter of martyrdom, it's wrong! It's not that I'm selfish and unwilling to serve my husband underground. But...... It's that my life is really not so cheap! People are not born to be so different!

Straightening can be strong, and the heart lake that has been disturbing like a pot of porridge all the time seems to have suddenly calmed down, Xu Xun is almost relieved - she has always asked herself if she is an obedient student, but these days, what kind of rebellious thoughts are turning in her mind? It is almost contrary to the teachings of "Female Commandments" and "Women's Training". How can she still feel at ease? The harem concubines should be exemplary women's morality. is secretly rebellious in his heart, and he still steals the position of the prince, isn't it a deception to the world and a thief? The crown princess's words really had the effect of clearing the clouds and seeing the sun, making her feel that the clouds and mist around her body had dissipated a lot.

The crown princess naturally felt her relaxation, she hesitated for a moment, and then whispered, "However, the younger generations do not abolish the previous law, even if the emperor has an opinion on the funeral, it cannot be shown in Emperor Wen's concubines." And now, he won't mention the matter of his concubines, after all, mentioning the murderous gift soon after his accession to the throne is somewhat of a bad omen......"

Xu Xun still understands this truth, even if he wants to abolish the funeral, most of the emperors will wait until he dies to make this decision. No one likes to talk about their own aftermath, and that's a natural thing.

With these two sentences, if Xu Xun still doesn't cheer up, it will be a disappointment to the princess's wishes, she is indeed much clearer now, at least, she has the strength to be a normal self.

Xu Cairen smiled slightly and gratefully squeezed the princess's hand. "Sister...... It's that I'm not sensible, so my sister can't help but leak the news. ”

It was only two sentences of effort, and Xiao Xun regained his previous intimate wisdom - how did the emperor's private words reach the ears of the crown princess? Although there is no impermeable wall in the world, the emperor will not like his son and daughter-in-law to listen to his news. When the crown princess told Xu Xun this, she also took a risk. Otherwise, she would have said it directly at the small meeting just now, Sun Yunu and He Xianxian are also concubines, so don't they have to worry about the funeral? Xu Xun received the love of the crown princess.

The crown princess smiled with relief, "Between the two of us, still talking about this?" It's good that you can cheer up, what do I have to count on you to help me......"

A dark shadow flashed under her eyes, "Don't say that those who travel a hundred miles are half ninety, we have just begun our journey of ten thousand miles." From now on, we should aim for the former East Palace, and be cautious in our words and deeds. This is indispensable for the help of the sisters, but the spirit of the jade girl is not very good, if you are depressed and decadent, I really feel that there is a lack of help. ”

The words are vague and vague, as if there is a hint of something, but it is inconvenient to say it explicitly.

Xu Xun immediately felt a little awe-inspiring: The prince has been a very difficult position since ancient times. As a monarch in reserve, there is no one who is not immune to the suspicion of the current monarch. Especially the age difference between the emperor and the crown prince is not too far, now one is not old, but the other is already young and strong, with full wings...... Hugh said that there has always been no intrigue in the palace, but there are contradictions, and now is not the time for fighting. Around the throne, is there less strange things going on in the palace? Even if the crown prince is now in a stable position, he has to be prepared for danger in times of peace! Speaking of which, I have to worry about the funeral, and I should worry about it after the crown prince ascends the throne. The most important thing now is to cooperate with the crown princess and do a good job in the palace.

"Exactly." Xu Xun frowned, he had already come up with a plan. "Sister He has always only asked about the affairs of the palace, over the years, the palace affairs have changed hands several times, and our three sisters have been in charge for a period of time, and they have all rested for a while. If anyone can pinch the palace affairs firmly, there is no such thing. Today, Sister Sun is not in good health, so she will stay for two days, and when she recovers, the three of us will have to sit down together to discuss the specific regulations. In addition to the eldest brother, the whole palace must not lose the etiquette of filial piety. ”

She didn't ask the princess about the details of her words: There are some things that are not good if you know too much, and the leaders should worry about what the leaders are worried about.

To be honest, the crown princess is also happy to see the funeral avoided. Seeing Xu Xuncong's half-dead appearance just now, and suddenly returned to this lively and lovely appearance, the crown princess nodded with relief, "Aren't you the same?" Let's go back and rest first, the day after tomorrow is still long, and it's not too late for us to discuss it again. ”

Xu Xun smiled, bowed down to thank the crown princess, and then withdrew from the house. - Although she can't make a sound during the filial piety period, the haze on her face is indeed gone, and the joy that belongs to Xu Cairen's unique joy is all back at once.

Even Mama Qian and Mama Sun, who sent her over, saw this change, and the two grandmothers smiled slightly when they looked at each other - it stands to reason that when Xu Xun went out, most of the people who followed her were little palace maids, and they didn't have to accompany them when they walked in the East Palace. But Xu Xun's mental state for a while, he had to fall on the flat ground, so that no one could rest assured, and the two grandmothers just followed.

"In the end, it is still the ability of the crown princess, and I don't know what prescription was prescribed to the nobleman, but it worked after taking it at that time." Before leaving the palace gate, Mama Sun joked with Xu Xun.

Xu Xun stopped, glanced back at Grandma Sun, and said with a smile, "I don't know, but I feel that those days in the past were like living in a dream, and now I have woken up." ”

Mama Qian, Mama Sun, Hua'er, and Hong'er all looked at each other and smiled, Xu Xun turned her head again, and glanced at the towering buildings with carved beams and painted walls and green tiles, and she also smiled slightly.

It's just that the smile didn't reach the eyes.

Everyone is drunk and I wake up alone, in fact, many times, it is a blessing to be able to stay in a mess.

The author has something to say: Xiao Xu is beginning to recognize the essence of Gong Xu.

Again: there won't be a lot of intrigue in this article. will not take the battle of the women in the palace as the main theme, let alone an aiqing story.

Gong Dou, conspiracy and the male protagonist are all part of Xu Xun's life, not the main theme, this book is about her life, so it is called the living note of the concubine. Because the change of mentality that comes from the funeral is a very important joint in her growth, I will not be stingy with pen and ink, if the reader feels that the plot is slow, maybe because you have not seen what you want to see, if my text can not satisfy you, you can not read it at any time, the text and the reader have been experiencing a two-way choice, which is normal. But I don't accept the accusation that I am hydrographic.

Of course,Readers who will stay to see it can still get my assurance.,This story must have a beginning and an end.,The heart is complete.、Clear logic.、Full characters.、Constant conflicts.,It's just that the conflicts don't necessarily revolve around the heroine.,The three chapters of the new volume Many people think the plot is slow.,Is it because I haven't seen the harem competing for favor? The harem competition for favor is really not the main theme of this volume, what contradiction is, my hint is already obvious, as for Xu Xun's role in this contradiction, if you are interested, you can rest assured.