[Chapter 25 61 The Rainbow of the Cloud Opening and Rain]

Cheng Jingyi held her face with both hands.

It started to rain outside.

The winter rain in the middle of the night actually brought clarity to people's hearts.

"Cheng Jingyi, that child is not only yours." Tao Xiang said.

He leaned back on the couch.

The cigarette had been extinguished for a long time, and he had not lit it again.

Jingyi put down her hand, and the ring on her finger was shining gold.

"It's gone." She said.

The three words that came out seemed to be someone stabbing her heart with something. Every time it hurts.

She had almost closed that memory.

From...... The day she met him, the long but brief period of her upended life.

It seems that she can only survive if she is closed.

"Tao Xiang," she looked at him, a cold and indifferent shadow, "I ......"

"It was obviously an accident, but you lied to me that you beat the child and took him away for several years...... Are you back after all, and if I don't ask you at this moment, do you plan to tell me differently for the rest of your life? Tao Xiang asked.

There was no violence in his tone. In its place was an indescribable desolation. Like the moon in the desert, bright but boundless cold...... The same is true of his countenance.

"I'll tell you." Jingyi replied.

What did she have to say about this past...... She had thought that the last days by his side would be the darkest years she had ever experienced, but they weren't. Can'a's death dealt her another blow. The fetus in her womb that she had supported after leaving him, Chan'a, who had given her infinite hope—she called him Chan'er because she firmly believed it was her new sunshine—and Can'a's death had brought her even more painful times. She lost her heart and lost a fetus, she thought that she would spend a long time in loneliness and despair, but she did not expect that God would leave her a child...... She has said cruel things countless times, and even yelled at Tao Xiang not to get children like that. If she really gave up, she couldn't do it. She loves her children, even those who are not born.

What a comfort Can'a's birth brought her, she is difficult to describe.

But Can'er was born with a congenital disease. He was a baby with a heart defect. She took Can'er, who was sentenced to death, to visit famous doctors in Europe almost everywhere. However, treatment after treatment brought her a new despair, until she learned that there was a new treatment in the United States, called a heart transplant. She took Can'er from the European continent to the United States.

Her Chan'er is a baby who just knows how to call her mother.

He has the best eyes in the world...... His little face is pink, and so are his lips...... Even his whole body is covered in this charming cherry pink. But it's not because he's healthy, it's because of his heart disease.

Waiting for the right heart is a long process. Not only the medicine itself, but also ethically controversial, no one wants to take risks, and no one wants to donate.

She waited anxiously for news every day.

Until one day, waiting for a little girl's heart......

After the operation, Chan'er was in danger for a long time. She guarded her untiedly.

Chan'er lived for another three months after the surgery.

For the past three months, she fell asleep in fear every day, for fear that when she woke up, Can'er was no longer there...... But there will still be such a day.

She hugged Chan'er and looked at him and closed her eyes.

"He's not in good health...... I speak late and always have a little slurred speech...... Since I was a child, I listened to English, calling my mother Mommy, vague, but I understood it...... Sometimes he's not calling me, and I think he's calling ...... Very well-behaved, almost never crying, never crying out in pain," she said......

She hugged Chan'er and watched him close his eyes.

Close the most beautiful eyes in the world...... Can'er is like him, very like. Even the lines of the fingers are like, ten buckets...... She thought that she would see Can'er grow up day by day no matter what, watch him be reborn, watch him marry a wife and have children, and watch him ...... Grow silver hair.

But that day Can'er was in her arms, and her eyes were closed forever.

Her dream as Can'er's mother became a permanent dream and accompanied Can'er.

She regretted not being able to give him more love, and regretted many things, including never teaching him to call Daddy......

"But he'll call Daddy. I don't know how he learned it...... But he would. She whispered. The first time Can'a shouted the word, he was sitting on a hospital bed, playing with toys with his back to her. She was stunned. She comforted herself by saying that he was babbling, and even if he was always in the hospital, it would not prevent him from being exposed to these words...... "Tao Xiang, I sent you a telegram." ”

She bowed her head.

The finely shredded diamonds sparkle like stars in the lamp.

She thought that one day she would finally tell him this. The process of saying it was so difficult, and she had expected it. But fortunately, now she can bear it, and she is no longer the one who was so painful that she wanted to end her life when she lost her son. She came back to life. It took her so long to find something that would allow her to devote herself to it...... She can't waste those days when she still has to endorse Can'er with her arms, and that's the day when she will show Can'er her report card and hope that he, a toddler, will give her smile as encouragement. I can't forget how I felt when I still chose to leave at such a difficult and sad time. She's working hard for herself, but also for the people she has in her heart......

"Tao Xiang, I sent you a telegram, but you didn't come." She said she didn't look at him. Although I think it may be a stone sinking in the sea again. The last four words he gave her were blessings and shackles. He hated her, she wanted that. But at that time, she still chose to tell him.

She and Chan'er didn't wait for him.

It wasn't more painful for her than losing Chan'er, so she was able to face it...... After all, they are separated.

After all, he hated her.

She thought it would be better if he didn't come...... She couldn't hope for him anymore.

"I've been." Tao Xiang said.

The static ripples are petrified.

"It's too much like me, Can'er." He said.

Just like Suixin is too much like her, Can'er is like him like reincarnation.

The first time he saw Chan'a, in a hospital bed. Kong Yuanxuan, who accompanied him, said, look at Can'er, you can't admit it if you want to.

It's him when he was a child, and he even has a somewhat weak temperament. He seemed to be looking at the yellowed, brittle photograph of himself coming to life.

Kong Yuanxuan took someone to guard the door of the ward, saying that Xiao Shi was too tired, he always had nosebleeds in the past few days, and he was forced to go to the doctor by Flawless and Unsullied, and he would not come back in two hours. He also said that he didn't know if Xiao Shi could really become a good doctor, why he couldn't take care of his body well.

Kong Yuanxuan is a delicate person, but he has never been used to doing this kind of mother-in-law's thing.

He's not used to it, and he's not used to sneaking around. Still sneaking to see his son. Although, for him, this is a son who "does not exist".

He came closer, for fear of scaring Can'er, so he made some noises so that he could find himself.

Chan'er glanced back at him—he seemed a little disappointed, but not surprised—and continued to play with his fingers......

Can'er doesn't recognize life at all.

He sat on the edge of the bed and watched him play. Can'er has had enough of her fingers and plays with his.

For a two-year-old baby, Can'er's appearance is not unusual from the outside, and he is even the most intelligent and beautiful...... He never dreamed that he would really have such a son.

He distinctly remembered that she had knocked the child out, and he had clearly seen the surgical order. He later investigated the hospital and the doctors, and although he was sure that she was ruthless, he still hoped that she was not so ruthless. She really wasn't that ruthless. It was a long time before the doctor told him that it was an accident. When she arrived at the clinic, it was late...... But for a while he would always dream of a cute baby smiling at him...... He thought it was because he felt so unwilling that he confused dreams and reality. Such a small baby, he has only hugged his heart.

However, when he saw Can'er, he still felt like he was dreaming. It turned out that the child I saw in the dream was Can'er.

This is his son, and it is hers. It was one of the precious children she thought about parting with but ended up staying. He didn't know exactly what that meant, but at least she kept him, giving him a glimmer of hope.

“Daddy。” Can'er's translucent little mouth screamed at him.

He looked at Can'er as if he was stunned.

He knew that Chan'er should be unconscious. Can'er had never met him, and she couldn't have shown her pictures of him or taught him, but he called him Daddy accurately...... It was his son, a son who couldn't admit it even if he didn't want to.

He called him "Can'er" softly, and Can'er looked at him with eyes very similar to his, and did not respond, but called "Daddy" again. He picked Can'er up.

Can'er was a little heavier than it looked, but still lighter.

He hugged Can'er and couldn't help but compare. At his age, his heart is much heavier than him...... His heart, a fat and healthy baby girl, has always been, despite leaving her mother early......

Kong Yuanxuan urged him to go. He had already seen Jingyi get out of the car from the window, and of course there was still some way to go. She is flawless and unsullied around her. Flawless was unaware, but Innocent glanced at the window. He knew he had to leave. He didn't go far, and watched her enter the hospital room at the end of the hallway...... She's incredibly thin. Thinner than when he was around.

He could still remember the well-proportioned way she had been a girl, with a little baby fat.

I can also remember the plump, delicate and beautiful when she was pregnant with her heart...... When she was by his side, she had at least a brief period of comfort and happiness. It was his only consolation.

He stayed there for a week, going to see Can'er every day.

Wujian said that Can'er shouted Daddy at Jingyi one day, which scared Jingyi a lot.

He was a little glad that Can'er couldn't pass the word yet, but he also had some hope that Can'er could pass the word...... He didn't show up. I always thought that maybe the next time she appeared, Chan'er would be a healthy child.

I can't help but go home, because there is another war.

When her telegram came, it was initially withheld.

He was in the hospital at that time. He almost lost his life, but fortunately he only lost his hearing in one ear and got a little sequelae.

"The telegram was held for a month. I asked Yuanxuan, and he told me that he was no longer there. His voice was like a well, "I've been to see you." I've also been to see Can'a. That cemetery was quiet. He's a quiet kid and should like it. ”

"Tao Xiang!" Jingyi stood up.

Her body was shaking violently.

"You weren't very sick at the time. When I go to see you, you don't recognize me. Tao Xiang said, lighting a cigarette.

She called him Chan'er in a coma......

"Tao Xiang, you bastard! Vile! Jingyi almost pounced and grabbed his shirt. She choked up, "You...... All the nonsense I just said was to force me to tell the truth......"

"I don't force you to tell the truth, and I'm afraid I won't say it myself. You lied to me for three whole years, three years after that. I thought that in another three years, you might not be willing to come back and talk to me. Tao Xiang didn't move, looking at her red eyes.

He calmly waited for her to continue to get angry and even go crazy, but she didn't.

She let go and looked at him blankly.

"When I looked at you, I thought about waiting for you to wake up and tell you that I was coming." Tao Xiang said.

But in the end he didn't do that.

He watched as she was immersed in pain, as she was in agony...... Can'er's departure may be something that makes them all grief to the extreme, but Can'er's departure is also an end.

She could finally be completely separated from him. There was no trace of him beside her.

He thought that someone as strong as her would definitely stand up again. She had her ideals, her ambitions, and the people who stayed by her side—he had seen that delicate and elegant man, with a good demeanor...... Innocent said that she was a very good pathologist, and among the many people who pursued her, this one was the best and most suitable.

Chinese, from a wealthy family, the most important thing is to put her first in everything. And he's probably never going to be able to do that. As she said, what she needs, he can't give.

There was no detailed introduction about the man, but in his opinion, it did look like someone she would like. It is indeed like a person who can bring her a comfortable and prosperous life.

Soon after, I heard that they were engaged...... Later, she proved his judgment and recovered quickly from the loss of her child.

Perhaps she was using a more special way to resist the grief encroaching too much on her soul and body.

She was always a woman who knew what she had to do.

For her, he could have been reassured.

On the contrary, he was depressed for a period of time after returning to China......

Tao Xiang looked at Jingyi and stood up.

Jingyi looked at him—his posture was still so upright, and in this hall as bright as day, he just stood in front of her, as if it were an insurmountable barrier...... She looked at him intently and whispered, "Can you ...... Give me back...... I miss her so much. ”

Her eyes filled with tears.

She said, Tao Xiang, I have a lot of things that I can't do with you...... But when I left you, I didn't expect to be so passive with my own hands. I've had enough of punishment over the years, and now I'm back, just because I want to be a baby. I think of her, when I am dreaming, when I am awake, as long as there is a gap in my heart, I will be filled with her shadow...... For so many years, I didn't even dare to inquire about her.

Tao Xiang was silent, lit a cigarette, and said, "It's late, I'll have someone send you back." ”

He bent over and rang the bell, letting Lu Sihai send Jingyi back as usual.

The tears in Jingyi's eyes finally fell.

Tao Xiang waited for her to leave before coming out of the house.

The unique cold of winter in Shanghai always made him a little uncomfortable. But at this time, he was a little comfortable, as if the river that had been silted up for a long time had been washed open by the flood...... He walked on the boulevard, following his path and humming a military song softly.

The lights flashed in the distance, and soon the sound of the car was heard.

"Uncle!" Leaning out of the car window and calling him was his nephew Fu Yanlang. As soon as the car stopped, Yan Lang held the steering wheel and said something with a smile into the car. As soon as the car door opened, my heart jumped down and called out to my father.

He nodded.

Then came his mother Hu Shi and eldest sister Tao Er'an, who smiled when they saw him pick up Suixin.

He heard the eldest sister ask him why he had the leisure to go out for a walk, and he smiled a little deeply, and said, "Whose car was that just now?" ”

"The silhouette is a woman, but it's not Meizhen's car, who is that?" Mrs. Tao asked.

Tao Xiang looked at Suixin and said, "A very important guest." ”

Then, under the surprised eyes of his mother and eldest sister, he left with his heart in his arms.

……

It was almost midnight when Cheng Jingyi returned home, and the housekeeper and Aunt Li were still waiting for her.

She didn't have the strength to say a word to them, and went upstairs, and without taking off her gown, she shrank down to the bed covered in diamonds. The night passed in darkness and darkness, and she slept soundly. When she opened her eyes and saw a glass of milk resting on the head of the bed, she muttered to herself, "...... I don't want to drink ......."

There was no echo, and she was startled for a while.

The milk is already cold, presumably Aunt Li put it on the bedside for her last night to sleep well.

She went to take a cold shower before she was fully conscious.

All the words I said to Tao Xiang last night seemed to be engraved in my heart. The traces of the knife and the blood are still there...... She faced him heavily armed and armoured, and it turned out to be her again, almost crushed.

Tao Xiang asked her to send her back, and before leaving, he said that he had no intention of changing Suixin's life.

Suixin has been a treasure in the palm of almost everyone in the Tao family over the years. The last days of the old grandmother and aunt were very happy and peaceful because of the company of this child. For that he should thank her. Although it was painful to give up, she left her heart to the Tao family after all. Suixin, who is favored in the Tao family, is very good, so she doesn't have to worry.

No intention to change the life of the heart...... Jingyi's body soaked in cold water was as cold as ice.

His life is about to change, and he has no intention of changing his life......

Jingyi pulled a towel and wrapped herself.

She still has to go to work today, and she has to pick herself up.

Before leaving the house, they had already received two phone calls in episode 61, and the secretaries of Ping Yongan and Fu Jiajun relayed the meaning of their respective bosses and asked her when she would have time to talk about donating to Tzu Chi – the hard work of many days of sleepless work has finally paid off. She couldn't help but clench her fists while being relieved. Even though I know that there is only more work to be done, I am still a little excited.

She saw the flower baskets in the living room, full of white roses.

Aunt Li said that Mr. Mei sent it.

She thought about it, except for Mei Jikang, no one next to Mr. Mei would be so polite.

She drew the card placed on the flower basket and opened it when she got into the car.

Mei Jikang's handwriting is as delicate and chic as his own. He wrote a card, in addition to thanking her for last night's hospitality, and also asked her to have dinner with him. She held the card and was stunned for a moment before closing it and putting it in her handbag...... When she arrived at the hospital, she deliberately got out of the car at the gate. Someone greeted her almost every step she took. She never thought that this "Dean Cheng morning" was so good, and she only loved to hear people call her "Dr. Cheng" in the past. She looked at the office building halfway through the fog, and never felt that Tzu Chi was so majestic, as if it stood in the east and would never fall.

Anita Mui stood at the door of the office, smiling like a flower.

It seems that he is in a good mood, too.

Sure enough, Anita Mui hung up her coat for her and reported to her at the same time. Jingyi sat down and listened, it turned out that in addition to the two people who contacted her, there were also two tycoons who directly sent people to deliver checks, plus the ones who informed her that they were going to allocate funds to the bank account of the Tzu Chi Operation Fund.

——————————————

Ten months of joy and sorrow, thank you all, it has always been there.