The unmarried princess dies young, and the movement is destined not to be too big, and it is also said that if it is too grand, it will hinder the child's longevity in the next life. It is very simple to do the funeral of the weed, and in the middle of summer, referring to the precedent of the concubine of the Confucian Temple, from death to burial, that is, seven days. -- Because the emperor was in the prime of his youth, the site of his mausoleum had just begun to be selected, and the location had not yet been determined, so the concubine could only be buried in Jinshan temporarily, and whether he would be buried near the imperial mausoleum in the future depended on the emperor's thoughts.

In addition to the biological parents, although the rest of the people are a little sad, but they can't say that they are sad, the weeds are frail and sickly, they rarely go out, and the relationship with their sisters and brothers is not very deep. The Queen Mother hadn't even seen this child for a few years, and when she heard the news, she sighed that she was not blessed, and after eating vegetarian for a few days, there was basically no follow-up expression. Anyway, if she doesn't grow up to be a child, the death of the herb will indeed not affect her life. As for the queen, because she was still nominally recuperating, that is, she sent Luo Concubine over to pay respects, and she herself did not go to Xianyang Palace to express anything. A few years ago, when she was still in power, she did have a hot time with Concubine Hui, it seems that now with the death of the weeds and her own fall from grace, Concubine Hui is now dispensable in the heart of the queen.

It's just that He Xianxian, who usually likes to care about these little things, doesn't pay attention to these details at all now, she rarely even asks about the funeral of the hermage, and she never fights for her: because of the young man's premature death, many procedures in the funeral have to be simplified, Xu Xun also thinks that why Xianxian will accompany her daughter to the funeral, including whether someone is crying and so on, the monk palace bureau has a dispute. Unexpectedly, she accepted all the arrangements very calmly, and even the mourning hall of the weeds rarely went to ...... According to the etiquette, she didn't have to go over too much, and the vigilance was all a junior's business.

It is also because of this, the young and young weeds, although there is a mourning hall, but most of the guards are her former nurses and subordinates, Xu Xun took a little bit and Zhuang'er to worship a few times, the two adoptive mothers are very worried, because the child is young, afraid of seeing something, every time he comes back from the mourning hall, Yong'an Palace has to have a toss, and it is across the brazier, and it is a water mirror, I am afraid that I will bring something back from the mourning hall, which will harm the children. - Although Xu Xun herself didn't think so, the two children were bored in the mourning hall, they didn't have much affection for the grass at all, and they didn't know what 'death' was, and she didn't want to get angry with the children for such an unforced thing, so there was no point in bringing them over. As a result, when I went to Zuihou, the one who most often went to worship in front of the weeds was Ah Huang.

Seven days later, the same as the concubine of the Confucian Temple, was sent to Zhaoling to stop the spirit, and a small tomb was built for her on the head of Jinshan, Zhao Lun went to check it, although the scale in the princess's tomb is not large, but the feng shui is good, at least according to him, Xu Xun also relayed it to He Xianxian as it was.

"I can finally sleep peacefully." He Xianxian said a word, "In the years before she left, every time the season changed, she couldn't sleep with a cough, and the little child coughed like shrimp in bed, which was really distressing to see." ”

When she said these words, her tone was like talking about other people's affairs, Xu Xun listened, her heart was tense for a while, and she said in a low voice, "Don't think about it so much...... Alas, I don't know what to advise you, but you should also take care of yourself, don't grieve too much, but fall into the root of the disease, how can you comfort the soul of the weed in the sky? ”

The two of them came today, is to send the portrait and spiritual seat of the weeds to the south to be placed, in the past Taisun Palace that row of side palaces, now has become a memorial hall in the palace. A few years ago, not long after the emperor slapped Xu Xun, I don't know what he was thinking, so he suddenly ordered that the group of concubines who were martyred for Emperor Wen and Emperor Zhao should be set up tablets, and they would be enshrined in the side palace to bear the incense of everyone. There are also the emperor's own brothers and sisters who died young, and they also got a place, these people may not be worthy of enjoying the temple because of their status, but they can enjoy a small place here for relatives to express their sorrows.

Xu Xun himself came to worship a few times, and after the death of the concubine of the Confucian Temple, he also invited her tablet over, and Concubine Jing came to mourn the incense every month - but now, the concubine opened a new palace room, after all, there are different generations, and it is not good to put her and the elders together, besides, in the room of the same generation as the emperor, there is also a place for his women.

After letting go of the tablet and putting on the incense, Xu Xun did not mean to return to the palace immediately, but forcibly dragged He Xianxian to take a walk in the shade, just to persuade her to let go of some things, not to be depressed, but to sit down and get sick. But He Xianxian's reaction was very bland, and the most worrying thing was that from beginning to end, she didn't even grieve much, as if her soul was gone, leaving only a shell, doing what she had to do like a walking corpse.

"Why don't you say something...... Immortals. The more Xu Xun said, the more worried he became, "I said I was dry......"

"I don't know what to say," He Xianxian finally spoke, she said softly, "I really don't know what to say......"

She suddenly smiled - this smile is a real laugh, not a bitter smile, a ridicule, a miserable laugh, but a relaxed laugh, "Actually, I don't feel much sadness in my heart when the wee is gone, really, I know what you all think, don't I know in my heart, the weed can't be raised, either this year, or next year, I know better than anyone else, I watched her weaken." After changing to the doctor, she can get better after taking medicine, you are happy in your heart, and I am happy in my heart, but I am different from you, you are happy that she is better, and I am happy that she can sleep well for a few months before she leaves. ”

Xu Xun was speechless by her words, the white-haired person sent the black-haired person, it is the deepest pain in the world, she doesn't know any words to comfort, but He Xianxian's current state makes her even more worried-since the death of the weed, she has not seen her cry.

"Then you should be even more ...... It's time to let go," she followed He Xianxian's words, "she finally doesn't have to suffer anymore...... Alas, Xianxian, cry out if you're sad, it's better to cry, seeing you holding it like this, I'm really afraid of you ......"

"I didn't hold back," He Xianxian shook his head and said, "I just feel relaxed, I can finally accept my fate, Xiao Xun." ”

She turned her head, looked at Xu Xun with her faint pupils, and said kindly, "Look, what do I have to feel uncomfortable with?" Before she went, I was afraid that she would go every day, and after she went, what else did I have to be afraid of? I'm a concubine, how long do I live, the palace eats and drinks, how long I eat and drink, those relatives of our family, the court can't let them starve, I just live like this, I live until the day I die, I don't care how I die, whether I die of illness or death, martyrdom of my eldest brother, it doesn't matter, I was originally a girl from a civilian family, but now I am one of the most noble women in the world, I live like this, I don't have to worry about eating and drinking, I think I live a very good life, don't you say? ”

Xu Xunman's heart was just uncomfortable, she shook her head and said, "Immortal - don't say that!" ”

"I really think so." He Xianxian pulled Xu Xun to sit down, "When I first entered the palace, I felt uncomfortable, I was very afraid, I was afraid that my eldest brother would not like me, I was afraid that Concubine Taisun would be difficult to get along with, and Concubine Taisun secretly stumbled on me, I was afraid of so many things, and I didn't have a happy day at that time." Later, I got seriously ill, and when I was sick, I was still afraid, I was so uncomfortable, but the prescription prescribed by the doctor had no effect at all, no one cared about me, no one cared about me, my grandson, my grandson, my grandson's concubine, my princess...... None of these people I should respect the most came to see me and asked me for a doctor, and I was afraid that I would die like that. Later, God is pitiful, you still think about me, you interceded with me in front of your grandson, I really feel good in my heart Xiexie you, Xiao Xun, this palace is like ice and snow, but you have always been very warm. ”

"I'm sick and I'm back, I'm still scared, I'm afraid I'll be sick again, I'm afraid I'll not be able to sleep anymore, I'm afraid I'll fall out of favor before I get favored. But what am I most afraid of, you know? He Xianxian's tone was a little nostalgic, and she said in a low voice, "I am sometimes afraid that I will not be able to repay you - I know that you don't expect me to repay you, but if I don't want to repay your kindness, what fun will I have in living such a life?" The emperor's temper is so bad, our status is so low, the eldest brother doesn't favor me, what the grandson concubine and the grandson concubine are all the same hateful, even the eldest brother is ......"

She curled her lips and smiled coldly, and whispered almost ventingly, "I've never liked him, he's dark and strong, he doesn't look good, and he's pretentious, and it's not as comfortable to do that thing with him as well as Mr. Kaku!" ”

Xu Xun's surprise was not trivial, she reflexively looked around - fortunately, knowing that the two of them were going to talk about their hearts, the surrounding servants had retreated far away, and no one should be able to hear He Xianxian's rebellious attack.

"Immortal ......," she said speechlessly.

"I've been pretending since I was with him," He Xianxian looked at his toes and smiled, "I think he also knows a little bit about me pretending, so he hasn't liked me too much, but that's okay, and soon I'll have a...... Alas, at that time I was also afraid, and I was afraid that she was not a boy, and I was afraid that she was a boy, I had always lived a good life and suffered from gains and losses, and sometimes when I opened my eyes, I would wonder that I was still panting, and if I could just go to sleep like that and never wake up, it would be the best. But then I had a weed......"

Her smile gradually expanded, revealing a little self-deprecation, "Not long after having a weed, I was even more afraid, I hated that weeping weishenme was a boy, and weishenme couldn't let me be the prince's biological mother...... Hey, at that time, who would have thought that there was such a thing as Concubine Luo, I thought, Hu is a chicken that can't lay eggs, if I give birth to a son, then I don't have to be buried. My relationship with her is not good, and even if I try to please her now, she may not see through it...... Is there any way I can not be buried? There's no way, I can't help it at all. I fell out of favor after giving birth to a weed, do you think I could not be afraid at that time? I've seen my head like this all my life, no pet, no son, just live like this, and there's no one around you who you like...... There is not even a person who can barely endure it, either stupid or poisonous, or else he is so high-minded, very cold and arrogant, and will always look down on people. I can't even believe the grandmother who entered the palace with me, they are all stupid people who have not achieved enough things and have more than enough failures, so lonely and lonely to live like this, I don't know how long I will live, either die of illness or strangulation, old age? It's impossible to die of old age. Hehe, this road is so doomed, I have to go down like this - I'm so scared, I know the end, I know that there is no hope, but I still can't help but struggle. I kept wondering, am I destined to be left behind, what can I bring to the grave with all these things I have? Nothing, nothing is mine, not even those gold and silver jewelry have to be given to others...... I'm not happy to be alive, no one remembers when I'm dead, why am I so insignificant, I'm really scared sometimes, Xiao Xun, I feel like I'm like a gust of wind, and when it blows, there's nothing left, there's no trace of me left in the world, this is my life. ”

"If it weren't for the weed, I really wouldn't have survived, and I didn't want to repay you at that time, I knew you didn't need it, even if you were in trouble, I wouldn't be able to save you...... At that time, I was thinking about the weed, the weeds are a little trace I left in the world, I would rather live for another ten years, give her all my yang longevity, let her live, and watch my bloodline pass down," He Xianxian's tone was a little lower after all, "Not only because I am her mother, do you understand?" And because this is the only little chance I have, zuihou a little bit, bring out the weeds, I still won a little after all, fell out of favor, I can't change it, martyrdom, I can't change it, but with the weeds, I won't have nothing when I leave, and fifty or a hundred years later, there will still be people in this world who will miss me and think about me......"

She smiled and said lightly, "But how can people fight with their lives? When I was sick, I lived in such intense pain every day, and now looking back, I have done a lot of stupid things, and the palace concubines who live under me are indeed not easy, and I feel uncomfortable, so I toss them. I'm uncomfortable, not just because she's uncomfortable, Xiao Xun, watching my daughter suffer, I feel uncomfortable, what's even more uncomfortable, you know? She was burdened by my life, I was born with nothing to be left behind, I was destined to be like this, I was selected to come in, live a lifetime, and go like this again...... This is my life, I don't accept it, I want to change it, but it runs over every day, the most painful thing is this, you are run over by it little by little, you are crushed by it, you know it clearly, but you can't do anything about it...... Every day you get to know your incompetence all over again, but you can't give up...... She is my daughter, I can't watch her die, I have to save her even if there is even the slightest hope, I have to hope that every sip of medicine she drinks will work, I have to hope that she will get better, I can't help but do it, she is my daughter...... She's a little better, I can't help but be happy in my heart, I can't help but hold a little humble hope, I hope she can get better, I hope she can live in this world, this damn thief God just makes me happy again and again, makes me spark a little in my heart, and then she coughs again, she has a fever again, I understand again, all this is destined haode, this is my life......"

"I have lived in this world for ten years, and I have been sick for eight years, and I have to go back and forth every month in the winter and spring, and I don't know how many times I have been teased like this. By the end of the day I was so tired that if it weren't for my daughter, I would have given up - if I had been to be favored, to live, even if I had been to the back of the throne, if that was all I wanted, I would have given up hope, and no matter how much it teased me, I would never have the slightest thought of winning. But that's my daughter, I can't give up," He Xianxian said repeatedly, "I've always thought, I've always hoped, even if I don't believe it, I still can't help but hope, I hope that the wee can live, I can have a little hope to win the thief God, and overturn the fate that I have scheduled...... If the victim can keep the wech alive, if it is to compete for favor, or even if it is to kill someone, I will do it—give me a little bit of what I can do, no matter how dirty or despicable, I will do it! But it just wants me to know that I have no way, I can only be toyed with by it, hehe, I can't even think about it in my heart, I can't hope for a little, God wants me to know, what am I, I don't deserve to fight with it at all, it wants me to walk cleanly, leave no traces, live alone, no fun, then I have to live like this, I have to obey its orders......"

She turned to Xu Xun, there was no emotion in the black and angry pupils, sad and happy, in front of the two small black holes, she was absorbed equally, she said, "So the wee is gone, I am actually relieved in my heart, it finally doesn't toss me, I can finally admit defeat...... It wants me to live like this, I live like this, I accept my fate, and I honestly, I'm still grateful to God. At least it didn't toss me more, didn't arrange more ordeal for me......"

She smiled heavily, "And the weeds can rest in peace, you see, isn't it quite haode now?" I'm really not sad, the weeds are stable, I'm stable, and I'm stable in the future. Didn't I tell you everything, I have nothing to be dissatisfied with, I can see the end of my life, how reassuring this is, count the days and go down, one day I can come to the end. ”

Xu Xun looked at her eyes, and couldn't help but shudder a little, she couldn't find any words to comfort He Xianxian, so she could only answer instinctively and mechanically, "Yes...... Someday it will come to an end. ”

Over the years since she entered the palace, she has also experienced the ghost of people's hearts, she has dealt with many people, many of whom do not make her happy, sanctimonious, mercenary, stupid and snobbish, indifferent and stubborn...... The human heart is sinister, Xu Xun has already seen a lot, but she has never felt such a deep discomfort as at this moment.

In any case, these disgusting emotions are still some vitality after all, and those people still have some pursuits and expectations for themselves...... They're still alive.