Chapter 235: Northern Expedition
"Brother, you're bullying me again." An Yang shook Lin Nan's arm with a disdainful look, Lin Nan pouted and said, "Okay, go and see, where is that Dongying baby?" ”|“ It's in my brother's newly built Phoenix Terrace. "Anyang can't be separated, pull him up, and leave.
Phoenix Terrace is also a palace courtyard, but the scenery inside is more pleasant and beautiful. An Yang pulled Lin Nan into the courtyard gate and walked forward along the corridor. After passing through arches and pillars, in each arch, there are almost the same small courtyards of the type, which are the residences of third-class beauties.
At the end of the corridor was a towering white wall, and there was a large door underneath, two thick wooden door panels, ten feet high, almost looking up, such a huge piece of wood was actually transported from the Great Food Country.
As soon as you step out of this gate, you will find a very large square. The ground is paved with white marble, shining brightly, and at a glance, it makes people feel small. The white clouds in the distance, like light yarn, seem to float overhead. In the center of the square, a jade nude beauty statue is placed every dozens of zhang, divided into three rows, three in each row, a total of nine, and placed in a regular manner.
At the end of the square, a stone bridge, only two piers, rises horizontally, one end is set up in the square, stretches straight and obliquely forward, leads straight to the three-storey four-corner building in the center of the lake, such as the dragon wading into the sky, the momentum is arrogant. There is a thin sound of water, under the sun, the whole bridge exudes colorful colors, such as a rainbow in the sky, falling into the world, gorgeous and colorful, beautiful and beautiful.
The two stepped on the bridge and slowly entered the small building, and the two imperial guards outside the door of the building saw Lin Nan, and they hurriedly nodded to the ground on one knee and saluted according to the knife. "Baby, it's on the first floor!" An Yang said as he pulled Lin Nan in.
As soon as the two of them entered the door, they saw seven or eight concubines such as Sa Rongrong, Thrush, and Yuzhi. When the girls saw Lin Nan at first glance, they hurriedly bowed and said, "Your Majesty." "Well, get up." After Lin Nan finished speaking, he raised his eyes and saw a little girl standing behind the women, and her figure was about to be one meter six. He wears a typical Toei hair ornament, his head is flush, the back of his head is tied up, and there are long sideburns hanging on each side, and he is wearing a pink and red kimono. The flower ornament on the kimono seems to be cherry blossoms. Wearing clogs on his feet. She put her hands in front of her, her head was so deep that she couldn't see her face clearly.
"Brother, this is the baby sent by Dongying." An Yang smiled like a flower. It can be seen that I like this little sister very much. "Come and meet the emperor." Zhang Lihua pulled her over, but the girl looked very shy, still lowered her head, bowed and said, "Toyotomi Michiko has seen His Majesty the Emperor of the Heavenly Empire." "Do you speak the Celestial Empire?" Lin Nan was dumbfounded, and An Yang smiled: "How else to say it's a baby." Lin Nanen sighed and asked, "It seems that you have also studied the culture of the Celestial Empire?" Toyotomi Michiko replied respectfully, "Yes." I began to learn the writing and language and customs of the Celestial Empire at the age of six. ”
"Oh? So how old are you now? After Lin Nan asked, she still lowered her head and replied respectfully, "Fourteen." "Your Majesty, the envoys of Dongying are here to ...... Feng What kind of girl can sing and dance, and she is better at ......" Sa Rongrong said that she couldn't go on, her face was swollen and red, Lin Nan saw her like this, and asked puzzledly: "What are you better at?" Sa Rongrong still couldn't speak, and Yuzhi said, "I'm better at the art of merry." She said. The women were both laughing and ashamed, but Lin Nan had already guessed that they were eight or nine away from ten.
He reached out and grabbed Toyotomi Michiko's sharp, smooth and delicate chin, and then gently pressed her to lift her face and look at him in avoidance. I saw her pink, smooth and charming face. A pair of beautiful eyes are transparent and deep. The soft curved eyebrows are lighter near the eyebrows, but the back is black and thick, and under a pair of bright eyes is a greasy nose and a pointed chin. His face was as white and greasy as his back. Smooth and crystalline, a cherry mouth is dexterous and upright, the lips are very thin, and she is really a beauty.
"Well, it's a baby." Lin Nan pinched her little face. An Yang leaned over and smiled: "I'll just say it's a baby, Dongying Xiaoguo really put a lot of effort into pleasing his brother." Lin Nan sighed and said to Toyotomi Michiko: "What did Emperor Dongying ask you to bring when he sent you?" Hearing her ask, Toyotomi Michiko shook her head and said, "His Majesty the Emperor didn't say anything, but just told me to dress His Majesty the Emperor of the Celestial Dynasty well to become a state of two countries." ”
"It's all nonsense, the main thing is to tell me to open the country to him, right?" After Lin Nan finished speaking coldly, Toyotomi Michiko immediately nodded and said, "The Emperor of the Heavenly Empire is really like a god. Lin Nan Ha said with a smile: "It's not that I am like a god, it's that your emperor's head is like a pig." Toyotomi Michiko didn't dare to go back, so she could only bow her head and be silent, Anyang saw her pitiful appearance, shook Lin Nan's arm and said, "Brother, you can accept this treasure and fulfill the emperor." ”
Lin Nan pinched her little face and said, "As long as your goblin is good-hearted, forget it, it is rare to win the emperor's filial piety, so I will accept this gift." Zhang Lihua listened and hurriedly poked Toyotomi Michiko and reminded in a low voice: "You still don't thank Xie Xie, Your Majesty." Only then did she understand, and bowed again: "Thank you very much to His Majesty the Emperor of the Celestial Empire." ”
Lin Nan nodded and said, "I read your name awkwardly, so I'll call it Michiko in the future." Toyotomi Michiko hurriedly agreed: "Yes." Lin Nan ignored her anymore, looked at Sa Rongrong and the girls and said, "You arrange a palace for her to live in first, I am too lazy to arrange." The girls answered, An Yang blinked his eyes and tilted his head and asked, "Brother won't be a groom tonight?" Lin Nan put his ear to her and said, "I'll go to your place tonight." ”
An Yang was ashamed, and also bit his earlobe and whispered, "Then I'll wait for you." "Yes." Lin Nan pinched her little face, and then an insider ran in and whispered: "Your Majesty, Shangshu's left servant shot Lord Li Jing and said that there is something important to be saged." When Lin Nan heard this, he frowned and ordered: "Oh, you tell him to wait in the Hongwen Palace, and I will be there soon." "Yes." The inner eunuch turned around, and Lin Nan said to Anyang: "You play with them, I have important things to do." "Brother Emperor, just go." An Yang smiled sweetly.
The internal supervisor took Li Jing to the Hongwen Hall in the north of Phoenix Terrace, Lin Nan then rushed over, Li Jing got up and saluted, Lin Nan took his hand and asked cordially: "The pharmacist is so anxious to find me, what is the important matter of coming." Li Jing immediately took out a letter from his bosom and handed it to Lin Nandao: "The Rouran tribe of Xianbei, a descendant of Donghu in the north, unified the eight tribes of Liaodong into the Khitan tribe, and the Khitan Khan King Yuanzhi was arrogant and rude, refused to pay tribute, and even united the Turkic tribes, which seemed to have the intention of invading the south. ”
"Is there such a thing?" Lin Nan took the letter and quickly skimmed through it, and snorted, "It seems that I want to teach him a lesson." He didn't know how powerful the Heavenly Empire was. Li Jing nodded and said, "Yes, Your Majesty, if you connive at it, then all the departments of the Zhou Kingdom are afraid that they will have different intentions." Lin Nan nodded and said, "Well, tomorrow I will have a meeting with the hundred officials." ”
……
Anyang ordered someone to dress up Yinghui Courtyard in a beaming manner, just waiting for Lin Nan to arrive. Time passed minute by minute. An Yang was a little anxious to wait, so he asked the palace maid next to him, "When is it?" "The palace maid and she are all acquainted. Zhilu said that this lady had the best to speak, so he teased her: "Don't worry, Niangniang, it won't take long for Lord Banzai to arrive." "You little girl." An Yang glared at him with a smile, and then suddenly heard a report outside: "Long live the Lord is coming to Yinghui Courtyard." ”
"Ahh An Yang hurriedly ran out. Seeing Lin Nanda striding into the courtyard gate, he ran over directly without saluting. "Brother, why did you come?" Looking at An Yang's smiling appearance, Lin Nan also smiled and said, "Then do you say that state affairs are important or housing affairs are important?" An Yang pouted, glanced at him delicately, and said in a low voice: "What kind of affair, the king of a country doesn't know how to be ashamed." ”
"Yes, yes, yes. Then tomorrow I will call you the female emperor, and I will be the male concubine? The two of them said that they had entered the palace, and An Yang's eyes were everywhere, and all the palace maids and inner eunuchs were out of the house. I'm not going to be an emperor, and I'm dizzy when I see so many twists and turns. An Yang said as he pressed Lin Nan and sat down on the round bench and hung his shoulders.
Lin Nan took her hand and kissed it, and then took her delicate body into her arms and said with a smile: "Really, you won't do it to your emperor, so what else do you want?" An Yang shyly said: "I don't want anything, just want you." ”
Lin Nan saw her cute and serious appearance. couldn't help but be horny, kissed her on the cheek and said, "Cute man, you say you're so cute and greasy?" When Anyang heard this, his heart was sweet, and his body softened with shame. Jiao Sheng said angrily: "How does my brother look like a child." Lin Nan didn't reply to him, and a pair of hands attacked her crisp breasts and buttocks respectively, Anyang was both ashamed and happy, and was moved by him. Jiao panted and said softly: "My brother is good or bad." ”
Lin Nan was full of evil fire from her, and picked her up and walked to the tassel tent. Anyang was both looking forward and afraid. Buried his head in her arms, a row of little white teeth clenched.
In the tassel tent, the spring red and willow green concubine clothes and a few golden dragon robes were thrown out first, followed by the middle coat, small clothes, and obscene pants......
After the last shackles, the tassel tent is slowly tightened.
……
Early the next morning......
"All the ministers enter the court!"
A sharp and long summons voice of the eunuchs, the civil officials were on the left, the military generals were on the right, and a total of more than 100 civil and military ministers in the two lines crossed the threshold and entered the palace in turn. After the two sides were neatly established, Lin Nan walked out of the apse door, shook the hem of the dragon robe, and walked up the steps to the dragon court.
"Hooray, hooray, hooray!"
Baiguan Mountain called for worship, and Lin Nan swept his sleeves with a smile. "The Qing's family is flat."
"Long live thanks!"
The hundred officials stood up in a neat manner, and Lin Nan said loudly: "Yesterday, the border gate was on the table, saying that the Khitan Department of Liaodong united with the Turks, which seemed to have the intention of invading the south. I intend to raise troops to fight, what do you think? As soon as his voice fell, Hou Junji, the first person on the right, stepped forward and said: "What the emperor said is extremely true, now that my Great Sui Country is rich and strong, everyone in the country knows it, and I can tolerate the Khitan and the Hulu generation." ”
After Hou Junji finished speaking, Lin Nan sighed, and at this time, the civil official Ma Shumou also made his debut: "What Liang Gong said is extremely true, the Khitan Khan King Yuanzhi is strong and self-reliant, refusing to accept the year, if he is not treated early, I am afraid that all the states will not accept it, and they will all have different hearts." ”
Lin Nan nodded again, and then Zhou Xing suddenly took a step out of the right formation and said, "The minister thinks it can't be." "Oh?" Lin Nan wanted to deal with Zhou Xing very early, but he didn't make progress and was extremely cautious, so he had been an official in the court. This time, when I heard that she had objections, I was even more displeased, and asked coldly: "Why don't you say it?" ”
Zhou Xinglang said: "The Khitan small department, there are no more than 10,000 soldiers and horses, if there is no Turkic support, forgive him and dare not compete with my Great Sui." If the army is on an expedition, the Turks will inevitably raise troops to help, and the Turks are strong and strong, with 300,000 iron horses, and if there is a slight difference, the country will be shaken. ”
"Lord Zhou's words are conclusive, I'm afraid that the Turks didn't give you any benefits, right?" Murong Lian said and said: "Your Majesty, the art of war: ten sieges and five attacks, the enemy can fight." Today, my Great Sui has a million armor and thousands of good generals, and it is time to open up a vast territory. Don't say that the Khitan has Turkic help, even if the Turkic Khan King and Chuluo are close, what can they do? ”
This is a clear exaggeration. Empty talk misleads the country and has no substance. Although the words are beautiful, Lin Nan still has a mirror in his heart, so naturally it is impossible to get carried away because of his words. But Zhou Xing's ideas are too conservative, so neither of these opinions is advisable.
Lin Nan thought of this. looked at His Highness Li Jing. I saw that he wanted to speak and stopped, and his eyes slanted to Hou Junji. Lin Nan comprehended, brushed his sleeves and said: "Today's matter is still allowed to be discussed again, and the ministers will retire from the court for the time being." Liang Gong, Li Jing, the two of you follow me to the south study. The hundred officials said goodbye, and Li Jing and the two hurriedly rushed to the south study.
When the three of them met, the two of them saluted first, Lin Nan smiled and patted Hou Junji and said, "Junji." What are your thoughts on today's events? Hou Junji arched his hand and said: "General Mo is a martial artist, and he doesn't know any reason, but if General Mo is asked to lead his troops to fight a small Khitan, he will be victorious in less than half a month." ”
"Junji is really fast." Lin Nan looked at Li Jing again and said, "What do you think, pharmacist?" Li Jing didn't think much about it and said: "Murong Lian's words will inevitably be slippery and exaggerated. However, Zhou Xing was too cautious, so the minister thought that the suggestions of the two were advisable. ”
"It's still the pharmacist who has insight, and I thought of it together. The Turks have been nomadic on the steppe since the Han Dynasty and have endured for a long time. He has repeatedly stepped on the Central Plains. Although my Great Sui is strong now, the new Turkic Han Chuluo is not an idle person, and he still has 300,000 Turkic iron horsemen under his command, if the two countries intersect, the victory or defeat is unpredictable. Lin Nan finished speaking. Li Jing nodded and said: "This year, there is a great drought in the whole Turkic territory, and most of the cattle, sheep and horses have been lost. His Majesty is known as Shenwu. It is time to make a decision early and exterminate the Khitan by surprise first. Then he will raise a large army to settle in Dingxiang and fight with the Turks. ”
Lin Nan was so arrogant by what he said, he immediately clapped his head and said: "I have made up my mind, and I will take the stage to swear in three days and personally lead the three armies to the Northern Expedition." The two of them heard that Lin Nan was going to drive the expedition in person, and hurriedly bowed and said: "Your Majesty is the king of a country, how can you go to danger." ”
"Erqing has to persuade him again, and I have made up my mind." Lin Nan is now grinding his fists and palms, eager to try, the two glanced at each other, and saw that he insisted on going, and there was no way.
The next morning, Lin Nan announced this matter, and immediately Wei Zheng and a group of civil and military ministers objected.
In the autumn of the fifth year of Huanglong, Yang Yu, the emperor of the Great Sui, bowed to his ancestors, took the stage to swear an oath, personally commanded the 100,000 Ma Bu army, and brought the military generals Wenchen Hou Junji, Gao Dehong, Qin Yi, Li Jing, Yang Lin, Han Baohu, and dozens of other members, and went north to Tongzhou. Wei Zheng and Xu Shiji were left in the court as the chief and deputy supervisors, and national affairs were generally handled by Wei Zheng, and Xu Shiji's role was to monitor Wei Zheng. Although everyone knew that Wei Zheng was a loyal minister, Lin Nan also had to be on guard.
On the day of the expedition, all the concubines said goodbye one by one, Anyang, Sa Rongrong, and Zhu Guier all cherished the parting words with tears in their eyes. Lin Nantie is heartfelt, a man should be ambitious in all directions, how can he be nostalgic for the gentle countryside.
Tongzhou is not a strategic place, but he is the Sui Dynasty county closest to the Khitan in the east, so Lin Nancai will be stationed here.
On October 7, Lin Nan arrived in Tongzhou with a large army. The next day, Lin Nan personally supervised the three armies to march back to the Babu Department, and the Khan Tuoba Shi was still watching the song and dance in the tent.
Lin Nan shot at the corner, and the 100,000 troops lined up, the flags fluttering, and the murderous spirit was soaring. Hou Junji is a horse, holding a green dragon knife, wearing a Xuanwu armor, waving his shoulders in cyan, his beautiful temples rise in the wind, and he is arrogant. Pointing at Tuoba Shi and snorting coldly: "He will listen, I am the Marquis of Liang in the south of Dasui Town, Junji, and now my Heavenly Dynasty Emperor personally led a million troops to the north to attack the Khitan, and those who know each other quickly raise the crowd to surrender, otherwise the heavenly soldiers will be everywhere, and you will not be left with a piece of armor." ”
Lin Nan was under the command of the Chinese army, and when he heard Hou Junji's words, he only felt that his blood was surging, and he was arrogant. I can only be a little sorry that I can't kill the enemy in front of the army.
Tuoba Shi was already frightened when he saw such a long queue formation of the Sui army, and when he heard Hou Junji say that there were millions of people and horses, his face turned green with fright, and his hand holding the scimitar trembled a little. At this time, his eldest son Tuoba Hui suddenly rushed out of the battle with a knife and slapped his horse, and said sharply: "Sui Gou, listen to me, I can only be a hero who dies in battle, and there is no coward who surrenders!" The one who is not afraid of death will come up. ”
Tuoba Shi saw that his son rushed out, and it was too late to shout again. Here, Hou Junji snorted coldly and said, "Milky boy, I just took your dog's head sacrifice flag today." After speaking, he shouted loudly and urged Dawanma to rush away. The two generals raised their swords at the same time, one long and one short, and the soldiers of the two armies shouted and cheered.
The two crossed horses for a round, and Tuoba returned to the weapon and suffered a loss. The arm was numb from the vibration, and the palm of the hand trembled. After two more turns, there was no knife technique at all, Hou Junji saw the situation and mentioned the big knife, and knocked the scimitar in his hand out of the air. Tuoba back was shocked. The boss with two eyeballs. Seeing Hou Junji slash horizontally, he slashed from his left shoulder, straight out of the right lower oblique rib, and his entire body was suddenly cut in two.
"Ahh Tuoba Stone was shocked and sad. Almost fell off the horse, and the rest of the tribes saw Hou Jun gather his sword and fall, like a ghost, extremely terrifying. Looking at the Sui army again, the Sui army is full of wilderness, which one still has the fighting spirit?
"Kill!" Lin Nan saw an opportunity not to be missed. Under an order, the Sui army was overwhelming, Tuoba Shi still carried a knife and hacked a few Sui soldiers to death, and the rest of the three thousand tribes either abandoned their weapons and surrendered, or were killed by the rebel army, the whole battle only lasted for more than an hour, and the Hui Babu Department had lost all of them, and the only hundreds of miles of grassland fell into the hands of the Sui army.
Lin Nanduan sat in the big tent of the Chinese army, and Hou Junji gathered. The generals of Qin Yi entered the account one after another, and Li Jing got up and reported: "Under His Majesty, the Huiba Khan Tuoba Shi and his three sons all died in the chaos, most of the 3,000 people of the tribe were killed and wounded, and more than 800 people were captured. More than 40,000 men and women and the territory and pastures are under the control of our army. ”
Lin Nan sighed, and then ordered: "Behead these more than 800 people and the 40,000 people on the spot, and if there are not enough people, they can also be killed." Then wear the ministries and report if the crowd surrenders. I, the Great Sui, must have committed no crimes in the autumn, and I also gave money and food; If you are stubbornly resistant. When my army is everywhere, there will be no armor left. ”
"Huh?" The generals were taken aback, and Qin Yi asked in a lost voice: "Your Majesty, even if the captives should be killed, why are there no innocent people left in this group of innocent people?" ”
Lin Nan snorted and said: "Our army is in the northern expedition to the Khitan, and there are still seven or eight large and small tribes in front, if each tribe has to fight, then our army will not only increase casualties, but also slow progress." If we wait for the Turkic army to come to our aid, then we will be attacked on our backs, and I am afraid that it will be dangerous at that time. Kill these people now to warn the other tribes, this is the end of resistance, I will see who dares to resist! ”
"This ......" The generals glanced at each other, and although this method sounded reasonable, it was too dehumanizing.
In the end, Gao Dehong first promised to go down and order, and the generals had to grit their teeth and go down. The 100,000-strong army slaughtered more than 40,000 people, and most of them were killed in pits, and the process can be imagined. It took more than three hours for Gao Dehong to run into the tent and report excitedly: "The thieves have all been executed." "The people in the tent were all terrified when they heard this, although they were all brave men who killed people without blinking an eye on the battlefield, but they really couldn't do this when they were really allowed to carry out bloody slaughter.
Lin Nan put down the military book very casually, and said with a sigh: "None of them are panting?" Gao Dehong was covered in blood, his eyes were red, and he looked more terrifying than a demon. When he heard Lin Nan ask, he smiled and said, "Your Majesty, don't worry, there is absolutely no one who is panting." ”
"Okay, you did a good job, you and Junji have two credits in this battle." Lin Nan stood up with a smile: "Okay, all the soldiers are tired, today is a day off." ”
……
At noon the next day, until the time when Lin Nan's army set off from the village, the entire Hui tribe had disappeared forever on the stage of history.
The Sui army opened the way with cavalry, and the infantry followed closely in formation, and followed the Huibu to the north towards the Xuanyuan Division. The Xuanyuan Khan ruled Bali and had already heard the news that the Sui army had slaughtered the Hui tribe. Asked Tanma to report that the Sui army was rushing over, and quickly found four sons and several tribal elders to discuss: "Hundreds of thousands of Sui troops have been killed, should we surrender or resist?" ”
His eldest son, Tuba, was a ghost who was afraid of death, and hurriedly said: "The letter from the Sui army is clear, as long as we surrender, he will keep us safe and sound, and he will also give money and food. There are only 5,000 warriors in our Xuanyuan Department in total, even if you count all the old and young men and women, there are only 70,000 or 80,000 people, how can you resist the hundreds of thousands of Sui troops? Father Khan, don't think about it, surrender quickly! ”
As soon as his words fell, an elder next to him said sharply: "Can you avoid death by surrendering?" The Han people are the most cunning and treacherous, how can they keep their promises. It's better to do it with real knives and guns, it's worth it to die. ”
"Yes, them!" A few people who were not afraid of death shouted.
"Father Khan, you can't listen to them, they want to destroy my Xuanyuan Division!" Tubat grabbed Barry's arm and wept bitterly. At this time, the warriors of two tribes ran in, and said breathlessly: "Kehan, the Sui army will immediately kill our tribe, and the entire grassland is full of Sui troops, and the marching army can't see the end at all!" ”
"Ah?!!!h As soon as he heard this, the slightest thought of resistance in his heart was gone, and he ordered: "Quickly send someone to the emperor of the Sui Dynasty to offer a surrender table, saying that our Xuanyuan Department is willing to submit." "Don't work for others, I'll go myself." After Tuba finished speaking, he ran out of the tent, got on a fast horse and ran towards the Sui army.
In fact, the Sui army could have attacked, but Lin Nan expected that they would definitely surrender, so he deliberately slowed down the team.
Tuba arrived quickly, and was immediately brought by the Sui army to meet the king. As soon as he saw Lin Nan, he covered his chest and bowed, "Tuba represents his father, the Khan of the Xuanyuan Tribe, and he came to offer the surrender table. Lin Nan Ha Lu Ha smiled, stepped forward and pulled him quite kindly and said: "Your father really understands the righteousness, rest assured, I will definitely keep my promise." Tuba thanked him again and again, and Lin Nan announced that he was warmly entertained, and then asked him to go back.
Lin Nan ordered the generals to return to the camp to announce that Xuanyuan Buqiu should not be committed, and the soldiers who violated the offence would be executed immediately on the spot, without mercy.
Although the soldiers of the Sui army did not understand why they had changed their tactics again, they thought that Lin Nan had slaughtered the entire tribe because of the resistance of one tribe, and if he disobeyed his will, he was afraid that it would not end well. With this idea, although the Sui army still had the intention of killing people and stealing goods the day before yesterday, no one dared to defy the law.
When the people surrendered, they still had concerns, but they didn't expect that the Sui army would really have no crimes when they arrived, and they also left a lot of food and silver. Lin Nan inquired more cordially about the drought situation of their tribe and the situation of the tribe, so that Zhili Bari really couldn't connect Lin Nan with the demon who killed people without blinking.
With the example of Zhili Bali, the rest of the tribes still have the courage to resist, as Lin Nan expected, the Sui army passed through the eight tribes all the way without blood, and all of them did not commit any crimes during this period, and they also left a good reputation. (The tribe that doesn't have a good reputation is extinct) but most of the generals really can't praise Lin Nan, because his strategy is really not clever, and if you want to give a definition, it is ---despicable! If you add another adjective before meanness, it would be ---cruel meanness!"