I loved him desperately, and I fell in love with you in a daze

I thought I showed up just in time for you and her to say separate.

I thought you didn't expect anything from her anymore and didn't allow her to hurt you again.

……

I thought that my gentleness could give you the whole universe

I thought I could do my best to fill the gap in your relationship

Concentrate on being by your side and make up for her mistakes

Maybe I was naïve enough to think that a miracle would happen

……

When I heard this song, it was the spring of the second year after my divorce from the widow, and he called me to tell me that they had met and decided to start over.

I blessed their love lightly, cut off the phone lightly, and went back to the conference room to continue the meeting.

One of the high-level participants in the meeting was a Chinese woman, whose mobile phone rang so abruptly in the quiet conference room, lingering in everyone's ears.

It turns out that you have already figured out who you are going to stay with

I thought I was strong enough, but I lost so desperately

Give me less hope, and hope is not an extravagant hope

……

When the bell rang, the entire room looked at me with a look of astonishment.

I saw a face full of tears in Hanghang's worried eyes.

And themselves, unaware.

……

When my parents didn't agree with her marrying him, I didn't cry, and I didn't cry after seven years of respectful married life, even if I took the initiative to mention the divorce two years ago, I only cried once, and there have been no tears since then.

It's been two years since I was divorced, so why am I crying!

He finally found the happiness he wanted, and I should bless him, shouldn't I!

It's just that he's happy, and I, who is supporting these two big families alone, how can I be good.

There was a party that night, whether I could go or not, I still went, and I was inevitably teased and drunk by that group of men.

I was already the most powerful, richest, and youngest woman in France, and naturally some men were afraid of me, and some men wanted to get close to me with bad intentions.

Before nine o'clock, I was already drunk, and I still have this amount of alcohol, but today I don't know what happened, so I was drunk.

I came out of the bathroom, fell into a person's arms, looked up and saw a familiar face, as if it was my ex-husband, but the voice in my ear was not.

The voice was like Hang Hang, "You're drunk, I'll send you back." ”

It didn't seem to be him who was driving, because I kept leaning on his arms, and I couldn't even stand on my feet, so I was half-hugged by him and got into the car.

Dizziness, unwarranted grievances and depression in my heart, I am not a woman who can't afford to lose, nor a woman who can't let go, just looking at his happiness, without his own share, my heart will still be uncomfortable.

I spent seven years not only not warming his heart, but cooling my own heart, and tempering myself from a princess loved by my parents to a strong woman that everyone fears, but who knows that I am just a woman who loves to be strong after all.

I recklessly let him go, and I recklessly supported everyone's business alone, and who would know that I would also be tired, feel bitter, and want to have a support.

Sometimes I will hypocritically think about why the person I love can't love me, give me a safe haven, and only let me be a good wife and mother, instead of playing tricks with these men in the mall.

That night, I cried uncontrollably in his arms, as if I wanted to cry out to him all the grievances and sorrows of the past ten years.

……

The next day, I woke up not at my own home, but at Hanghang's house.

My eyes hurt a lot, and my clothes were still yesterday's clothes, but they were already dirty and unsightly, and there was nothing neat to speak of.

Hang Hang was holding a glass of freshly squeezed juice, and the moment he saw him, everything that happened last night flashed in his mind; I felt embarrassed, embarrassed and at a loss.

In a panic, he wanted to escape, but when he walked to the door, he grabbed his wrist.

"Let go!" I turned my back to him and didn't even dare to turn my head back, it was too embarrassing. I mistook him for a widow and said something I shouldn't have said.

If you really talk too much after drinking, you will lose if you talk too much.

He held my hand tightly and didn't speak.

"Whatever I said last night, please forget!" I spoke out with difficulty, and those past were like dust in the sun, rolling fiercely, and scenes came to my heart, and my heart was painful.

"If you want to cry, my chest will always lean on you, you want to say, my ears will always listen for you, you don't want me to remember, I will forget."

His voice came from behind him in a low voice, and his breath was particularly close, "I just hope you don't hold on to everything, sometimes a woman should be like a woman, don't live like a man, it's too tired." ”

I looked back at him, catching a vague fluctuation in his eyes, what was it?

Distressed, or pitiful?

Shaking off his hand, his voice trembled and pierced, "What qualifications do you have to say these things to me?" Why do you look at me with sympathy, how did I, Jane Lanstelo, need sympathy for charity! What if Jian Yao is an IVF? After all, he is the child of me and the widow, even if the widow doesn't love me? He and I have been married for seven years, and I was his wife...... I've had him for seven years, and I'm ......"

I couldn't go on, and choked up inexplicably.

Seven years of marriage, no love and no sex, I have never experienced male and female love, but I am already a mother.

In order to overthrow the Red Lady overwhelmingly, Widow and I must have a child, a child with my and his blood flowing through it; But he couldn't, and he didn't react to me.

To be precise, he couldn't face any woman except her.

We've tried a lot of things, blindfolded, drunk, etc., but it didn't work. He couldn't rely on drugs, it was a humiliation to him, and even more to me.

In the end, there was really no way, he said forget it, it's okay to have no children, just have to wait two more years.

But I didn't want to wait, I didn't want to give up.

I am his wife, I want to have children for him, I want to be a woman, a mother; In desperation, I proposed IVF!

At first he disagreed, saying: This is too unfair to you! Too wronged you!

I'm so stubborn, I'm not afraid of grievances, I'm not afraid of suffering, I'm just afraid that from the beginning to the end of this marriage, I have nothing.

Maybe from the moment I started trading a ten-year marriage, I knew that I was destined not to get this man's heart in this life, and I couldn't keep him, so at least I would leave something about him for me.

Eventually, he relented and agreed.

I asked my mother to try to invite Lady Red out of the country for a while, and to give me and the widow to do it.

When Madame Red returned, there was the fact that I was pregnant.

In the eyes of the widow, Jian Yao's appearance may just be to bring down the Red Lady; For me, this is the best and most precious gift he has ever given me.

If it weren't for Jian Yao, how could I let him go willingly!

It's just that seven years of nominal marriage, after all, is a disease in my heart, if people know that the Count has never touched me, giving birth to Jian Yao, but I am still a woman who has never experienced love, I will be the laughing stock of people all over France and even the world.

His eyes deepened, and he reached out and grabbed my shoulder with a lot of force, and I broke free and didn't want to lose my posture in front of him, but last night and now, I made a big joke in his eyes.

"How could I possibly sympathize with you?" His voice was inexplicably harsh, and there were many things in his eyes that I couldn't understand, "How can I sympathize with you......"

Before he could finish speaking, he hugged me tightly.

The tears are blurred, the pain in my heart gradually fades because of the passage of time, on the contrary, as the wound becomes bigger and bigger, more and more empty, I suffer all night, only when I see Jian Yao, I can experience the precious happiness.

He didn't say anything, I was hugged tightly by him, and all that was left in the quiet space was shallow breathing and the sound of his heartbeat......

In the sound of his blazing heartbeat, I seemed to realize something, but I couldn't believe it.

Because I never thought about it, and I didn't dare to think about it.

-- He has feelings for me.

==================== the dividing line of the last recommendation vote ====================

After that day, we tacitly agreed that nothing happened, that we would work and live as usual; It was only the occasional unintentional collision of eyes that made me panic, for fear that he would say something to me at any time, something that I could not respond to, and I was afraid that I felt that something was wrong and made a self-inflicted amorous situation.

I have known him for many years, and I regard him as a brother, and I regard him as a brother.

He is a good helper at work, because he stayed in Paris to help, many things can be solved smoothly, and he is also a good friend in life, which is very good to me and Jian Yao.

I didn't think about what I would have with him, except for the widow and Jian Yao in my heart, I couldn't let go of anyone and anything anymore; Fear of changing the status quo, fear of something that shouldn't happen, makes our relationship mysterious.

In addition to the tacit understanding at work, I no longer dare to rely on him in life, and I use more assistants trained by myself.

Many times he looked at me with a complex and obscure light, and I pretended not to know, and lived in a confused way.

Life is long, and it is better to be confused than to live soberly.

Jian Yao is young, but smart and sensitive, and he is aware of the subtle changes between me and him; actually asked Hang Hang in front of me: Uncle Hang, did you quarrel with my mother? Don't know let let my mom? What else can I do after this ......"

I hurriedly covered Jian Yao's mouth, and when I saw Hang Hang's stunned look for a few seconds, I was embarrassed and scolded Jian Yao for the first time.

Jian Yao was naturally unhappy, and ran upstairs sullenly, leaving me and him alone, and the atmosphere was even more embarrassing.

I don't know how Jian Yao could have known, he was still so young; I don't know how to explain it to him.

As someone else, I can talk openly and honestly, but because of him, I don't know what kind of attitude or tone to use to mention this matter.

"That's why you've been dodging me all this time?" He was the first to break the silence.

"Tong Yan is unscrupulous, Jian Yao is talking nonsense......"

"Jian Yao is not talking nonsense." He interrupted me, and I was stunned for a few seconds, and when I looked up and saw his gloomy expression, I felt inexplicably sad.

He said: "I know you, Sima Zhao's heart is known to everyone, Jian Yao can see it at such a young age, but you haven't reacted for many years, and that's right, the person you love is an earl, how can you see me." Now that you have noticed it, I don't want to deny it, so I might as well tell it calmly. ”

He said: "You don't have to feel bothered, I know that I am not worthy of you, and I have never had the luxury of having a chance to start with you; The biggest wish in this life is just to guard your mother and son and not let people bully. If I cause you trouble, I can transfer to another branch, and there is no need to not meet ......"

I know to you, Sima Zhao's heart is known to everyone, and even Jian Yao can see it, but I have been confused for so many years, and I don't even notice it.

I thought he stayed in Paris to protect the Louis family for the widow and Jian Yao for the widow; I never thought that the biggest reason he stayed was me.

He said a lot that day, but my mind was completely blank, I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know when he left.

When I came back to my senses, I dialed the phone number of the widow, and regardless of the time difference, as soon as I opened my mouth, I asked angrily: "Did you already know......

I was stunned for a long time, and I probably realized what I was talking about, and said "En".

I was even more annoyed, and couldn't help but raise the decibels: "Louis Widow, are you going too far?" What do you mean? What do you think of me......"

I know his heart, but I still keep him by my side, what do you want!

Before I could finish speaking, I was interrupted by Louis Ying's deep voice: "Jane, he is my companion, but he is also my brother; And you are the mother of my children, even if there is no love in seven years of marriage, you are already a relative; Whether it's him or you, I want you to be happy. What's more, he has his freedom and choice, to stay in Paris, is his choice, I respect. ”

I'm speechless.

The widow is right, he has his freedom and choice, the widow can't interfere, and I have no right to interfere.

Why should I be angry with the widow, it is better to blame the widow than to blame his own dullness, I haven't noticed his heart for so many years, but even if I do, what can I do?

In my heart, there is no him after all.

On the phone, the widow asked me whether it was his feelings for him that I couldn't let go, or the years and years that I couldn't let go of those years and years who paid for him.

I didn't have an answer, I panicked for a while, and hurriedly cut off the phone.

……

Since that day, he has really been transferred to the branch, and since then, I have withdrawn from my life, my life, there is no need not to meet, and I don't even need to talk on the phone; Everything, his assistant contacted my assistant.

He didn't appear in front of my eyes, but I found that he was by my side all the time, because I could think of him very lightly.

My assistant is loyal and capable, but compared to him, he is not tactful enough in handling things, and he is not calm and calm enough in trouble. I used to have a lot of care in my life, but now without him, no one has prepared anything carefully for me, and there are no nutritious biscuits in my bag that can cushion my stomach when I am hungry; I worked late at night, and no one reminded me to remember to call Jian Yao; It's cold, and no one has a warm coat for me at all times.

Every now and then, I unexpectedly think of "how nice it would be to have him by my side!" Picking up the phone, I wanted to dial his phone, but I was afraid that I would not be able to respond to his feelings, so I put down the phone.

That's how the days go on, and it's a year in the blink of an eye.

At the year-end company's annual meeting, he did not attend on the grounds that he was not feeling well; I was alone in front of the staggered light and light, perfunctory greetings, and I felt lonely standing in the crowd.

In the noisy crowd, I don't know who talked about him, and my ears couldn't help but listen to the conversation.

said that there was a female manager in his branch who fell in love with him at first sight, and he had been stalking for a long time, and he had been very close recently, and the two of them did not come today, so I am afraid that they have lived a world of two people together.

Listening to these words in my ears and putting them in my heart, I don't know what it feels like.

should breathe a sigh of relief and bless him, or if he is entangled in his relationship for many years, he really says let it go, how can he be so free and easy.

Before the banquet was over, I made an excuse to leave, leaving so many people behind, and I just wanted to stay alone and be quiet.

At the annual meeting at Christmas, I thought that I couldn't accompany Jian Yao, so I didn't let Ying Yao go on this trip, and let Jian Yao go to Xixun, and he also wanted to see Sijun.

The maid was on vacation, and I was left alone, guarding the huge villa, guarding the loneliness of this house, lingering.

That night I was alone from the wine cellar and collapsed on the couch drunk*.

Thinking of the past, thinking of the present, my heart is sad, I want a home, I want a shoulder, I want Jian Yao to grow up quickly, so that I can retreat, a woman supporting these, too tired.

It turned out that I was not as strong as I thought.

When the maid came back the next day, he found me drunk on the couch unconscious, frightened, and rushed me to the hospital.

After two days in a coma in the hospital, his parents came and went, and came and went; The media chased after me and insisted on pressing my drunkenness to the point where I had not yet come out of the shadow of divorce.

Ying Widow called to care, I was a little sorry, and asked him to hide this matter from Jian Yao, don't let him go back to Paris for the time being, and wait for a calm down!

Before cutting off the phone, Ying Widow sighed on the phone: Why do you torture yourself like this, and torture him.

I sneered in my heart, how could I torture myself, torture him, people are now tossing and turning in the gentle township, how have I ever been tortured!

The alcohol was not dispersed, and they didn't realize how sour their tone was.

After sleeping for a long time, I woke up and saw the outline of my eyes, a pair of deep eyes full of worry and I couldn't understand the love, he said, "Why don't you take good care of yourself? ”

I replied lightly: "I have been living according to the rules, and I want to mess around, but I forget that I am old." ”

He looked at me for a long time with complicated eyes, and was silent.

I subconsciously glanced at his fingers, the nails were trimmed round and neat, Bai Xiruyu's fingers did not have any jewelry, and they looked much thinner than a year ago.

If you say I don't take good care of myself, that person doesn't take care of you either!

"When to do a happy event, even if I don't have anyone, the check will arrive."

He frowned and asked, "What happy event?" ”

I didn't say a word, and he thought that if he didn't tell me about such a thing, I wouldn't know?

After a while, he seemed to think of something, cleared his throat, and explained: "But some crazy words, why take it seriously. ”

I don't know where the anger comes from, and my words are yin and yang weird: "The wind comes out of nowhere, and it may not be without a cause." ”

He seemed to be irritated by me, and glared at me, "I know that I am not worthy of you, and I don't have any extravagant thoughts, why should you be aggressive!" ”

Unprovoked anger spread in his chest, burning a source of fire, "You try to despise yourself like this?!" ”

A year ago he despised himself so much, and a year later he is still like this, he knows that in the bottom of my heart, I have always respected him, and this kind of self-indulgence is uncomfortable.

He was stunned, afraid that he didn't expect me to be angry about such a thing, his tight jaw slowly loosened, and his voice softened a lot, "Don't be angry, you hurt your body; I don't say it! ”

I took a deep breath, swept my eyes to the kettle next to me, and pursed my dry lips: "I'm thirsty." ”

He carefully helped me to do it, poured water for me, and had needles in his hands, afraid of touching them, so he deliberately held a cup to feed me water.

After drinking a glass of water, he asked, "Do you want more?" ”

I shook my head.

He put down the cup, sat on the edge of the * and was silent for a long time, and said hesitantly: "I...... Can I stay with you and take care of your mother and son? ”

My heart panted and I looked at him, "I never drove you away." ”

His dim eyes lit up as he looked at me and smiled faintly.

====================== the dividing line of the young master's request for recommendation votes ======================

There was no commitment, no beginning, he just stayed in Paris and never left again.

Life went on as before, as before.

Jian Yao came back and looked happy to see him, he once said to me: Mom, Dad has an Aunt Lan, and you also need to have Uncle Hang so that you can be happy and live a good life!

I don't know how he understands the five words "live a good life" at his age, but I can feel that he is growing up day by day, becoming sensible day by day, and occasionally stubbornly making trouble, but it is all in moderation.

He didn't dislike Hang Hang, and he was very acceptable, I thought about whether the widow said something in front of him, thinking about it, it's not likely, the widow's character is not so much of a person!

As for the matter between me and him, whether it is as anyone expects, he is still the same him, I am still the same me, even if there is a little more heart, whether there is any emotion in it, I don't know!

The two of them got closer, worked together, met occasionally during holidays, or accompanied Jian Yao to participate in school activities together; Caught by some media and exaggerated, the company began to have some rumors.

Some people scolded me for being unwilling to be lonely, some people scolded him for wanting to use women to get on the throne, and there were all kinds of ugly words, he may not have heard it, or he may have heard it, after all, even I have heard it.

He remained indifferent and went about his job as usual.

Once, I couldn't help but ask him, "Aren't you angry?" ”

He was stunned for a few seconds, reacted, and laughed: "What's so angry? They are not me, where do they understand me! It's not worth it to be angry with people who don't understand me. ”

I stared at him for a long time, this man has an incomparably fierce face of the enemy, but has such an open-minded attitude in the face of life, what kind of wisdom and mind does he have!

Seeing that I had nothing to say, he turned to leave.

A question that has always been hidden in my heart, at this moment, I can't help but blurt out: "Love me, aren't you afraid?" ”

Those gossips, those terrible words, are enough to kill people invisibly.

His back was facing me, his back was obviously stiff, and he turned to look at me after a while, his eyes were full of sunshine, "I'm just afraid that you're not doing well." ”

I'm just afraid that you're not doing well, but a simple word has broken all the defenses in my heart, and no one has ever said such a thing to me in so many years.

What they saw was that I had the wealth and supreme power of the country, and they never thought that I would be happy or happy.

Only this man in front of me, he was worried that I was not doing well.

After experiencing a failed love and a failed marriage, I don't know if I still have the ability to love others.

I got up and walked in front of him, mustered up all my courage, and took the initiative to speak: "Hang Hang, love is courage, being loved is a blessing, I used to have the courage to love, now I selfishly want to be a blessed woman, are you willing to make me a blessed woman?" ”

He was stunned for a long time, and when he came back to his senses, his eyes were red, and he hugged me suddenly, as if he wanted to hold me into his body, "This is my blessing!" ”

The hands hanging by his side hesitated for a long time, and slowly hugged his waist, as if embracing a piece of sunshine.

I'm not young anymore, my heart has been wandering for too long, too tired, and I really want to settle down; I can't tell whether I am dependent on this man or habitual, or a little affectionate, I just know that I want to stay by his side, not going anywhere, no one looking at him anymore, my eyes are tired, just look at him.

Our start was uneventful, as usual, and we said goodbye to Jian Yao.

He was calmer than we expected, in addition to saying that he wanted Hang Hang to treat me well, and asked again, when will he give birth to a sister!

It seems that it was because Sijun mentioned that the widow wanted a sister, but Lan Mufei didn't want to ask for it anymore, Jian Yao heard this, and also wanted a sister, and the three of them stalked Lan Mufei to death, but they didn't coax their sister, and Jian Yao hit me and Hang Hang with the idea of wanting a sister.

even said that in order not to hinder me from falling in love with Hanghang, I would go to Xixun to live for a year and a half.

I know that he wants to go over to play, and no one cares about him, so naturally he will not fulfill his wish. Jian Yao cast his eyes on Hang Hang, who pretended not to see it.

Jian Yao sighed helplessly: Both fathers are qi (wife) tubes, why are my brothers and I so miserable......

Hang Hang and I were speechless and looked at each other.

======================= the dividing line of the young master's recommendation ticket ==========================

The widow called me and accidentally mentioned Hanghang, and he asked about our wedding date, but I couldn't answer. Thinking about our business, Hangzhou Airlines will not hide the widows.

It's just that I don't understand what the call meant.

I have been with Hanghang for a year and three months, and I have gotten along very well, plain like water, and more than warm, but I have never mentioned the topic of marriage.

Is it that he wants to get through the mouth of the widow and know if I am willing to marry him?

Even if I have had a failed marriage, I don't have any shadow about the marriage, especially if the object is still him, let alone him.

It's just that I don't know what he's thinking.

After all the rain that night, he hugged me and slept with him, and I told him what the widow had mentioned on the phone.

He was stunned for a long time, and refused to speak.

At present, the heart is inexplicably cold, although it is said that two people are really the best together, marriage is not so important; Especially those who grew up in France are even more disdainful of that piece of waste paper.

But marriage is the biggest promise a man can give a woman, has he never thought of giving me such a promise?

I lifted the quilt, picked up the clothes on the ground, and put them on one by one, my heart trembled inexplicably, like being in an ice cave.

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Xinkeng: "Love is as deep as melting, you have to be good president!" "Epilogue: "The President's Wealthy Ex-Wife"