"What am I doing?" Cheng Yan smiled bitterly and reddened, "He is the initiator, what can I do?" I just lost my brother because of him, and now I want to lose you! ”

At this time, Jiang Zhou was extremely calm, although she frowned, guessing that Cheng Yan must have known something, but she still said calmly: "Go into the house." ”

Jiang Zhou took out the key, the lock didn't know what was wrong, and it turned for a long time, until the sensor lights in the corridor were extinguished, and the door was opened.

Entering the house, Ji An leaned against the wall, wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth with his hand, and said nothing.

"Cheng Yan, what do you say, let's spread it out today and explain it clearly." Jiang Zhou naturally noticed Ji An's state and said with a cold face.

She had a hunch in her heart.

Although he had always been forbearing, he had never dared to look her in the eye as he did now.

Cheng Yan stepped over in two steps and one step, pinched Jiang Zhou's shoulder, and his expression was intense: "Jade, do you remember the ind who killed Cheng Que miserably?" ”

He hadn't called her English name in a long time.

To be exact, he only shouted twice.

Once at the first meeting, and once, at the mother's funeral.

She seemed to understand what he meant.

Jiang Zhou glanced at Cheng Yan deeply: "I remember." ”

She and Cheng Que were addicted to IND at the time. Cheng Que committed suicide directly by hallucinating.

Fluttering with the wind, gone with the wind.

"He," Cheng Yan stared at Ji An, who was silent, his eyes split, "He was one of the developers of IND back then!" ”

"Without IND, Chengque would not have died, you would not have suffered so many sins in the future, and your aunt would not have left! Nothing that tragically happens happens! ”

Miserable everything?

Jiang Zhou thought quickly in his mind.

It was probably because her mother was angry to death, her father swore that he would never see her again, Cheng Que committed suicide, she was forced to detoxify, life is worse than death, and then she suffered from mental weakness, and she studied every day, hoping to become a doctor from scratch.

She turned her head to look at Ji An, his figure was buried in the light and shadow, her head was lowered, and her expression couldn't be seen clearly.

"I only learned about these after I asked Fang Wei! You should know what the relationship between Fang Wei and him and the Zhou family is! ”

He believed what Cheng Yan said, and he also believed what Ji An said.

These two men will not lie to him.

They are the two most important men besides his father.

One helps her to be reborn, and the other allows her to regain love.

"No, you're wrong." Jiang Zhou once again looked at Cheng Yan's angry and sad eyes, "I believe everything you said. However, without IND, there will be other things, which are essentially the same as Herion, Cacaine, Hemp, in fact. It's not the thing itself that matters, it's just a fuse. ”

And the person who lit the fuse was Cheng Que, and it was she Jiang Zhou who added fuel to the fire.

The person leaning against the wall instantly looked up at her.

"Jade......" Cheng Yan looked at her in disbelief.

It's about Cheng Que, how could she help Ji An exonerate?

She's obviously the Jade who was desperate for Cheng Que at the beginning.

"At that time, I loved him very much, and to this day, he is still in a place in my heart. However, after so many years, I became more and more sensible, and I began to reflect. ”

"I'm not Jade anymore, I'm Jiang Zhou."

"Love is blind, and I was the same at that time, except for Cheng Que, I couldn't pretend to be anyone else in my eyes, and even did some extreme things that hurt others. In my eyes, everything is good and everything is right, but it is wrong to look at the past with my current thoughts. ”

"Hopelessly wrong, so am I. There is nothing wrong with loving Him, but what is wrong is aiding and abetting and indulging our evil. ”

"So, it's not IND that's what happened after that. It's me and Cheng Que. We are the ones who started it. ”

From beginning to end, it was only the two of them who were at fault.

But Jiang Zhou blamed herself even more, if she had stopped it at that time, maybe not so many things would have happened.

All kinds of things in the past are just cocooned and self-bound.

"Okay." Cheng Yan clenched his fists.

"Okay." He said it again and left without looking back.

What should he say?

He had nothing to say.

Encountering the past, he called her Jade.

Because he knew that Jade was deeply in love with Chengque.

But she is Jiang Zhou now.

Jiang Zhou loves Ji An.

He alone became Yan without him.

can only be like a deserter who has lost a battle, throwing away his armor and fleeing in the wilderness.

……

That night in Shanghai, it was extremely cold.

The French plane trees on Hengshan Road are still there, but they are no longer the French plane trees of the year.

Cars come and go, the river is endless, and the dazzling lights can't open people's eyes.

It makes people's eyes hurt.

There is the roar of sports cars, the sweet smiles of girls, the talk of grandfathers, and the rustle of leaves......

But he couldn't hear anything.

"Hello, I'm Jade, you can also call me Jiang Zhou."

…

Once upon a time, he thought he had lost to Cheng Que.

Later, he thought he had lost to Ji An.

Now, I found out that I had lost to Jiang Zhou.

Jiang Zhou, Jiang Zhou, why bother to have that shocking glance at you who were snuggled in your brother's arms at that drinking party many years ago?

Why bother to become the Jiang family's family doctor, just to see you more?

Why do I need to accompany you through every difficult moment, looking at you in pain, my heart is also bleeding?

Why drag your tired body, stay up late with you to study, teach you all kinds of methods and knowledge, watch you enter a prestigious school, be reborn in Nirvana, and then fly away from your side?

Why plant a seed named "Jiang Zhou" in your heart, secretly water and fertilize her every day, and hope that one day, she will blossom and bear fruit for herself?

He regretted it.

He thought his love was the best love in the world, secret and great.

Save her when she is at her most down, and then accompany her through the thorns along the way, grow up with her, support her dreams, and respect all her decisions.

Even when she said that she wanted to leave him and go to Yishan, he agreed.

Because it's her dream.

What did he think at the time?

He already had a plan, and when he successfully handed over all the work at hand, he would go to Yishan and propose to her.

In the second half of her life, it is good to live with her in Yishan.

Those fame and fortune, don't want it, compared to her, what is the value and significance?

When the weather is clear, I walk with her every night by the terraces.

When the rain fell on the green hills, the two were in a small building, cutting the west window and talking about Bashan.

Cheng Que's love for her has always been naïve, rash, reckless and shallow.

And his love for her has always been mature, inclusive, meticulous and profound.

However, the future he had planned was nothing more than his own wishful thinking.

Dream bubbles, bursting at the touch of a button.

He really regretted it.

What a gentleman to be? What kind of good person to be?

Bullshit!

He should cut off her wings so hard that she will be a nightingale singing for him for the rest of her life.

The bloodied nightingale that plunged its body into the thorns of the rose.

How many years she has loved Cheng Que, and how many years he has loved her.

……

"Why are you hiding it from me?" Jiang Zhou walked up to Ji An.

He was silent for a moment: "I also think I'm the initiator. ”

So he didn't dare to say.

"Did you experience that explosion as well?" She asked a different question and didn't follow up on the previous question.

"It was Zhou Qiguang who rescued me." Ji An replied.

At that time, many people had begun to kill each other in a delirium, and the sober Zhou Qiguang pushed him out and locked the door.

"It wasn't explosions that killed people. Rather, drinking water mixed with hallucinogens, they began to hallucinate and kill each other. By chance, Zhou Qiguang and I didn't drink water. As soon as he pushed me out, he was slashed by other delirious brothers. ”

"I watched as blood splattered inside, spilling through the crack in the door. At that time, the IND thing had already exploded, and everyone thought that they would smoke IND together, which would cause hellish results on earth. Later, in order to cover up the truth, it was directly disguised as an explosion caused by improper operation. ”

It turns out that this is the truth eight years ago.

At the end of Ji An's speech, the whole person stiffened, and his voice trembled.

Jiang Zhou's eyes widened, and she felt as if her eyes had been opened to the extreme.

The sourness filled her eyes, and even as she tried to hold back, even if she looked up, tears flowed uncontrollably.

Ji An, how much pain and torture did he bear?

"I'm going to give them justice." Ji An said.

The one who survives is the one who suffers the most.

Carrying eleven human lives.

Walk forward with sins and live for good.

……

There were all kinds of wine on the cupboard, and there was a white porcelain bodhisattva underneath.

Jiang Zhou glanced at it, she didn't want to drink.

Three sticks of incense were pulled out of the drawer, and the flame on the lighter ignited instantly.

White smoke fills the air.

The sound of water in the bathroom never stopped, and he took a long bath, what a waste of water.

Jiang Zhou took the photo frame out of his backpack, and the photo behind it was still there.

She pulled it out separately, found a new frame, mounted it, and placed it next to the white porcelain bodhisattva.

The sound of the water stopped.

Soon she fell into an icy embrace.

It turned out that he was taking a cold shower.

"Are you crazy on such a cold day?" Jiang Zhou scolded in a low voice.

"Yes." He replied calmly, as if it had been a deliberate conclusion.

Jiang Zhou broke free from his embrace, stepped forward, touched the person in the photo with his hand, and smiled: "I can die for him." ”

Ji An's heart trembled.

"But," she said, turning her head to meet his uneasy look, "I am willing to live well for you." ”

Suddenly, everything was silent.

Only these nine words remain, and they keep echoing.

……

[I asked the Buddha: What if I meet someone you can love, but you are afraid that you can't grasp it?] 】

[The Buddha said: How much love is left in the world, and a thousand changes are greeted in the floating world; And lovers, do happy things, don't ask if it's a catastrophe or fate. 】

Buddha said

The bitter sea is endless, and the shore is turned back

Oh, yes

I am a flat boat in thousands of rivers

The bitter sea is endless, and the shore is turned back

…

The river boat season shore has long been doomed.