Back at home, Liu Tingting sat on the sofa, still sulking.

As soon as she saw me, she opened her mouth and said, "Chen Sansan, why are you more steamed buns than buns?" If my brother dares to speak to me like this, I will kill him immediately! It's just a scumbag, where can anyone talk to my sister like that! ”

I closed the door and wanted to smile at her, but I tore the corners of my mouth and sat down quickly on the floor against the door, crying.

First the tears fell silently, then sobbing, and finally the heartbreaking.

I said, "Tingting, I want to die, I don't want to live anymore." It's too hard to live. ”

With that, I reached out and pounded the floor, and the floor with the cheap tiles made a muffled sound, and my hands hurt so much that I was about to live.

I told Liu Tingting that when I was 4 years old, the family was in a bad situation, and I added a younger brother, and it just so happened that my aunt Li Xuemei gave birth to Chen Xuejiao, and I was adopted. I spent two years in Li Xuemei's house, which was still fairly well-fed and stable, until Li Xuemei gave birth to Chen Zhengqiang.

At that time, my uncle was a teacher, and although he received a salary, it was not high. Li Xuemei wanted to return me to the next level, but I was like a rag that had been thrown away, and in the see-saw stalemate between the two families, I still returned to Li Xuemei's house.

I got down on my knees and begged for it.

I was only 6 years old.

should have been an innocent age, but since then I have lived in the observance of words and feelings, with flattery and forbearance, in exchange for a moment of calm.

For me, my self-esteem is far less than the food and clothing that I need to beg for, nor is it comparable to the sense of stability that comes with having a tile to cover my head.

I am grateful to Li Xuemei for being soft-hearted and bringing me home again, and I am also grateful to her for giving me a bowl of full rice to eat in those young hardships, but I am also afraid of her.

The tribulations of life turned her into a grumpy woman, she was a little unhappy and had to do it, at first she also beat Chen Xuejiao, and then Chen Xuejiao cried and said that she would not recognize her mother if she beat her again, and Li Xuemei was reluctant to beat her son, so she beat me.

I was afraid that my crying would be thrown away, so I gritted my teeth and let her knead it like a bun, and when I was beaten the worst, I could hear my screams all over the street.

Later, I met Zhang Minglang, and at the beginning, he was like a shining star in my bleak life, bringing me full of brilliance and light.

And he is indeed like a distant star in my life, no matter how bright and bright it is for me, he will always be difficult for me to reach.

Because dust is dust, and the fate of dust is to fall into the dark abyss.

And the fate of the stars, even if it falls, is a sweet meteor that attracts people's attention.

How desperate this is for me.

Liu Tingting was frightened by me and ran over to hug my shoulder.

My tears were all rubbed into her clothes, and Liu Tingting said, "Chen Sansan, don't cry!" Who doesn't have a wonderful family at home. You're just like a tumbler, you're brave. ”

But I don't want to be praised for being like a tumbler, because a tumbler is lonely, and no one will ask how many trials and cruelties a tumbler had to go through before becoming a tumbler.

I'm also afraid that others will praise me for my bravery. There are always many people who praise the brave people, which may be a good quality, but the hearts of the brave people are destined to wander, and they have loved fiercely in the wandering journey, and then they are lost without warning, and finally become lost forever.

So what I have gotten over the years is nothing more than the cone experience of the cruelty of life, mixed with too brief warmth, so I occasionally despair and don't want to get up again to catch up with the sun tomorrow.

However, it's just a bit of a vent.

When we grow up slowly, when the pain becomes sluggish, there is no power to erupt at all, and we will slowly take life as a responsibility, so we dare not die easily.

I was almost crying, I suddenly stood up, wiped away my tears, barely pulled out a smile, and said to Liu Tingting: "Is there still noodles at home?" I want to cook and eat, I'm so hungry. ”