Jiajia dragged the corner of my clothes and followed me upstairs, Sister-in-law Liu was preparing lunch, this was the first time I was alone with my son, and when the thousands of days and nights of thoughts turned into a cute little face, I was a little at a loss.

It's right that mother and son are connected, but all these years of debt have a faint diaphragm between me and Jiajia, which is the heart wall I built myself.

I always feel like a sinner in front of Jiajia.

I hesitated for a long time, looked at Jiajia who was dangling her short legs on the sofa, and said with a smile: "Jiajia, are you sleepy?" Why don't you go to bed and wait for Sister-in-law Liu to cook and your aunt call you? ”

"With her mother here, Jiajia is not sleepy." Jiajia shook her little head, supported her chin with both hands, looked at me intently, and said sensibly: "Mom, you don't have to care about Jiajia, Jiajia just sit here and watch her mother, Dad said that Mom just came back, she must not be adaptable, Jiajia understands." ”

Jiajia has a mother in one mouth, and I have an aunt in my mouth.

After a turn of his mind, he suddenly remembered that when he came back, he had a teddy bear in his suitcase, which he bought when he was in France, so he really missed Jiajia.

"Jiajia, you wait for Auntie here, Auntie gives Jiajia a gift."

Jiajia cheered, looking very much looking forward to it, but when I handed him a pink teddy bear, his little mouth deflated, but he still accepted it: "Jiajia doesn't like pink the most, but it was given by my mother, so I can accept it reluctantly." ”

looked reluctant, but the little eyes were still very happy, probably what Jiajia said, this is because I gave it to him.

The boy didn't seem to like pink things very much, so I squatted down and smiled and said, "What does Jiajia like, next time Auntie will make it up to you?" ”

Jiajia's eyes lit up: "Really? Can Allison have whatever she wants? ”

I hesitated for a moment and said, "It's okay." ”

"Can Jiajia live with her mother all the time in the future?"

Looking at Jiajia's expectant eyes, I couldn't bear it, but I couldn't let Jiajia live in.

"Jiajia, this ...... No, you should live with your dad. ”

"But you're my mother." Jiajia pursed her mouth and said miserably: "Other children live with their parents." ”

I can't refute these words, children should follow their parents, if there is no such thing, Jiajia will always be by my side and Fu Yeqing.

Jiajia's eyes were filled with tears again, I was afraid that I would be soft-hearted, so I got up and said sharply: "I'm not your mother, Jiajia, don't you call my mother in the future?" ”

My roar startled Jiajia, and she immediately cried, crying heartbreakingly, I was at a loss to coax him, but I didn't know how to start.

When Sister-in-law Liu heard the voice, she saw Jiajia crying sadly, and asked anxiously: "Miss Chu, what's going on, the child is crying so sadly." ”

I can't answer Sister-in-law Liu, Sister-in-law Liu coaxed Jiajia still crying for a long time, this cry reminds me of listening to Jiajia's screaming cry almost every night in the confinement period, this cry makes my heart like a knife, but it also inspires the hatred in my heart, the scenes of the year are floating in my mind, the blood all over the ground, Fu Yeqing's accusation, the violent impact sound when the two cars collided, made me cold all over.

I was afraid that I couldn't control myself, so I hurriedly asked Sister-in-law Liu to take Jiajia down, Sister-in-law Liu hugged Jiajia who was crying and went down, I hurriedly ran into the bathroom, turned on the faucet with trembling hands, filled it with water, and soaked my face in the water, three years, I obviously controlled it very well, and I didn't want to be defeated by a cry of Jiajia today.

Since the accident three years ago, I have a habit of soaking myself in cold water when I am nervous and unable to breathe, which is the only way to calm me down.

In severe cases, he will soak his whole body in ice water, even if it is December.

I don't know how long I've been in the bathroom, how many times I've soaked my face in the water, and I've lost my facial features, I just know that Jiajia's cry is faintly ringing in my ears, and I'm getting farther and farther away, until I can't hear anything, I collapsed back to the room, and sat on the ground against the edge of the bed, the cold water kept dripping down my cheeks, the soaked hair stuck to my face, the clothes on my chest were wet, and the floor was dripping with water everywhere.

When the phone on the bed rang suddenly, my body shook like a reflex.

It was Simu who called, and when he heard my weak voice, he asked in a tense tone, "Out of control again?" ”

"Almost." I smiled bitterly: "I was upset when Jiajia cried just now, and I thought about something I shouldn't have thought about. ”

He asked urgently: "Jiajia is with you now?" ”

I wanted to tell Simu Fu Yeqing to move next door with Jiajia, but this thousands of miles away, I told him that he had to worry again, so he said: "I was there just now, but now it's gone, you should be there in the morning now, it's time to go to the winery." ”

"On the way." Simu said worriedly: "An'an, don't be too anxious about some things, take a good rest." ”

"I know, don't talk about it, you pay attention to safety."

After hanging up the phone, I looked sideways at the window, and Sister-in-law Liu came in and saw that I was half wet, and said in surprise: "Miss Chu, what's wrong with you?" ”

"It's okay, I accidentally got wet when I washed my face just now." I smiled and said, "Sister-in-law Liu, where is Jiajia?" ”

"Kid, his dad just came to pick him up." Sister-in-law Liu said: "The house next door has been empty for a few years, and I didn't think anyone would move in today." ”

Fu Yeqing is back?

I nodded, Sister-in-law Liu continued to be busy, I don't know how I went to the balcony, the balconies of these two villas are opposite, the distance between them is only a few tens of meters, I am standing on the balcony side, and Fu Yeqing is standing on the other side with his hands in his pockets.

The distance of dozens of meters makes me unable to see his expression clearly, but that cold figure reminds me of the night when Jiajia had a high fever, and Fu Yeqing at this time must have wanted to tear me apart in his heart, and wanted to question what my heart was made of, so cold, and so indifferent to his own son.

I stood still, he didn't move, a gust of wind blew, and my half-wet clothes pressed against my chest, and I felt cold.