"I like smart women, but I hate disobedient."

"Jiang Zuoyi, you are really difficult to serve."

"Shu Lan, what should I do with you?"

"Isn't everything that needs to be done already done, what do you still want to do?"

"Otherwise, you can marry me."

"Okay, then don't die if you have a kind!"

***

I always felt as if this conversation happened yesterday, and the man was standing in the backlit direction, only hearing the voice, but not seeing the face.

I ran towards him, and I was about to get closer, but like a shadow, he flew out of the distance he couldn't reach.

So much so that for a few minutes after I opened my eyes, I couldn't figure out if it was reality or a dream.

"Lanlan!"

Li Dongye?!

I want to say that you have already gone abroad, have you? Where am I? What happened, how long has passed, the future or the past, rebirth or time-traveling?

"Jiang ......" I opened my mouth, but I could only make a tearing mute sound.

"Lan Lan, you can't be in a hurry first, your vocal cords are burned, and it's not good to speak hard."

I touched the heavy bandage around my neck and looked at the solemnity and furnishings inside and outside the room.

I said okay, I'm not in a hurry. Speak slowly –

Jiang Zuoyi ...... What about people? ”

Li Dongye didn't speak, but tears burst out all of a sudden.

I sprang up like crazy and grabbed her thin shoulders: "Tell me where he is!" ”

"Shu Lan, calm down!" The door of the ward was slammed open, Ye Jinliang rushed in, stopped Li Dongye and pushed her to Du Chenfeng outside the door: "Shu Lan! Shu Lan, listen to me! ”

"Say what?" I stared at my blood-red eyes, my nails as if they were about to sink into the flesh of his arm: "You tell me, is he alive or dead!" ”

Ye Jinliang turned his face away and shook his head: "I'm sorry, he'...... Didn't make it. ”

I said I didn't believe it, I just saw him. He said he was going to marry me, and he said he would never leave me again!

I removed the infusion tube on my arm, lifted the quilt and was about to jump down: "If he dies, what are you going to do to save me!" Why don't you let me stay with him!

In this life, he hated him and wanted him to die for no reason. None of those who loved him were with him to the end. I'm the only one he's left to rely on! Me and the leaves...... It's his only relative.

I want to go with him, heaven and earth, and I must not let him be alone again! ”

"Shu Lan!" Ye Jinliang stopped me at the waist, and I beat him desperately, forcing him to let go: "You let me go!" Ye Jinliang, let go! You have occupied my soul for thirty years, and you have no right to force me to stay in your world again!

I love him, you let me go to him! ”

"Shu Lan!" A loud slap fell on my already scarred cheek, and Ye Jin hit me coldly.

Fuck, I thought that in this life, he would not have the qualifications and impulse to dare to beat me anymore until he died.

It's a pity that beating and being beaten are both addictive.

"Shu Lan, are you crazy! You've got leaves! Ye Jinliang threw himself in front of me, grabbed my shoulders and pressed me to the side of the bed: "You still have a daughter, you want to die with Jiang Zuoyi?" What about the leaves! ”

"I'll raise you......" I sneered with tears in my eyes, I said Ye Jinliang, aren't you just willing to cuckold and take over? Didn't you always want to be a father to Yezi? Didn't you always wish that Jiang Zuoyi would die, and that you would like to return to a life where he never appeared!

You're happy, you're proud, aren't you! Now all of this is what you want to see the most, right? You're the winner!

"Shu Lan, if his death can make you so painful, I would rather die than me."

Ye Jinliang's hand was on my shoulder, and he turned his face, tears were real and helpless.

"This, he's carrying." He took out a delicate box from his pocket, wrapped in sapphire blue flannel, and the blood on it had dried up and turned purple.

I reached out with a trembling hand and took it gently. Pulling open the lid of the spring clip, the luster of the diamond stung my collapsed tear ducts for a moment.

I threw the ring out, hugged my knee and cried. I said I don't want your ring, I don't want your promise, I want you to live...... I want you to stay by my daughter and me alive!

"Ye Jinliang, take me to see him...... Where is he? I can't believe him without him! ”

"Shu Lan, you've been in a coma for two weeks. It's been a long time ago—" Ye Jinliang hugged me and suppressed my trembling soul with all his body temperature: "Shu Lan, think about Ye Zi, be stronger."

Jiang Zuoyi is such a tough man, and his last concern in the world must have brought expectations and sustenance.

You've got to take the leaves well, and ...... them big."

"Why?" I said why!

He came into my life without a word, brought me a ridiculous daughter, and ruined my peaceful and peaceful life.

He injected himself like poison into my neurons and then left without a sound.

Why do I have to be strong? I can't be selfish once, I can't be fragile to the end, I can't think of him, I can't hate him!

"Ye Jinliang, tell me...... Where is he......"

"You're fine, when you're better, I'll take you up the mountain to see him......"

I said I wasn't going, I didn't want to see that cold name. I don't want to point to the tombstone and tell Yezi, that's her father!

"Ye Jinliang, you tell me, when you thought that you would lose me forever in this life, how much time and how many ways did it take you to keep your heart from hurting!

You tell me, how am I going to survive...... How do I get through? ”

"I don't know." He was holding me with his cheek against my forehead. The endless wetness has long been unable to distinguish whose tears belong to whom: "I never stopped my heart from being distressed, I only hated myself for being powerless, so I weakly let go of your hand."

Tricked that bastard into a smile that will never bloom again for the rest of his life......"

"You're the bastard!" I gave Ye Jinliang a slap with my backhand, and I said that you are not allowed to scold him: "You ...... Does anyone really know Jiang Zuoyi? What qualifications do you have to judge him?

Only I understand, I know how he digests loneliness, how he looks forward to the future!

He is no different from you, and from me. Peeling back those shocking means and conspiracies, his heart has always been sincere.

He will be a good father who knows how to tell stories, he will be a superman who rolls up his sleeves to get rid of bad boys, he will make me proud of him, and he will make Leaf proud of him.

He's not a jerk, but he'...... He was even more ruthless than you, and he abandoned me.

As he said to me back then, the only betrayal that cannot be tolerated is to die without a sound! ”

"So what do you want me to do! Shu Lan, I can't replace him, I can't save you.

Shu Lan, tell me, what do you want me to do?! ”

I said, are you going to let me die?

You tell me, Ye Jinliang, you tell me that you will take care of Ye Zi for me, and you will use your life to compensate for the harm you did to me in the first place.

You tell me that I can rest assured and bold to accompany the man I love, and you will love Ye Zi as your own daughter!

Anyway, you can't forget me for the rest of your life, can you? Then you will repay the rest of your life and keep me for the rest of your life!

"Good! Then you die! Ye Jinliang grabbed my shoulder, tears rushing on my face: "You die, you go to liberation!" I live for you and fulfill my responsibilities for you!

But today, you say these words to your daughter in person, do you dare! ”

"Mom...... Mom......" A faint little voice pierced through my hoarse mania and slipped in through the door of the ward: "Mom, you...... Don't you want leaves? ”

I hadn't seen a leaf in months, and she seemed to have grown a little taller, and her skin had tanned a little in the lake sun.

The eyes were wide, and tears rolled under the eyelashes like glass beads. Timidly lying on the door, he didn't dare to pounce on me immediately!

"Leaves...... Leaf!! I almost crawled over and immediately took my daughter into my arms: "I'm sorry...... Yezi, mom is sorry for you...... Mommy wants you, mom just ...... I miss your dad so much. ”

"Isn't Dad here......" Ye Zi's little hand wrapped around my neck, scratched it, and aimed at Ye Jinliang's body with big eyes.

"Daddy is here." Ye Jinliang squatted down and stroked the child's little head: "It's just that Ye Zi has more than one father." The more dads there are, the more love the leaves get. ”

"But why is my mother crying?" Yezi's little hand gently stroked my face, while boasting: "Mom doesn't cry, okay?" Ye Zi hasn't seen her mother for a long time...... Mom smiled. ”

My heart felt like it had been trampled by thousands of horses, and it was tearing and rotting with each blow. I said Yezi, what my mother promised you, I can't do it anymore.

Mom wants to give you a better dad, but ...... There was no more chance.

"When you grow up, you gradually understand that there are things that you can't keep no matter how hard you try to protect them. You'll know why mom ...... today I'm going to cry......"

"Why can't you keep it?" Ye Zi blinked his big eyes and looked at me with an ignorant expression: "Mom, as long as you try to protect it, that thing will remain deep in your heart, whether you eat or sleep, it will always be there, and no one can take it away."

It's like Little Zero, I've ...... I haven't seen him in a long time. My mother and aunt told me that some people often leave a word and never appear again.

Some people, after saying goodbye, are never seen again.

However, once it dwells in the hearts of others, it becomes eternal. ”

"Leaf !!" My daughter's words were like a shot in the arm that hit me mercilessly and mercilessly killed the fragility of my whole body.

I hugged her and cried without an image. It's as if she's the mom and I'm a four or five-year-old......

I think the last thing I have to worry about in my life has finally happened-

I no longer have to think about whether the love between me and Jiang Zuoyi is greater than suitability, or whether suitability is greater than staying together.

As long as I live, he will live in my heart.

***

In the month since I recuperated from my injury, I have been almost inseparable from the leaves. Because neither Li Dongye nor Ye Jinliang dared to let me leave my daughter's sight at all.

Yes, it was me who left my daughter's sight.

Because only she can sustain me to live.

Sometimes I'll stand in front of the window and see a sea of fire in front of me. As soon as I closed my eyes, I could think of the scene where Jiang Zuoyi carried me and jumped out.

The last thing he said to me was, don't be afraid, hold on to me.

Countless days and nights, these few words played in my mind in a loop like a demon.

At that time, he almost shed the last drop of blood on his body, but he was able to meet such a confident promise in the face of such a desperate crisis.

- He will protect me with my whole body, but I forgot to add that I will not pay for my life.

It's really hard for me to imagine that a man as tough as him would one day fall.

But who can deny that such a destination belongs to Jiang Zuoyi's temperament? A true soldier deserves to be killed by a bullet in the last battle.

At least, in his short and hard life, he earned enough of my thoughts and tears.

Friends came to see me one after another—

Li Dongye said she was pregnant. I was happy for her, and then I missed Jiang Zuoyi, and thinking about it made her cry. I said you go, I have to learn to be alone.

Wang Xiaofei said that he was able to stand up, although he could only take a small step, but it was already a big step forward in historic progress. I was also happy for him, and then I missed Jiang Zuoyi, Wang Xiaofei also cried, saying that he knew that it would be like this that day, and he would definitely not agree to me to accompany him abroad. I said you can go too, you can't save me.

Su Beiwang's wife, who accompanied him, also came, and he said that he still couldn't agree with Jiang Zuoyi's style of acting, but he did not deny his bloody nature and toughness, and he was an impressive opponent.

I said what should you do, what are you going to do! Others are here to comfort me, I can't help but miss him, and you're just here to add to the blockage!

"Shu Lan, I'm just taking a ...... I want to tell you from the perspective of the person who has ever been closest to death. When Jiang Zuoyi is dying, he must be concerned about you. ”

Lin Yu hugged a hairless cat and came, and he said that he still had something to talk to me about. Regarding what I mentioned before, Du Chenfeng talked about an email-

Of course, he explained that the reason for holding a hairless cat was that I still had injuries on my body, and hairy ones were susceptible to infections.

I said you! Jiang Zuoyi is dead! My man is dead, and you still have to come to me to discuss the case and investigate the clues! You're still not human!

Later, everyone left.

Each has its own life to appreciate, and each has its own world to work hard.

I'm very busy, who will always have time to see my sister-in-law Xianglin?

So I spent a lot of time watching the leaves, and she was lying on my bedside drawing, and I was in a daze at her.

It wasn't until one day, when she stabbed her hand again with a utility knife, that I realized that my leaf was still a sick person, and I, apparently sicker than her!

I cried and took the baby to the hospital, but the doctor refused to accept it.

It is said that Ye Zi's situation is repeated repeatedly, either with tranquilizers or with epilepsy drugs. Or, you can only rely on parents to work harder and care more.

That night, after I put the leaves to sleep, I stared at the blue flame while cooking the soup. I suddenly thought of those people who shouldn't have appeared in my life in the first place, such as Ling Nan and Ling Xue, such as Mo Qiaoqi.

I wonder if I should have the courage of Mo Qiaoqi and just take my daughter away.

It's so hard to live, why don't we get rid of it together?

But I still can't do it after all, because in that case, I won't have the face to see Jiang Zuoyi again when I get there.

He likes strong and intelligent women the most, like Shu Lan before...... The same.

It's another weekend, and I'm not at work, and I'm no longer sensitive to the difference between weekdays and rest days.

But today, I made an appointment with Yezi's psychiatrist. So when I got up early in the morning, I first habitually opened the bedside table and glanced at the ring that Jiang Zuoyi left for me. Then go to the children's room and wake up the leaves.

Dr. Mo was introduced to me by Su Xihang, and he helped Ye Zi follow up several courses of treatment when he was in Canada.

This time it was specifically for us to return home, and probably because of this, Su Xihang became the only guest who was not kicked out by me when he came to visit me.

"You may be seated, Ms. Shu." Dr. Moske, who was about forty years old, wore mild gold-rimmed glasses and had a particularly friendly feel.

I hugged Ye Zi to my lap and said Doctor Mo, Ye Zi doesn't like to talk very much recently, and sometimes she is a little in a trance, I wonder if I should send her to kindergarten again?

I thought that staying with me would make up for the child's insecurity during this time, but-

"It's you who should go to kindergarten, Ms. Shu." Mo Sike made a phone call, and the young female assistant knocked on the door and came in, leading Ye Zi out to play.

I snorted and said, Dr. Mo, you're joking with me.

"No, Ms. Shu, my meaning is very clear, now, you are the one who should be treated."

I stiffly put my hand between my legs and defended with little confidence. Speaking of Dr. Mo, you must have heard something about me.

Yes, my fiancé just passed away and I'm sad.

This sadness cannot be offset by any persuasion or medicine, it may be with me for the rest of my life.

For the sake of my daughter, I can't be misanthropic, but that doesn't mean I can get out of this shadow.

I say that you are doctors, and you know all the diseases of the world, but you may not understand the depth of the pain.

As I spoke, I saw Dr. Mok glance at the picture frame on his desk. Inside is a photo of a man and a woman, both of whom are about twenty-seven or eighteen years old. The man is not him, the woman is quite like him.

"Who says we can't understand?" Mo Sike retracted his gaze: "People are social animals, and if they have a family and a lover, there will be gains and losses. Everyone has to go through the process of losing their loved ones, but sooner or later.

Ms. Shu, you can't change the fact that your lover has passed away, and you can't change the feeling of missing him. But you can change your lifestyle –

For example, like sending your daughter to kindergarten, you can integrate into your own kindergarten.

You used to be a corporate executive. How long has it been since I was at work? ”

How long has it been since I was at work? It's been a long time since I've thought about this question.

"Shu Lan, you want to be the king, and I will help you fight the world."

"No! This time, I am the king, and you are the queen. ”

"Being a strong woman is so addictive?"

"More secure than being your woman!"

I couldn't hide my urge to cry like a fool in front of the psychiatrist, I lost Jiang Zuoyi, and I lost the charm that attracted Jiang Zuoyi the most.

I said okay, I'll go back to the company.

Just like the first time I saw him alone, he was so confident and powerful.

Jiang Zuoyi loves not only me, but also what I once had-a state of being strong and persistent, and it made him feel distressed.

People are born to be contradictory, they all say that they are living for themselves, in fact, who is not insisting on others for others?

On the first day after returning to Zhongshan Jianye, Ye Jinliang took me to my office.

The furnishings didn't move at all, and he said he knew I would be back.

I looked through the mirrored glass, the neat floor, and the smell of sunlight in the air.

It's almost August, and I still can't escape the rainy season after all.

"Jin Liang, help me send me a few pots of flowers."

I looked at the bare windowsill, and my mind was inevitably pretentious.

"Okay, I'll ask someone from the administration office to buy it."

"Mimosa, shameless ......" I closed my eyes, shaking off the ruffian smile that came to mind.

After a catastrophe, Zhongshan Jianye was still in the stage of being in ruins, Ye Jinliang laid a good foundation in the early stage, and he told me that we have no shortage of markets, because Jiang Zuoyi paid for almost all the asset consideration under his name and won the last round of bidding for us to win the Jiangjing Capital.

I asked him when it happened!

"Will."

I waved my hand and said you go down. By the way, call Zhan Yi in.

Zhan Yi is my assistant, and he has been cold to me for a long time.

When did I start to alienate him and overstep him? It's probably the stage when Jiang Zuoyi and I got bigger and bigger.

But the man left my life quietly, and I realized that I was trying to find the people with whom he had crossed paths—

Look at his past from different eyes, listen to his life from different mouths.

I asked Zhan Yi, how many years have you been with Mr. Jiang.

The man was obviously surprised, at least the expression on his face was not as calm as that of an undercover agent.

"I had long guessed that you were his man. He had just come here to invest, and no matter what happened to the company, he knew it all. ”

I said, "That's when I suspected that he had a deep, deep eyeliner in the company. ”

"Mr. Shu, I ......"

I said I'm not here to confront you, I'm just ...... I want to hear you say that he later ...... What else is there to ask for?

"Mr. Jiang left a letter for you." Zhan Yi said.

I can't calm down, what letter do I say? Where is it!

Zhan Yi grabbed an envelope from his pocket and said that it was given to Andy before he went to England to see him off after his death.

"He told me that if Mr. Tianshu returns to this office, let me hand it over to you personally."

The snow-white envelope was resting in the corner of the table, and I looked at it silently. Then he slumped down in the swivel chair. With a wave of his hand, I said you go out first, I want to be alone for a while.

It was the first time I had seen Jiang Zuoyi handwriting my name. The two words Shu Lan fell in the center of the envelope, fluttering handsomely. Throwing the pen to the peak, slightly pretending.

Taking a deep breath, I bravely took it apart.

Then get up, close the door, close the window, draw the curtains, and unpack a brand new pack of tissues from the drawer. How does it feel like a teenager who takes advantage of his parents' absence and plans to watch a film to do bad things!

【Shu Lan:

It's twelve o'clock in the morning. Andy is on my left, in the box.

A few days have passed, and as soon as I close my eyes, I am thinking about the scene of that day, and I also know that you have called me countless times to be the woman who is by my side.

However, you must know that there are some pains that cannot be neutralized by hugging, and it needs to be digested and faced by us alone.

Our lives intersect and merge with each other's joys and sorrows. But it still can't change this fact, and in the face of many decisions and many encounters, no one can replace anyone.

So I thought, should I teach you something? If one day I leave you like this forever, what should you—what should you do? What can be done to make it less painful?

First of all, I think you should recall. Remember how you lived so many years before you met me.

What is your most important thing, what is your greatest ideal. They're all there, actually. And all the detours are just making you stronger.

Then, it's time for you to take a hot shower. It's like replacing an old layer of skin, allowing yourself to melt into the exhaustion of being at a loss. Dry your wonderful body with a new bath towel and count your permanent scars in the mirror. You can think of anything but me.

The Joy Base theme park in the western suburbs is opening in September, so it's time to take the leaves with you. She likes pink princess dresses, but pink can make a girl's mind often stay in the dreamy childish stage.

You need to be strong, and your daughter needs to be strong as well.

So Shu Lan, you have to teach her that in a given crippled family environment, she is braver and stronger than children of the same age.

I'm sure you'll do it, because you're my Shulan.

You are the kind of love I've been looking for for years.

I can't wait to take you into my arms and promise you the world, but I can't bear to cut off your wings.

Because your beauty has always bloomed in a way that I can't control.

If I could, I would like to leave my life to you, and use the remaining decades to see the prosperity of the world, and taste the dullness and bitterness.

If I could, I'd like to spend a lot of time trying to understand how I fell in love with you. I became more and more unable to bear this neurotic loss of control, and the farther I pushed, the more tormented my heart became. Shu Lan, you must be poisonous.

But if not, my only hope is to teach you one last lesson.

Once taught you how to defeat the enemy, today teaches you how to save yourself.

Shu Lan, there will never be a man worthy of your pain, believe me, they just want to you.

Me too.

So, you open the curtains. I want to see your smile. 】

"Jiang Zuoyi, are you stupid!" I crumpled the letter paper and slowly fell to my knees against my desk.

"I don't need you to teach me that! I fucking know when I'm going to hold on... When is it time to let go...

You go to find your good friend and old lover, and play mahjong to fight the landlord! There you go!

I'll be fine... I will..."

The phone that fell to the ground rushed and pulled me back to reality from the illusion of collapse. I pulled a tissue to wipe away my tears, and said in a suppressed voice, "Hey, who's who?" ”

"Sister Shu, it's me!"