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Song Yufang was so frightened that she retreated again and again: "No, no, no, I'm really sorry." I didn't think about this question, you suddenly brought it up and left me with no master, I think I ...... At the moment, I'm afraid I don't want to be distracted by anything other than work. ”

He Shunqing's eyes dimmed suddenly, and the hand holding the ring hung listlessly. He turned, his face furrowed in disappointment. Immediately, he made up his mind and worked hard to the end: "I can pretend to believe your excuses, but you can't fool yourself." You've thought about it, haven't you? He turned around and pressed towards Song Yufang step by step, "You and I are the same, although we haven't come to a clear step with each other, we have already taken this issue to heart. I don't mind you refuse, but I mind you running away with flawed lies. ”

Song Yufang felt a sourness emanating from her heart, occupying her entire head, making it necessary to consume great physical strength even to stand firm. She asked hoarsely: "What if you think about it, but you don't agree, don't you understand the meaning enough?" ”

This time, He Shunqing didn't have the courage to move forward any longer, he just told the grievances and contradictions in his heart in discouragement: "I shouldn't force you to say an answer that makes me happy, but I think it's difficult to hide your emotions." When you read love poems, you will be moved, when you hear love songs, you will cry, and when you see your lover, you will blush. ”

Song Yufang, who could feel her heart shaking more and more, had a hot eye in her eyes, and quickly turned her head to wipe it. But he was firmly dragged by He Shunqing, who was one step faster, and straightened his body.

He Shunqing lowered his head, approached her closed eyes little by little, and asked, "How do you want me to believe that your blush at this time has nothing to do with me?" Even if it is a shame of persecution, then your tears ......"

Song Yufang, who was in a hurry to be asked, even the roots of her ears were red, she tightly covered her scurrying heart, in order to break free from this oppression, she went from insincere all the way to unscrupulous: "I'm afraid, I'm afraid that you will retaliate because you can't succeed in courtship." A big guy like you can easily pinch me to death. ”

"You really think I'm that kind of person?" He Shunqing let go of his hand, it was not only his hands and feet that were cold, but also his tone, "Even if our fate only stays at the stage of colleagues and friends, it doesn't matter, but is this how you define me as a person?" ”

His disappointment was all hidden in his words, and Song Yufang slowly opened his eyes. Looking at his aggrieved red eyes, Song Yufang also fell into deep self-blame and embarrassment.

This time, He Shunqing was completely silent.

And the person who talked endlessly was replaced by Song Yufang: "How can you say it clearly?" To tell you the truth, I strongly objected to the couple who were in the auditorium at this moment, receiving the blessings of the guests. There are a lot of old thoughts, although I don't think they're right, but it's strange, these thoughts seem to melt into my blood and bones, and I can't get rid of them when I come out of my mother's womb. I'm a woman, so every time, despite your trusting encouragement to try a new job, my first instinct is always to shrink back. It wasn't modesty, I knew it was a little bit of inferiority that I couldn't restrain from being born. Due to the environment, when the vast majority of people in this society are telling me that women are not good, the first enemy I have to face in every effort is my inner demon. So, can I guess that you, as men, in this society where women are regarded as playthings, after a long time of immersion, will you also be born a little stubborn, and only see marriage as a small part of life? If we don't attach equal importance to marriage, then sooner or later our cooperation will collapse. ”

He Shunqing took a deep breath, only thought for a moment, and then said loudly: "I don't dare to say that I have no demons at all, so let's talk about this matter with discrimination." Since you are a mere woman, you can do your best to overcome your cowardly demons, so can't I, a man, overcome the temptation of the outside world? Why do you underestimate me? ”

Song Yufang nodded slightly, although she was relieved for a moment, she still couldn't get over the fear of the door in her heart: "Okay, then let's talk about it later." Is this world just you and me? In our Chinese bones, we always carry the burden of Qi Da and uneven for the goodness of both sexes. Will my parents agree, and even if they do, will it be for the better of my life, or will I need to make the second half of my life better? That's my question, and you should think about your parents and family. Can their minds change, and will they accept a new view of marriage and love? Even if everything went incredibly well, we put aside all the mismatches to make this relationship happen. But the days are still long, can people like you and people like us be safe and sound all their lives? ”

Raising the family problem all at once is always a difficult problem that cannot be bypassed or crossed between men and women, even if the family with the same conditions is close to each other, it is often from the children's in-laws to the nodding friends.

He Shunqing couldn't hypocritically boast about Haikou on this issue, his eyes became hesitant: "Yufang, can we not expand the problem to ...... yet?"

"No, you listen to me." Song Yufang interrupted his intention to narrow the contradiction, "I'll tell you what real life is, tell you why the marriage between the two classes is always regrettable and less satisfying, and by the way, I will confess to you what kind of layman I am." For example, the gold ring you hold in your hand, I know that people of your class talk about jewelry, first of all, they appreciate the craftsmanship and pattern, and even compare whether it is unique or not. And when I saw it, the first thing I thought of was that it was so big and so shiny, is it real? If I take it, I'll knock it out while no one is taking my teeth. That's the difference between you and me, the lives we've been exposed to since we were kids couldn't be more different. Don't tell me that love is all-encompassing. When one day, when I finally failed to restrain my instinct and did this in full view of everyone, would you feel at that moment that your former love was wrong? Will you regret falling in love with one, no matter how much money you make, you will stand on the street, in order not to spend money in vain, and count the people who pass with the rickshaw driver one copper plate after another. Even after thinking about this question, you still choose to come to me. Then I should also think clearly, whether I can do it myself, in the days to come, I will never be in front of you, and I feel inferior because of my market style. I want a home that is relaxed and harmonious. I don't want my future life, bound by the pressure of work during the day, and when I get home, I have to continue to wonder if I didn't use this word well enough. Although I am still optimistic that there is a love that transcends family and wealth, I do not have the courage to believe that the impulse of love can last a lifetime. ”

After saying this in one breath, Song Yufang suddenly stopped trembling. She could finally clearly understand what had kept her from the relationship. Once understood, the last bit of optimism is annihilated and the fear is gone. She was not born a poor girl, and she had good food and clothing. Therefore, she did not have the courage to be ignorant, fearless, and blind in her heart, and she was more afraid of Zhumen Xiuhu than those girls who did not know how deep the house was. Getting married to such a family is not even a matter of two families, but involves a huge clan. Poor people don't have so many relatives, and people are afraid that you will borrow rice and grain every once in a while, and when they see you poor, they will have to get to know you. Rich people are different, the more diligent they are, the more ways they can make money, even if their relatives who have been out of service will suddenly appear one day, and then point fingers at the newcomers in the family.

These worries are not self-inflicted, Mrs. Song used to come over like that. Although her mother's experience was far away, it still remained sporadically in Song Yufang's mind. She didn't want to go back to that old path, which was a good choice for the incapable old-fashioned women to trade status and dignity for survival. But for a person like Song Yufang who can support himself, it is unbearable.

He Shunqing just looked at Song Yufang like this, listening to her tell the confusion and hesitation in her heart in a small voice, and watched the light in her eyes dim little by little, what she extinguished was not her hope alone.

There was a commotion, and later the stage started, and Song Yufang didn't listen.

###

Back at home, the moon in the sky had just risen a head.

Mrs. Song was holding a new cloth and gesturing at Aunt Wang.

"Mom......" Song Yufang shouted a word, her eyes were hot, her mouth seemed to be stuffed with something, and she couldn't say anything anymore.

"Just in time." Mrs. Song was even happier when she saw that she came back early, "Your younger brother is amazing, so he transferred to a new school, and he was selected, saying that he was going to sing for foreign officials, you see, can I use this material to make him new clothes?" "Let's talk about it, pull a corner of the fabric with Aunt Wang and show it to her.

Song Yufang reluctantly bent her lips and smiled, and whispered: "He is learning chorus, and if he wants to go, he will go with his classmates, he can't wear one color, others wear another, or listen to the school's arrangement." ”

"And this is exquisite?" Mrs. Song's enthusiasm was extinguished by this sentence, and then she got anxious, chased after her daughter and asked, "Will that person let us buy that kind of expensive material?" ”

Song Yufang shook her head and said, "You always have to give a little money, but it may not be a very large amount." It should be the whole choir that you buy together, maybe it's cheaper than you buy a horse yourself. ”

"Then I won't be busy." Mrs. Song put her mind at ease, folded the cloth back again, and muttered, "This material is similar to the pattern of your father's lake-blue gown, which has been worn for seven or eight years, and the cuffs are all white." I thought about removing the material on the back to make sleeves, and this new cloth was just right for the placket, so I would make up a new one. ”

Song Yufang looked at this material and thought about where her new clothes came from, and after thinking about it, it seemed that none of them were added by her mother, and they were all bought and made when she saw a good one when she was shopping. Because of thinking, his face became very bad, his throat moved a few times, and he asked in a dumb voice: "Mom, in your heart, you treat me well...... Or is it better to wait for Jinfang? ”