Only then did I understand why Xu Song and Fu Jie were so devoted to me, why did they treat me as a friend, it turned out that they had already regarded Zhao Qinhan as a friend, so they were so colluded and deliberately excluded Jin Yan just now. They thought that Jin Yan and I had come together again, they were worried about Zhao Qinhan, and they might have understood Zhao Qinhan's feelings for me. As friends, they were already instinctively leaning towards Zhao Qinhan's side.

This made me suddenly realize that if Jin Yan and I really came together, we would be so unfavored and unblessed.

Perhaps in their eyes, it was a very unwise decision for me to contact Jin Yan again now, which was simply a moth to a fire.

Before I could speak, Fu Jie couldn't wait to persuade him: "Let's not talk about whether Jin Yan is suitable for you, Xiaoshu, you have to understand something, he has a girlfriend." How can you be such a smart person, how can you be so confused about emotional matters? Ignore these excellent men around you, but infatuate with such an unobtrusive rich second generation like those little girls, in the end, what do you have left except for getting injured? Don't you be naïve enough to think that you really have an ending, do you? ”

It turns out that what I thought was a vigorous relationship is so worthless in the eyes of people who don't understand. But the world's gaze may be like this, who would want to take the trouble to understand those sad emotional processes, everyone will only measure and evaluate from all the external surfaces, take it for granted that it is not advisable, prejudiced that we are just playing with and being played with The relationship, and those emotional factors that really determine our together, who cares?

The feeling of not being understood and always being treated with prejudice in your childhood comes back again, often when you feel the best and most comfortable in your heart, suddenly the people around you will suddenly pour a basin of cold water on you, they will not pay attention to your inner feelings and directly draw conclusions, stand on a moral or humanitarian plane to accuse you, and tell you that you are wrong...... However, I am no longer the same person I was when I was a child, I was small and thin and had no opinions, and I would be persuaded to quit by this inexplicable force, thinking that I was really wrong.

But now, I won't.

I listened quietly to their words, and after listening quietly to each of them, I looked at them calmly and asked softly, "Are you finished?" ”

There was not a hint of fluctuation in my tone, and they were slightly stunned, and then they all nodded in unison. Fu Jie sighed softly, and I understood what that sigh meant. At that moment, perhaps their hearts were synonymous with the subtext: not to listen to persuasion.

I took a sip of water calmly and calmly, and I said, "Then let me make my point." First of all, I would like to make a few points. First, Jin Yan and Shen Ziyan have broken up, maybe you don't know, so I don't blame you for misunderstanding me. Second, he and I are just friends now, and I don't know what the future holds. Thirdly, I am surprised that you will persuade me so much, and I am really touched, because I know that you don't treat me as an outsider. I am very grateful to everyone for treating me as a friend, and I am afraid that I will go the wrong way so I am persuaded like this, I am really grateful, and my heart is very warm. ”

"He broke up with Shen Ziyan? When did it happen? You haven't been deceived, have you? Fu Jie couldn't have been more surprised, his face full of disbelief.

"Just broke up, I wasn't deceived, I saw the process." I said lightly. As soon as the words came out, they were even more surprised.

During the whole process of my calm talk, Zhao Qinhan kept looking at me with that kind of perceptive gaze, and his face was not as surprised or puzzled as Fu Jie and Xu Song. On the contrary, I felt that his gaze seemed to be slightly relieved, and I don't know why.

He seemed to understand my mind very well, and he said to Fu Jie: "Don't be in a hurry to speak first, let's listen to Xiaoshu first, I know she still has something to say." ”

I smiled at him, and Fu Jie suddenly stopped talking.

So, I continued: "I know that your worries and concerns are due to the fear that I will be hurt, and I myself am the same. What I want to tell you is that I may not be mature enough to think about things from a comprehensive perspective, but I am no longer the same person I used to be, and I will no longer make hasty conclusions about my life. Even if I choose who to be my boyfriend, I will definitely consider it after comprehensive consideration, and I will not act rashly. At present, Jin Yan and I are just friends, and everything goes naturally. Thank you for worrying about me, but for now, I think your worries may be unfounded. ”

Xu Song sat directly across from me, and when I said this, I first saw his reaction. There was a deep appreciation in his eyes, and at the same time he seemed thoughtful.

My words silenced everyone's worries, and for a moment they didn't know what to say. After a while, Fu Jie said curtly: "Since you know it in your own heart, we won't say anything more." Either way, just hello. ”

Zhao Qinhan sat on the chair with his hands folded, his head bowed and he didn't know what he was thinking. After Fu Jie finished speaking, he raised his head and suddenly asked me, "Xiaoshu, is it possible for you and Jin Yan?" ”

I smiled and I said, "I don't know, just let it be." ”

A slight frustration flashed in his eyes, but then, that ambitious look rekindled in his eyes, that kind of look made me a little faintly worried, I knew that he was a man who would not give up easily. And I had a faint feeling that at that moment, he seemed to have made a decision. It's just that he didn't say it.

This is how we all ended this unexpected dinner, and when we walked out of the alley after chatting, Jin Yan's car had already driven away. So, I went back to school with the three of them.

After that, Jin Yan didn't send me a message or call until late in the evening. I wanted to text him something, but after editing a few of them, I didn't send them. I think he would contact me if he had the heart. If I don't go with him, let him go!

It was Zhao Qinhan who sent me a message at 11 o'clock at night, and the content of the message made me feel terrified. What I had been worried about, it still came.

The content of his text message was like this, he said: "Xiaoshu, I just want to ask you, do I have a chance?" ”

Of course, I could understand what he was saying, but he had always spoken very vaguely, and he didn't know what to say, so I pretended to be stupid and replied, "Huh? What chances? ”

"You know what I'm talking about." He replied to me very quickly.

"I don't know, just let it be." I replied to him with those four words.

It's true that I don't know what will happen in the future, who I will be with in the future, what kind of encounters I will have, what kind of man I will marry and have children, these are all things in the future. I used to think a lot, but the consequence of fantasizing too much was to make myself unrealistic. Now I gradually learn to stop thinking about it, step by step and down-to-earth, and my heart is gradually steady.

I have no intention of giving him hope, I am just holding a casual attitude right now. However, he replied to me as if he had been hoped: "That's good, I see, please see how I do it." ”

"Qin Han, I think it's good for us to be friends." I understood that he had misunderstood, so I quickly and tactfully resent a message to the past. On the one hand, I carefully maintain his dignity, and on the other hand, I express my attitude.

However, he didn't reply to my text messages.

In the next few days, Xu Song, Fu Jie and Zhao Qinhan all left the campus one after another to go home for the New Year. Before leaving, we got together again for a meal, and I was the only one who planned to stay on campus because I was homeless.

That night, Xu Song and I talked a lot about small paintings. Since Xiaohua broke up with him, she rarely appeared on campus, and she was with Xiaoxue all day long, and gradually embarked on a road of no return. Xu Song said that he was very heartbroken but helpless, and gradually let go of this unforgettable relationship, he said that he loved deeply but was really tired.

Xu Song finally patted me on the shoulder before leaving, and said to me, "If only the little painting could be like you." In the past few years, I have seen that you are constantly changing and improving, but the small paintings are getting more and more regressive. ”

I smiled, my heart was inexplicably heavy, she was my own sister after all, although we don't recognize each other now, but that kind of blood is thicker than water still exists. I thought maybe I should talk to her, no matter what she thought of me.

After I sent them off, Jin Yan finally contacted me. That afternoon, I was reading a book in the library when I received a call from him.

"What are you doing?" As soon as the phone was connected, he asked in a gruff voice.

"Reading in the library, what's wrong?" I said calmly.

"Is it that if I don't contact you, you won't contact me?" He asked angrily.

"No, I've been busy." I replied with a bit of a weak heart, and only I realized how many times I resisted the urge to text and call.

"Shen Ziyan committed suicide that day, so I didn't wait for you. She swallowed sleeping pills and almost died. Jin Yan said on the other end of the phone, and I was very surprised to hear it.

"Wouldn't it? So what's going on now? I asked hurriedly.

"It's okay now, I don't know. Where are you, I want to see you! He replied in a nonchalant tone.

I told him I was in the library, and about twenty minutes later, he actually came. I was holding a book and reading it with relish, when he stood behind me and suddenly blindfolded me.

,..