After Chen Qingyi finished speaking, he bowed to Zuo Lan's tombstone again, and gave me the place, I also stared at the tombstone for a long time, looking at the increasingly mottled tombstone, I realized that Zuo Lan had really been gone for a long time.

At this moment, I feel guilty, because after going back and forth, I did not give Pipsqueak a stable family, but instead gave him a lot of pain of parting.

"I'm sorry!" For a long time, for a long time, I only said these three words, all these years I have been a failed father, a failed husband, a failed lover, and I don't want to say too much when Pipsqueak is leaving, because any words are like a kind of hypocritical cover-up.

Chen Qingyi looked at me with some surprise, maybe she thought I would talk a lot.

"Pippi, let's talk to Mommy." I took a few more steps to the tombstone with Pippi.

Pippi looked back at me and Chen Qingyi, and said, "Dad, Mother Chen, can you leave first, I have something to whisper to my mother." ”

Chen Qingyi and I, although curious about what Pippi would say to Zuo Lan, gave him and Zuo Lan space to communicate alone, and we avoided him until we couldn't hear him at all.

.......

I turned my back, lit a cigarette, raised my head, closed my eyes, and spit out the cigarette in my mouth, in the uninhabited cemetery, I felt a chaotic calm, this alternative calm, from the cigarette in my hand, when I became obsessed with cigarettes again, Zhang Yixi also became the original Zhang Yixi.

Chen Qingyi gently pulled out the cigarette I was holding between my fingers, shook her head and said to me, "Yixi, smoke less!" ”

The cigarette was still burning between Chen Qingyi's fingers, I looked at it, didn't pay attention to the cigarette anymore, and said to Chen Qingyi: "Be sure to take care of Pippi instead of me!" ”

"I love him more than I love myself!"

I nodded, no longer spoken, Chen Qingyi put the cigarette butt on the ground, stepped on it with her foot, picked it up and wrapped it in a tissue, but I took out a cigarette and lit it, I need a cigarette, I need a cigarette to help me find the original feeling, after tomorrow, I will completely put myself in the "bloody" shopping mall, take back everything that belongs to me, and piece together the dream that has been broken.

took a heavy breath and enjoyed the emptiness, falsehood after a brief pleasure.....

Opening his eyes and looking at Pippi, he leaned against the tombstone and wiped the dust on Zuo Lan's posthumous photo with his hand, he had already finished talking to Zuo Lan about what he had to say, this was the final farewell ceremony.

"Yixi, what will Pippi say to Zuo Lan?"

"I don't know, but I must be what I want to say...... You know this kid, has learned to disguise himself in front of us! ”

Chen Qingyi looked at Pippi, there were no words, but her expression was sad, I think she also understood: Pippi's precocious maturity stems from the harm we have given.

Chen Qingyi and I came to Zuo Lan's tombstone, took Pippi to bow again and said goodbye to Zuo Lan, we didn't say anything more, Chen Qingyi took Pippi's hand and walked side by side with me to the outside of the cemetery, when I walked farther and farther, my emotions became more and more inflated, I knew that the war was getting closer and closer to me.

......

Chen Qingyi and Pippi's itinerary has been arranged, tomorrow morning, we will fly directly to Shanghai, and then they will fly from Shanghai to Ireland, and we will say goodbye.

On this night in Jinan, we stayed in a hotel, Pi Phi and I stayed in one room, and Chen Qingyi stayed alone.

I was lying on the bed with Pippi, he was watching cartoons, I was flipping through a financial magazine, looking at the familiar faces in the magazine, and I realized that I had been out of the mall for too long, too long, but I didn't know if the wandering mall would be my final destination.

The sound of the TV stopped abruptly, I put down the magazine in my hand and looked at Pippi, he looked at me with a bright look, not a little tired, I asked a little puzzled, "Why don't you watch cartoons?" ”

"Dad, I don't want to leave you!" Pipsqueak said, holding my arm.

"What's the matter, didn't you decide to go to Ireland with your mother Chen?"

"I want you to come with me...... I thought that as long as I insisted on going with Mother Chen, you would be reluctant to let me go in the end and leave with us, but tomorrow I have to leave, and you still don't want to go with us at all! Pipsqueak shook my arm, tears rolling in his eyes.

Pippi's words were like a sharp blade cutting through my heart, and it took me a long time before I said, "Daddy will come to see you, and he will go after this year." ”

"Why don't you want to join us, for the sake of the prettiest aunt?"

"Just call Aunt Ann!" I replied, "Yes," but in fact I had already admitted that I had stayed for Angel.

Pippi's emotions were out of control: "You are a bad father, you like beautiful aunts, with beautiful aunts, you don't want me, don't want Mother Chen, and want to marry her secretly, I know it!" ”

"Daddy didn't want to marry her...... You're still young, and you don't understand adult things! ”

"Then you don't want to marry her, why don't you marry Mother Chen again?" Pipsqueak glared at me.

"Didn't you understand it before, why don't you understand it now?"

Pipsqueak ignored me and lay down, covering his head under the quilt, motionless....... This sudden change made me a little overwhelmed.

......

The next day, Pippi and I got up early in the morning, and no matter what I said to him, he ignored me, and this ignorance continued until the airport in Shanghai.

In the waiting hall, me, Chen Qingyi, and Pippi were sitting, Chen Qingyi had already noticed that Pippi's mood was wrong, and consciously said to him: "Pippi, we're going to get on the plane soon, don't you want to say something to Dad?" ”

Pippi turned his head and didn't look at me at all, Chen Qingyi looked at me a little embarrassed, and asked in a low voice, "What's wrong with him?" ”

I said a little bitterly, "He wants me to go with you!" ”

"Pippi, haven't we all said okay, Daddy has his own things to do, and he will go to Ireland to see us in the future! ...... Also, whether he walks with us or not, he loves you, let's not force him, okay? ”

Pipsqueak still didn't look at me, and said coldly, "The plane is coming, I don't want to stay here!" ”

Hearing Pippi's words, my psychological defense line was about to collapse, I thought that Pipsqueak would leave Chen Qingyi calmly, but I didn't expect that he had been playing games with me all the time.

Pippi's cold words to me made me feel defeated, at this moment I really couldn't hold myself back, and I wanted to leave with Chen Qingyi desperately several times, this is not unfirm, but a father's instinct to drive.......

I have always understood that the premise of my stay in China is that Pipsqueak is willing to leave peacefully, and the way he is now, I am instinctively shaken, how can I bear to watch him leave with resentment and incomprehension towards me.

The more you choose, the more painful it becomes, especially as the flight time gets closer to departure...... And no matter how Chen Qingyi persuaded her, Pippi was always silent, or asked: Why hasn't the plane come yet?

In desperation, Chen Qingyi said to me: "You stick to your own ideas, and when you get there, I will slowly tell him about your difficulties!" ”

.......

The boarding prompt broadcast finally sounded, Chen Qingyi stood up from the seat with Pippi, Chen Qingyi hugged me, and said, "Take care, Pippi will be handed over to you and me, you can rest assured!" ”

"Hmm!" I answered, and then turned to Pipsqueak and said, "Pipsqueak let Daddy hug you, when Daddy is free, he will definitely go to Ireland to see you, in the name of Superman." ”

"Go away...... Pipsqueak pushed me away, carrying his bag on his back, and walked alone to the gate.

Looking at Pippi's weak figure, my psychological defense line was completely defeated, and looking at Chen Qingyi, the idea of leaving with them was about to blurt out......

Pippi, who didn't want to keep going, suddenly turned around and ran towards me with open arms: "I want Dad...... I'm not going anywhere, I'm going to be with my dad!! ”

----------------------------

The physical book can be customized, and there are currently three in total, which is the content of the first volume. 30 yuan per book, to show that I don't make money on this, mainly for readers to commemorate. The purchase is very simple, and there are already several book friends who have customized it.

When you find the menu of the printed book, click on it and click on the subscription, you will see this novel, the name of the physical book is "Utopia under the Candlelight", you pay attention to this.

It's up to you to buy a few copies, but the shipping cost is a bit high, and I think I really like it and don't care about that little shipping cost.

Conditions of purchase, register an account, and then deposit K coins. It's customizable.

If you like it, support it.,Buy a copy.,Or buy a set to keep as a souvenir.。。 There is a limit to the subscription time, and if there is a purchase demand, please try it as soon as possible.

I really won't buy it, so I will enter the group and ask, and the brothers who have bought it will teach you. (Group number: 294503973)

Here is the link to buy the book: http://topic: com/print/listBookPrint.action