Cheng Yanjiang, this name that has turned around in my heart thousands of times, is extremely clear in front of my eyes at this moment.

He wore a white shirt, not tall, a little thin, and straight. His eyes are clear and his voice is warm. He stood there like a tree on a spring morning, with the sun covered in dew. All at once it lit up the sky for my nineteen years old.

At that time, I was in the south, he was in the north, and we fell in love at a distance of 2,000 miles. We wrote emails, went to QQ, made phone calls, sent text messages, and I often sat in front of the window, looking at the birds flying in the sky and imagining what he looked like, and finally after three years, lovesickness became a disaster.

The first time we met was in my city, he went to Shanghai on a business trip, and on the way back he turned a corner to see me.

I still remember that it was dusk, the remnant sun dyed the western sky red, I was standing in the small square in front of the train station, I heard someone calling me, I looked back, and I saw him.

Girl, he called me.

Girl, he called me again.

Years later, I still remember that call vividly. He walked towards me in a white shirt, and I was stunned and couldn't make any sound.

Silly girl, you and I have the same thoughts. He stood in front of me and said this.

I choked up suddenly, rested my head on his shoulder, and my body trembled like a dead leaf in the autumn wind.

The two of them walked hand in hand on the streets of the city, and I said to him as I walked, this is the square I mentioned to you, and that is my favorite restaurant to go to, and I chattered, and he looked at me with a smile, girl, girl!

We had dinner at a restaurant called Sunny Days, and he ordered my favorite pork in the pot, and I ordered his favorite sauerkraut fish, and asked for two bottles of red wine.

I didn't drink very well, but I still drank a lot, and he said, girl, I like the way you drink. I said I like the way you look too, and I traced my fingers to his lips and smiled.

Two bottles of wine down, I was like a cat lying on his shoulder, I couldn't walk, it was he who carried me back to the hotel.

In the early spring of March, when the spring was cold, he carried me on his back and walked on the streets as cold as water.

In the hotel, on the double bed, we hugged each other tightly, and there was a white moon outside, so wet and bright. My tears fell, and I said, you, can't let me down!

Never live up to you! He said this to me.

That night, I wrapped myself around him like a little snake, breathing cold air in his ear. He called me softly, called me, girl, girl, girl!

Since then, he has often come to see me, fortunately, his business area is in my city, every morning, every noon, every night, we can't wait to stick together all the time, we have climbed the mountains together, seen the cherry blossoms, sat on the Ferris wheel, and the most we did was to linger on the double bed in the hotel, and listen to him call me a girl over and over again.

We loved each other so much that he got married in '07. In the wind of hunting, I only asked him one word, have you ever loved me?

Loved, still loved!

But I turned around coldly, didn't believe, didn't believe anymore!

He called me frantically, and when I didn't answer, he texted me, "Don't do anything stupid."

I laughed and texted him back: You don't have to worry, I'll live well and strongly.

My roommate, Sister Vera, watched over me day and night, hiding everything in the house that was edged. I said, what are you doing here? I don't want to die yet, I just can't eat.

On the seventh day, I got up and dressed up, and ate two portions of pork from the pot so hard that tears and snot flowed together. I know that love is gone, it's gone.

However, love has no past. He still came to my city to see me, and he said, no, we can't finish this life, marrying her is just the meaning of the family, just a responsibility! You are the beloved!

I didn't want to dwell on him anymore, I was tired and didn't have any strength. But when I turned around, he hugged me from behind, choked, girl, don't want me, please!

At that moment, my tears welled up, I wanted to leave, but I couldn't take a step. And so we were together again.

At that time, I had a job that others envied, and I had suitors around me, but there was a big shadow in my heart, and that shadow was him, and I couldn't fall in love with anyone else.

I couldn't resist the lovesickness, so I resigned, packed my luggage, and went to his city of Qinhuangdao.

In this strange city, I was lonely, I was cold, and I was overwhelmed. I said I didn't say what I wanted, just safety and warmth, but you couldn't give it to me.

He crushed me under him, kissed me over and over again, girl, give me a son. His voice was so emotional and gentle.

The Buddha said that it is doomed to go on a blind date with whom to be separated from whom, then, if you can't struggle, you will sink! Thinking, complaining, thinking, and thinking are all people who can't get it.

I raised a smile like a flower and asked him, did you give me safety and warmth after giving birth to my son?

Girl, you can't be so greedy, if you want to be safe, you can only exchange it for warmth.

What a selfish man, looking at the bright moon outside the window, my heart hurts, I miss the warm south, I miss my sister Vera. It's so cold here, it's not for me.

If you can't get it, then let it go, it's a hopeless relationship, from the beginning to now, it's been seven years, a whole seven years.

In seven years, I have gone from a happy woman to a face like water, and my face has smoked in loneliness, all for him.

It's over. That's the end of it! Before getting on the plane, I sent him a text message: I don't hate this flower flying away, I hate the West Garden when it is red, the rain has passed, a pool of pings is broken, not Yang Hua, a little bit is a tear.

Card, thrown into the sea, tears, sprinkled in the wind, staggered streamers, long fragrance of flowers, I thought that the moment was a lifetime.

Cheng Yanjiang, it's not my happiness! Xu Zheng, can't make me happy!

So, where is my happiness?