Soon I figured out the time and space I was in, Qinhuangdao in 1990, and I was only five years old. I was just found from the orphanage by my father Qin Siqian, and on the way back, I encountered a sniper, although Qin Siqian used his body to protect me, but my arm was still broken. As for why I am in the orphanage, and what is the relationship between Qin Siqian and me, I don't know for the time being. What I know is that my dad Qin Siqian is really as mixed with the underworld as I thought, I was surprised to know this answer, what an elegant person my dad is, he has a warm smile and slender fingers, I think he is more like an artist.

I really want to see what Qinhuangdao looked like in '90, and it must be different from what I saw in '08. But I didn't have a chance to go out, I was only a five-year-old child, how could my father let me go out. I could only sneak out when my father was not at home, I didn't see a single familiar view, even the streets I knew most were not what I remembered, I felt as if I had come to a completely strange place, I didn't know anyone, and no one knew me. This makes me a little lost, the city is so big, who am I? Where is my home?

There are many tall trees on the side of the road, and the big leaves block the sun, which is my favorite scenery before, and I like to walk on such streets, holding my lover's hand and walking forward step by step. And now I can only look up through the leaves of Ban Pa and see that the sky is set up in pieces, like a lattice, chaotic.

My dad was going to take me to kindergarten, but to be honest I didn't want to go, and the thought of being with a bunch of kids gave me a headache. But before I could protest, my father dismissed the idea himself, probably thinking that it was too unsafe to send me to kindergarten.

Daddy buys me a lot of delicious snacks every day, as well as a lot of beautiful picture albums and books, he will put on beautiful clothes for me every morning, comb beautiful pigtails, and then touch my face and say, "Nier, you have to be good at home alone, don't open the door to strangers casually, Daddy will go home early to accompany you." There was a deep sense of helplessness and indebtedness in his words, and I knew he was guilty of keeping me alone at home.

I don't think so, it's actually good to be alone at home, I'm a person who can endure loneliness, I'm not afraid of loneliness, and I'm used to being lonely. I sat on the sofa watching TV and eating snacks, or just leaned on the window and looked out, the sky was blue, the clouds were white, the sun was shining, there were children running and chasing in the distance, they were laughing happily, it turned out that only real children can have such carefree happiness, and I am not!

I turn on the stove and cook when I have nothing to do, and my cooking skills are quite good, which is what I practiced on those lonely days, and when I was alone, I practiced cooking, I learned to dance and play an instrument, so you see, loneliness is not a bad thing.

Daddy looked at a table of dishes and opened his mouth wide in surprise, he took my little hand and looked at it repeatedly, making sure it wasn't hurt, and then held me in his arms without saying a word. But I can feel the surging in his heart by leaning on his warm embrace, maybe he is also longing for his relatives, how warm Daddy's arms are, if it goes on like this, I will be happy!

Heaven does not fulfill people's wishes, probably used here. It was already night, and my father never came back, this was a situation that had never happened before, and I thought about what my father had done, and my heart began to get afraid, I was afraid that something would happen to my father, I was afraid that he would never come back, and I was afraid that no one would love me as much as he did.

I curled up on the couch like a small animal, buried my head between my legs, and hugged myself tightly. Daddy, where are you? Come back soon! I feel fluid flowing out of my eyes, my face is wet, am I crying? I haven't cried in a long time.

It was about eleven o'clock when the door opened, and I jumped up to open it, and I saw my father being held by a man, with bandages around his arms, and red blood oozing out. Daddy is hurt! As soon as this realization came out, I rushed over and hugged my father's legs, and didn't let go.

Daddy slowly squatted down and broke my hand away little by little, "Nier, it's okay, Daddy is okay, Nier is not afraid!" I bit my lip and nodded heavily, yes, it's okay, Daddy will be fine! But my body was shaking.

No, no, no! Daddy will be fine!

In the following days, my father was at home with me, and I was very well-behaved to pour water and serve food for my father, but occasionally I would wake up from a nightmare, and I dreamed that my father was gone, and I was alone. At this time, my father would hold me in his arms and comfort me very gently, but I couldn't sleep with my eyes wide open.

"What's wrong, Nil?" Daddy noticed my anomaly.

"I want to live under the sun, is that okay?" I don't think about whether my words will shock my father, I just know that I want this person not to be in danger anymore.

"Oh, does Nile like the sun?" Daddy looked at me for a while, smiled, pulled the corners of his mouth, and asked me like this.

"I don't really like the sunshine that much, I just hope that Daddy can never get hurt, and Nill and Daddy will be together forever." I said this to him.

Then I saw a flash in his eyes, he stretched out his hand and traced it on my face, his eyes were deep, as if he wanted to see through something, for a long time, when I thought I couldn't wait for an answer, I heard him say yes!

At first, some people came to my house, some of them called Daddy, some called Daddy, some called Brother Qian, they were locked in the study and talked, and I was in the living room chattering and eating the snacks they brought, and sometimes I could hear their arguments.

Occasionally, some words would float into my ears, and my father said, I have Nier now, I am no longer alone, I am tired, I can't fight, I don't want to fight, I just want to give Nier a stable life. Daddy's words are full of firmness, and there is such a power that people can't refute.

So the people who walked out of my house would always look at me, and I understood what was in their eyes, and it was called worthless.

I don't know what my dad sacrificed for me, but I know that soon I will be able to go out and play, go to school, and live under the sun like any other kid. I don't care if I can go out or study, what I care about is that my dad and I can finally live a normal life. At the same time, I also secretly told myself that I would not disappoint my father, and I wanted to let those people know that my father's giving up was worth it, and I was worth it.

It's only three months before Daddy withdrew, and all the industries that could be bleached were whitewashed, and all the ones that couldn't be bleached were given to his brothers, and they didn't have any nostalgia at all, which made Dao sigh Daddy's righteousness and marvel at his thunderous methods again, and they secretly rejoiced that there was no strong competitor, and there was no embarrassment for Daddy. Of course, there are also some brothers who do not want to beg for a living on the knife edge and follow their father to turn to legitimate business.