On the way back to the hotel, I just walked, hoping to give myself some time to think through a slow walk, and when I had enough time to think, I became more and more confused, and I was distraught, and ran frantically along the street, stepping on the street lamps and the remnants of trees......

As I ran, I seemed to see the lights shining again, but I was tired and had no strength to pursue it again, I put my hands on my knees, and looked up for a long time, but it suddenly stopped walking, keeping a distance from me.

I can't remember exactly when this light flashed in my fantasies, but I knew it would appear every time I was most helpless, but it never gave me direction, even teased me.

Its stubbornness, its mystery, its illusion, but it has a fatal attraction to me, which is why it is repeatedly imagined by me, but I have never been able to figure out what it represents, maybe it is an unfulfilled dream, maybe it is a woman who cannot be approached......

......

Sitting on the curb, I lit a cigarette, and in the smoke, I was extremely dazed, I hated this confusion, and I wanted to make a clean choice, but life gave me too many constraints that I couldn't break free from.

I lowered my head and watched the sweat fall from my forehead drop by drop, a tissue was handed to me, I raised my head, and it was Chen Qingyi standing in front of me.

"Wipe your sweat."

I took a tissue and wiped the sweat off my face, and Chen Qingyi sat with me on the edge of the road.

"Why are you here?"

"Actually, we met by chance, and I just wanted to take a walk." Chen Qingyi explained.

I didn't say anything, and after a moment of silence, Chen Qingyi asked, "What is Mr. Gao looking for you?" ”

"Drink tea and catch up."

Chen Qingyi smiled: "Actually, if you don't say it, I can imagine it...... He advised you to stay in the country, right? ”

I am not surprised by Chen Qingyi's unpredictable prophet, she is more delicate and intelligent than ordinary women.

Chen Qingyi continued: "And he made you shake, and made you entangled between going and not going.......

I nodded, in fact there was nothing to hide, and if I could ignore the choice, then I wouldn't have to run through the streets like crazy on this cold night.

Chen Qingyi looked at me, and for a long time she said in amazement: "Actually, I don't know if it's right to let you immigrate to Ireland, the reason why I did this is because Pippi, and I don't want my life to be stained again...... I once had a failed love, although I was kept in the dark and didn't know that my man already had a family, but the public opinion of the outside world would not care about this, and I still became a junior in other people's mouths...... I'm a perfectionist, so I left him ......"

Chen Qingyi said this, covering her face with her hands, not crying, but calming her emotions, for a long time she took off the hand to hide her face, smiled abruptly, and said: "Later, we got married, but married life is not as imagined, we have been suffering each other for a long time, but for the sake of the family, for the sake of Pipi, I insisted, but the more I insisted, the more I deviated, I finally knew that this marriage would not be perfect, so I gave up, but giving up means stains, I am not reconciled, why am I Chen Qingyi repeatedly defeated emotionally..... One evening before leaving Ireland, Linsey once said to me, maybe I don't love you much, but I am just unwilling...... She said: I don't know you, if I really love you, I should give you freedom, because what you need most is freedom, not a woman, so in the end she chose to see through and gave up on you completely! ”

After a period of silence, Chen Qingyi continued: "Actually, Lin Xi is only half right, I am indeed unwilling, but I know you, I have always known that you are a person who needs freedom, so you are very pitiful, because a person who is more admired by ordinary people for freedom, but life has given you the most constraints...... Believe it or not, I want you to immigrate to Ireland this time, and I'm more because of Pippi...... I really love him, although he is not my own, but this mother-son relationship is difficult to part, it is difficult to ......"

I looked up at Chen Qingyi, not to question her, I believe in her feelings for Pippi, otherwise she would not have kept in touch with Pippi after going to Ireland, let alone leave Pippi with 2 million and a set of real estate in Shanghai, she has no such obligation to Pippi at all, the reason why she does this is just the most primitive and greatest maternal love.

"Pippi was a very sensible and lovely child, and I really thought of him as my own, and every night in Ireland I would dream of him calling me mommy, of the past, of the writings he had read to me, of the paintings he had given me, and of the paintings he had given me, and I would cry....... Zhang Yixi, if you have enough reasons not to go, I won't force you, but you let Pippi go with me, the education and living environment over there will definitely be much better than here! ”

I looked at Chen Qingyi in amazement, her request surprised me, anyway, she is not Pippi's biological mother, and she is going to marry someone else after all, with a child with her ex-husband, not biological, this just thinking about it will feel inappropriate.

I shook my head and said, "It's not appropriate, and Pippi's grandparents won't agree to it, they can accept Pippi to leave, provided that I also immigrate together, you should understand this!" ”

"No one knows better than me that it is not suitable, but I really can't give up Pippi, I'm still young, I don't need to think about marriage too early, I'd rather live alone with Pippi until he is an adult!"

"Qingyi, this is not a joke......"

"Shall we ask Pipsqueak for her opinion?" Chen Qingyi looked at me very sincerely.

I shook my head resolutely.

"Zhang Yixi, you are so resolute, has it also been proved that you will not go to Ireland, in fact, your subconscious has already made a decision...... You love Angel and have always loved her, she was supposed to marry you, not me......" Chen Qingyi's voice was a little choked.

I have no words, it can be regarded as acquiescence, if Chen Qingyi does not propose to bring Pippi to Ireland, maybe I will not find that my subconscious has a choice, I want to stay in China, stay in China to help Angel shelter from the wind and rain, no matter what capacity.

Chen Qingyi nodded: "It was a mistake for us to choose marriage, originally I thought that I could make a mistake, but it turns out that you Zhang Yixi is still unruly in your bones, your silence, your obedience is just a kind of silent resistance...... Lin Xi can let go of his love for you, and I can too, I won't force you to go to Ireland, and you don't have to feel guilty for owing me...... But regarding the request to take Pippi to Ireland, I want you to think again, to consider, if Pippi himself is unwilling, I will not force it, if he does, I will give him the best life and the best education, I can assure you! ”

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I don't recommend waiting for the second update, because I'm not sure if I can write it.