Fourth, wine, loneliness, chaos, aroma

In the empty basement, the Ice Cube has been removed, and a white projection screen hangs on the wide wall, facing which are two comfortable chairs, behind which is an old projector. I loaded the restored film onto the projector and put my hand on the switch knob, but I couldn't move.

Henry, who was sitting in his chair, turned his head to look at me and asked, "What's wrong?" ”

"Are you sure you want me to watch it together?" I seriously asked, "According to the contract, the people in the studio can't ......" Before I could finish speaking, Henry impatiently interrupted, "Okay, don't tell me about contracts, responsibilities and other things!" Just tell me if you want to see it! ”

"Yes!" I replied decisively, all kinds of worries and entanglements were instantly left behind, and my ordinary curiosity occupied the absolute peak.

"Then press the switch and sit down!"

The image is projected onto the curtain: a raging ocean wave. This image reminds me of the opening of the documentary: a tranquil beach.

"Vague Fate" is the result of legendary female director Emma Murphy. Sloe's final film, made at the age of 60, is also her posthumous work. Emma's father was a well-known war correspondent, who took a lot of valuable video and audio footage during World War II and lost his life on the eve of the end of the war. Emma showed a talent for documentary filming while still in college, raising her own funds to make a documentary about war correspondents, including her father, and although her plan was to make a series of 10 episodes, the funds barely supported the filming of the first episode. Luckily, her dailies were appreciated by a well-known producer, who was well funded, completed the filming of the entire series, and became famous with the film.

Perhaps influenced by her father, Emma's documentaries are all about war, and she has a very strong grasp of grand themes, and the subject of her documentaries is often a group portrait, or a specific social group. No one expected that her work would focus on one person, or rather, a corpse, to be exact.

This is a "famous" corpse, ranking third among the world's seven unsolved mysteries. It (the corpse) appeared on Somerton Beach in Australia in 1948, facing the sea, brightly dressed, with slightly open eyes and staring into the distance. It was a tall, good-looking man. To this day, no one knows his name, let alone what happened to him. The small note found in the pocket of his clothes, as well as the word "TamamShud" (end) from the Rubai Book printed on the note, are even more reminiscent.

No one knows Emma. Why did Loos choose this 30-year-old mystery at the time? She organized cutting-edge scientific and technological experts to re-analyze the evidence of the case and found some new clues. She perfectly uses the language of cinema to follow these clues and solve the mystery as if she were peeling back the cocoon, but just when the audience feels extremely close to the mystery, the film comes to an abrupt end. Because the film at the end is missing, and Emma died of a sudden illness just after the film was finished.

All these things make "Vague Fate" a mystery and attraction that goes beyond the film itself. The opening line, voiced by Emma herself, became a textbook presence:

"Who is he? What's his name? Why is he alive? And why did it die? His fate is like a photograph of failure, vague and looming..."

My heart beats an average of 80 beats per minute, for a total of 352 beats in 4.4 minutes;

My breaths averaged 20 breaths per minute, 4.4 minutes for a total of 88 breaths.

In these 352 heartbeats and 88 breaths, the fate of the man who died mysteriously was like a puzzle, the last piece of the puzzle was filled in, and the picture on the picture was completely presented. I seem to have found the answer, and I don't. I suddenly understood that in fact, the main purpose of this film is not to "solve the case", clarify the identity of the victim, the cause of death, the murderer, the motive and the like, but to depict the loneliness in a person's fate, like the loneliness swallowed by the endless void. The loneliness of life eventually converges into the loneliness of death. This loneliness exists in the fate of the man who died mysteriously, in the fate of Emma, the director who may have realized that she will die soon, and in the fate of everyone, including me......

The crackling of the projector idling echoed in the basement, and the screen was lit up white. I tried to pull my mind back from the film, and suddenly I realized that Henry's hands on the armrest of the chair were tightly clasped together. When is it? Who took the initiative? I had complete amnesia. I turned my face to look at Henry, the light dim and I couldn't see his expression. I was pondering how I could withdraw my hand naturally and without a trace, when I heard him whisper, "Damn, this ending is too depressing......

I felt that it was inevitable to share my experience of watching the movie with him, and before the words came out, he turned on the ceiling light in the room with the remote control, and I couldn't help but squint my eyes to adapt to the light. When I opened my eyes again, his face appeared in front of my eyes, so close that I could clearly see his deep blue pupils and the thin lines at the corners of his eyes.

"I think we have to celebrate." Henry said.

"Qing, what to celebrate?" I tried to distance myself from him backwards, but I couldn't do anything about getting stuck in my chair.

"Celebrate that there is a secret in this world that only the two of us know." Without saying a word, he pulled me up from my chair.

I have to admit that the end of this film is really depressing, and it is a good choice to find a place to change your mood and jump out of this depressive heaviness.

I decided to accept his invitation and asked, "Should I go back and change my clothes?" ”

He looked at me, and I was wearing a light blue short-sleeved dress with simple lines and a well-fitting fit, with a few small Chinese buckles diagonally at the neckline.

"No," he said categorically, "that's good!" ”

When Henry's car pulled up in front of our destination, I regretted that I had listened to his words, "That's good!" ”。 If he takes me to restaurants, cinemas, galleries, parks...... It's "good", but it's "bad" if it's a bustling nightclub, because the standard for girls here should be: a low-cut tight skirt and 6-inch heels. However, even if Henry asked me to go back and change, I would not have such clothes, because I was not interested in nightclubs and social occasions at all. I meditate in my heart Eric's "wise saying": to turn out of place into a maverick......

The tall black doorman at the door of the nightclub greeted Henry familiarly and threw me a meaningful glance that I could almost hear the subtext of the glance: "Brother, the taste of choosing women has changed......

Henry took me to sit down on a relatively remote sofa, with a touchscreen embedded in the top of the glass coffee table in front of the sofa, on which he expertly ordered a drink, and motioned for me to choose. I was delighted to find several non-alcoholic drink names on the menu, ordered a bottle of lemon sparkling water.

Live bands on stage are working hard to play wild rhythms, the dance floor is filled with selfless swinging bodies, and the trays of service girls in voluptuous uniforms are filled with colorful and variously shaped bottles or glasses.

Henry didn't seem to intend to talk to me, and left his seat after two sips. He was clearly a popular man, exchanging glasses with some well-dressed people; was stopped by a few girls with hot bodies and heavy makeup to play with selfie (selfie) for a while; Say hello to the band on stage; Lingering in front of the bar for a while......

By the time he came back to me, he was seven points drunk.

The band's tune changed and began to sing a little psychedelic chant, presumably to give the highly excited, extremely consumed listeners a respite.

The wine glass in his hand was empty, so he picked up the bottle in front of me and drank it to the first floor, frowning and asking me, "What is this?" ”

"Lemon sparkling water," I replied calmly.

He pursed his lips, took a few more sips, and asked me, "Do you like it here?" ”

I half-jokingly asked, "Do you like lemon sparkling water?" ”

He turned his head to look at the dance floor and the stage and said, "Actually, I can't say if I like it here, I just think it's very lively...... His voice was inexplicably more lonely, "However, the excitement is not a cure-all..."

Although I don't know what he has experienced in his life, how he went from an ignorant teenager to a mature man, how he worked hard in the entertainment industry as a second- or third-tier actor, and how he coped with the changes of overnight fame...... However, I can imagine the loneliness in his heart, because everyone has this loneliness, but it is just a different trigger and a different form, so I said in passing: "Especially it can't cure a disease called loneliness." ”

He seemed a little surprised, and suddenly turned his head to stare into my eyes. Through the mist rising from the alcohol in his eyes, I seemed to see a beacon of light that shot straight into my heart.

"Why are you doing this? Restoring antiques? He asked, lowering his eyes.

I was stunned for a moment, this is definitely a difficult question to explain, and I don't want to talk about my growth story to the rhythm of R&B in a nightclub.

"I guess it was influenced by my parents. My dad was an antiquities expert and my mom was a physicist, so I mixed their expertise. ”

When I used the past tense when describing my parents, he probably noticed it and asked lightly, "When were they gone?" ”

"When I was 16 years old" I admired his indifferent attitude, and the last thing I could stand was to be asked about my parents with surprise, sympathy or compassion.

He was silent for a moment and asked, "What does your name, XIN, mean?" ”

"My mother is Chinese, and this pronunciation comes from a Chinese character, which means the fragrance of flowers." I replied.

"The scent of flowers......" he whispered to himself.

The music on stage returns to the buzz, and Henry leaves his seat to do what he should do in a nightclub. I sat back on the couch in a more comfortable position, admiring the frantic crowd and wondering what drove them to indulge......

No matter how lively the nightclub is, there are times when the crowd gradually thins out, and the band finishes playing and starts to pack up. Henry was already staggering when he came back again, he seemed a little panicked, and smiled childlike when he saw me.

"Great, you're still here, I thought you'd be gone......" he said happily.

If it weren't for the fact that he was a delirious drunk, I would have reasoned with him: you brought me here and left me alone, and it seems that you have no intention of sending me back (not in his present state).

Henry sat down next to me and muttered, "Don't go, I want you to stay with me..."

Looking at him like this, I can't help but think of Duras's golden sentence: "Drinking makes loneliness make a sound", he is no longer "drinking" but "drunk", and it is estimated that the "loneliness" in his body is thundering.

"Don't worry, I won't leave you ......alone," I replied casually, and before I could finish speaking, Henry's massive body leaned towards me, and I instinctively reached out to hold him, only to be twisted by his weight into his arms. His head rested on my shoulder for a moment, then slid down onto my lap, then simply used my leg as a pillow, closed his eyes, and lay comfortably on the couch.

My mind started racing and what to do next. For humanitarian reasons, I really can't just leave the unconscious Henry here, after all, he is a celebrity, he has a big target, and there is a high possibility of being trapped. But with Henry at least 6 feet 1 inch tall and weighing 180 pounds, how am I going to get such a behemoth away? Of course I can't do it on my own, I have to find a reliable helper, and I suddenly remembered that I had seen his assistant at Henry's house, and he was also a tall man, but I had to ask Henry for his phone number.

I looked down at Henry, who was indeed a good-looking face, a young man full of sunshine, but his brows were tightly knit together. I reached out and brought it to his brow, trying to gently rub the hard bump away. The method was successful, and Henry's eyebrows suddenly opened, and the face instantly changed to calm and clear.

I was satisfied with my results and was about to take my hand away, but Henry suddenly opened his eyes, grabbed my hand, and then pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. I was stunned by his sudden movement, an almost unfamiliar man, such an intimate gesture...... What's going on?

Henry closed his eyes again contentedly, and I suddenly remembered to ask for the assistant's phone number while he woke up!

"Henry, Henry, how many phone numbers is your assistant? Wake up, wake up, we have to go home, I can't take you back alone..."

Henry still had his eyes closed, and said something indistinctly, and I leaned closer to try to discern, and finally heard a clear sentence, "Don't worry, there's an old fellow..."

"Old man? Who's the old guy? Henry, who's the old fellow? I couldn't help but raise my voice, but Henry was indifferent to this, but a penetrating voice sounded in the air: "I'm the old fellow"

I quickly looked up and saw the tall black doorman standing at the table. He smiled kindly and said, "I've already called Henry's assistant, he'll be there in a moment, don't worry..."

Looking at the old guy's familiar look, it seems that this kind of thing is not once or twice.

Finally handing Henry over to his assistant, I rushed to the airport in the faint morning light.

I rarely stay up late, and I'm not good at staying up late, pouring N cups of espresso, and finally I got home, had a brief phone call with Jasmine and took a random shower, and I poured into the bed I had missed for a long time to make up for sleep.

By the time I woke up again, it was already dark outside the window. When I opened my phone, I found more than a dozen new messages, a large part of which were from Henry:

"Where are you? Are you gone? ”

"Are you still in Los Angeles? Which hotel are you staying in? ”

"I called your studio and your assistant said you're back in San Francisco, why didn't you answer the phone?"

……

"I think we need to talk about it, there's something we have to tell you."

"Is this thing yours? When I woke up, I found it in my hand. ”

The message was accompanied by a photo, a thin bracelet embellished with tiny red coral beads. This is my bracelet, which I think fell when Henry's assistant lifted him up from the couch and I broke free of his hand. It's a birthday present from Damai, and I'll have to find a way to get it back.

So, I replied to Henry:

"Yes, I'm back in San Francisco. Yes, this is my bracelet, thank you for helping me keep it, please send it to my studio. If there's anything you need to talk about, feel free to call me. ”

After clicking the "send" button, I suddenly regretted it a little, and I was very worried about the misunderstanding caused by the last purely polite and polite "call me at any time". As soon as the thought of regret came to mind, the phone rang and the screen read: "Henry"

I hesitated for a moment but answered, and after a feed, there was a strange silence on the other side, almost making me think that the cell phone signal was cut off.

"Listen to me," Henry's voice was serious, making me a little nervous, "you're not the type I like, that type of girl, you're too skinny to be sexy enough; You're too smart to guess what you're thinking; Your lack of enthusiasm makes it difficult to approach......"

I think that no matter how good-tempered a person is, he should be angry when he encounters this kind of "special call to humiliate". Besides, if you like to be big-chested and brainless, you like to go, why do you want to belittle me based on this!

Seeing that he was a client of the studio, I suppressed my anger and said coldly, "Thank you for letting me know this, good luck and goodbye ......"

"Wait a minute! Don't hang up yet! Listen to me," he shouted on the other end of the phone.

"You don't I'm the type I like, but I don't know why, what the hell happened, I think, I love you...... I always want to deny it, tell myself that it's impossible, it's impossible, but I can't deny it, it's there, it's real......"

Okay, I'm already starting to doubt my own IQ, is this the legendary "first suppressed and then raised" narrative? This confession, no, it doesn't seem to be a "confession", the three words that pass by in this passage - "I love you", are they "I love you" in the usual sense? I suddenly thought that he might have burned his brain with alcohol, which caused this short-circuit confusion.

"I think I'm completely confused," Henry realized, "this is not normal, very abnormal, you must have cast some Chinese magic on me!" ”

I really convinced him, I couldn't cry or laugh, and replied to him angrily: "China has no magic, China has four major inventions." ”

"Then you have given me the 'Four Great Inventions'!" He was quite aggrieved.

I could only be speechless and listened to him continue to express his "high opinions".

"I feel like I have to think about it, I don't want to make a mistake for both of us. Let's not meet in person for a while, and we won't talk on the phone again. ”

Ha, I completely agree with this suggestion, and this sentence can be said to be the most pleasant sentence to listen to in the whole phone call, I can't wait, dry and crisp answer: "Okay!" Good bye! ”

Unexpectedly, the other end of the phone rang again, "Wait! Voice.

"You, what do you think, about me, about us......"

If it weren't for the fact that I had so much important data stored on my phone, I would have wanted to slam it to the ground. I used the last bit of restraint to say to him, "Wait until you think it through yourself, and then ask me what I think!" Again! See! ”

Then hang up, then turn off, and throw the bed.

I paced back and forth in the room for a while, feeling that I had to talk to someone to defuse my emotions. A few names come to mind:

Jasmine? No, she is a die-hard fan of Henry, and it is estimated that whatever Henry says is right in her opinion.

Damai? Forget it, the chaos of his love logic is the same as Henry's, maybe it's because of this that they became friends.

Eric? That's right, he's the right fit!

I turned on my laptop and dialed Eric's video call, and it was quickly connected, and Eric's face appeared on the screen, and he said with a smile, "Little cutie, you still haven't slept so late?" ”

I was speechless for a moment, not knowing how to describe my current state of mind.

"Ouch, what's wrong? Who you off like this? ”

Sure enough, it was my brother, and he could see my emotions at a glance.

"Yes, it's a man! He, he even said to me......" Before I could finish speaking, Eric suddenly interrupted me: "Wait, wait, dear, are you going to talk to me about relationships?" ”

"Relationship problems?" I thought for a moment and said, "Well, even if it'......"

"Oh my God, I've been waiting for this day for a long time!" Eric was serious and a little excited, he sat up straight, and said very solemnly: "As an older brother, it is an important responsibility and mission to answer the emotional distress of my sister, rest assured, I will treat your questions with the most sincere, objective and pertinent attitude, of course, if you don't want to listen to my advice, I can also be a pure listener, never make irresponsible comments!" ”

How does this passage sound so much like the referee's oath at a sports meeting? I don't know what book he read about being a good brother. I didn't care so much about it, and gave a brief account of what the "chaotic Henry" had done. Eric listened attentively, and after a paragraph of my accusation, Eric suddenly laughed: "What an interesting man......"

"Interesting? Henry? What's interesting? I asked rhetorically.

"He doesn't think you're the type he likes, it's actually because he's never seen your 'type', you're unique, with a delicate little face, big shining eyes, a little brain that always has all kinds of fresh ideas, and an unexpectedly powerful mind...... How could he have met such a girl before......"

When my brother analyzed me like this, my anger began to subside, and I was even a little embarrassed to be praised.

Eric then asked me, "What do you think?" Do you feel anything strange about him? You know, sometimes inexplicable anger is also a 'strange feeling'? ”

"I don't think my anger is 'inexplicable'!" I whispered.

"Alright, little frog (Eric's calls me that when I'm angry), now I'll pass you a questionnaire, and you can answer it as quickly as you can, intuitively."

"Questionnaires? What is the questionnaire for? I asked

"A questionnaire to test your feelings for a person of the opposite sex."

"And such a questionnaire? Who wrote it? ”

"I, your dear brother, have it for you!"

It dawned on me that Eric's statement that "I've been waiting for this day for a long time" was true.

There weren't many questions in the questionnaire, so I quickly answered them and sent them back to Eric. He put on his old-fashioned glasses, looked at them thoughtfully, and asked me, "Do you want to know the answer?" ”

"Yes," I replied honestly.

"Well, for now, you don't love him, or you haven't fallen in love with him. But you don't hate him as much as you think. He took off his glasses, looked at me and said, "Would you like to hear my opinion?" ”

"I didn't take this questionnaire too seriously, but being able to share my distress with Eric so happily has calmed my emotions. Although I already had an idea in my mind, I decided to listen carefully to Eric's advice considering the feelings of this good brother.

"Don't meet for a while, I'll send you another set of questionnaires to test after a while......"

"And Questionnaire B?" I said in amazement.

"Of course! There are also C, D, E...... Depending on the situation...... "Eric said earnestly.

I giggled and said to Eric, "I love you, Eric. ”

He also smiled and said, "I love you too." ”

"Okay, just do as you say, anyway, Henry also said that he would not meet for the time being, and he would not talk on the phone for the time being......"

Eric winked slyly and said, "I bet he can't do it 100 percent, this fool of love is like a little bee, no matter how dizzy he is, he will also seek your fragrance." He clicked a few clicks of the mouse, and Joan Jett's song "I Hate Myself For Loving You" came to the computer.