Dr. Wang hanged herself, and when we arrived, the whole room smelled of death and despair, and her face was already purple at that time, and she must have cut herself off from last night.

I'm very sad, Song Jia and Dongdong too, although they don't have much communication with Dr. Wang, but seeing a life pass away in front of your eyes, even if they are iron-blooded and ruthless Jianghu people, they will feel sorry.

But on the other hand, this is not a relief for her, not long after her husband died, her daughter also left, leaving alone and she could not see any hope, because her future seemed to be nothing but despair.

We often say, "You are not even afraid of death, but you are afraid of living?" This sentence is wrong, the joy of life is equal to the fear of death, and the suicide is not afraid of living, they just have no reason to live, because the reason for living is always in the future. But if life is full of suffering in front of him and there is no hope for the future, he will definitely not be afraid of death, he will die calmly.

Because death is only a momentary pain, but living is equivalent to perpetuating the pain, what is the difference between that feeling and death? Yes, but it's just the difference between chronic suicide and immediate death.

For those who are dying, living is not instinct, but courage, belief, choosing to end their lives, not because they are afraid to live, but in their opinion, it takes courage to live more than to die.

Of course, I'm not saying that this idea is correct, what I want to say is that everyone in this world who can survive is amazing, because you have experienced so much pain, you have come through, you have not escaped, so please keep your pride and be brave to continue to live!

Like me, like everyone in this world who is going through a tribulation.

Song Jia soon called the police, the police took Dr. Wang's body away, and a few of us also went to the police station to record a confession, this is suicide, there is no other reason, so after we recorded the confession, the body was left in the morgue by the police, Xu Jie's funeral will be held tomorrow as scheduled, the difference is that it will be held together with Dr. Wang's funeral.

When I came out of the police station, it was already ten o'clock in the evening, and I was in a state of confusion all day, and it was a day full of gloom and sadness to receive the blows that came one after another.

I lit a cigarette, Dongdong and Song Jia were by my side, he had been comforting me, I listened quietly, my heart did not fluctuate, it turned out that when a pain was extreme, he would become a state of numbness, as if nothing could hit him.

I smoked slowly, looking at the traffic on the road, this world, without anyone, will run as usual, and the world will not end because of someone's departure.

What happens is called reality, can reality be changed? Yes, what you do now will become a reality in the future.

I don't want anything to happen to anyone around me, so what I should do is make sure that happens, so I have to pick myself up and protect everyone right now.

All the injustices in this world are because of the lack of ability of the parties, I want to become stronger, stronger than anyone else, as long as this is the case, I can protect everything I have now!

The departure of Xu Jie and Dr. Wang told me this, so that it could be regarded as an explanation to the deceased.

Hand over? Many people live to confess, I confess to you, you confess to him, he confesses to me, I confess to myself, so some people will write a diary.

The purpose of writing a diary is to make it easier to look back on the past after many years, whether it has progressed or regressed, which is to explain to yourself and proof of survival.

That night, I didn't go home after recording the confession, but went to Xu Jie's residence again, I had to pack up Xu Jie and Dr. Wang's belongings, and in Xu Jie's room, I found the diary she had written.

This is the deepest part of the heart of the woman I love the most, and I can't help but ask myself, how much do I know about her?

When I opened the diary, the first thing I felt was Xu Jie's familiar smell.

This diary was written three years ago, that is, when I returned to Longcheng from Mingcheng and officially stepped into the rivers and lakes.

June 21st, Qing, I came back from Mingcheng today, I'm really angry, Chen Ge, this bastard, actually messed around with other girls in Mingcheng, although I was very angry, but if he explained it to me in person, maybe I would forgive her, sometimes I really hate myself, so I don't fight, every time he says a few good words, I forgive him, I don't know if she will not cherish me more and more, I waited for him at the airport for a long time, he still didn't come, I was really scared, did he not love me anymore?

On August 1st, Yin, the little brother came back, and he was messing with me in front of Andy, he was jealous, although it was a little bad, but I couldn't suppress the joy in my heart, at least it showed that he still cared about me, he said that he promised my dad to take care of me for the rest of my life, I was really moved, but I have a task, Andy is a bad person, she is mixed with Luo Wentao, it will definitely be bad for the little brother, I must protect the little brother!

On September 10th, Xiaoyu, the little brother was arrested, saying that he killed someone, I heard Wang Tao say, the murderer is very likely to be Andy, so I want to go to Andy tonight, take out his words, rescue the little brother, he protected me before, this time I want to protect him!

February 11th, Qing, I haven't written a diary for a long time, this diary is what I accidentally saw today, it turns out that Chen Ge is right, he is really my boyfriend, but I really don't like him very much, it should be because of the loss of memory, I instinctively dislike the tone of his speech, but open the memory, it seems that the diary I write every day is about him, it seems that I used to really like him.

On March 1st, heavy rain, I had a fight with Chen Ge today, I said all the thoughts in my heart, I said that I don't have to be with him, he looked sad and angry, and scolded me, I decided to ignore him, but why, I was very sad in my heart, I wanted to cry, as if I wanted to leave him, I was sad to death, I was really angry!

July 4th, Xiaoyu, my memory recovered, very suddenly, I don't know what's going on, but I'm very happy, during this time of losing memory, my little brother didn't give up on me, although he was busy all day, but he would still let his little brother accompany me and protect me, although I would lose my freedom if I was protected, but, this is also my little brother for my good, it also means that he is very nervous about me, people say that gangsters are not nervous about their own women, haha, little brother, this fool, is not like a gangster, So I decided not to tell him about my memory recovery first, so that he could be more nervous about me, and he didn't have time to pay attention to Jiang Yufei and Zhou Lian, the two vixens!

On August 5th, Qing, my brother went to the island country, I still didn't tell him about my memory, but he was really good to me, I felt a little guilty, I went to the square today, I saw someone propose, I was very moved, I don't know when Brother Chen is a fool, when will he marry me, it seems a bit forced to marry, but if you marry him, you will be very happy, my mother told me before, women should worship men, men should love women, I worship him, he also dotes on me, I just don't know if it's the same for other women, he's so good, there's no shortage of good women around him, and I don't know if he will choose me in the end, then again, what does he like about me, like me to take the initiative, or am I cute? It's annoying.

September 1st, Yin, the little brother is back today, I plan to pick him up at the airport, and then confess to him that I have recovered my memory, and I don't know if he will be angry, he is my stupidest boyfriend, except for loving me and Huaxin, nothing else has been done, but speaking of which, I seem to be his first love, which makes me very proud, at least I am ahead of other women, I know, Zhou Lian and Jiang Yufei both like him, he is so good, it is normal for women to like him, it is really insecure to fall in love with an excellent person, But if I could do it all over again, I would still transfer to Hanoi Middle School that day, confess to him without hesitation, and be with him without hesitation.

Why? It's because of these experiences between me and him, whether it is good, bad, painful or happy, every minute and every second I don't want to give up to others, I just hope that the person who has been with him all these years is me, and then one day he gets drunk and thinks that people are also me, not those who are much more perfect than me.

Until now, I insist that no one in this world likes him more than me, whether it is Zhou Lian or Jiang Yufei, they don't love my little brother as much, and if a woman's love is too much, it will become cheap, but I don't feel at a loss, I just have to like him more, I can't wait to convert my liking for him into a label with countless zeros, stick it on him, if anyone wants to love her, they will have to offer a higher price than me.

What Zhou Lian, Jiang Yufei, Lin Xiao, I'm not afraid of you, let the horse come over, I've always been the first to get there, so I decided to force him to marry tonight!

The diary is gone here, I finished reading it all, and I was surprised to find that in this diary, the most common word is not sunny or cloudy, but my name, yes, every diary of Xu Jie has me, whether it is sweet and sour, I gave her.

I love Xu Jie, but I never thought that she loved me so deeply, as if she was born to love me, I know, I'm afraid I won't meet a woman who likes me how much in the future.

Why? I realized how late, I didn't deserve her at all, her love was so selfless, and I, what have I done all these years?

I covered the diary and lay on Xu Jie's bed, as if she was hugging me, and this night was another night full of tears and moonlight.

I secretly swore that no matter who killed Xu Jie, I would make whoever pay!