Pei Yanqiao has been hospitalized abroad for a few days, it is also the time for annual leave in China, Pei Yanjin has nothing too important in China for the time being, and Ning Xiao is not to mention, Ning Xiao has lived casually these years, except for the years when she studied medicine, she has hardly stayed in a fixed place for a long time, and now Pei Yanjin has become the goal of her life, of course, wherever Pei Yanjin goes, she will follow.

So the four of us stayed together, with Pei Yanjin and Ning Xiao here, Pei Yanqiao and I were not so tense and-for-tat, a small part of the time I stayed in the hospital with Pei Yanqiao, he was resting on the hospital bed, and I was holding a laptop on my knees, curled up in the corner of the sofa, dealing with the affairs of the Wei family chaebol.

Pei Yanqiao sometimes woke up and asked me to pour water for him, or take fruit, but basically I pretended not to hear and ignored him, I knew that he actually just wanted to talk to me, and in the end he hurt himself by finding himself bored, and he no longer took the initiative to deal with me, and the two of us fell into a long-term stalemate.

And Ning Xiao took Pei Yanjin to many places for dates, rushed back at mealtime, and the four of us ate together, and Pei Yanqiao still trapped me in the ward at night.

He became paranoid and willful, thinking that in this way we could be together, and I would not be able to escape and marry him sooner or later, and I did not want to deal with him, because even if he didn't force me to stay, I stabbed him in the heart, and I would wait until he was healed before leaving.

I began to lose sleep all night long, every night just sitting there watching the snow outside the window, the cold wind howling outside, and the silence indoors, I seemed to watch a grand and quiet set, recalling the bits and pieces of me and Duan Xuchu over and over again.

After so many years, I still remember every scene, as if Duan Xuchu handed me the business card when he was young, and he was waiting for me downstairs in the dormitory with roses, it only happened yesterday, just in front of me, and every second of the memory makes my heart ache like a knife.

But I like the feeling.

I don't want to drive Duan Xuchu out of my mind, this life is so long, if I don't often draw his outline, I am afraid that he will soon blur and soon be forgotten by me.

I don't want to forget him, I don't want to do it for the rest of my life, losing him is the most painful thing in my life, and I don't want to erase the traces of his existence again.

Pei Yanqiao probably thought that I was sleeping obediently in the inner room every night, one late night he pushed the door open and came in very lightly, I suddenly got up from the darkness, but startled him, through the neon lights spilling from the window to see his unnatural look, I squinted my eyes and asked coldly: "What are you doing?" ”

"Nothing." He avoided my gaze and made a logical excuse, "Just to see if you escaped." ”

I pointed to the window, stared at him and asked, "Jump from here?" ”

"One by one." Pei Yanqiao's face changed, and he stepped forward and called my name in a low voice, "Can we have a good talk?" ”

Up close, I saw his pained eyes, which were faintly bloodshot, apparently because he hadn't rested well, but I didn't back down, "What are you talking about?" If it's for me to marry you, then needless to say, I'm still the answer, impossible. ”

"How can you be so cold and hot to me?" Pei Yanqiao questioned me like this, but his tone was not stern, but full of self-deprecation and sadness, "If you didn't intend to accept me from the beginning, why did you give me a chance to get close to you?" There is nothing wrong with me being stalked, but you did not reject me ruthlessly, it was you who gave me hope, hooked my heart little by little, and made me sink step by step. ”

"You are willing to share a bed with me, and I therefore take this as a further hint from you to our relationship, and it is because you gave me this illusion that I felt that it was a matter of course that we had sex on the night you were drugged, and now you have put all the blame away from me and treated me like an enemy. Wei Weiyi, you can't do this, even if you don't agree to marry me, can't we go back to the past? ”

Most of what Pei Yanqiao said is the truth, I can't defend it, but he has a perception that is wrong, in fact, I never thought of really using him to get rid of Duan Xuchu, if it caused harm to Pei Yanqiao, then I was also unintentional.

Because Duan Xuchu and Pei Yanjie got married, even if Duan Xuchu was trying to save me, my heart was still hurt deeply, I said that I didn't blame him, I forgave him, and even thanked him, but this incident stabbed me in the heart and gave me the most fatal blow, but it is also a fact.

And whether it is a human or an animal, the instinctive reaction after the injury will definitely avoid the source of the injury, so after this I chose to escape, I was afraid of being hurt again, and when I tried to redeem it several times at the beginning of the paragraph, I simply said things against my will, and did not leave the slightest room for myself or him.

I'm afraid to go back again, we still have no results, I can bear it once, but if I get it and lose it the second time, even I don't know if I still have the motivation to live, no one knows that I lost my child in the middle of the womb, my younger brother also died, I was blind and receiving treatment, and during the period of chaos in the Wei family's chaebol, how strong my psychology was to support it until now.

I have never wanted to take over the Wei family chaebol, I want to live a simple and ordinary life, with Nannan and Dr. Zhou, and Mao Mao, my life is enough, but when the so-called family mission and the industry that my father has painstakingly managed for many years are about to come to naught, and those who are still loyal to my father persecute me.......... Under the pressure of waiting, I was a woman less than 30 years old, but I was forced to be the controller of such a huge Wei family chaebol, at that time I was lonely and afraid, how much I wanted Duan Xuchu to be by my side, support me, and help me.

But in those months, he disappeared.

I don't blame him, I only rely on myself, I slowly become stronger, even indifferent, to protect myself in this way, I have to leave a lot of things, refuse everything related to Duan Xuchu, sealed in the deepest part of my heart and force myself not to touch it, only occasionally take out the ring in the dead of night, thinking about what he once did for me, the promises and love words he said, I felt a heart-rending pain.

But I had to let myself go quickly, because once I fell into the memories of self-pity, I didn't know if I could handle it and if I would cut my wrists a third time under such pressure.

I didn't play with Pei Yanqiao's feelings, I was very serious about developing with him, as long as he was willing to wait, maybe after many years, I would forget Duan Xuchu, quit Duan Xuchu, and no longer love Duan Xuchu, then maybe I would choose to marry Pei Yanqiao, who also loved me deeply.

However, after all, I still overestimated myself and underestimated the mark that Duan Xuchu left on my life.

I deliberately avoided the memories related to him and didn't let myself think about him anymore, but after a few months, when I just heard his deep voice that morning, the long-buried feelings suddenly surged, and the instant outburst made me uncontrollable, and I almost surrendered, but the reality told me that I couldn't do this, so I fled abroad, and I didn't expect Duan Xuchu to take the initiative to chase after me.

His sentence that I am his child's mother, that sentence that I have lost weight, his caring and distressed words, at the dinner table he picked up vegetables for me, gently told me, when he walked he was afraid of me cold, hugged my shoulder, he held me in his arms and kissed me, and whispered to me how much he missed me......... I was once again caught in the entanglement of whether to escape, or finally desperate to love again, I realized that loving one was not something I could control at all, I wanted to forget Duan Xuchu, and instead fell in love with Pei Yanqiao, but I failed.

Duan Xuchu, this man has long been integrated into my flesh and blood, has become a part of me, and has become one with me, I can't be separated from him in this life, and when I finally realized that even if I don't love him in this life, I can't accept Pei Yanqiao, I made up my mind to reject Pei Yanqiao.

It was precisely because I didn't want to hurt Pei Yanqiao that I no longer ran away but chose to face up to my feelings for Duan Xuchu, I completely pushed Pei Yanqiao away, and I hope there is still time to redeem this mistake.

I thought that after I stabbed him, he would hate me from now on, at least he would give up on me and no longer waste time on me, but look for the right one for him, but until now I didn't know that Pei Yanqiao loved me and loved me so crazy, he not only resented me, but didn't even care about his own life, and used the extreme means of imprisonment to let me stay by his side.

The three of us have come to this point, and I can't sort out the rights and wrongs, I can't tell who is right and who is wrong, who has hurt whom, I just know that the three of us are exhausted and bruised.

I hurt myself, and I was even more painful than the pain at the beginning of the paragraph, and that day he hugged me in the car and whispered the most affectionate and cruel words, "Don't invite me to get married, or I will kill you with my own hands and let you die in my arms." I was thinking that if I could get married, I would definitely invite him to participate, and I would die in his hands and in his arms.

For the past few days, my mind has always flashed the back of him turning and walking into the snow that day, so sad and lonely, I can feel his pain, how I want to rush over and hug him, tell him that we are not over.

But in the end, I just squatted by the car and cried, not because I didn't have the courage anymore, but we still loved each other deeply, but we were already physically and mentally exhausted, and we didn't have the strength to love anymore, so in the end we could only hold on to our memories, laughing or crying, and we were lonely until we were old.

***

The four of us went to a movie together that afternoon.

In foreign films, a family officer falls in love with his subordinate's wife, and most of the time the male protagonist is pursuing the female protagonist, and the female protagonist is always not brave enough to retreat.

There was a passion scene halfway, Pei Yanqiao sat next to me, in order to avoid embarrassment, I was going to go back first, who knew that there was a heavy shoulder, I turned my head and saw that Pei Yanqiao was asleep, so I naturally leaned my head on my left shoulder.

I stared at him for a few seconds in the not-so-bright light, he was still the same as before, covered with black and thick eyelashes when he slept, and the contours of his fair side face were as shiny as jade, such a delicate appearance, plus he was especially obedient when he was asleep, Pei Yanqiao was beautiful and pure like an angel at this time.

I remembered that he asked me if I could go back to the first meeting, and I thought it was impossible, there was no way for the three of us to go back between me and him, him and Duan Xuchu.

The faint smell of good smell and the scorching temperature on Pei Yanqiao's body were transmitted to me, I frowned and pushed him, but he still didn't wake up, so I motioned to Pei Yanjin over there to get him over.

Pei Yanjin didn't say anything, and carefully dragged the back of Pei Yanqiao's head with his palm, letting Pei Yanqiao sleep on his shoulder, and also adjusted the position that was comfortable enough for Pei Yanqiao to sleep.

Fortunately, the passion scene passed quickly, and the love affair between the male and female protagonists in the film finally came to an end, and it was raining heavily that day, and the male protagonist went to find the female protagonist, standing outside the female protagonist's door and asking the female protagonist if she would like to go with him.

The female owner said that she didn't want to ruin the male owner.,At the same time, on the other hand, she does love the male owner.,But it's not enough to love the male owner to the extent that she can let go of everything.,Tears slowly slipped out of the male owner's red eyes.,He said he couldn't breathe without the female owner.,Can't live.,Suddenly took out a pistol without warning.,Go down to the position of your heart.。

The picture seemed to suddenly stand still, and when the heroine in the film was so frightened that she stepped back, I suddenly raised my hand to cover my mouth, and the tears in my eyes gushed out uncontrollably.

It's not because I'm so involved in the play, but I remember that Duan Xuchu once said the same thing to me, and for some reason the man in the film overlapped with Duan Xuchu, and finally became Duan Xuchu.

I stood up suddenly, ignoring Pei Yanjin's inquiries behind me, ran out and started the car, driving towards the residence where Duan Xuchu and I had lived.

In this short period of time, my mind flashed again and again that the heroine of the film squatted under the corridor, and the snow fell on her, and she cried heartbreakingly.

When the male protagonist died on the battlefield and asked someone to hand over the photo to her, I think she must have regretted it, she didn't love it deeply, not enough, but if she could do it all over again, she would definitely leave everything behind at that time, even if she was irresponsible, she would still choose to elope with the male protagonist without hesitation, and fly away.

Love has always been selfish.

I stopped the car and ran to the door, took out the key to open the door, but found that the door lock had been changed sometime, and then looked into the living room through the glass window, I was stunned, surprised that the furnishings inside were so unfamiliar, I thought it was because I hadn't come back for too long, and then looked carefully.

It's still not what I'm familiar with.

I instantly understood that Duan Xuchu might have sold this place, or maybe he had replaced everything.......... In any case, this place no longer belongs to the "our home" that Duan Xuchu and I have lived in for two years, and what he said that night.

I rang the doorbell with trembling and stiff hands, and when the new owner came out to open the door, I explained to her that I was the old owner of the place and wanted to go in again, and the other party agreed.

When I walked into the living room, I looked around, there were no pillows I embroidered on the sofa, no tea sets and fruit knives I bought, no Christmas tree in the corner, and even the style of the walls had changed......... Everything has changed, I stand in the huge space, and I can't find the slightest trace of me and Duan Xuchu living here together.

I walked up the stairs with a slow pace, pushing open the door to my bedroom, then to my guest room, then to my study....... Finally, there is the room, and as expected, all the rooms have become different at some point.

Duan Xuchu, is this what you want me to see?

I thought of the flowering phoenix tree he said, and I forced my emotions to walk to the yard in a trance, it was still an unfamiliar environment, and not a single grass or tree was familiar to me.

I didn't see the flaming phoenix blossoms on the trees and the red carpet of falling petals on the ground, I stood on the empty road, only the snowflakes fluttering one by one, and the eyes were as white as the wasteland.

After a long time, I walked to the place where the phoenix tree was originally planted, and the stump had not yet been disposed of by the new owner, I reached out and brushed away the thin layer of snow on it, and saw the rings of the tree that were exposed, so I counted them in order: one, two, three...... Nine, ten, a full ten circles, which means that the tree has a full ten years.

Only then did I know the real reason why Duan Xuchu planted this phoenix tree, he was actually using the phoenix tree to commemorate the time from our acquaintance to the present.

Decade........ A whole decade, so long, and yet so short.

I was so heartbroken that I collapsed on my knees on the cold ground, cried in the cold winter air of heavy snowfall, and I don't know how long it was, but in my dim vision I saw that the earth in a certain position next to the tree stump seemed to be turned over, and I didn't know if the new owner was going to dig up the roots.

I tried to dig it down with my hands until my palms were muddy and bloody, and I saw a small black square box, which I slowly opened with my frozen hands.

It contained the pendant that Duan Xuchu gave me for the first time a few years ago, as well as the bracelet and ring I took off and put at home in China, and there was a piece of paper pressed underneath, with these lines of strong and smooth words written, "I don't know if you will come back here, whether you will see these things that I gave you, and finally buried like buried love." ”

"Wei Weiyi, thank you for loving me, sometimes I want to ask you what you are relying on, but this answer has actually been in my heart——— everything is because I love you, I am willing to be hurt by you, but not in the future, you finally squandered my love, from now on, I will not love you again........."

The jewelry was scattered in place, and in the end, I just hugged the box tightly, as if I was holding the last souvenir left for me by Duan Xuchu, crying bitterly in the ice and snow.

At the end of the story, Duan Xuchu is still alive, and what died is our decade-long love.