On the roof of the building, Lin Ke was condescending, looking at the room a little distractedly, he refused to go back to rest alone, so I had to wait with him.

Actually, I know very well that even if they torture each other, he is still infatuated with Mo Qiu in the most imperceptible way, maybe some people can't understand this desperate infatuation, but from my short-term contact with Mo Qiu, she is not a woman who can be judged by appearances, on the contrary, she has a temperament that fascinates men.

And an excellent man like Lin Ke, even an extremely good, short-tempered woman like Amy can be impressed, which shows his excellence. Especially when Lin Ke sits in front of the instrument, he is an artist, and he is one of the few singers with a soul in the field of music, if Mo Qiu is not because of the fatal disagreement, he will definitely not leave him.

After finishing the conversation with Lin Ke, I fell into the deep darkness again, repeating myself in a daze, and it took a long time to remember to look at my phone to divert my attention.

I found that Jing Qi, who was participating in a fashion show in Ottawa, updated a few Moments updates, most of them were photos of her catwalk during this time, the scenery in the photos was very beautiful, and she smiled as if she was not burdened, I hesitated for a while and gave her a thumbs up.

Eventually, Lin Ke fell asleep in a guest room next door, but Li Shi did not rest, and I heard her enter the kitchen in my half-asleep sleep.

I clicked on WeChat and sent a message, asking Li Shi what she was cooking, and she came to a sentence with understanding: "I'm cooking porridge, I'll add some more water, and by the way, I'll help you cook a bowl too." ”

"Don't you add rice?"

"If you don't add it, it's good to eat some of it, where are there so many requirements."

I was just about to "fight back", Jing Qi sent a message, and asked in surprise: "It should be two o'clock in the middle of the night in China, why haven't you rested yet?" ”

"I didn't sleep!"

"And what are you doing?"

"Look at the night to hang me, or if I die alone."

Jing Qi replied with a smiling expression: "What touched me again, I was here in the middle of the night to make a gesture!" ”

"Sao."

Jing Qi replied with a voice message this time: "You have finally lived the life you expected before, I bless you!" ”

I stared at the phone screen for a long time, but I didn't choose to be like her, I chose to reply to her by voice, and finally clicked on the screen and replied: "What about you?" ”

"I don't care......"

"It's time for you to think about your future."

"Wait! I need a comma in my life to let myself know where I want to go next. ”

"When will you return home?"

"Soon, I will make a decision when I return to China this time, and I hope you can support me when the time comes...... Yu Hang, let me ask you, if someone slanders you behind your back, will you be angry? ”

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because there are only two kinds of people who will slander you: the same man, and the woman who is not as good as you, and the person who is stronger than you, they don't bother to pay attention to you!"

"I see."

After listening to the voice she sent me, I was tired in just three words, I thought for a while, and finally replied to her: "Jingqi, your life is mine, no matter what decision you make, please take care of yourself, we are all people who have collapsed in the night, we are all people who have died in our hearts, we are becoming more and more indifferent every day, after we refuse to sensationalize, every day is hahahaha, in the unruliness we pile up, there should always be something hidden in the deepest depths, right?" ”

This time, Jing Qi also chose to reply to me in text, as if she was afraid that I would perceive my emotions through voice: "I have tried very hard to live my life as a comedy, but it is more pathetic than a clown, I live in this world, but I always live in the shadow of others." ”

"You're a person who was too rational from the start. You wrap yourself up layer by layer to reject people thousands of miles away, even if you pay in moderation, in order to avoid all the ends, you avoid all the beginnings, but I still hope that someone can see through your fear of hurting your heart and stand firmly by your side. You know, it's not a good thing that you don't have anyone to think about in life. ”

Jing Qi didn't reply to me, but sent a selfie of her, Ottawa has a 12-hour time difference with China, so we are at two extremes, she is in the sunny afternoon, I am in the boundless cold night...... In the photo, she is on the roof of the building, I can't see her face clearly, but I can see the loneliness of her back, in my impression she has never been afraid of heights, even in the face of a high-rise building dozens of meters away.

ended the conversation with Jing Qi, and couldn't fall asleep on the bed, but I couldn't say what was on my mind, and at this time Li Shi reminded me to go to the bar to drink porridge.

I put on a pair of thick autumn pants and a down jacket at home, and then came to the bar, Li Shi had already gone back to the room to feed Mo Qiu porridge, and on the plate on the bar counter was a bowl of steaming porridge, as well as a salted duck egg that had been peeled off and cut in half.

I picked up a spoon and scooped a mouthful of porridge, thinking that this is probably life!

……

The next day was close to noon, Mo Qiu woke up, and judging from Li Shi's tired expression, it was obvious that he had been tossed all night.

At this time, I was building a shelf with Lin Ke, and when I saw Mo Qiu coming out, I took his elbow and pestle him, Lin Ke stood beside me and said nothing, he didn't seem to know how to speak.

Obviously, Mo Qiu already knew who sent him here, but she didn't say it, she just smiled at me unprecedentedly, and thanked Li Shi apologetically, and then signaled that she had something to do, and left in a hurry.

As soon as she left the hostel, Xiao Yan at the front desk came to me and told me that Mo Qiu had left 500 yuan in cash, to accept it or not?

I signaled not to accept it, and asked Xiao Yan to chase it out and return it to Mo Qiu, at this time, Lin Ke, who had been watching Mo Qiu leave, said: "Take it, her personality is like this, if you don't accept it, it will make her feel indebted." ”

"And what about her to you, and between you?"

"A pair of shoes, when you first buy a little dust, you have to squat down and wipe them clean, even if you are stepped on after wearing them for a long time, you may rarely bow your head. Most people are like this, whether it is for things or feelings, at first, you feel distressed when she frowns, and later, you are not very nervous when she sheds tears. I don't blame her for this, after all, it's my selfishness that hinders us......"

Lin Ke left with a lonely figure, which reminded me of Jing Qi last night, beside me, it seemed that everyone had a tacit understanding to carve loneliness into their bones, struggling in a life where they couldn't see the edge, I was very flustered......

……

The days passed unhurriedly until the end of March, and the willow branches in front of the door were watered by the increasingly frequent light rain to water new branches, and the number of tourists increased significantly in the past half month.

This morning, I sat in the door with a small stool, lamenting that a day that could have been prosperous was affected by the light rain that could fall at any time.

The hostel's business has improved significantly compared to before, but I haven't really been relieved because the current business is still not enough to support the whole operation.

As I expected, the rain began to fall, and the cold wind blew the huge city so small, so small that a breeze could blow the heavens and the earth away, blowing away the temperature of the city, and the people who ran the road left unwillingness, gloom and sighs.

After being idle for a while, Li Shi, who came back from outside in a hurry, sneezed several times in a row, which was a sign of a cold, so I hurriedly got her a hot towel and made her a cup of hot tea while she was changing clothes.

The rain was still falling, the whirring wind blew the wooden sign in front of the door swaying, the door was only open for a while, the rain wet the ground by the wind, I found a dry towel to squat on the ground to suck the water, I thought about whether to redecorate the eaves outside, and Li Shi finally opened the door of the house in my thoughts, and stood in front of me with a blanket.

I hurriedly took another blanket from the sofa and wrapped it around her until I wrapped her into a rice dumpling, and said with a slight sense of accomplishment: "Look, this should be much warmer!" ”

"Can I still move?"

"You can move and try it!"

"Stinky rascal."

"I care about your body, I'm afraid that you will freeze, what, are you still afraid that I will do whatever I want!"

"You're really lewd."

"You just sit on the sofa, I'll go cook you a bowl of ginger soup and take precautions."

……

A moment later, I brought Li Shi a bowl of ginger soup, but she didn't drink it, just motioned for me to look outside.

In the cold wind outside, Jiang Laiyue wore a transparent plastic poncho and stood at the door to greet passing tourists, and few of these hurried passers-by stayed.

"Yu Hang, do you cook a lot of ginger soup?"

"Tell her to come in and have a bowl!"

"Well, I'll take a bowl of lying on the quilt and drink it slowly."

I quickly understood what Li Shi meant, she knew that Jiang Laiyue was so strong, if she sat here, Jiang Laiyue would not come in.

Of course, I can't treat her with pity, after all, her current behavior used to be the norm of my life, and the most extreme thing I used to be in the heat of more than 40 degrees, wearing clown clothes on the road to attract guests, it has never been easy to do a hostel......

I took out a whistle from a backpacker from Nepal in the drawer of the counter, stood at the door and blew it with my cheeks puffed, Jiang Laiyue, who was facing away from me, turned around, and I blew a few more provocatively.

She crouched down, picked up a pebble, threw it, hit me in the leg, and quickly walked over to me.

Jiang Laiyue took out a tissue to wipe the rain on her face, but she also looked like she was waiting for me to speak first.

"Please come and finish the ginger soup."

Jiang Laiyue nodded.

"Is there a steamed bun or something? It's too spicy to drink the soup alone. ”

"Yes, you sit in the house first, and I'll heat you up."

Wait for me to heat up the steamed buns, Jiang Laiyue has already drunk half of the soup, she said very little today, this fragile performance without saying a word made me realize that the recent performance may have really stabbed her, most of the accommodation groups of Laiyue Hotel come from Laiyue Travel Company, there is no need to worry about the source of guests, now the huge hotel can only rely on the business of the scenic spot, and the frenzied Jiang Wen has closed all the network booking channels of Laiyue Hotel.

I was a little distressed, but I couldn't say anything, and her expression was indifferent, just gently brushed her hair down, trying to make herself appear calmer, but I knew in my heart that even if she could let go of her identity as the proud woman of the shopping mall, after the great changes in her life, she still worked hard as if nothing happened, but behind the strength, she was just a weak girl, a girl who needed to be cared for.

"Let's eat a steamed bun!"

"Is there jam?"

"Nope."

"The white steamed buns are not delicious, forget it, don't eat it."

After a brief conversation, we fell silent again, Jiang Laiyue looked at me blankly, listened to the sound of rain outside the house, stood up after a while, and was attracted by the carved whistle in my hand, and pointed: "Where did you buy it?" ”

"Backpacker sent, I can send it to you if you like."

"Is that good?"

"What's there, I don't use it often anyway, if you have something to do in the future, just stand at the door and blow a whistle, and I'll go over."

"How far will it come?"

The depression in her words touched me slightly, and I finally relaxed and said to her, "Well, I'll come over as far as I can." ”

I began to think of the future that I had dreamed of with her, but now I think of it is so pale and weak, and it is only our fragile commitment that bears this paleness and weakness, I know very well that without me, Jiang Laiyue will also live very well, I firmly believe that as long as she survives this time, she still does not have to worry about material, she can use material to fill the emptiness of emotion, in fact, her emotions will not be empty, she is a good woman, she should have her own favor, Touched by an unexpected feeling, regardless of material and fetters, not like with me, it is with an emotional vacancy, she can be dignified because she is touched by love, and she likes a person from the heart, and then she can proudly and presumptuously say to me: "Look, this is my real love!" ”