1. The rich man chooses a girlfriend and gives each of the three candidates 100 yuan, so that they can fill an empty room with the least amount of money. The first girl bought a lot of cotton and barely filled half of the room. The second girl bought a lot of balloons and installed two-thirds of the room. The third girl, Bing Xue, was smart, she spent a small amount of money to buy a lot of candles, and the warm candlelight instantly lit up the whole room. The local tyrant finally chose the one with a good figure.

2. The blind date website helped me arrange a date, and the one who went to the appointment was a half-aged with heavy makeup, who looked like she was in her 50s, and I was so shocked that I almost squirted out a sip of coffee.

3. The man said to his wife: "Honey, have you been watching the World Cup with me for more than a month." Mrs.: "Don't look at it, stay up all night to suffer." Man: "As long as the Chinese team scores a goal, I will buy you a LV, and I will buy one when you enter one." Mrs.: "I love you so much, husband, I do!" Mrs.: "It's been more than a week, why hasn't the Chinese team played yet?" ”

4. Learning to drive, there is a cute girl paper together, because I am fatter, she always calls me a pig. Yesterday during the lunch break, the uncle of the classmate car asked me what my surname was, and before I could talk, my sister paper came with a sentence: His surname is Wu Neng. The uncle was stunned for a while, and after a few seconds, he replied: How did you know that he was sexually impotent?

5. Today's girls, their hands, feet, legs, and slight abrasions are taken and posted to Moments...... provoked a bunch of people to comfort and feel distressed! You said that the eldest aunt had shed so much blood for a few days, why didn't she take a picture of her wound and post it to Moments!

6. If the boy is strong, the girl will support the wall, if the boy is weak, the girl will be lost, if the girl is strong, the girl will lie flat, and if the girl is weak, the girl will be melancholy.

7. My fawn used to crash into it, but now it may have been killed.

8. There is a fish in the North Underworld, its name is Kun, the Kun is so big, it can't fit in a pot! Incarnated as Peng, Peng's big, needs two barbecue grills, one secret, one slightly spicy. A bottle of snowflakes will take you to the end of the world.

9. Guo Jingming threw a piece of soap on the ground: "Yao Ming, help me pick it up, thank you." Yao Ming began to calculate: "I am two meters three tall, the chrysanthemum position is about one meter three, his height is one meter four, and the position of the little partner is about 0.8 high, even if I am on tiptoe, there is still a lot of ......" After careful calculation, he can't beat my idea, he can't touch it at all, this soap can be picked up! So Yao Ming bent down. Guo Jingming laughed wildly: You are too naïve! And then greedily stuck out his tongue...

10. The hands of the three old men are shaking more than whom. A: "I almost shaved my nose off when I shaved my face!" B: "When I was weeding, I cut off all the flowers in my house!" C: "I urinated in the morning, and I three times."

1. Many people like to bow their heads and play with their mobile phones when they take the bus, but I am different, I like to observe the people and things around me. Sitting on the bus, I found a man about thirty years old sitting opposite me, ragged and unattractive, but he carried a bag, faintly revealing the word "Peking University", and immediately I was in awe of him, such a young talent, talented but introverted in appearance, the future must be limitless! At this time, when I looked at this person carefully, I suddenly felt that he was calm and low-key, and I admired him even more. Just as I was thinking, when the car arrived at the station, he got up and left his seat, the bag was unfolded, and then I saw the words "Northeast Rice" on the bag.

2. Don't believe anything on the Internet! Last time I read on the Internet, someone said that durian should be heated in the microwave for five minutes, and the taste will be sweeter, damn it, I can't stay at home now, and my neighbors persuaded me to move, saying that I was stewing! Last time I saw on the Internet, someone said that durian should be heated in the microwave for five minutes, and I couldn't stay at home, and my neighbors persuaded me to move, saying that I was stewing!

3. Today in the bathhouse, I was washing coolly, and I saw an uncle next to me dancing very chicly. I couldn't help but jump up, but I couldn't find that free and easy feeling no matter how I learned, so I had to go up and ask. The uncle didn't make a sound, silently walked over and turned my water temperature to the highest!

4. Sometimes you want to make a date, but you accidentally fall in love; Sometimes you want to have a good relationship, but you find that you just have an appointment. The world is so big, but the bed is so small, and the two people on the bed were once so good, but they can't grow old together. I like the story of being able to get married by holding hands, but I live in an era where there is no result when I go to bed.

5. There was a loud fart on the bus, and several people next to me immediately turned around, and instantly I had the feeling that I was on the voice of China. There were four passengers on the bus and all turned around for you! Na Ying: Your fart sounds good! It's what I want. However, at the time of the first transposition, the qi was a little insufficient, come to my team, and I will teach you how to fart! Zhang Huimei: I want it, I want it! I'm just going to be such a fart, welcome to join Ah Mei! Don't worry about anything, you can still fart like this. Haring: Wow! Whether he chooses me or not, I just want to turn around and look at him as a person, his ass is horrible! Wang Feng: There seems to be a story in your fart, tell me, what did you eat at noon?

6. The history teacher said: "There is a village in Yunnan where the women are not married, and they can go in and live for one night by putting a shoe at the door at night, and they don't have to pay responsibility." After that, the whole class of boys was boiling. The history teacher complained: "If you don't take my class well, I won't tell you what color shoes and what age woman is!" ”

7. The high school table is a very beautiful girl, I met her in the field after many years, I told her that I had a crush on her in high school for three years, she smiled shyly and said, "Actually, our relationship is like the 30th of the end of the month and the 1st of the next month!" I didn't understand, so I pulled away from the topic to avoid embarrassment, and after we parted, I kept thinking about what that sentence meant.

8. Courier: "Hello! Play with my birds? Young woman: "Get out of here!" Dead perverted! Courier: "Aren't you playing with my birds?" The young woman blushed and said, "My husband is at home, don't be like this, next time~" Courier: "I said that you are not called playing with my bird?" The young woman said angrily, "My name is Wang Yuan'......."

9. My niece is 5 years old, and she just ate a banana and called her: "Baby, let's eat bananas!" She said slowly: "You are so bad! I was stunned: "What's wrong?" Unexpectedly, she said: "Every time Dad says this, Mom answers like this."

10. I told you to peek at my lord's bath...... Tell you to peek at my lord taking a bath...... Tell you to peek at my lord taking a bath...... Note: Zhang Fei peeked at Liu Bei taking a bath and was punished for cleaning the toilet for a month, and anyone who regarded the "lord" as a "princess" must praise one! Let no one deny it! You have to be honest, or it's boring!

1. Why is a seventy-year-old man pushed off a cliff by a vicious couple without anyone stopping him? Why are seven shirtless men beating women yet they are applauded? Why do snakes and scorpions live together in a nest but are safe? Behind all this, is it the degradation of morality, the distortion of human nature, or the sorrow of society? If you want to know the truth of all this, please watch "Hulu Baby".

2. Neighbor: "Did you beat your wife and children at home last night?" Lao Wang: "They couldn't even eat before. Neighbor: "Did I ask you if you beat your wife and children?" Lao Wang: "My family is now the second richest in the village. Neighbor: "I didn't ask you that, I just asked you to beat your wife and children?" Lao Wang: "Why don't you care about Lao Liu's family beating his wife and children next door?" Neighbor: "Did I ask if you beat your wife and children at home?" Lao Wang: "Haven't you ever beaten your wife and children in the history of your own family?" Neighbor: "Did I ask if you beat your wife and children at home?" Lao Wang: "My family has written not beating my wife and children into the family rules. Neighbor: "Did I ask you if you beat your wife and children?" Lao Wang: "Your question is full of prejudice against my family and arrogance that I don't know where it comes from! Neighbor: "I just asked you if you beat your wife and children?" Lao Wang: "It is irresponsible for you to ask such a question. Have you been to our house? Neighbor: "I'll just ask you if you beat your wife and children?" Lao Wang: "I didn't beat my wife and children, only my wife and children have the right to speak, and it has nothing to do with you." Get out of here! 〞

3. Since having Jack Ma, I have achieved two major successes: successful login, successful payment, and I also have my own car: a shopping cart. I also understood my biggest shortcoming: insufficient balance!

4. It is said that most girls can't stand 12cm, they will feel pain, and some 8cm will hurt, but today there is a female man who said that 5cm can't stand it, and it hurts to walk can't walk, but you watch those beauties on TV 20cm is not a thing, I really don't understand, the same is wearing high heels, why is the gap so big?

5. I have admired three men when I am so big, one is Xu Xian, the second is Dong Yong, and the third is Ning Caichen. One dares to say snake, one dares to say immortal, and the last one doesn't even let go of ghosts. It wasn't until I saw Hua Qiangu that I knew that Luo Eleven was a real man, and he dared to call him a caterpillar. The most despised is Sun Wukong, who fixed the seven fairies, and he actually ran to steal peaches, but I have to admire Sun Wukong's father, who can actually get pregnant with stones, I am also drunk...

6. Quan Guanqing said: "Qiao Feng, the wolf head tattoo on your body is ironclad proof that you are a Khitan." Qiao Feng sneered: "This tattoo is pierced by my Abel at the foot of Shaomu Mountain." Quan Guanqing was speechless for a while, and muttered: "Abel's ...... Abel Thorn's ...... Hungry Brother Buddha, drink a kiko and touch it, oh mother-in-law, Risist......"

7. In the year of the college entrance examination, I just entered the examination room and found that I forgot to bring the admission ticket, and when I was anxious, my mother came panting: "Your admission ticket has fallen at home!" I was moved and said, "I'm in a hurry, give it to me." My mother was stunned: "Didn't you tell you that you were left at home?"

8. Xiaohong and Xiaohua were chatting, when Xiao Ming came over and asked Xiaohong: "Shall we go and open a room?" Xiaohong got angry and said, "Don't you interject!" Xiao Ming: "Okay! ”

9. "It's too dirty" said the girl "It's obedient and delicious" The man's tone was full of temptation The girl opened her cherry mouth and reluctantly took the meat* with a strong smell and temperature in her mouth. A kind of juice with a peculiar smell flowed out. The smell was so unique and irresistibly appealing that tempted the girl to suck hard, she craved more juice. An evil smile appeared on the man's face, "Why didn't I lie to you?" The girl has completely ignored her own reserve, and at the moment she just wants to get more juice, the juice that makes her lower abdomen hot and her limbs weak. When the juice filled the girl's mouth, the girl let out a happy moan and swallowed all the precious juice. With a provocative smile, the man said, "Do you want more?" The girl blushed and said "Hmm" in a voice that only she could hear. At this time, I, who was sitting on the side, rushed up and gave each of them a big mouth: "TMD, can't you be quiet if you eat a meat skewer?" ”

10. I saw a very handsome guy on the mall today, handsome don't want it, I'm a man and I can't help but stare at it, he also looked at me, I walked over with a cheeky face and took a look, holding the grassland is a mirror.

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