After sending Jiang Laiyue to my grandmother's house, we made the bed together, and waited until the light in her room went out before I left, returned to the small courtyard where my parents lived, moved a chair and sat in the yard, lit a cigarette, and enjoyed the cold wind.

This yard belongs to the second son of the village chief's family, and the family moved into the city, and the house was empty, so they brought their parents who lived in the primary school, although the house was not spacious, but it also felt like home.

I thought my parents were already asleep, but before I could finish a cigarette, the light in their room suddenly turned on.

My mother put on her clothes, put on a bowl of food for me, took out the cigarette in my hand, and motioned for me to eat it quickly.

I nodded, eating the familiar taste of food in my mouth, thinking that I had hardly eaten my mother's cooking in the past few years, and I felt this familiar taste in my heart, but I didn't dare to show it, I carefully hid my emotions, and ate very slowly.

"Because that girl is still angry with your mother!"

"No, I'm just too hungry and want to eat first before talking."

"I didn't think about what to say, right? I don't know you yet, I've been a stuffy gourd since I was a child, and I hold it in my heart when I have some things, it doesn't matter on the surface, but my heart has long been full of waves. ”

"Mom......"

"Okay, mom won't say it, you eat quickly, but you have to talk to your mother about Li Shi after eating, don't hide it."

"Mom......"

"Don't give me this pig-killing sound, wake up the neighbors, you will apologize tomorrow and let you eat, you are really patronizing the meal."

I continued to take a bite of rice and whispered: "I don't have anything to do with her anymore, she comes and goes in a hurry, she doesn't belong to my world after all, and thinking too much about putting pressure on myself will also bring a burden to her in the distance...... I borrowed a Chinese restaurant in the UK to cook a meal for her, but no matter how good that meal is, it can't be a three-season meal......"

"She is the benefactor of our family, maybe it is really me and your father who are too expectant, so we will be disappointed, what do you think of Miss Xiaosu, she is also in the tourism industry, you two talk about it, maybe there is a common topic?"

"Mom, don't mess with the mandarin duck spectrum, I don't have much intersection with Miss Xiao Su at all, besides, we got married because of Meng Meng's illness, and now that the matter is solved, you will trouble people again, how bad it is to say these abrupt words!"

"Such a beautiful girl, she still hasn't had a boyfriend, how do you know if you can't do it if you don't fight for it? I heard that people used to be the same as Jiang Laiyue, who opened a shopping mall, and the name was quite good, called Su Mo. ”

I handed the bowl to my mother and said, "Mom, don't nag, there are still a few days before the New Year, leave some mental work, this is the first time in our family in the past few years to have a decent and stable year, you have to prepare well." ”

Seeing that I finished eating, my mother seemed to be much more relieved, got up and said: "Don't sit here with a wood carving, this wind is blowing, I'm afraid it's going to snow, go to bed early, Xiaobao's little guy insists on giving you a warm quilt, and you're afraid that you're already asleep!" ”

"Okay, I'll sit down and go back."

……

After my mother returned to the house, I sat alone in the yard for a long time, thinking about how much experience a relationship can bear, and having experienced too many joys and sorrows, I understand more and more, even if the initial feelings have burned like a flame, even if there are more intersections than fate, they will be annihilated by the wind, maybe one day, Li Shi and I will be more distant than strangers.

I picked up my phone and wanted to look at those photos from the past, but suddenly remembered that my phone was swiped last time, and I couldn't even keep a single photo of my past experience......

I couldn't find any traces of the past and Li Shi, so I forced myself to think about the future, I told myself to imagine the future is very beautiful, so I imagined a picture like this: I had become a family at that time, there was a lovely child who had begun to learn to walk, he was running in front of him, I was carefully caring for the back, and the woman around me, who would be, I didn't dare to think about it anymore......

Immersed in the picture of my imagination, I couldn't help but snicker, at this time, someone suddenly patted me on the shoulder, and Xiaobao, who was wearing a sheet, looked at me with a puzzled face, and said, "Big brother, are you okay?" I don't go back to sleep at night, why are you smirking here, I'm all hot under the covers. ”

When I returned to the room, Xiaobao fell asleep again, sometimes I really envy children, I can sleep carefree and peaceful, the hot kang in the house is indeed much warmer than outside, I lie on the bed on my side and look out the window, but I can't sleep.

After playing with my phone for a while, I suddenly received a text message from Jiang Laiyue, and she asked me if I had slept.

I was bored, and I was worried that she was still thinking about it, so I hurriedly replied, "I haven't slept yet!" ”

"It looks like it's snowing outside."

I poked my head out of the window and looked out the window, and sure enough, it was snowing, and I couldn't help but sigh: "Sure enough, the New Year is approaching, and the snow that fell last time has not yet melted, and it is actually snowing again." ”

"Shall we come out and see the snow?"

"I can't toss anymore in the middle of the night, the little guy is sleeping soundly with my arms in his arms!"

"Okay, good night, good night!" Jiang Laiyue and I sent the last voice message, and then did not reply.

I got dressed, trembling to the toilet outside the house to finish, the back of the yard turned on the light again, and then the door light turned on again, I didn't get closer, suddenly saw Jiang Laiyue wearing a red windbreaker, opened the door and spun happily in the snow, only a few minutes, the snow suddenly fell again, among the snowflakes, I lit a cigarette, did not come forward to disturb, stood in a corner behind the wall, a little lonely sucking.

I think of the snowy night of Christmas, the first time I saw Li Shi in many days, but it was also the darkest period of my life, and I still remember how I relied on the illusion of virtual beauty to continue to live......

I also remember that near that London Eye scenic spot, in the midst of the fireworks and snowy nights, we met in a sea of people, and the woman gave me the warmth I desperately craved at that time, and we had the warmest meal together.

People are always touched by the scene, and I know that as long as it is a snowy day, I will never forget: her face and hair are covered with snowflakes, but she is bouncing and walking into a cute cartoon pattern.

At that time, I was happy, but now my heart is like a knife, I wiped away the tears that fell inadvertently with my fingers, but I gave all my blessings to that woman, hoping that she could live happily and happily with the man who married her, then I would be happy and have no regrets.

From spring and summer to autumn and winter, it seems to be a cycle, and tonight, maybe it's time for me to say goodbye to the past once and for all.

Jiang Laiyue seems to have not only learned taekwondo, but also dances lightly, she can spin freely in the thin snow, I see her suddenly frowning, showing infinite sorrow, suddenly smiling, showing boundless joy, she likes this snow like me, the red trench coat is spinning, flying like a beautiful butterfly, the beauty is intoxicating.

When she stopped, I don't know if she was tired, or she couldn't control her body when she stopped, so she squatted on the ground with her legs in her arms, wanting to cry but couldn't, as if she wanted to control herself but couldn't......

I walked slowly forward and looked at her condescendingly, she looked up at me and smiled at me, "It's so easy to release a lot!" ”

"From now on, be a silly girl who has no worries!"

"Yes!"

This snow killed me, when Jiang Laiyue, who was smiling and tearful, looked up at me, my heart was shaken, I thought I could wholeheartedly love Li Shi, who walked into my life first, but at this moment I realized that it was only when she was close to me......

I think I should let myself go free, and I shouldn't put pressure on Li Shi with my own willfulness, I long for time to fly by quickly, erase all my memories, and her name, I will never remember again......

When I was about to get up and go back to the house, Jiang Laiyue stood on tiptoe, the cold lips stuck to my lips, and after a few lingerings, the tip of the tongue with the fragrance entered my mouth, I was a little dizzy in my overwhelm, and I didn't know where to put my panicked hands, and the emotions that had been suppressed for a long time in my heart were stirred up in this snowy night......

This night, Jiang Laiyue and I stood in the snow for a long time, until our legs were numb and we went back to the house, except for kissing, we didn't have anything to do, because this night was too beautiful and holy.

Back in the house, I got into the warm quilt again, Xiaobao was like a warm water bag, but I didn't dare to approach him, for fear that the cold body would wake him up, lying on the bed in a trance, the body was warm, but the heart was rippling again, remembering the lingering touch of the tip of the tongue just now, my heartbeat suddenly accelerated, in my memory, I and Jiang Laiyue have never been so close to each other, but I don't know what's going on, these touches quickly disintegrated in my heart, I seemed to have lost my memory, I can no longer describe this feeling, I can only remember some scattered fragments, but I can't remember the feeling of skin touching together......

……

The next day I got up in a trance, I wanted to go outside alone, walked in the snow for a long time, the phone rang in my pocket without any warning, I picked it up and looked at it, it was an unfamiliar number, I was hesitating to answer, but the phone was hung up.

After only a few seconds in between, the unfamiliar number rang again, but I hesitated, and then answered the phone in hesitation, but no one spoke on the other side of the phone, so we were silent on the phone, but it was not that there was nothing to do, at least I was still smoking, listening to the slight breathing on the other side, and making myself more and more awake in the cold wind......

There was a sound of a glass of water breaking from the other side, and then fell into silence, I smoked a cigarette, and looked at the snow-covered mountains in front of me in a squatting posture, like a smiling face, I gradually became absorbed and let the cold wind whistle past me.

After the call was hung up again, I received a message on my phone: You went to Tongwei, Gansu? After thinking about it, let's celebrate the New Year together, I'll go to you......

I stared at the message for a long time, my brain felt like it had been hit by a heavy punch, I carefully read the message over and over again, clicked on WeChat, and found that Li Shi gave me the picture I sent to her yesterday in WeChat, and replied with a thumbs up......