Shen Nanyan pursed her lips and glanced at Mu Zhao, but did not speak.

Mu Zhao was naturally aware of Shen Nanyan's gaze towards him, he bent his eyes to look at her, and there was a faint smile in his eyebrows.

After the two looked at each other for a second, it was Shen Nanyan who looked away first.

It was getting dark, and because of the winter, it was getting later than usual. The back kitchen of the Shen Mansion had already set up dinner, and Shen's father left Mu Zhao to eat in the mansion.

After dinner, Shen's mother had the intention to create an opportunity for the two to get along, and said to Shen Nanyan and Mu Zhao: "You go outside after eating, the lanterns on the street may still be lit, you go and take a look." ”

After being reminded by Shen's mother, Shen Nanyan remembered that today was the night of the Lantern Festival.

Shangyuan Festival, the lights are bright.

After leaving the Shen Mansion, Shen Nanyan and Mu Zhao slowly walked in the direction of the street. As soon as the two went out, they didn't say a word, and they were silent all the way.

The wind at night was still a little cold, Shen Nanyan went out in a hurry and forgot to put on a big hat, and the cold wind hit, blowing her face slightly red.

Mu Zhao was careful, took off his white coat and draped it on her body, and said softly: "Next time I go out, let the people around me prepare an extra coat to prevent cold." ”

The light yin on the side bowed his head and said, "The slave must pay attention next time." "As a maid, you have to pay attention to the needs of the young lady and the hot and cold problems at all times, and tonight Shen's mother originally thought that the two of them would go out by themselves and get along more comfortably. But she thought that someone needed to serve her, so she followed them out.

Because going out today was a temporary intention, and she was not as experienced as Hongying, she really didn't pay attention to whether Shen Nanyan was downhill. It was really Mu Zhao's tone that was too gentle, and she didn't have the slightest sense of shame after being pointed out as an omission.

"Nothing. It's because I'm greedy that I didn't put it on, and it has nothing to do with you. Shen Nanyan shook his head and did not answer Mu Zhao's words.

If she didn't speak when she came out just now and was making a fuss, then now she is afraid that she is really angry, and she will turn a blind eye to his words like now, and she will refute it.

Qingyin is not a fool, and he noticed that the two of them didn't speak as soon as they went out, for fear that they were making an awkward scene. Afraid that they would not be comfortable talking because they were here, they simply left on the pretext that they were going to see the lantern festival.

"I'll go with you." Shen Nanyan had a cold face and was ready to go with Qingyin.

Qingyin looked at Mu Zhao as if asking for help, Mu Zhao took Shen Nanyan's hand and said, "Go quickly, I will walk around here with your young lady." ”

Shen Nanyan wanted to break free of his hand, but he couldn't break free from the disparity in strength between men and women, so he gave up.

Looking back, he found that Qingyin was no longer in place, Shen Nanyan stood quietly in place, and simply let him hold it, just looking at him with her beautiful eyes.

"Still mad at me?" Xu is because of the proximity, Mu Zhao's chest shook when he spoke, the low and gentle voice fell from the top of his head, and his ears felt numb.

Listening to him say that tonight, although he was angry in his heart, he would rather give up the opportunity to stay together than let her live without worry. He is angry that he sacrifices himself to fulfill her, and he is angry that he never thinks about himself. But where would she be really angry, angry and distressed at the same time.

Now hearing him ask himself so gently, when she thought of her indifference to him tonight, her heart suddenly blamed herself, and tears couldn't stop flowing, she cried and threw herself into his arms, and hugged his waist tightly: "Are you going to give up our feelings?" ”

She hadn't cried for a long time, and when she heard his words tonight unless the loess and white bones, I would keep her years worry-free, my heart became inexplicably sour.

Mu Zhao raised his hand to wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes, and opened her mouth with a sigh: "Fool, what are you crying for?" ”

In his impression, Shen Nanyan rarely cried, whether it was in front of him or in front of others, he almost saw a cold and indifferent look. It's rare to throw yourself into his arms and cry like the same child tonight.

What are you crying about? Crying he wanted to leave himself, crying what he said.

Maybe her brother, her father and mother couldn't hear anything, but she knew what he really meant.

Whether she is sensitive or hypocritical, she can't let him sacrifice for herself.

"Do you know why I treat people so coldly and don't dare to approach them easily?" Shen Nanyan left his arms and asked him with red eyes.

Mu Zhao shook his head and looked at her.

Shen Nanyan smiled bitterly and said slowly: "I have no ability to empathize since I was a child, whether it is my father and my mother, or my brother, or Ah Ci, they treat me very well, I am almost a starry existence in Shen Mansion, although I know it, I can't feel it, I can't feel their sincerity, I can't feel their pain, and I don't even know if my heart is beating........."

From childhood to adulthood, everyone wanted to give her all the good things that existed in the world, and they cared about her in every detail, but she didn't feel anything, didn't understand why they were like this, and didn't understand why she was treated so much more than others.

As she gets older, her empathy seems to be growing, and she gradually finds that her father and mother treat her very well, and she seems to have the best side in front of her, and she has not said a word to her, let alone scolded her.

treats Shen Jin, they are "strict teachers produce high apprentices, strict fathers produce filial sons", they seem to be very strict with Shen Jin, but in fact they are like real parents teaching their children.

Real parents? The first time this word came to her mind, she was actually a little painful, and her heart was like being strangled by a knife, and she couldn't breathe.

Mu Zhao looked at Shen Nanyan with a painful look on his face, his face was the same pain and unbearability as her, and he said softly: "Don't think about it if it's really painful, don't say it again." ”

A trace of bitterness flashed on Shen Nanyan's cold face, and there was brilliance in the corners of his eyes: "I am a person with a cold nature, and I don't believe that there is warmth in the world. For me, every day is like living like a puppet, far less joyful than sleeping on the ground. But since I met you and had you, I have come to love the world and want to live with you in this world. ”

Her words are deviant, beyond the world, no matter who is standing here today, will be frightened by her shocking worldly remarks, no young lady or any ordinary person will say so calmly that death is more joyful than living, and people who are born like ants and humble still have the idea of survival, let alone a daughter of a family like Shen Nanyan who was born illustriously.

Mu Zhao was no exception, the moment he heard these words, he looked at Shen Nanyan almost in shock, and a trace of distress flashed on Qingjun's face: "You have never said such things to me. ”

When I first met her, she was still a handsome little girl, and he and Xie Sui went to the border alone in order to do a big thing.

On that day, the remnant sun was like blood, the wind was howling, and the dust in the desert lifted him up as if he wanted to be involved in the sandstorm.

After the gale stopped, Xie Sui was no longer around, and he was suddenly blown down from a high place by the gale and buried in a big pit.

It wasn't a big pit, but it was a big hole for him at the time. Far away, suffering such hardships, coupled with the fact that his leg suddenly fell to the ground from a high place after the strong wind dissipated, the pain was unbearable all of a sudden, and I am afraid that there were some slight fractures. At that time, he could not walk, and he was trapped in a large pit, surrounded by sparse people. If no one had come to his rescue that day, he would have been trapped in the pit and died of thirst. Either it will be blown by the strong wind and carried elsewhere.

Just when he felt desperate, she came from a distance, dressed in plain clothes and cold and arrogant, no different from her current personality.

But on that day, her temperament made him feel indescribable, like a born baby who didn't understand everything, treated people extremely indifferently, and looked at him like he was looking at a dead thing.

is obviously younger than him, and the temperament revealed by his body is like an adult. She passed him coldly.

At that time, he didn't know how much courage he mustered to shout out to the woman who was covered with a cold breath: "Little sister, please help me." ”

At the age of nine, his face has grown, and his appearance is beginning to show edges, and he can be regarded as a handsome boy. Whether it is in Kyoto or at the border pass, people who see him, regardless of whether they are men, women, young or young, will look at him a few more times, but the cold girl in front of him looks at him without a trace of emotion, as if he is already a dead man.

No matter how much he shouted from behind, no matter how hoarse his voice was, the girl in front of him never looked back and gave him a look. On the third day when he was trapped in the pit and was about to die, the cold girl walked up to him wearing the same clothes as the previous days, and looked at him expressionlessly: "Why can't I always die?" ”

His face was as stunned as he was today, and he replied to her in a dumb voice, "Because Heaven does not want you to die." ”

As if hearing a big joke, the girl sneered: "Hey, are you implying that I don't want you to die?" ”

Originally, this cold girl knew, knew the deep meaning of his words, and knew that the purpose of saying this sentence was to let her save herself.

With tears in his eyes, he nodded again and again: "Little sister, what's wrong with being alive?" Why can't you think about it so much? At that time, he said this with some sincerity. I thought it was a little girl from a family who was wronged and had the idea of committing suicide, and I wanted to have the heart to explain one or two.

Now that I heard her words, I realized that she was probably the same as she is today, not as he guessed, she was just a wronged person who wanted to commit suicide.

She still saved him, pursed her lips and looked at him quietly: "You won't understand." Sometimes it is far more pleasant to sleep on the ground than to be alive. When I was alive, I was miserable, but I was at least happy to sleep. ”

Yes, he didn't take her words to heart, he just secretly wondered in his heart: Which little girl was raised to have such a fragile character?