The family was eating out and had to go out in the afternoon. Another decade has passed since I entered my twenties, and this is probably the first year in which I can't hide in my room on Chinese New Year's Eve and play games and write to my heart's content. The past year has been an extremely important year for me, and of course, it is only recently that I have become very strongly aware that every year of the past has been an extremely important year for me.

My twenties, on the whole, were a decade of panic and embarrassment. I didn't make it when I should have been public, I didn't think too much when I shouldn't, I didn't make mistakes when I should have made mistakes, all of these things have been said in my previous essays.

A good life may be like this: in the first half of life, we experience interesting things one by one, make mistakes, and slowly accumulate some crampedness, and wait until the second half of life, start to do subtraction, and eliminate those unnecessary things one by one.

In the twenties, people should have done addition, but I have already started subtraction, and everything that can interfere with my thoughts has been thrown away. Looking back now, the whole decade, except for the beginning when I went out to work, and then it was only a tug-of-war and struggle between writing books and making money - you read that right, writing good books and making a lot of money were largely opposites.

When I have the ability to think rationally, I often regret it. Now, of course, there is no need to regret it.

After getting married, I often feel that I have entered a completely different stage from before, and there are many things that can be let go of and not think about it at all, such as women, such as temptation, such as possibility. Of course, there are also more trivial things that I haven't been exposed to before. This morning, my wife said that more than two months of marriage are like 20 years, and it is true that there have been too many changes.

For example, when I was coding this text, she was holding a comb and combing me into a stupid shape, which made me wonder whether to hit her or not.

Well, these are not written to show affection, but ...... Lately, I've been wondering if I'm about to enter the second half of my life, which often makes me panic because the first half is so fast. If the first half passes so quickly, will there be a day when I stand on the threshold of sixty years and suddenly find that the second half will also come to an end—I feel very clearly that there will be a day.

I thought of my parents, who were young, full of energy and angularity when I first met them, and now that they have gray hairs on their heads, they are very happy to see that I am married, and that I will move out of this house and start a new family with my wife. Sooner or later, I will return home and see them getting older, and sooner or later, I will send them away, and then remember their youthful vigor and happy smiles at this time.

I also think of everyone I have met in my life, and I think of the grandmother who is sitting at the gate of the community basking in the sun at this time - about half a year ago, I suddenly wanted to write "Hidden Killing", and add a few more chapters at the end, writing about Jia Ming and Lingjing when they were forty years old, when they were fifty years old, writing about their mutual support when they were sixty or seventy years old, I wrote an article every few years, we used to see them grow up, and then we could also see them grow old. In this way, we will see the passage of their whole lives, I thought about these articles for a long time, and then I wondered if it was also a kind of cruelty for everyone to see the warmth and companionship of their lives, and when I wrote about the age of seventy, whether their former warmth would become a kind of cruelty to readers. Then I was a little hesitant to start writing.

Of course, the main reason why I didn't write it later was because of the crackdown, and in order to avoid suspicion, "Hidden Killing" was temporarily blocked. Well, wait until I have a better understanding of these things before I think about writing about it.

I am afraid of this, but it is undeniable that when I get married, all the regrets I have in the past can be zeroed out. Even in the second half of the stage, I can easily start all over again. As Haruki Murakami said, one day, elephants will return to the wild.

Even if the wilderness at this time is not what it once was, it has finally come to the wilderness again.

Fortunately, compared with the ignorance and powerlessness when I was in that wilderness, at this time, I have my own career, my own three views, and my own direction, not to mention that I need to resign myself to fate.

I think of you too.

Where will you be when I turn sixty one day? Some of my readers are much older than me, some of them are in junior high and high school at the time, what will you be like in a few decades? I can't imagine how these decades have changed, the only thing I know for sure is that that day will come sooner or later.

I only write books, and I will continue to write books to improve my writing skills, and in the next 20 to 30 years, as long as my mind is still alive, this effort will not stop. This is the goal I set for this 30th New Year.

"One day the elephants will return to the plains, and I will paint the world in a more beautiful language."

Time is the most cruel and ruthless, I hope you can grasp yourself at this moment.

Jin wishes you all a Happy New Year. ^_^ (To be continued.) )

PS: Well, I will open a top New Year's Greeting Building in the book review area, if you are in the mood, you might as well come and leave your state at this time: who am I, what am I doing, whether I work hard, whether I am happy, whether I am fulfilling, whether I still have a dream...... Maybe you will gain something from ^_^ tidying up