Kavin's for almost a month. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

This month, I always want to repeat the change, but the mood is not right, a few days before my birthday, I swear, from today, I must write it, save some manuscripts, and send five chapters on my birthday.

Then I thought, send four chapters.

Chapter 3......

One day yesterday, I wrote half a chapter, and I thought about it and overturned it, and to this day, I thought, yes, maybe not a single chapter is gone, but fortunately, it was still written. It's almost 9,000 words, and I would have liked to write a little more, but as it approached midnight, the best mood had been lost, and it was only suitable for recording something, not very suitable for plot.

What I can tell you is that some problems in life are not big things, small bumps. In the past month, I have been emotionally disturbed, and I have had two serious quarrels with my wife, although it should be benign at the moment, but after all, it has affected my codeword. It's a new reason for me to break the change, but it's true, and I don't have anything to explain anyway, right?

I got married to my wife on December 16, 15 years, and it has been a year and a half so far. Our acquaintance is very common, and a little weird, she went to my uncle's shop to buy kitchen utensils, customers and the boss all kinds of bargaining, my uncle said you are not married, introduce you to a partner, call me to the store, say that the person has arrived. I was dizzy during that time, but the phone called, I had to go politely, I went with my mother, met her and her mother, and after a conversation, she said two words to me.

Tsk, she looks very beautiful, she has no expression, she is an elite woman, and she can't soak it.

This is probably the first impression, but the face has already met, added WeChat, out of politeness, asked her to watch a movie, watched a movie for dinner, and then she asked me to eat, after the meal she took the initiative to pay, and later talked about it, she felt that the code words were very poor, it should be like this.

She works at the TV station, right in front of my house, and she hooks up as soon as she comes and goes. She is very busy, she has to work overtime in the TV station, and she has to work overtime outside the TV station, speaking of which, she really began to make me feel good, I'm afraid she has been working overtime, I later learned that she bought a house in the best community here, our house is very cheap, at that time more than 3,000 yuan a flat, she wanted to buy a set for her parents to live, only 20,000 yuan in her pocket, so she went to see the house to sign a contract.

And then there is constant overtime, in the TV station she is doing technology, working overtime to do special effects, constantly taking jobs outside the TV station, making films for people, organizing activities for people, and then paying the down payment, after paying the house and starting to do the decoration, throwing money into it every month, paying off the credit card of the previous month - she actually got it, it's incredible.

I remember that during that time, she also went to take the civil service examination and made a phone call and said, "I went to the party school for training today, do you want to come along?" I said, "Okay, let's go and cultivate the festival." "That's the date back then.

During that time, I always remembered that when I bought a house at the age of 25, I had saved enough for a down payment, and I was paid tens of thousands of yuan by an uncle, and then I didn't pay it back, and when it was time to pay the money, the policy raised the down payment from 20% to 30%. I code words in the room every day, and when I get up, my hair falls out, and at that time I wrote "Alienation", which was especially difficult, on the one hand, I wanted to write more, and on the other hand, I thought that there must be no quality. I've cried several times.

I think I found a treasure.

The reason we're together -- genuinely -- I want to help her share these things. She has a strong personality, but she doesn't please the leader, and she works overtime all day in the TV station. I often go to deliver food, since the second half of the year to change the leader, the days are more difficult, one day at noon, said that there are leaders to inspect, the TV editor-in-chief Lao Huang asked the technical department to stay in the office at noon, do not let the meal go, I took the food at one o'clock and sent it over, a leader looked like a person came to see, asked: "Ah, haven't eaten yet?" "Later, I learned that it was the editor-in-chief who had previously ordered that he should not go to dinner.

One night, when it was time to change the film to the end of work, the director and the editor-in-chief were in the technical department to watch the change, and they were like this: the director went to eat first, and then went to eat for the editor-in-chief, and the technical personnel were not allowed to eat.

The leader who asks people to work overtime has seen that the leader who does not allow people to eat overtime is really strange.

I've always wanted her to quit, even if it was to support her, that's fine, but she didn't want to. After getting married, thinking about having children, there was a shortage of people in the station, so she was asked to guard the computer room, it was said that there was radiation, and she was finally willing to resign, thank God.

Less than a month after resigning, I went to work in the library again, saying that the library was easy.

However, the library is a place where some official wives retire.

So I became a work technician again, entered the library for a month, helped people write two things, won two inexplicable awards, one hung his name, a group of old employees who have been in the library for many years, let her make up for a few years of year-end summary, because there is no background, and it is always embarrassing.

It's a strange ecological environment.

There are still a lot of things, but in short, this year I finally decided to leave, the library was downgraded from level one to level three, and even level three had to be maintained this year, and the director asked her to "carry the work", and there was an old accountant in the library who scolded her while looking for her to do things - do you imagine that an accountant has not done accounts for several years, and when the working group moves into the cultural department, a new employee who has been in the library for half a year is called to help fill in the accounts?

After leaving the library and selling flowers, her classmates opened a wholesale department in Changsha, and she saw a business opportunity again. During this period, we went on a trip to Guangzhou, and in seven days, she came to my aunt, and she was running around shopping everywhere outside, and I booked the best hotel for her to rest, but she couldn't rest. After shopping in Guangzhou, I have to go back to sell tweeds. So there was a fight.

I was also very tired.

For a year and a half or even longer, I always had only one purpose, which was to reduce her burden, we were not short of money, although my income from writing books was not comparable to that of a well-known god, but it was enough to live a well-off life, and even with a computer on my back I could travel at any time, and most importantly, I didn't have many partners, and I didn't have a meal that people had to socialize to attend. It's the best day of life. I want her to understand that we don't lack anything, that we don't have so many burdens, that we buy what we want, that we go where we want to go, and that for a year and a half, I haven't been out of the house alone—I used to travel about a few times a year—and I even pushed off the annual meeting.

But her heart couldn't settle down.

Maybe I'm not doing enough, maybe I'm not doing it right. I also hope to be able to wait silently for her to suddenly be able to let go one day, as in the novel and on TV, with less urgency, at least not yet.

So there were a few fights.

For a long time, she also had psychological problems, and her emotional control was not mature, and she often sulked for the problems of others, and then couldn't eat. With a weight of 68 meters and 80 pounds, he is about to lose weight into ribs. The problem she encountered after selling flowers was her mother, my mother-in-law, who told her all day that it was pointless for her to sell flowers and wanted her to go back to work in the civil service.

My mother-in-law is also a strange person, she has a really good heart, but she is a child, jumping up and down for such and such things, hoping that everyone will do things at her pace. The first Chinese New Year's Eve after we got married, I spent it in my parents-in-law's house - that is, the house that my wife gritted her teeth and renovated - the furniture has not been bought, the living room is cold, there is no air conditioning, my father-in-law is hiding in the quilt watching TV, my mother-in-law is talking about tiredness, what do you want to eat up and down, whether to eat dumplings ah, I went to get ah, tossed all night, at that time I thought, really a good person.

When my wife goes to work, she has to go to the place where she works every day, and she has to point fingers at everything, she likes civil servants, so she despises opening a flower shop or something, and his wife is often said to be sullen, and sometimes, her mother-in-law even has to call three times a day to instruct, has lunch been done, has lunch been eaten...... Yesterday we couldn't eat, and as a result, we had another fight. My mood is hardly disturbed by anyone else, after getting married, there is one more person, Guangzhou came back to Kavin for a month, my mood is also extremely bad, and full of frustration, the mood of the code word is not in place, and I have a headache because of anxiety. I said, it's been a year and a half, and I've done what I should do, and if your emotions have been affected in various ways, and in the end it affects the body, what should I do? Do you want both people's lives?

What should be put down has to be put down.

She quarreled with the Queen Mother today, and ran back crying, the Queen Mother was worried about her, called me, and I also told the Queen Mother, how can there be a thirty-year-old person who even has to call for dinner all day long, and we can do many things by ourselves. After finishing speaking, I was afraid that she would be angry to death, so I sent a message to my father-in-law to ask her if she was angry to death......

She is also really a good person, a kind-hearted person who is difficult to see in society.

In fact, in real life, there are many difficult mothers-in-law, and many times I think about it, my mother-in-law is really ...... It's not hard to get along. She genuinely cares about us and wants us to live as a 60-year-old cadre...... Of course, it's better if we're still civil servants.

Sometimes I think that my wife lacks a sense of accomplishment in the process of life.

She is actually very talented, she can get started with anything quickly, art, design, photography, and flower arrangement can have her own perceptions, but she is not good at slapping horses-style communication, and her emotional management skills are insufficient. Initially graduating from school, she did game design, and even had her own studio, and in her early twenties, she could get a salary of 30,000 a month. After that, she returned to Wangcheng to take care of her mother, but her mother rushed to let her into the bureaucratic system, and she didn't get any sense of accomplishment.

I sometimes watched her clumsily do this and that, trying to find a way out. For a while, she even wanted to do a live broadcast, and most of her Weibo were my book fans, and she started a live broadcast to talk about flower arrangement and cheating in exams, a total of twice, and I showed my face and left. I think she hopes that her success is her own success, she wanted to make clothes for a while, desperately wanted to contact the manufacturer in Guangzhou, and looked at the increase in her fans on Weibo, and said to me with great interest: "Now they are all your fans, I opened an online store and started washing powder." "I said you spend some money to do it first, I'll pay for it, the first store, and accumulate experience.

She was reluctant.

She likes to watch the live broadcast of an Internet celebrity on the Internet, that Internet celebrity always broadcasts her own life, she is a woman, I don't like it, she said she is watching people's lives, I said that the broadcast is so smooth, life is all fake and deceitful.

Those clumsy live broadcasts when they broadcast flower arrangements to a group of book lovers, and then see fewer and fewer people, are real.

How cute that clumsiness is.

There are 10,000 great truths about life that we can say and write them into a book that is convincing.

In reality, I think we're all clumsily struggling to move forward in our own quagmire.

Hopefully, my wife can find peace of mind.

I hope my mother-in-law can understand that everyone has their own life.

Although it is more likely that today's quarrel will become tomorrow's blood. It's nothing more than life. I think I'm lucky.

I didn't plan to write this year's essay, because there may be few people who write about these trivial lives on public platforms, especially if it's still a real life, but then I think about it, it's good, there's nothing that can't be said. Over the years, most of the friends in my life who I can talk to are far away - in fact, I have basically lost the desire to talk to the people around me. I'm still used to writing them down on paper, on my computer, and whoever can see them is my friend. Aren't we all going through life?

This is my thirty-two-year-old puzzle and story.