My legs trembled uncontrollably, my teeth chattered slightly, and I stared at the ground fiercely, not daring to make eye contact with him.

It's a shame.

He was not ashamed of watching me dance, but was proud, and said to me badly: "Fortunately, I am bored after the town has finished approving the excerpts, and I want to come to the queen to relax, so that I can enjoy such a view." ”

Don't say it, don't say it, ah!!!!!!!

I couldn't hold back any longer, covered my face, turned around and desperately fled to the dormitory, "Zhiyu! Don't let him in! ”

"!"

"What is the queen shy?"

At the same time, I shut the door out, and I leaned against the door, breathing a long sigh of relief, desperately trying to stabilize my already shaking body.

What does it feel like?

It's basically the same feeling as practicing boxing in a martial arts book when I was a child, and being bumped into by the third brother!

It's the feeling of letting go of yourself when practicing painting, throwing it aside, but my mother picked it up and showed it to my relatives!

No, these are serious.

At this moment, my shame is far greater than all the troubles of my childhood combined.

At this time, I couldn't think of anything else in my sad heart, tears were already rolling in my eyes, and I couldn't help but wail, why am I so useless! What kind of dance are you dancing?! Your Majesty saw them all!!!

At this time, Zhiyu gently patted the door outside: "Niangniang, Your Majesty has left." ”

I asked aggrievedly, "Really?" ”

Instead of sympathizing with me, the stinky girl smiled: "Haha, really! Mother, just come out, what do you say you're shy?! ”

I tried to open the door slightly, and looked around along the slit, and only after I did not find His Majesty's figure did I open it carefully.

After making sure he was gone, I didn't know whether I was happy or lost, and I let out another long sigh, and I heard the little girl's giggles.

Well, she's hit the muzzle of my gun, and I'm sure I'm going to take all the anger out of her.

"You stinky girl, what are you laughing at? Just now you knew that Your Majesty was coming, but you didn't tell me! Make a fool of me! You just did it on purpose! ”

I was about to go over and pinch her face, but she laughed and dodged, clamping my hands: "Slave, this is to help you, Niangniang, your dancing posture has been seen by His Majesty, what's wrong?" Your Majesty, I just praised you, the posture of heaven and man, what, never ......"

"Ah!!!!!!!!! Shut up! ”

I opened her hands to cover her mouth, which was about to me off.

He suddenly changed his serious look, grabbed my hands, and said seriously: "Niangniang, why are you resisting like this? Let Your Majesty know how good you are, okay? The slave and maid can see clearly, Your Majesty may have snubbed you in the past, but now Your Majesty must have you in his heart, why have you been dodging and not responding? ”

In a word, I was stunned by what she said, and the water sleeve in my hand had not yet come off, dragging it on the ground for a long time, dividing the floor tiles into several pieces, like a flowing mouth, just like my heart.

The feeling of dazedness that I felt at the moment after dancing just now swept over my body and mind again.

Your Majesty's heart...... Is there me?

How many times I have dreamed back at midnight, I can't help but think about this question.

It is true that after Sun Miaohua left, His Majesty's attitude towards me gradually improved, and some of his actions and words, I could still tell myself at the beginning, don't think too much.

But now I can't control myself and not think about it.

I would hope that what he said was what I understood, that I was no longer his nominal queen, and that I might be able to become a wife whom he truly recognized in his heart.

Maybe my expression was too heavy or complicated at the moment, Zhiyu didn't say anything, gently walked behind me, took off the water sleeve for me, and gently helped me back to the dormitory.

She summoned someone to pass the water, helped me to get closer, and dismantled the ring. I was at his mercy and looked at myself in the mirror in a daze.

I always knew I was born beautiful.

There are many people who praise my beauty since I was a child, and I don't have the slightest pride and superiority at all, on the contrary, it makes me feel irritable. But if Your Majesty compliments me on my beautiful makeup today, I will be happy, and I will have a little pride.

I have danced many times since I was a child, and I have heard countless beautiful words. But now that I think about it, what is directly seared in my heart is the sentence I will never forget.

Is that what you like?

Is this love?

Am I the same as the women whom I once scorned for lingering in love, and who were devoted only to their husbands, trying in vain to share a little favor?

I look at myself in the mirror, it's not that I'm proud and complacent, my face is definitely in front of His Majesty's harem now.

That...... What about the harem that used to be?

The once glamorous Concubine De Niangniang......

I suddenly realized that I was crazy, and I was comparing my own face to Sun Miaohua.

I closed my eyes violently, raised my hand and hammered the dresser hard, startling Zhiyu.

"?!"

Why should I do such a self-deprecating thing, I am who I am, why do I have to compare myself with others to see how good I am?!

"Freshen up, Zhiyu."

I sat in the tub and forced myself to calm down.

Fu Jiaoyao, you are sober, now it is only because Sun Miaohua is dead, and his love for Sun Miaohua is shared with all the people, so that you feel that he is different from you before, how can you be confused by the emperor's love?

I used to think that I couldn't be trapped in the love of the royal family, what I got was all I had, but what he paid was only his share of the rain and dew.

This is destined to be a broken journey, and I don't want to go.

How can an emperor love only one person?

His heart is filled with too much, how much will he leave for me?

"Niangniang, the slave has something to say to you."

I probably know what she's going to say, probably trying to persuade me to compete for favor, "Say it." ”

"Niangniang, aren't you scared?"

I was stunned, and my heart was turbulent by her words. Didn't even have the courage to look back at her.

"Niangniang, according to the slave maid, if you are afraid, there is really no need. Have you ever wondered? If you live your life just to fulfill your duties, as you think, wouldn't your life be too monotonous? Didn't even try it. ”

"Perhaps, it will be different if you try it, at least you have gotten it, and besides, Your Majesty is not as ruthless as you think."

Not that heartless? "Zhiyu, if you have to lose it again after you get it, it's better to never get it."

She suddenly became excited: "How do you know that you are destined to lose?" You know how good you are, you have been the best of your generation since you were a child, why don't you have the confidence to keep Your Majesty's heart for the rest of your life. ”

I smiled softly: "Zhiyu, I really don't have this confidence." You know. In the past, I didn't want to compete for favor because I didn't think there was anything to fight for. I think I'm worthy of Fu Jiaoyao, I'm worthy of a man's affection, but I'm married into the royal family. ”

How can he treat someone sincerely? The royal family wants to spread out, and it is the most correct thing for him to spoil other women, and if I go with the woman she has pampered to win his favor, then I will be compared with others, and I need to use all means to fight.

"I need him to prove himself, how good I am when I am with others, but Zhiyu, I don't want to! Why is it better to compare yourself with others? Am I not worthy of a direct choice alone! ”

She squatted down and looked at me seriously: "Niangniang, you are worthy, in the eyes of the slave, you are the best woman." ”

"Niangniang, have you ever thought about it? Maybe you're the one who doesn't have to be compared, and His Majesty will choose you? ”

"Heh, then you tell me, he pays attention and cares about me, why after Sun Miaohuahua dies?"

He stopped talking, "If I am really what you say, why couldn't he see me before?" Isn't it, I'm not as good as Sun Miaohua in everything, and after she died, I was put in the harem, so I became his best choice? ”

"Mother, you think so! In any case, if you can accept Your Majesty, Your Majesty will definitely favor you! ”

"Pampering?" I sneered, "My father didn't have an aunt who didn't have a room before, it was the one who died after having a difficult birth, and my mother recognized the younger brother who was not born as her own son and entered the ancestral hall of the lineage, and my father didn't continue to take concubines because he knew that his mother was virtuous." ”

I turned my head to stare at Zhiyu: "In the past, when there was a room, my father stayed at my mother's place for more than 20 days a month, and the dignitaries and noblewomen's families praised my father for doting on my mother, Qin Se and Ming, and even my mother herself felt that my father doted on her very much, is this pampering?" ”

"I haven't understood since I was a child, and now, I don't want to understand it even more, I love Your Majesty, and my heart is full of only Your Majesty. But the love of Your Majesty in your mouth is the love of me and the concubines of the harem. Zhiyu, is this just pampering? ”

"Niangniang, you obviously have Your Majesty in your heart, why do you embarrass yourself like this?"

"If I like him and I can't love him, I'm just a miserable life, but if my heart is answered, but His Majesty's response is unacceptable to me, then it's better to love and not be able to come."

"Mother's ......"

"Don't say it, I'll think about it myself, Zhiyu, I'm sleepy, go to bed."

I lay down under the quilt and quietly watched as Zhiyu lowered the curtain next to the bed for me.

I said softly: "Zhiyu, what I just said, isn't it too shocking?" I guess few people think like me, if I let go and compete for favor, I can live better, but now I can't let go of my body, Zhiyu, do you think I'm hypocritical? ”

She squatted down to pick up the broken hair in front of me for me, and said with a gentle expression: "Niangniang, in the eyes of the slave, you deserve the best treatment in the world, no matter what decision you make, the slave will support you." ”

"Zhiyu, you're so good to me."

She smiled: "Niangniang is also very good to slaves." Mother, sleep. ”

After Zhiyu closed the door, I was the only one left in the room, and I was still staring at the ceiling in a daze, just like the night I married into the East Palace many years ago.