Having gone through history, not many people will care about the mental journey of the loser.

Thirty-six years ago, Si Zhongxian was born in Xiuzhou, Zhejiang. Here is the place of Jiaxing in later generations, since ancient times it can be regarded as a prosperous place in the south of the Yangtze River, literati come out in large numbers, the family is scholarly, there are people in the court for several generations as officials, the father Si Wenzhong lives in the Ministry of Rites, although the position is not high, but it is still a respected member in the locality, the family history is profound.

When Si Zhongxian was born, it was a period of great rise in the prosperity of the Wu Dynasty, except for the later Blackwater Alliance, which highlighted the fatigue of the Wu Dynasty's military affairs, everything in front of him showed a prosperous situation.

With the advent of the prosperous era, there are many choices for people, Si Zhongxian has been smart since he was a child, and he doesn't like to abide by the rules and regulations at home. He has had a lot of questions since he was a child, and he does not accept all the things in the book, and many of the questions he asks make even the teachers in the school feel tricky.

Although his father is the most old-fashioned official of the Ministry of Rites, he is also a person with some real talents, and he is not only not angry at the child's "deviance", but often praises in front of others: This son will be our company's unicorn in the future.

Although the Si family is a scholarly family, after the Blackwater Alliance, Si Zhong showed his intention to practice martial arts, and Si Wenzhong also supported it. Later, when the Black Flag Rebellion, the Bianliang Military Disaster, and the shame of Jingping followed, and the imperial court wanted to revitalize the armed forces, Si Zhongxian, a Confucian general who was proficient in the art of war and did not break the rules, became the favorite object of both the royal family and the civil servants.

After the black flag crossed the mountains and took root in Liangshan, Shu became critical, and at this time, letting Si Zhongxian go out to the southwest and guard the Sword Pavilion was the embodiment of his most trust.

During the few years in the Sword Pavilion, Si Zhongxian did not live up to such trust and expectations. The various commodities and materials that flowed out of the Black Flag forces, he firmly grasped the level in his hands. As long as it can enhance the strength of the Wu Dynasty, Si Zhongxian has given a lot of convenience.

For all kinds of luxury goods that can bring great benefits to the Huaxia Army, Si Zhongxian did not blindly suppress them, he only restrained them in a targeted manner. For some well-known and loyal and patriotic businesses, Si Zhongxian tried hard to persuade the other party several times to explore and learn the methods of manufacturing items for the Black Flag Army, and in this regard, he even took the initiative twice to threaten the Black Flag Army to hand over some key technologies.

In front of Si Zhongxian, the Huaxia Army also made a lot of concessions, and over time, Si Zhongxian's fame became even greater.

During the period of guarding the Sword Pavilion, he did not only pursue the reputation in such a general direction, the Sword Pavilion was under the jurisdiction of Lizhou, but Si Zhongxian was nominally a Beijing official, and he was not subject to local control. In Lizhou, he is basically a grass king with independent authority. Si Zhongxian used this power, not only to protect the local security, the use of trade convenience, he also mobilized the local residents to do some supporting services, in addition, in the free period of training, Si Zhongxian learned from the Huaxia Army, mobilized the soldiers to reclaim land for the people, develop water conservancy, and soon after, also made many commendable achievements.

These things, in fact, are also the reason for the expansion of the army's strength during the Jianshuo period, Si Zhongxian is both civil and military, has great power, and is also friendly with many civilian officials, and other military intervention places may be involved in a few books every year, Si Zhongxian here - Lizhou is barren, except for Jianmen Pass, there is not much strategic significance - almost no one criticizes his behavior, even if he mentions it, most of them give a thumbs up and praise, which is a model for military reform.

For the official, for the world, for the court, for the people, before this, Si Zhongxian actually did it, which is also the core of the culture he has learned since childhood. It wasn't until the autumn of the eleventh year that the most difficult choice came to him.

The Jurchens came, Emperor Jianshuo died, his family was arrested, his father was sent over, the Wu Dynasty existed in name only, and the black flag was not righteous. From the perspective of the world, there are some things that are very well chosen: if you take refuge in the Huaxia army, the Jurchen invasion of the southwest will be the most hindered. However, he was an official of the Wu Dynasty, and in the end, he paid the life of his whole family for the Huaxia Army, so why did he come? Of course, this is not a choice.

For this matter, even if he asked his father, who was usually righteous and awe-inspiring, his father was completely unable to make a decision. Si Wenzhong is already old, and he teased Sun at home: "...... If it is for my Wu Dynasty, the Si family will be wiped out, you and I will ...... I also recognized it. But now, the Black Flag kills the king, and it is a great rebellion, and I will lose the whole family for them, I ...... I am unwilling. ”

Si Wenzhong said this in front of his son. Regarding the statement that he would protect the southwest for the Wu Dynasty and then wait for the opportunity to return, the old man also mentioned: "Although my Wu Dynasty has come to this point, I have grudges with the Jin people and the Black Flag, but after all, it is so far. The small court in Beijing is now controlled by the Jurchens, but there are still a large number of officials in the court who are concerned about the Wu Dynasty, but they dare not speak out...... Although the new monarch has been besieged in succession, I think this majesty is like a tiger, as long as he gets out of trouble, he will not be able to rise again in the future. ”

In the Sword Pavilion, Si Wenzhong lowered his voice and talked to his son about Junwu: "As long as the new monarch can get out of trouble, the Jurchen has leveled the southwest, and he can't stay here for a long time...... Of course, I am old, and my thoughts may be dim, and all decisions must be made by you. No matter what decision is made, there is a great righteousness, and our family will die or survive...... It doesn't matter, you don't have to bother. ”

However, although the old man is open-minded, he is not without tendencies in private. He is also concerned about his family in Jiangnan, and he is concerned about a few children with intelligent qualifications in the clan - who can not worry?

In fact, until the switch decision was made, Si Zhongxian had been considering the idea of conspiring with the Huaxia Army to lead the Jurchens into the siege and annihilate them.

By the end of September, lobbying from all sides had intensified, and hundreds of people were dying every day outside the Sword Gate, and the Jurchens farther away were preparing for a strong attack every day. The time to make a decision is near.

On the third day of October, his father came to talk to him again about making a decision, and the old man verbally expressed his support for all his actions, and Si Zhongxian said: "In this case, I am willing to hand over the sword gate to the black flag." ”

The old man did not persuade, but half a day later, he privately told the Jurchen envoy about the matter, and told the people who were inclined to reduce the gold in the closed door, and they tried to launch an army to arrest Si Zhongxian, but Si Zhongxian was already prepared, and the whole thing was pressed down by him. When he saw his father again after that, Si Zhongxian cried: "Since my father insists on this, then let's reduce the gold." It's just that the child is sorry for his father, and from now on, although the son will bear the charge of lowering the gold, the sin of the lowering of the gold will fall on the father......"

On the fifth day of the first lunar month, Jianmen Pass officially surrendered to the Jin State. It was raining, and Wanyan Zonghan walked past him and just patted him on the shoulder. In the next few days, it was just all kinds of feasts and touting, and no one cared about Si Zhongxian's heart in this choice.

That's fine.

In the sunny or rainy sky, the sword gate closed and quickly changed the flag, the Jurchen chariots and horses came like a torrent, the Wu Dynasty army moved out of the pass and went to the nearby Cangxi County garrison, Si Zhongxian waited in numbness for the flow of history to pass quietly by his side, only hoping that as soon as he opened his eyes, the world had another shape.

However, it didn't work out as he hoped.

On October 15, Wanyan Xianbao came to him. As the son of Wanyan Zonghan, Wanyan Xianbao, who was named the king of Baoshan, is a rough man with unscrupulous words, during the banquet in the past few days, he and Si Zhongxian had spoken considerate words and drank several cups, and after seeing him in the barracks this time, he pulled him out to run the horse with his shoulders hooked.

The horse team galloped up the nearby hills, and in front of them was the county seat of Cangxi.

The county seat is not big, due to the remoteness, before Si Zhongxian came to the Sword Pavilion, there were occasional bandits in the nearby mountains, in recent years, Si Zhongxian exterminated the bandit village, took care of the Quartet, the county life was stable, and the population increased. But it adds up to just over 20,000.

For Si Zhongxian's move to benefit the neighbors, Wanyan Xianbao also heard about it, and at this time, looking at the peaceful scene of the county, he praised it greatly, and then patted Si Zhongxian's shoulder and said: "There is something that has been decided, and it needs the cooperation of Lord Si." ”

"What?" Si Zhongxian frowned.

"It's for Cangxi County." Xianbao smiled, "Master Si also knows that the big war is imminent, and the grain and grass go first." The battle with the Black Flag is the last journey of my Dajin to pacify the world, and I can't overstate how to prepare. And just after this autumn, the grain and grass must be collected, the people who do things for the army must be pulled, and Cangxi also has to work hard. Master Si, this matter is placed in other places, and we are going to kill half and pull half, but considering Lord Si's face, for Cangxi for a long time, it has been decided in the big tent today, and this matter will be handed over to Lord Si to handle. There is also a number in the middle, Lord Si, please see, more than 30,000 Ding, 600,000 stone ...... grain"

Si Zhongxian listened, and gradually his eyes widened: "There are only more than 20,000 people in the whole city——"

"The whole county is more than that." ”

“…… There are also 600,000 stone grains, most of them are mountain people, and more than 30,000 people may have enough food for a year! The King—"

Si Zhongxian arched his hand, and was about to speak, but the hand of the oblique guard had already slapped down, and his eyes were impatient: "Master Si, brother!" I treat you as a brother, I don't have to pretend to be confused, the place west of Jianmen Pass is very close to the Black Flag, these villagers, who knows if they will pick up swords and guns and become soldiers, really let my uncles come over, there are no living people here. Moreover, this is an opportunity for you, a test for you, Brother Si. ”

Si Zhongxian's eyes trembled, and his emotions were already extremely intense: "Si Mou...... This place has been tended for years, and now, you let me ...... Ruined this place!? ”

"Vote, name, form." Wanyan Xianbao's body leaned over and patted the back of Si Zhongxian's hand, his voice was extremely low, "If you do this, you will be your own people." ”

“…… I have given way to the sword. ”

"You let go of the sword gate, you know that you are invincible, but whether you have the same heart with us in private, who knows?" Xianbao shook his head, and then smiled, "Of course, brother, I believe in you, and my father also believes in you, but what about the uncles in the army?" This expedition to the southwest has been decided, and I will do it if I promise you. The soldiers under your command, we won't move forward, but after the southwest fight, you are the king of Shu, so honorable and high-positioned, to convince the uncles in the army, you just need to do something a little, a little......"

Wan Yan Xianbao made a rather "slightly" gesture, waiting for Si Zhongxian's answer. Si Zhongxian's hand was already shaking when he held the war horse, and he was silent for a long time, and his voice was hoarse: "What if...... What if I don't do it? Before you ...... didn't say this, you said it well, and now you have to go back on your word and make inches. Aren't you afraid that other people in the world will see it and will not compromise with you Jurchens again? ”

He obviously summoned up a lot of courage to say this, and the corners of Wan Yan's mouth gradually turned into a sneer, his eyes became fierce, and then he took a long breath: "Master Si, first of all, my Jurchen people dominate the world, and they have never been negotiated through negotiations!" You are the most special person. And then, Lord Si, you are my brother, and you yourself say what you would do if you were us? Shu land is thousands of miles of fertile fields, after this battle, you are a prince, today I want to give you these things, but you say, if I trust you and give you this place better, or do I suspect you and give you this place better? ”

"Master Si, brother, brother, this is from the bottom of my heart. If you do this, you can hold it in your hand, so that it is not hot. Otherwise, of course it will be given to you, can you get it, Si Daren, you think for yourself - the uncles in the army gave you this mission, I really love you, and I also hope that you will be the king of Shu in the future, and you will really be of the same heart as my Dajin...... Not to mention you personally, your 20,000 brothers are all waiting for you to seek prosperity for them. ”

Wanyan Xianbao said this, looked in the direction of the county seat, paused slightly, a slightly cool wind was blowing from there, Si Zhongxian heard him say: "Moreover, even if you don't do it, what's the difference between things......

His words were an understatement, and Si Zhongxian's body trembled and he almost fell off his horse. After that, he said two sentences without saltiness, and Si Zhongxian didn't react when he said goodbye, and he didn't think he was angry, and rode away with a smile.

At this time, he had already given up the most critical Sword Pavilion, and the 20,000 soldiers under his command were said to be elite, in fact, there was a considerable gap between the Jurchens and the Black Flag, and after there were no key chips, if the Jurchens really didn't plan to be trustworthy, he could only let them be slaughtered.

After Wanyan Xiebao's horse team completely disappeared from view, Si Zhongxian stayed quietly on the hillside for a long time before returning to the barracks. He looks dignified, not angry but mighty, it is difficult for others to see too much emotion from his face, coupled with the recent change of flag and complicated situation, it is normal for him to look a little haggard, and when he met with his father in the afternoon, Si Wenzhong still sighed and persuaded.

“…… At this point, what can those who do great things do but look forward? Zhongxian, you are the Qilin of the Si family, you have protected all your family, the people in the family, you will remember you for generations......"

“…… In fact, my father has been in the Ministry of Rites for many years, reading some sage articles, talking about rules and etiquette, but after reading a lot of books, I will find that these things are all four words, and the king will be defeated ......"

“…… In the future, when you return Sichuan and Shu to the Wu Dynasty, the people of the world will thank you......"

Si Zhongxian also seemed to have figured it out, he nodded solemnly and saluted his father. On this day and night, he returned to the room, took a drink and drank alone, and someone was brought in outside, it was Ji Yuanjing, the black flag envoy who had previously negotiated with Ning Yi to Jianmen Pass, the other party was also a serious person, it seemed that he was a little more wild than Si Zhongxian, and when Si Zhongxian decided to sacrifice Jianmen Pass, he drove all the black flag messengers away from the gate.

"The Huaxia Army has great magical powers."

Si Zhongxian was not surprised that Ji Yuanjing could sneak in, he put down a wine glass and poured wine for the other party, Ji Yuanjing sat down, picked up the wine glass in front of him, and put it aside: "General Si, restrain yourself from the precipice, it's not too late, you are a person who knows the general situation, I am here to persuade you." ”

Si Zhongxian smiled: "I thought Mr. Ji was just serious, and he usually smiled...... That's what you are, right? ”

"The people of the Chen family have promised to dedicate the entire Qingchuan to the Jurchens, all the food will be swept away by the Jurchens, and everyone will be driven to the battlefield, Cangxi must have the same fate. We have to mobilize the people, and before the Jurchens resolutely go to the mountains to take refuge, on the side of Cangxi, if General Si is willing to do it, there are countless people who can be saved. General Si, you have been guarding the people here for many years, so do you have to watch their family die? ”

Si Zhongxian sat there, silent for a moment, his eyes moved: "Save them, my family, they are going to die." ”

"General Si really has the intention of going anyway, so it can be seen that Ji's adventure today is also worth it." Listening to Si Zhongxian's wavering words, Ji Yuanjing's eyes became clearer, it was a look of hope, "Regarding General Si's family, it is our fault that we failed to save it, the second batch of manpower has been mobilized, this time we must be foolproof." General Si, the fall of the Han people is imminent, the Jurchens are cruel and cannot be friends, as long as you and I have this consensus, it is okay not to do it now, you and I can make an alliance, as long as Xiuzhou's action is successful, General Si will give the Jurchens a hard blow in the rear. It's not too late to make a decision. ”

“…… I know the meaning of Huaxia Army's fist. Si Zhongxian had a sarcastic smile on his face and drank a glass of wine, "It's just that at this time, how much can things be saved?" Mr. Ji, I abandoned the Sword Gate, I have already made a big mistake, and I will continue to break it, and I have to do it anyway at this time, maybe I will be tired of my family to death...... Why should I bother? ”

"General Ruosi was able to bring the Sword Gate Pass to fight against the Jurchens with our Huaxia Army, of course, it is an excellent thing. But since something bad has happened, we shouldn't complain, and if we can redeem a point, it will be a point. General Si, for the sake of the people of the world, even if it is only for the tens of thousands of people in Cangxi, turn back to the shore. As long as General Si can figure it out at the last moment, our Huaxia army will regard the general as its own person. ”

Ji Yuanjing's words were sincere. In fact, he has dealt with Huaxia Army a lot in the past few years, and Si Zhongxian has long understood the other party's style of acting, and knows that what the other party says is sincere. He just sat like that, and after a while, "haha" laughed, then changed to "hehe", and finally became a choked "woo".

This emotional out-of-control did not last long, Ji Yuanjing sat quietly and waited for the other party's reply, Si Zhongxian lost his temper for a moment, and calmed down on the surface, the room was silent for a long time, Si Zhongxian said: "Mr. Ji, I have been thinking hard for the past few days, and I have found out the truth. Do you know why I have to give way to the sword gate? ”

Ji Yuanjing pondered for a moment: "General Si's family fell into the hands of the golden dog, and it was human nature to do it as a last resort. ”

"Hehe, human nature...... Si Zhongxian repeated, shaking his head, "You said human nature, just to comfort me, my father said human nature, to deceive me." Mr. Ji, I was born in a scholarly family since I was a child, Kong said Chengren Meng said to take righteousness, foreign insults are coming, what to choose, I still understand. I know too much about the truth, I think too clearly, I know the pros and cons of surrendering the Jurchen, and I also know the pros and cons of uniting the Huaxia Army, but in the final analysis...... In the end, I realized that I was a weak person, and I couldn't even show the courage to make decisions. ”

He quietly poured himself wine: "If you take refuge in the Huaxia Army, your family will die, it is human nature to care about your family, and if you take refuge in the Jurchens, everyone in the world will scold me in the future, I will be put in the history books, and I will be scolded on the pillar of shame for thousands of years, which is also something that I have thought of for a long time." So, Mr. Ji, in the end, I didn't make this decision on my own, because I ...... Weak and incompetent! ”

Ji Yuanjing frowned: "General Si didn't make his own decision, so who made the decision?" ”

"Don't talk about him. I didn't make the decision, but I have to fight the regret now. Mr. Ji, I betrayed you, the Jurchens promised that I would be the king of Shu in the future, and I would become a big man who stomped my feet and shook the whole world, but I finally saw it clearly, to get to this level, you have to have the courage to see through people's normal feelings. Resist the Jin people, the family will die, even so, you can only choose to resist the Jin, in the face of the world, you have to have such courage. He drank his wine, "I don't have the courage." ”

“…… This is a bit extreme. Ji Yuanjing was a little hesitant.

"I didn't choose to resist gold when I was at Jianmen Pass, Jianmen Pass was lost, today I resist Jin, my family is dead, I'm a joke again, no matter what, I'm a joke...... Mr. Ji, when you go back, you can bring a message to Mr. Ning for me, okay? ”

"......" Ji Yuanjing was silent for a moment and nodded solemnly.

Si Zhongxian laughed: "You tell him for me, he killed the emperor, it's too deserved." He dared to kill the emperor, it was amazing! ”

"General Division......"

Glass after glass of wine, Si Zhongxian's face only occasionally sneered, occasionally indifferent, he looked out the window, in the dark night, tears slid down his face: "I'm just a coward who doesn't even dare to make a decision at a critical time, but...... But why? Mr. Ji, this world is ...... It's too difficult, why is there such a world, so that people have to be calm about the death of the whole family, in order to be a good person...... The way of the world—"

He was so depressed that he slammed his fist on the table and foamed at the mouth of his mouth. After venting like this, Si Zhongxian was quiet for a while, and then raised his head: "Mr. Ji, do what you have to do, I'...... I'm just a coward. ”

"General Si, shame is almost brave, many things, as long as you know the problem, can be changed, you care about your family, even in the future history books, it may not be impossible to give you a ......"

"Come on, send him out!" Si Zhongxian shouted, and the personal guard came in, Ji Yuanjing wanted to say something, but Si Zhongxian waved his hand: "Safely!" Send him out! ”

Ji Yuanjing knew that this negotiation had failed.

He turned to leave, but there was still some hope in his heart. Si Zhongxian was obviously in a mood disorder tonight, but he already had remorse in his heart, if this war continued, sooner or later he would be rebelled against - a team of more than 20,000 people could still play a big role at a critical time.

I can only hope for the next meeting.

The stars and moon are sparse, the distant mountains are building, after leaving the barracks, looking at the county town of Cangxi not far away, this is still a peaceful and quiet night.

That night, Si Zhongxian sharpened his blade. He slit his throat in the room and killed himself.

Coming to this point, forward and backward, he has no choice, surrendering to the Huaxia Army at this time, catching up with his family, he is a joke, cooperating with the Jurchens, sending all the nearby residents to the battlefield, he also has no way to start. He killed himself, he was no longer responsible for Cangxi's affairs, and endured the torment of his soul, and his family had no use value from now on, and they were finally able to survive.

When the news reached the Jurchen camp, Wanyan Zonghan nodded: "Well, it's a man...... Find someone to replace him. ”

“…… Naji Zhongxian. The adjutant was a little hesitant.

Zong Han thought about it: "In my name, write a condolence message, just say that General Si is righteous anyway, and he was assassinated and killed by the Black Flag bandits, and the Jurchens will destroy the Black Flag to avenge General Si." In addition......"

"——Set up a good monument and bury the general."

"Yes."

Having gone through history, not many people will care about the mental journey of the loser.

Soon after, Si Zhongxian was forgotten.