When I took a shower, I looked at my slightly bloated body and scars in the foggy mirror, and I was sad, I wondered, how did these scars come about?

It's like suddenly losing my memory, forgetting what I have done before, forgetting those laughter, forgetting the mud and sweat, and forgetting the blood and tears.

I never understood what the doctor meant by avoidant personality.

After I took a shower and looked up information on the Internet, I realized that this is one of the types of post-traumatic stress disorder, which is a psychological reaction to avoidance problems.

It's just that the subconscious always deliberately doesn't let me think about it, and to put it bluntly, it can be regarded as a protective mechanism for human beings.

I lay on the couch staring at the roof in a daze, not thinking about anything, trying to relax myself.

I thought that as long as I relaxed enough, I would not be sick - because since I met the platoon commander, sometimes the inexplicable feeling of irritability, fear, and anxiety rushing over my heart is almost worse than death, and I am afraid that I will do something dangerous, so I went to the kitchen and put away all the knives and tried not to put them in a conspicuous place.

What good can this be? Of course, it's still useful, at least I think my IQ should be relatively low when I get sick.

So I took a few pills of the medicine that the doctor prescribed for me, which was an anti-anxiety drug, and I didn't know if it had any effect, anyway, after taking it, it would make me not upset when I was alone, which was somewhat similar to the effect of tranquilizers.

Remembering what the doctor said, I closed my eyes and began to think, what happened?

I remember the attack on the border, I remember being in a prison, so much so that I remember a lot of things afterwards, even the conversations and expressions between us, I remember everything clearly.

But when I got to the primeval forest, I seemed to have forgotten everything.

Like a big lock that firmly sealed that memory, the key was pinched in my own hand, but I didn't dare to open it.

I opened my eyes and got up and walked to the bedroom, and stood in front of the closet for a few seconds, then I reached out and opened the closet, and there was a partition at the bottom of the closet, and I didn't even think about lifting it.

It contains memories of years of me, and I've been hiding them here since I moved here.

Looking at the contents of it, I couldn't help but tears poured out, there were several military merit medals in it, the highest one was a second-class military merit medal, three third-level military merit medals, and some proofs, and there were many, many souvenirs I brought back, bullet casings, and finally, a military uniform with the rank removed.

Flipping through the back, there are some photos and group photos, on which the young faces are all full of happy smiles.

I continued to scroll down and found a photo wrapped in paper.

I wiped my tears, opened it with trembling hands, as for the content of the photo, it was me lying on the bed with bandages, the magpie talking to me next to me, Yang Yuan looking at me, Xiao Wu was on guard by the window, Li Xiao made a "yes" gesture in the lens, and the photo was Ercheng, half of his face was at the bottom of the photo, staring at half of his face full of seriousness, and Li Xiao who was smiling and gesturing next to him was in stark contrast.

I couldn't help laughing at first, this photo was taken by Ercheng borrowing the magpie's mobile phone at the time, it would be the first day our group first met, I didn't know about it at the time, who knows, this is also the only photo we took together.

Later, the magpie printed out the photo and gave it to me, and I have kept it until now.

I looked at all the faces in the photo, tears kept dripping down my scarred face and fell to the ground, finally, I couldn't control my emotions anymore, and I cried in a low voice in a dark and narrow room, I didn't dare to cry too loudly, I was almost thirty years old, and I cried so loudly, isn't it very embarrassing? How can a person who is almost thirty years old still be like this?

In a trance, the smell of the sweltering humidity of the jungle and the rotting plants began to fill my noses, and the sound of salsa on the fallen leaves as we marched and the heavy breathing of each other began to play.

Those memories rushed into my mind like a tide at this time, and the memories that I locked up were still opened by myself.

I had always thought of this primeval forest as the Death Zone, and we came in.

The climate of this primeval forest seems to be very different from those on the Yunnan-Burma border, the trees here are so dense that we were a little blindsided as soon as we entered, and I even suspect that no one has set foot here for hundreds of years.

Don't say that the road is good or not, the road is not very steep, because there is no road for us to walk at all, only patches of trees and half-man-high weeds.

What the fuck is the way people can go? It's nothing, the main thing is that the feeling in the air makes us very uncomfortable as soon as we come in, first of all, the smell of rotting plants, most of which are emitted by piles of fallen leaves under our feet, anyway, the smell seems to be in your lungs and can't be dissipated at all, the more you breathe, the more you come in.

Later, we didn't dare to pant too much, and Yang Yuan led us forward while hitting the grass in front of us with a stick.

We don't know if there are any poisonous snakes here, and Yang Yuan can only use this trick to explore the way, otherwise, it is really better to be bitten by a poisonous snake than to let the enemy collapse with one shot.

We didn't walk for a long time we feel very uncomfortable with sticky up and down, the air here is definitely not circulating, even if there is wind from above, it can't blow down at all, Ercheng reminds us that the breeding of bacteria in this environment is the most serious, so that none of us should be injured, otherwise the risk of infection wounds is very large.

Yang Yuan held a gun in front and slowly advanced while knocking on the grass in front of him, and we also vigilantly followed behind, responsible for searching for our own direction and angle.

Half-human tall grass tickled across my gun-wielding hand as we moved.

We were moving very slowly, after all, we had almost no cover or escape route in the woods, and it was very dangerous if we encountered enemy troops and exchanged fire.

These half-human-tall bushes under our feet are not everywhere, and when we came to a flat area, Yang Yuan squatted down and gestured to stop advancing.

After only an hour's work, all of us seemed to be very dehydrated, it was so stuffy and hot that our bodies lost water so quickly that it was terrifying.

My heart also started beating wildly, I don't know if it was a lack of oxygen, I didn't dare to breathe heavily, because once I gasped, the disgusting smell of rot filled my nose.

Later, I also felt that the field training in the forests of our country is like a heaven and an underground compared to here, at least we still go to training often, and there are still some traces of popularity and human life in it.

In this bird place, let alone people, I began to wonder if the wolf howl I heard was my hallucination.

I can't figure out how wolves can live here, and the vitality of this creature is so tenacious.

In addition, the border of this country is simply one of the most changed places I have ever seen, just coming all the way is like experiencing the four seasons of spring, summer, autumn and winter, and the temperature difference between the white night is also the largest fluctuation I have ever seen, and then the border is also such a disgusting primeval forest grows in this large area.

If I want to scold my mother, I can only hold it in my stomach, and the god of the province is seeing that I am not happy and will get some moths for me.

"Stop for a moment and drink water."

Yang Yuan looked around, and after confirming that it was safe, he greeted him.

We all carefully squatted on the ground and took out the kettle to drink a little, but we didn't dare to drink too much.

The magpie seemed to be entering the forest for the first time, and she was not used to the environment here at all, she was already sweating, so she took off her helmet and wanted to cool off for a while.

Also, the people of the People's Security Bureau are not as cheap as us, what are we, digging into the forest and sleeping on the soil slope to lick the dew on the leaves of the trees, no matter how bad the people are, most of them are in the city to complete the task, and the funds are provided by the state, and the conditions are simply one in the sky and one in the ground.

But it's not difficult to see that the magpie is also a ruthless character these days, at least I haven't seen a second woman who can suffer the same as us like the magpie, I don't discriminate against women, really, I only say my opinion, in my military career, I just haven't seen the second one, this is not a little fake.

What are Special Forces? The simple summary of special forces is that they can endure hardships very well, and if they can't endure hardships, don't be special forces, which is a very simple truth.

Magpie is different, although she is a member of the Security Service and not a special soldier, but I speculate that the Security Service ostensibly cooperates with us, but in fact allows Magpie to monitor and accompany us throughout the process to ensure that the data is not lost.

Many things can be guessed, but whether they can be fulfilled or not depends only on luck, and blindly seeking to verify these things will not do you any good.

"This place, worse than the forests of our country, fuck it!" Ercheng took a sip of water and complained.

Xiao Wu squatted next to me and didn't speak, Yang Yuan thought for a while, and then said to the magpie: "Can you adapt?" ”

The magpie nodded and put the helmet on: "I said, you can, and I can too." ”

"Team Leader Yang, this can't be done, it's only been an hour, our water loss is too great, and the follow-up supply is also a problem, the environment here is worse than I imagined." Ercheng said.

"Yes, I didn't expect it to be like this, Xiao Wu, go and arrange a ** in the place where we came."

"Yes!"

Xiao Wu got up and took out an anti-infantry ** from his bag after answering, this is what Xiao Wu has been wearing in his backpack, a total of two, it is a single-sided explosion anti-infantry ** often used by snipers, and it is what we often call a broadsword**, which reads: This is facing the enemy with four big characters.

"If I were an enemy, I would never chase after me, and even if I did, I wouldn't chase me so closely."

Ercheng stood up and said.

Yang Yuan didn't speak, this guy hadn't spoken much since he came in, as if he had been thinking about the problem.

I didn't speak the whole time, because I didn't know what to say, so I just sat on the floor and gasped.

After Xiao Wu came back, Yang Yuan stood up and picked up his gun: "This forest may not be easy to walk, let's keep going!" Maybe you'll be able to catch your breath soon. ”

What Yang Yuan said was obviously framing us, wanting us to be motivated, in fact, even if he didn't say this, what else could we do? Go back? That's really a nervous disorder, so what can you do if you don't leave?

Yang Yuan was still in front of us, but this time, we didn't take a few steps before Yang Yuan stopped, and then stared at the ground in a daze.

"What's going on?" We're all curious.

Yang Yuan gestured: "Be vigilant around!" Fast! ”

When we heard this, we immediately unfolded our tactical formation, nervously holding our guns and checking the movements around us.

I don't know what Yang Yuan discovered, but I'm sure it must not be a good discovery.

"Safety!" "Safety!"

"Come here, y'all!" Yang Yuan squatted on the ground and touched something with his hands moving left and right.

We walked over vigilantly, and only then did we see that Yang Yuan was stroking a thin white thread.

One end of the white line was attached to a tree on one side, and I looked over and saw two fragmentation grenades tied to the tree.

"Fuck! It seems that someone has already come in first. ”