Chapter 38: Who Am I?
After Wang Yishi found that his memory was not good, he also found that things he had not done before would often appear in front of him.
What's even stranger is that some things that have never been heard or seen with one's own eyes are becoming clearer and clearer, as if they had been experienced by oneself, as if they had just happened yesterday.
He didn't know what was wrong with him.
It's just that he suddenly found himself helpless, and he wanted to find someone to talk to, but he didn't know who to talk to, and his best friend Xiao Ke couldn't understand his panic.
Only then did he think of Master Zhong Bifare, oh, it turned out that he had been away from Master for two years.
In the past two years, he has been busy with the business of the Cool Killing Society, and he has not gone back to visit him, and I don't know what his old man is like now.
He suddenly found that his memory of his master began to blur, and what was even more terrifying was that he found that there seemed to be another person in his body, and this person was becoming clearer and clearer, and even came out, he didn't know why he became like this.
He slapped himself in the face to sober himself up, but he couldn't help but think: This can't be a sign before death, right?
He was startled at the thought of death, and before that, death was such a distant thing!
But why do I think of death now?
He had heard that there were things that could not be thought of, and when you thought about them, they came, and death was coming.
He thought to himself, even if death came, who could resist it?
Or death is coming at any time, and he doesn't know if other people who are about to die will feel like him.
He was only a little scared at first, but the more scared he was, the more vague his memories of the past became, and the memories of the other became clearer.
He was even worried that if he continued like this, he would probably wake up the next day, and he would probably no longer be Wang Yishi.
If so, where would I go?
If I were no longer Wang Yishi, who would it be?
He didn't dare to think about it anymore, and if he thought about it again, he would probably go crazy.
However, if a person can go crazy and turn himself into a madman, it is not a good thing to experience a life like a madman.
Thinking of this, he settled down and seemed to be better.
What to do? Now what?
He thought of wine, there was a jar of wine under the window, he couldn't remember when it was here, it must have been a long time ago, but he knew that it might be able to put him to sleep, and it didn't matter who it was the next day.
He poured a full bowl of wine and drank it all, then poured another bowl and drank it all.
He drinks a lot of alcohol, but he only drinks with friends, and when he is alone, he never drinks, because if he doesn't drink with his friends, the wine will lose the meaning of drinking, and he has always thought that he is a person who understands alcohol.
But now he finds that he doesn't really understand wine, and some wine needs to be drunk in a big gulp to be refreshing, and a large bowl to taste good.
He had now drunk five bowls in a row before he knew that the wine he had drunk in vain.
Many people often take it for granted that wine, like women, needs to be tasted slowly to be able to taste the mysteries, but now he suddenly found that slow drinking is not necessarily the highest level of drinking, and sometimes booze is much more enjoyable than slow drinking.
This truth can only be understood by those who are really good drinkers.
And Wang Yishi is now a good drinker, but other than that, he doesn't remember anything, and finally falls asleep.
In the dream, he walked under a big tree according to the mental method taught by the Master, adjusted his breathing, closed his eyes and sat still, and entered another state.
He couldn't remember how much time had passed, or an hour, or a day, or more.
When he opened his eyes, it was the middle of the night, but he saw a bright star, streaked across the sky, illuminating the darkness that had been silent for a long time, and although the sky returned to night after the light was illuminated, he could clearly see that the sky was still empty after the light.
Where am I? He asked himself.
No one answered, and they couldn't answer themselves.
He looked up at the sky again, and at this time, the farthest part of the horizon was already a morning glow.
Then he suddenly felt a coolness, oh, it turned out that there was an early morning rain dew on the bridge of his nose, and this rain dew not only cooled his nose, but when the breeze blew, the coldness quickly spread throughout his body.
He wanted to wipe it away, but he found that it was drifting away from him, flying farther and farther, even through the woods, through the mountains, through the layers of morning mist, and then into the river, following the river all the way east, and finally into the depths of the sea.
He thought he would never find it again, but no matter how the sea churned, it was still in his sight, and there were a few times when he thought it had disappeared into the depths of the water, never to reappear, but he still clearly recognized that it was the one that had cooled himself just now.
He suddenly found that he was sitting under the tree just now, but now he can follow this rain and dew to the depths of the sea, even if the sea is dry, it will still be there forever, because he found that around him, countless rain and dew exactly like it are constantly produced and disappeared.
He didn't know why he was able to see this, he even saw the sea rising under the sun, instantly turning into vapor, going up, going up, and then forming clouds, and finally turning into rain, falling from the sky, and then he heard the sound of rain seeping into the earth, and he heard the rain moistening everything, and even heard the sound of everything growing.
Oh, it turns out that all things in heaven and earth are changing with the four seasons, everything is constantly aging and constantly being reborn, and among the many things, which one is me?
All of a sudden, he thought, who am I? Where did it come from, and where did it end up?
Am I Wang Yishi?
No, Wang Yishi is just one person's name, and when I am gone, another person can also be called Wang Yishi.
And how can this Wang Yishi be me?
If this Wang Yishi is not me, then is there really another me in or beyond so many things?
He didn't know, so he began to look around, and found that everything had quietly changed, and he knew that all this was no longer what it had been, although they were all exuding the same aura, but everything was completely different, including the land and everything, was slowly fading, and finally turned into nothingness, everything disappeared in an instant, but it seemed to be everywhere, because everything was regenerated.
It's like a star in the sky, short-lived, and then nothing.
He suddenly found that he was no longer Wang Yishi, because Wang Yishi could not have insight into these things.
If I am no longer Wang Yishi, who am I?
At this time, he suddenly heard someone constantly calling a name, Zhou Yuanzhi, Zhou Yuanzhi, Zhou Yuanzhi......
Who is Zhou Yuanzhi? Why haven't you heard this name before?
Is Zhou Yuanzhi me? Of course not.
Could it be that there is a person named Zhou Yuanzhi next to me?
I don't know, I need to look at it to find out, but he finds that he can't see anything, it's pitch black.
What's going on? I could see a lot of things just now, why can't I see them now?
Could it be that I just dreamed and now I woke up, but after waking up, why can't I open my eyes?
He suddenly felt someone shaking him and said, "Wake up, wake up, you've been asleep for a long time."
So he opened his eyes violently, and finally saw that all around him were white, dazzlingly white, so white that it made people headaches, but he didn't dare to close his eyes again, he was worried that he would not be able to open them again, just like just now.
As he gradually got used to the white light, he found two people standing in front of him, an old man and a woman, the old man seemed to be familiar, and the woman had seen it in her dreams.
Am I still dreaming?
He was thinking about it, when the woman shook him and said, "Haven't you woken up yet, Zhou Yuanzhi, you're scared me to death."
He looked at the woman in front of him, then at the old man in front of him, and then at the other place, and there was no one else except white.
He asked suspiciously, "Are you calling me?" β
The woman said, "Are you stupid again?" As soon as you finish telling the story, did you become a different person? β
He was still wondering: "Is my name Zhou Yuanzhi?" β
Sasha smiled: "If you don't call Zhou Yuanzhi, do you still call Wang Yishi?" β
He replied, "I am Wang Yishi, do you know me?" β
Hearing him say this, Sasha and Dr. Chung froze, looked at each other, and were speechless......