Suddenly, I was back on that snowy night.

The cold around her body was wave by wave, the wind roared, the goose feather snowflakes were extremely cold, and the body would be warm, she squeezed in the pyre and refused to come out, and saw the mother coming over, crying: "What am I for you?" Why is it not a sister? What am I for? ”

She was five years old that year, but that question was indeed what she should have asked.

She grew up in a small fishing village in the south of the Yangtze River, but she did not make a living from fishing, she had an older sister at home, and a younger brother below, she was the younger sister of her sister, the younger sister, the second in line. But I don't know what Lu Dao is for, the harvest of the land is fine, my father is still helping in the rich man's workshop, but the family is getting poorer and poorer, and she is only five years old She didn't understand these things at the time. It's just that the second time that person Yazi came to the house, it was that snowy night, she ran out, hid in the woodpile outside the house, and didn't dare to go home, until the mother came to find her.

"What am I for?"

She cried and asked, her family didn't say anything, but she just knew something. I don't know what the future holds, but I ...... to be sent out. Although she didn't have a lot of things at home and was very poor, she still knew that it was best to stay at home, which was better than outside.

She knew that it wouldn't be her brother who was sending it, but she didn't understand what it wasn't her sister, although she didn't want her sister to leave...... The mother hugged her and cried and said, "Because you are smart, you are smarter than your sister, you are smart, you are out of the road, and you have a way to live better than your sister." Don't blame your father, you blame your mother......"

She always remembered her mother crying and saying that she was smarter. She was sold and changed hands several times. Sold to the Qinglou, trained, beaten and scolded, full of hunger, hungry, after a few years, she grew up, beautiful appearance, and because of her intelligence, she was raised with good food and drink, and there were teachers to teach them manners. Teach them to read. Piano, chess, calligraphy and painting.

She always remembered her father and mother, and remembered that snowy night, that sentence You are smarter and have a better way to live than your sister. That's when she really understands that. I don't know if I want to hate my father and mother. Almost thirteen years old. She made her first appearance as a Qingqi person in the Qinglou to entertain guests. When she was almost fifteen years old, the copper coins and broken silver she had saved around her were finally exchanged for a large silver ingot. was finally able to get the brothel's mother to treat her squarely and give her a chance to go back to save her relatives.

She remembered that when Mother Yang told her about this, there was only a look of contempt and sarcasm on her face, and Mother Yang had always been indifferent to worthless women, and she was only afraid in her heart, and she couldn't understand the meaning of the other party's eyes. She held and held the ingots in her hands, and even asked Uncle Guinu of Jinfeng Lou to rent a pony carriage for her, all the way back, at that time she didn't think about how to face her father and mother, whether to hate them or forgive them, she thought that when she got to the place, she could figure it out, she could rely on the mood at that time, and turn around and leave them for the rest of her life without paying attention to them, or leave the ingots, turn around and leave, and never pay attention to them for the rest of her life. An ingot, fifty taels of silver, is enough for a family for a long time.

But she didn't get a chance to hate or forgive.

My father went to the mountains to chop wood, fell to his death, my younger brother was sick, and borrowed money from the rich man's family, but the illness was still not cured, and after my brother died, my mother also died. She remembered what her mother said, you are smart, maybe there is a way to live.

However, my sister married the son of the rich man's family as a concubine, and she is still alive.

So she changed into the clothes of the villagers, and went to look for her sister, but she didn't tell her sister that she had been a prostitute, and in the backyard of the rich man's house, her sister didn't ask her about her experience over the years, but kept talking about how she was competing for favor with several other concubines, seeing each other's unpleasant things, the bullying she was subjected to, and her husband, who had read some books, spent money in the kiln in the town all day long, and that kind of thing. She didn't stay until noon and left, because the rich man's son came back and saw her, and then his eyes changed a little, and then her sister looked at her own eyes also changed a little, and began to hesitate and be wary.

She was later able to become an Oiran in the Golden Wind Building, and her sister's appearance was not bad, but the difference in her upbringing in the past ten years was that although she was wearing patched clothes, she was too eye-catching compared to her sister, and her sister was ...... is even a little afraid that he will stay and compete with her for favor. She held the ingot, and followed Uncle Guinu back to Jinfeng Tower, the small fishing village, and she has never been there since.

She is a smart person and can have a way to live. Since then, she has known what she wants, and she wants to go down this life path happily and ...... At least it's much better than her father and mother's life, she doesn't think about it anymore, she is happy, maybe there will be a very powerful and powerful man with a good family background in the future, marry herself home, be a concubine, and live happily for a lifetime.

Of course, there are also some things that she has always looked forward to.

The young lady named Yunzhu saw her when she was studying with the teacher, she has a good temper and is willing to help others, I heard that she used to be a young lady of the official family, maybe what she has on her body is the temperament of the official lady, she doesn't have that kind of temperament, she just thinks ...... Some envy.

Of course, they didn't have much intersection with each other, and later they all became Qingqi people in Jinfeng Building, and they only nodded to each other. Jin'er felt that she had some longing for her, and that kind of longing was difficult to explain clearly. Of course, not everyone in the Golden Wind Building is used to Nie Yunzhu's style, some girls are very hostile to her, they can't get used to her background, they can't get used to her high-minded style, they can't get used to her unwilling to be happy, and they can't get used to her being unhappy like that, and she can have a reputation comparable to the most red oiran, even her mother Yang Xiuhong seems to be dissatisfied with Nie Yunzhu, and occasionally scolds her.

Yuan Jin'er, who untied the knot and saw the road ahead, was very happy, and soon there were more and more Yuan Bao'er around her, she just watched all this, released a little corner of her heart to look forward to the woman named Nie Yunzhu, and then maintained an indifferent nod with her. Later, Nie Yunzhu really left Jinfeng Building, Mother Yang is a person who is cold on the outside and hot on the inside, of course her kindness will not be casually released, but she cares about these capable women in the building. She once said that in that environment. If you don't fight for it, you don't deserve to live, and if you don't look beautiful, then God doesn't give you food, in such a world, don't complain.

She scolded and scolded like that, because she wanted Sister Yunzhu to recognize the reality and choose an easy path, but she still didn't succeed in the end, even so. She still gave Yunzhu the opportunity to come to the building to teach the piano.

But. I won't take that road, although I grow up and can recognize what I want in my heart, but it's all unnecessary and unnecessary. I'm smart. I will continue to walk on this path. Or. It's okay to say that I'm a utilitarian person, sometimes I feel that my father and mother will send me out. I just want to keep myself alive, and it's good to be alive...... It's just that when he saw that Nie Yunzhu was in an embarrassment, he couldn't help but want to send some money......

She is a utilitarian person, she convinces herself like this, but after reaching the worst, smart people still can't help but think about it. Coming out of the Golden Wind Building, is Mother Yang's knife mouth happy or disappointed? Maybe it's both. What do the heavenly fathers and mothers think? Do you feel like you're doing the right thing, or do you feel like you've given up on life? She didn't know what to say.

But she had a great time. The people who can come out of that environment can easily become close sisters, and they are close to each other, and she regards Sister Yunzhu as the closest person from then on. After that, there was also the strange man who would suddenly appear or disappear, which became a barrier between her and Sister Yunzhu, but it also took her to see a scenery that she had never thought of before.

Gradually......

I like to quarrel with him. Look at the way he tells jokes. There is no serious look. I like to see his helpless expression because he occupies Sister Yunzhu. I like to see his proud look after taking advantage of Sister Yunzhu because of his inattention. Did he know that he did it on purpose?

I like to see him calmly in front of himself and Sister Yunzhu. A calm look in front of others. I like to hear people talk about his news and hear people praise him. I like the way he looks when he's serious. I like the way he protects himself and Sister Yunzhu in front of the Su family. I like and dislike the way he looks when he's bloody. Will he know that he likes him so much......

It was also because of him and Sister Yunzhu that she gradually saw that in her heart, the little girl standing in the snowstorm, she was holding her ingots and crying all the time, she was in her heart, and she might be in pain. It's a pity that the little girl can't see it, and she can't feel the pain herself. Until now, she can gradually see her, and because she saw her, she felt that it was no longer painful.

***************

“…… There's nothing wrong with it, it's a disease or a disease. The mood is depressed, the blood is a little messy, there is something on the mind, I can't get out of my heart, sleep and diet are probably affected by it in the past few days, but it looks like the physical condition is good, and the time is not very long. Just prescribe some medicine, and if you drink it, you will deceive her...... The personality should have been more lively before, right? ”

Under the eaves, golden light sprinkled down, and the middle-aged doctor with the medicine box on his back said this, Ning Yi listened, looked back at the room, and then nodded: "Well, it's more lively...... Is it really okay? ”

"This kind of heart disease, it's not big, but it's small, some are actually not small, some women live in a deep house compound, they are depressed, they can't solve it, and if it goes on for a long time, it will be ten years and eight years of life." The middle-aged doctor gossiped for a while, and then shook his head with a smile, "But I think this girl, there should be no such thing, you find the crux of the problem, enlighten it, eat well, sleep soundly, and it will naturally be good...... I'll have someone deliver the prescription later, so I'll take my leave first. ”

"This is the consultation fee...... Thank you. Walking. Ning Yi took out the silver from his sleeve, and then gave his hand to the doctor to see away, he stood under the eaves and looked at the woman who was still sleeping on the bed in the room, for a moment, raised his head, took a breath, exhaled a long breath, and walked inside.

"It's really ......"

***************

When I woke up, I realized that I had that long dream. When I opened my eyes, the bright sunlight shone in the doorway, the powder of light swirled in the air, and the window on the other side was opened, and the wind blew in, and the feeling of coolness and brightness stirred the books and papers, and the sound of rattling and clattering.

Then she realized that she was sleeping on the bed in Ning Yi's room, and there seemed to be a wet towel on her forehead, which felt slightly cool and very comfortable, but the place she bumped into before was still a little painful, and I was afraid that she had a bag.

Turning his head, Ning Yi was sitting at the table sorting out his manuscript. Jin'er recalled that she messed up the other party's manuscript, and she felt a little weak, so she didn't dare to move, quietly closed her eyes, and pretended that she hadn't woken up.

It's not purely because of the manuscript that I can't face him, in this case, it's good to stick my head into the soil and pretend that the world is peaceful......

She thought to herself.

************

The new title is more appropriate, and the title of the previous love word should be the end of the top and bottom...... (To be continued......)