"Fuck you!" Wu Yuanming's punch fell and hit Kangxi's nose hard, Kangxi's nose, which was already bleeding, suddenly splashed blood, splashing Wu Yuanming's face all over his body. Without waiting for Kangxi to scream or say anything, Wu Yuanming's fist slap rained down on Kangxi's head and body, and Wu Yuanming's strength not only did not weaken because he knew Kangxi's identity, but he shot harder, beating Kangxi until his mouth was crooked, and his cheeks were cracked and he was not human. The most annoying thing is that Wu Yuanming beat him, and scolded while beating: "Dog pockmarks, thief pockmarks, little pockmarks, have you eaten the bear's heart and leopard gall?" Dare to pretend to be my Emperor of the Qing Dynasty, Emperor Shengzuren, Kangxi! ”

Wu Yuanming is indeed unlearned, the title of Emperor Shengzuren is the temple number given to Kangxi by his son Yongzheng after Kangxi's death, and it will not be used until more than 50 years later. But Kangxi was beaten by Wu Yuanming at the moment, his head was dizzy, and his mouth and nose were bleeding, so he could still hear the flaws in Wu Yuanming's words, so he just covered his head and face and screamed: "Wu Yingxiong, you dare to beat me?" Wu Yingxiong, I am the current emperor Kangxi! Ouch! Don't fight, I'm really Emperor Kangxi——! Cao Yin, the third-class sword-bearing guard who guarded Kangxi over there, also shouted: "Wu Yingxiong, he is really long live today!" I'm carrying the gold medal arrow of the Long Live Lord! It's in my arms! ”

"Whew!" Wu Yuanming spat out a mouthful of saliva, and shouted to the three brothers, Wu Lu, Wu Shou and Wu Xi: "Keep fighting!" This little thief dared to join forces with the thieves to pretend to be the current emperor and beat the son to death! There is a reward for killing this son! "Wu Yuanming knew that things had come to this point, and if he stopped and admitted defeat, he would be dead-beating the emperor of this dynasty in the street was tantamount to rebellion! That's a capital crime that my father Wu Sangui can't cover! At present, the only way is to resolutely deny Kangxi's identity and strive to make a person who does not know not guilty, so Wu Yuanming simply started more and more heavily, so as not to make Kangxi suspect that he was doing this on purpose.

"Shizi, it's better to be careful, just in case...... If he makes a mistake, the son of the world will be guilty. Wu Lu reminded in horror. The three brothers Wu Lu, Wu Shou and Wu Xi had Wu Yuanming's courage and scheming, and they were all suspicious of Wu Yuanming and Cao Yin's words, and they didn't dare to believe or disbelieve it, so they subconsciously stopped beating Cao Yin, and just held him down. And none of the onlookers, Xiao Maozi, Yu Kun and others dared to speak, for fear of causing a monstrous disaster. Among the streets of Nuoda and the thousands of people watching the excitement, Wu Yuanming was the only one left roaring, "A group of stupid people, look at it, this little pockmark with a sharp mouth and monkey cheeks, will it be the current emperor?" ”

"Wu Yingxiong, I am really the current emperor Kangxi, if you don't stop, I will cut off your Wu Sangui family from the king! Raid your home and destroy your door! Destroy the Nine Clans! Kangxi was indeed anxious by Wu Yuanming, and when he saw Wu Yuanming's fist raised again, he hurriedly shouted with blood in his mouth: "Wu Yingxiong, stop quickly, I can consider pardoning you for your innocence!" ”

"I fuck your ancestors for eighteen generations, and you dare to pretend to be long live today?" Wu Yuanming was afraid that Cao Yin over there would take out Kangxi's gold medal, which would lead to irreparable things. After scolding Kangxi and giving him a few slaps, he quickly brought Kangxi to the front, grabbed Kangxi's big braid and pulled up his numb face to show the public, Wu Yuanming shouted: "The courtiers and people of the Great Qing Kingdom, look at it!" Look at what this little pockmark looks like? His face is full of potholes, and people who understand know that he is pockmarked, if they don't understand, they may think that he was just born when the midwife was not stable, and he fell face down to the ground, just smashed into the sand pit! Or his father's work is too detailed, and when his mother was pregnant with him, he did too much in bed, poking out the pockmarks in his mother's womb! Is such a person worthy of being the emperor of our Qing Dynasty? ”

"Haha, hehe, quack." There was a burst of suppressed laughter in the crowd, although these people were afraid of causing a big disaster, but Wu Yuanming was really too vicious and mean, and many people couldn't help but laugh low. And Kangxi almost fainted in anger, gritted his teeth and roared: "The surname Wu, you remember it for me, if you dare to scold my father and mother, I must ...... you,"

"Smack!" Before Kangxi's words were finished, Wu Yuanming's slap had already been rewarded in his face, Wu Yuanming looked extremely annoyed, pinched Kangxi's neck and roared: "Little thief, if you dare to pretend to be the current Long Live Kangxi Ye again, the Lord will want your life!" ”

Wu ...... Ying Xiong, I'm ...... It's really Kangxi......! "Wu Yuanming and Wu Yingxiong have never learned martial arts, so although Wu Yuanming grabbed Kangxi's neck, because of his lack of strength, Kangxi could still struggle and barely say something. Wu Yuanming secretly strengthened his hands and roared angrily: "Little thief, you said that you are the current Long Live Master, that's good!" Let me ask you, since the imperial court's edict and the compilation of the Qing history of the Hanlin Academy are clearly recorded, long live Kangxi Ye today was born handsome, and Yue Li Shenghong (Note 1)! The heavens are full, and the earth must be round! The appearance is dignified, and the body is beautiful! Why are you born with a pockmarked face, thief eyebrows, and roe head rat eyes? ”

"It was written by civil and military officials!" Kangxi's words almost blurted out, but fortunately, Wu Yuanming's hand choked his throat, and Kangxi couldn't tell the truth. At this time, Kangxi found that Wu Yuanming's strength in his hands was a little slack, and he hurriedly struggled and said: "Wu Yingxiong, you are also a person who reads poetry and books, this day is handsome, dignified, and there are many explanations. ”

"There are many explanations for the handsomeness and magnificence of the sky?" Wu Yuanming sneered and glanced at Cao Yin, seeing that he was still being held down by the three brothers of the Wu family, and was struggling to get Kangxi's token, Wu Yuanming hurriedly ordered: "Wu Xi, press the accomplice who pretended to be the emperor tightly, don't let him run away, and he will be escorted to the criminal department to behead him in a while!" Wu Xi was the most impulsive of the three brothers of the Wu family, but also listened to Wu Yuanming's words the most, and immediately clasped Cao Yin's arms from behind, so that Cao Yin never had a chance to take out the token. However, Wu Yuanming's little trick can also conceal Wu Xi, for Kangxi, who grew up in the palace since he was a child, he immediately understood Wu Yuanming's intentions - not to recognize Kangxi's identity to the death, and to prevaricate the past with the innocence of those who don't know! After understanding this, Kangxi's hatred for Wu Yuanming inevitably increased.

"You say that the sky is handsome, there is another explanation?" Wu Yuan asked viciously: "Okay, let me ask you, does this celestial watch refer to the appearance of the Son of Heaven?" Asked this, Wu Yuanming quietly let go of his hand, so that Kangxi could breathe and speak, Kangxi really nodded and said: "Yes, the heavenly table is my special word." However...... "Kangxi originally wanted to say a few more words, but Wu Yuanming worked harder, and Kangxi never had a chance to say the rest of his words."

"The word handsome refers to a handsome and graceful man?" Wu Yuanming shook his head and said with spittle: "The men in the world, headed by the Son of Heaven, the handsomeness of the Son of Heaven will definitely crown the world!" Yushu Linfeng, young and golden, brave and mighty, chivalrous and extraordinary, righteous and thin clouds, immortal blessing and eternal enjoyment, longevity and Tianqi, affectionate and righteous, courageous and colorful, personable, noble temperament, appearance Sai Pan'an, outwitting Kong Ming, Yongbi Zilong, Yichao Guan Yu, Qiaoyue Luban, supreme and holy, supreme, talented and high, proud of all beings, uninhibited, loved by everyone, crazy for women, jealous of men! Urgent as the wind, quiet as a forest, sweeping as a fire, immobile as a mountain, a pear blossom pressing a begonia, the omnipotent jade-faced little flying dragon in the sky and the earth, the embodiment of handsomeness and wisdom, the combination of chivalry and benevolence! These words, in the whole world, only today's long live Kangxi can afford it! This is the handsomeness of the Son of Heaven! The sky is handsome! This is what it looks like to reign over the world! ”

"Ahem, ahem." Recited the boastful words he had seen in the 21st century in one breath, and he was in a hurry, Wu Yuanming couldn't get up in one breath, and he almost didn't cough to death. And Kangxi was dumbfounded when he heard it, and said in his heart that there is still such shameless praise in the world, compared with these words, the usual sycophants of the six parts of Jiuqing are simply trivial! At this time, Wu Yuanming finally breathed a sigh of relief, and asked vigorously: "Little thief, the Tianbiao reinforcements recorded in the annals of the Qing Dynasty, that is, Kangxi's Tianbiao is handsome, but what do I mean?" ”

"Yes, but not so exaggerated." Kangxi already understood that Wu Yuanming was using the words of death, and wanted to use the depiction of his appearance written in the history of the Qing Dynasty to deny his identity as the emperor in order to escape the charge. But what made Kangxi embarrassed was that if he didn't admit Wu Yuanming's words, it would be tantamount to denying in person in front of the public that the Qing historical records controlled by the imperial court were fake, and it was all nonsense - although this was the truth. But Kangxi still couldn't say such a truth, so he could only vaguely agree.

"Well, now that you have admitted that Banzai is the handsomeness of the sky! Then you look so ugly, why do you still come out and pretend to be long live today? Isn't this a smear on the face of the Long Live Lord? Wu Yuanming saw that Kangxi had taken the bait, so he kicked Kangxi into the trap, grabbed Kangxi's braid and pulled Kangxi's numb face higher, and seemed to be very bitter and persuaded him: "Tell me about yourself, it's not a sin for people to look hateful, it's your sin to come out to scare people, not to mention that you pretend to be today's son, it's a capital crime on top of a crime!" ”

"I am really the current Emperor Kangxi!" What Kangxi regrets most at the moment is that he only brought Cao Yin out of the street today, causing him to suffer a great humiliation on the street but no one rescued him, and tried to justify: "Wu Yingxiong, I am indeed today, but you and I have never met, so you don't know me." At the same time, Kangxi secretly called unlucky, although there were two imperial chefs from the palace and eunuch Xiao Maozi around him, but these two low-level slaves had never seen him, so they couldn't stand up to testify to him.

"Fuck your shit!" Wu Yuanming jumped three feet high, with the face of a loyal minister and a filial son who was loyal to the country, grabbed Kangxi and slapped him twice, and roared: "You little pockmark doesn't pee on yourself, your appearance is also worthy of the handsome comment of the sky?" Wu Yuanming turned Kangxi's face towards the onlookers again, and shouted: "Ladies and gentlemen in Beijing, you live at the foot of the Son of Heaven, have you ever heard of the dragon face majesty of today's Long Live Lord?" Tell me, does this little pockmark look like long live today? ”

The onlookers were silent, and no one wanted to wade into this muddy water, but Wu Yuanming didn't want to let them go, and pointed at a few people and shouted: "You don't speak, do you mean that you look ugly today?" Is it an ugly little pockmark? The people were startled, and hurriedly waved their hands and said, "No, no, the villain dares to say long live the ugly!" One of the people still had the courage to say: "Since he is a long live lord, he must be handsome and extraordinary, how can the emperor be ugly?" ”

"That's right, how can the emperor be ugly? Saying that the emperor is ugly, isn't that a bully? Wu Yuanming waved an arm, as if he was very loyal and courageous: "Whoever dares to say that he is ugly today, he is guilty of the capital crime of raiding his family and destroying his family!" Whoever dares to say that the current long live is ugly is to deny the historical records of our Great Qing Kingdom, and to be complicit in rebellion! Destroy the Nine Clans! ”

Wu Yuanming's roar was very loud, and it spread far in this bazaar, making the already almost silent crowd even quieter, and the onlookers were all silent, and the more timid ones had already spread their legs. Wu Yuanming took the opportunity to point at the palace chef Yu Su and roared: "Yu Kun, you are the cook in the palace, you tell this prince, long live the emperor of our Great Qing Kingdom, is he ugly or not?" ”

"It's not ugly, of course our Long Live Lord of the Great Qing Kingdom is not ugly!" That Yu Kun, the great emperor who dared to attack the Great Qing Dynasty in public, continued to eat for the sake of the eight and a half catties on his neck, and Yu Kun, who had never seen Kangxi, shook his head like a rattle, "Servants often hear people in the palace say that today's long live dragon and phoenix posture, God is endowed with wisdom, how can it be ugly?" ”

"Xiao Mazi, do you hear that?" Wu Yuanming finally loosened Kangxi's braids, and asked Kangxi with a cruel smile and a pun: "Everyone, including our historians of the Great Qing Kingdom, say that today's Long Live Heavenly Appearance is handsome, do you say this, do you still have the cheekiness to pretend to be the emperor of our Great Qing Kingdom?" If you are interested, admit your mistakes and let you go, otherwise this son will send you to the Yamen of the Criminal Department of Shuntian Mansion and treat you for the crime of deceiving the world and stealing your name! ”

"You ——!" Kangxi, who was freed, was so angry that he couldn't wait to break Wu Yuanming's body into pieces! But Kangxi, who knows the way of the emperor, knows that he can't settle accounts with Wu Yuanming now, because of the sycophants of the historians in the court and the instructions of Kangxi himself, the comments describing Kangxi's appearance have long been recorded in the history of the Qing court. Where is the credibility? And what's even worse is that at this moment it is in the middle of the city, there are not 10,000 but 8,000 onlookers, plus there is a Wu Sangui behind Wu Yuanming to support his waist, even if Kangxi proves his identity with a gold medal order arrow at this moment, then Wu Yuanming only needs to insist that he is misled by the court classics, plus the existence of Wu Sangui and Aobai, Kangxi really doesn't dare to kill Wu Yuanming immediately! Even if Wu Yuanming is killed, the reputation of Emperor Kangxi Mazi will be rendered by the people, but it will really be known to the government and the opposition, and the blow to Kangxi's own authority will be heavy. The current plan is only to take a step back temporarily, first save the face of the court and himself, and then slowly clean up Wu Yuanming......

After weighing the pros and cons for a long time, Kangxi finally stepped on the steps laid down by Wu Yuanming, and muttered in his heart that the brave husband can bend and stretch the gentleman's revenge for ten years, and other warning words, gritted his teeth and said: "Forgive me, I ...... I am indeed a fake. ”

"It's good to know it's wrong, go ahead." Wu Yuanming waved his hand aggressively, pouted and said, "Thinking about your first offense, this time this world will not pursue you." Don't thank this son, next time be smarter, don't pretend to be the emperor and go out on patrol, it's very embarrassing. ”

If you want to know what will happen next, please see the next chapter "Dad can also play hooligan"

Note 1: The comment of 'the sky is handsome, Yue Li Shenghong' is from the first year of the Holy Ancestor Benji in the History of the Qing Dynasty, and is non-fictional. The original text is as follows: Holy Ancestor Hetian Hongyun Wenwu Ruizhe Gong Frugal and Generous Filial Piety Integrity Merit Dachengren Emperor, Xuan Ye, the third son of the Ancestor. The mother of Xiaokangzhang Empress Tong Jiashi, was born in Jingren Palace in March of the 11th year of Shunzhi. The sky is handsome, and Yue Li's voice is loud.