The first time I saw him, he was whipping his horse and preparing to ride away.

And I, standing in the grass, watched his back gradually melt into the fire-like afterglow, like the clattering hooves of horses and the chirping of birds in March, slowly disappearing from my ears.

There was darkness and silence in my world again.

That year, I was nine years old.

I'll never forget that cholera.

My brother and I ran in from the entrance of the village, sweating profusely, holding a few live fish that we had caught after two days of guarding the mountain spring, and when we were full of joy that we could finally have a full meal, we were greeted by the deathly silence of the village.

There were several familiar figures lying motionless on the side of the muddy road.

The fish falls from the hand. The fishtail crackled on the ground, kicking up a faint cloud of dust.

My parents and my only sister died of cholera.

My younger brother hugged the corpses of his loved ones and looked at their pale faces and swollen bodies.

It wasn't until years later that I realized why we had been here for so long and we hadn't been infected.

My brother raised his head and asked me, "Sister, don't we have a father and mother?" ”

His tears fell silently.

I hugged him tightly. His hot tears fell onto my arm. Then we lay together on the cold, damp ground.

I told him, "My sister is here!" ”

Three days later, Mu Zixiao found us, and the day he brought me and my six-year-old brother out of the pile of dead people, we were already in shape.

I barely supported myself on my thin legs and sat down in front of his horse, looking at him with wide, eyes that had become abrupt from dehydration and hunger.

His face covered in white protective silk showed a pair of beautiful eyes, which were crooked. The silk cloth on his face moved, and he said, "Little girl, what is your name?" ”

"My name is Niu'er, and my brother's name is Dogan!" I replied loudly, trying to make my voice as powerful as his, and I did.

"Hahaha......" he smiled nicely, but it was also very inexplicable, "what is this name!" ”

My face is hot, and no one has ever laughed at my name in our Beijiagou, because there are more than a dozen girls in our village who are called Niu Niu, and more than 20 boys who are called Goudan. My mom and dad always called me that, and I never thought it wasn't my name. But now that he's smiling like that, I really don't think it's a name. I looked at my brother, who was asleep in front of me. He had been exhausted by fear and hunger for many days......

I don't know where I got the courage, I yelled in a louder voice than just now: "Who said Niu Niu and Dog Egg are not names? That's what Daddy calls us! That's what Aunt Liu and Uncle Guo call us! ”

I suddenly remembered how my father and mother and the whole village had died in cholera, and somehow I cried loudly, the first time I had cried since I saw my parents die.

For many days, exhaustion, hunger, fear, longing...... Coming at me together, I cried louder and louder, and the sound of forest birds being frightened into my ears was heard......

Seeing me crying, the tall body behind him seemed to be a little flustered, and hurriedly explained: "No, don't cry, okay, okay, obedient!" ”

I was so happy with revenge that I cried even louder.

Eventually, due to lack of energy, I stopped. Mu Zixiao let out a long breath.

At this time, the dog also woke up, and turned his head to look at me with big eyes. I took Mu Zixiao's big hand, wiped my nose with it, and comforted the dog with a smile.

Mu Zixiao was stunned for a moment, and quietly rubbed his arm against the horse.

At this time, it is March on earth. Trees sprout and rivers rise.

Mu Zixiao reined in his horse in front of a Zhuangzi. He dismounted us with his arms, and my bare forearm touched his fingers, and I remembered the cool, hard touch.

He told me that there are many children like us who have lost their homes in natural and man-made disasters in this village, there is food and water in it, and there are many learned gentlemen and attentive servants who will take care of us and raise us to adulthood.

He read to me the plaque on the gate: Fulan Garden.

I was puzzled. Because before, I always thought that he was going to take me home. Back to his home.

But he said he had a lot of things to do, and it would be dangerous for me to follow him. Later I learned that he was going to every place where cholera was going to settle the survivors. Beijiagou was just one of the villages he had visited, and I was one of all the boys and girls he had rescued.

"Mu Zixiao, will you remember me? Will you come to see me? ”

He removed the silk cloth from his face, and I saw his face in the setting sun, smiling brightly.

He squatted down: "You should call me Brother Mu." ”

"Mu Zixiao, you have to remember me! You have to recognize me! ”

He smiled again, and the glow of the setting sun was in his eyes. He shoved a piece of mellow and slippery ink jade into my palm: "Take it, I'll recognize you." ”

The door of Fulan Garden opened, and a kind old man walked out, and I heard him call Mu Zixiao "Director Mu".

Mu Zixiao returned the salute from afar and flew on the horse.

"Mu Zixiao, help me choose a name!" The moment he raised his whip, I shouted.

He pondered for a while, but did not put down the whip: "It's called 'Jinse'." ”

With that, he was gone.

And I stood in the tall grass that was still withered and yellow in March, but also full of life, and watched. I watched until the last trace of the sun disappeared in the sky.

"Jinse", I silently recited these two words, this is my new name, the name that Mu Zixiao chose for me. A strange feeling rose up in my heart, and in this way, I had a bond with him. It was only later, when I read Liu Yuxi's poems, that I realized that this name is full of so many sadness and helplessness that cannot be turned back......

Now, I'm seventeen years old.

Mu Zixiao, you still haven't come to see me.