To say that since Fang Zhongyong arrived in the Great Song Dynasty, there is nothing more painful than going to the toilet.

In ancient times, the toilet was mostly a grass hut built casually, and the common saying "thatched house" was also. Then dig a hole in the ground, and if you are a little more particular, you can make a broken tank and put two planks. Even if it is a rich and noble family, it is just a "thatched house" built more exquisitely. Even in the 70s and 80s of the 20 th century, the vast rural areas were more or less like this, and there was not much improvement.

The inconveniences brought by such a rudimentary toilet are varied.

First, because most latrines are doorless, individual yi

SI is out of the question. There are even strange occasions where two cylinders are juxtaposed, and men and women go to the toilet at the same time (the author has seen it himself, not made up). Can you imagine how embarrassing it is when you get on the trumpet? What's even more embarrassing is that when you get on the tuba, the water in the tank will be full, and you can hear the pop and pop sound from time to time, plus the "cute", unknown color, and unknown substance liquid that is stained on the ass from time to time (vomit, let me vomit, first).

Second, sanitation is extremely poor. Open defecation was not a thing at all in the eyes of the ancients, and there would never be any artifacts such as flushing equipment and "toilet cleaners". Therefore, the toilet in ancient times must be: the spring is stinky, and the white cute little insects are wriggling; In summer, the stench is even more smoky, and the white cute little bugs are rolling; Autumn is stinky, and cute little white bugs are wriggling; In winter, it is hard not to stink, and the cute white insects have also "feathered into butterflies", but the cold wind mixed with rain and snow hits, do you have the urge to sing "cold ice rain"?

Third, the security is relatively poor. Because the main load-bearing object is two wooden planks, the load-bearing capacity is not strong, and there are no handrails next to it. If you don't have an unstable footing or a broken plank, you risk falling into a manure pit. "Zuo Biography" once recorded such a story: The dream of the Marquis of Jin is great...... Gongjue, summoning Sangtian Wu. Witch words are like dreams. Gong said: "How so? He said, "Don't eat new." ”。 On the afternoon of June, the Marquis of Jin wanted wheat, so that the people of Dian offered wheat and gave it to others. Summoning the Sangtian Witch and killing him. Will eat, rise, go to the toilet, sink and die. In this way, the dignified Jin Jinggong set a Guinness record in the royal world, becoming the first and only king to fall into the toilet and drown. Coincidentally, the "Historical Records" also records the story of Yu Rang's assassination of Zhao Xiangzi in the toilet.

What does this mean? It shows that in ancient times, you had to risk your life when you went to the toilet. Fang Zhongyong definitely didn't want to be the second of Jin Jinggong, and he didn't want to be slaughtered in the toilet.

It is imperative to change the toilet.

In fact, it seems lofty to say, but it is also very simple to do. Presumably, some archaeology enthusiasts know the structure of the "A" shaped tomb, and the transformation of the aqua toilet is roughly the same. A large pit was dug in the back to store excrement and covered with wooden planks to prevent humans and animals from falling into it. Dig a slope about half a foot wide in front of you, and you don't need to say what you're going to do! In order to prevent collapse, Fang Zhongyong was very extravagant: it was built with green bricks and glued with white ash. He also creatively dug a pit behind the big pit, and connected it with a large bamboo with stripped off the bamboo knots between the two pits for precipitation. A good "A" shape was changed by him to the "skewer" shape of mutton skewers. Build another wood-paneled room, install the door, and a brand-new, luxurious, star-rated toilet is complete. Excluding labor, it cost a total of 200 yuan.

Father Fang was very disapproving of Zhongyong's extravagance and waste at first. Even after being persuaded by his son's "scholars should pay more attention", he was very unimpressed. But since I went in and experienced it, I felt that I had become a particular person, and when I saw the villagers entering and exiting all kinds of latrines, I couldn't help but show a look of disdain. After the neighbors lined up to experience it, they also said that this toilet "wants".

If you change the toilet, will the toilet problem be solved? Not really.

If you are a knowledgeable person, have you ever heard of something with a long history that everyone can't live without but don't want to mention - toilet chips. Before toilet paper was invented and became popular, it was so intimate with everyone. If you don't see each other for a day, you will miss it very much; I didn't see him for three days, and the abdominal pain was unbearable; If you haven't seen you for three years, you must be dead and can't die again. Its specific shape is unknown, and it should be a rectangular sheet; The material is mostly bamboo, the standard version focuses on practicality, and the luxury version can also be inlaid with gold and jade; function, large size replaces toilet paper; Usage, please think for yourself; Contraindications, patients with hemorrhoids should use with caution.

As he was a novice who had just started the task, Fang Zhongyong's skills in using toilet chips were far from being proficient. Repeated usage errors lead to task failures. Can you imagine that blankness, that helplessness? So, he wants to make paper.

A magistrate said again: Are you crazy? Wasn't papermaking improved (not invented) by Cai Lun of the Eastern Han Dynasty? The Tang and Song dynasties have long been finalized and popularized, and you still need to invent it?

Don't get excited, what Fang Zhongyong wants to make is toilet paper, that is, hand paper. I am afraid that the appearance of hand paper is many years later than the paper used for writing. In the Yuan Dynasty, Yuan Yuzong's wife kneaded the toilet paper for her mother-in-law and then offered it, which was written as an example of filial piety. This historical fact shows at least two points: first, the use of special toilet paper was not necessarily widespread in the Yuan Dynasty; Second, the quality of toilet paper is worrying, and it should be relatively hard. It can be seen that the promotion of this thing should still be difficult.

But Fang Zhongyong was never afraid. He didn't think about creating the white, non-toxic things of the later generations. As long as the price is cheap - this is the first important thing, it won't break when you use it. As for what kind of color, it doesn't matter if it's slightly toxic to the skin. It's a big deal, just improve it slowly in the future.

Sitting on his words and deeds, Fang Zhongyong went to apply for funding with his father. There's no way, even the New Year's money was deceived by adults and said that it was a child who "kept it for you".

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Yes! Fang's father was also helpless about this son who could toss, so he launched a series of killings: "Do you know how to make paper?" Do you know how much it costs to build a paper workshop? Do you know what raw materials are used in papermaking? You know ......."

Fang Zhongyong completed the counter-killing with only one sentence: "Is my father's hemorrhoids better?" ”

Of course, he actually considered all the issues that his father said. The papermaking workshop will not consider it for now, and wait until the experiment is successful. As for the raw materials, straw and bamboo are everywhere, and it hardly costs a few pennies. What really takes effort is pulping, and it is not difficult to take a few steps such as steaming, scooping paper, and drying.

If there is no crusher, you must first cut the straw and bamboo branches into small pieces with a guillotine, and then put them into a stone pestle and mash them little by little until they are muddy. Seeing her eleven-year-old son struggling to hold a stone pestle that was not much smaller than her own head, Fang's mother, who had a very low sense of existence, couldn't stand it anymore. rolled up his sleeves to help his son work, and did not forget to scold a few words of "no conscience" in a low voice. Fang's father sighed that "a loving mother has many defeated children", and took over when Fang's mother was not strong. The amount is not much, a total of dozens of catties of raw materials, and it will be completed in two days.

The most laborious work is completed, and the next steps are like the later rural sweet potato flour skin (interested friends can learn about it), add some starch paste as a sizing agent. About 300 thick sheets of Fang's toilet paper were freshly baked.

Looking at the blood blisters on his hands and smelling the unpleasant smell on his body, Fang Zhong couldn't help but feel sad in his heart: Is it easy for me? People are all princes and generals, and no matter how bad they are, they also bring their own plug-ins. Poor me, I have to make my own paper. Who said that what you make yourself is particularly good? Except for children, nothing else is necessarily.

Take a closer look at your own child, uh no, hand paper. Look at the color, how brilliant it is, yellow and green; How refreshing it is for you to smell that smell again. (Talking nonsense is going to be struck by lightning, the author presses.) Try it, and it works pretty well — at least it's better than a toilet chip. Recommended for the family, dad will never have to worry about his hemorrhoids again.

As a result, it didn't take long for the new toilet and homemade toilet paper to be known to Fang's father as another example of his son being a prodigy. Fang Zhongyong is actually happy to see this, and even he is encouraging his father to preach it, intentionally or unintentionally. Not only to make his prodigy's reputation louder, but also to make the people around him live better. Maybe it won't make them all rich for the time being, but let them pay attention to hygiene and reduce the chance of getting sick, and it will not be in vain to come to this world.

Subsequently, the uncle who was the head of the village appeared: "Zhongyong, how much does it cost you to build a new-style thatched house?" Can the whole village afford it? ”

Fang Zhongyong said: "To build a toilet as big as my family, it only costs two hundred yuan." But the nephew felt that not every family had this spare money, and it was not necessary for each family to build one. We can build two larger toilets in the village for everyone to use. ”

The village chief was confused: "Why build two?" ”

"Uncle, you think, if there is a separate toilet for men and women, and there is no filth on the road, wouldn't it be more obvious that Uncle you are well educated?" Fang Zhongyong is not stingy with little sycophants.

However, the village chief is not so easy to fool: "Who pays for the money and food?" ”

Fang Zhongyong had already planned: "Or work, or 20 yuan per family, and my family will make up for the shortfall." ”

Uncle Lianzan: "Okay, you kid can do things brightly!" Then build two! Don't have a men's toilet or a women's toilet, it's inconvenient! Build one at each end of the village, make a few more squatting positions, and use wooden planks to separate men and women. Fang Zhong couldn't help but praise the uncle's generosity.

Zi once said, don't treat the village chief as a cadre. The uncle's prestige in the village is king-level, and at the sound of an order, the whole village jumped up, uh no, take action. In just two days, Fangjia Village was built with perhaps the first public toilet in the history of China. Looking at the somewhat dazed and senseless villagers, Fang Zhongyong smiled secretly: When you experience the changes brought about by the small toilet change, you will understand the significance of today's incident.

At the end of the project, Uncle held a small completion ceremony. He said "amiably": "This public ...... Public toilets are for everyone to use. In the future, whoever dares to scatter on the side of the road and ditch, don't say that I am not polite to you. Zhongyong said that if you want to cure poverty, you must first cure foolishness. What do you mean by stupidity? It's just pulling around like a brute. If we are human beings, we must have a human way of living. By the way, Zhong Yong's family donated four more water tanks, which is cheaper for you. When you go to the toilet, scoop up the water and flush it clean. My own guys are also washing everything. Alright, let's all go back! ”

The uncle walked a few steps, and suddenly turned around and said, "Zhongyong, what should I do if the pit is full?" ”