Su Huang Mi Cai four major scholars Mi Fu is two hundred and five, the story seems to be more.

Mi Fu because of the service of two hundred and five, people sent the nickname "Mi Brian"; In addition to being a little crazy, Mi Fu also has a fetish and cleanliness.

However, this nervous guy is an all-rounder, and he is good at everything, and he knows everything about words, calligraphy, painting, gold and stone, and he knows everything; And for the sake of these things he likes, he can do anything.

When Mi Fu was six years old, he read hundreds of poems every day, and he never forgot them.

Mi Fu's old lady is a senior obstetrics and gynecology doctor (this is the title of later generations), the Song Dynasty can only be said to be a midwife.

Mi Fu's wife is the midwife in the palace, specializing in serving the mother, concubines, even the emperor is probably her birth.

Isn't such a midwife very good? There is nothing to say about the cow fork.

Mi Fu has a relationship with the old lady who is afraid? Coupled with the young genius, Mi Fu was exceptionally promoted to a court official after becoming an adult.

Although he ate a public meal, Mi Fu's temper was too varied; No one dares to let him do anything, so Mi Fu has been a gangster all his life, running west; I haven't done anything serious.

Mi Fu is different from others, and he is not interested in being an official at all; Anyway, he doesn't want to work hard, and he has always been a fool of what he does.

When Mi Fu was a magistrate in Lianshui, Jiangsu, he was very close to Lingbi in Anhui; Lingbi produced Lingbi stone is a famous play stone, is Mi Fu like.

Mi Fu does not go to work seriously, collect Lingbi stone everywhere, and then hide in the studio all day long to enjoy; As soon as I entered the studio, I didn't come out for a day, and I didn't even go to the unit to check in and sign in.

Boss Yang Jie ran to Mi Fu and said, what do you mean kid; Don't want to do it, do you?

Mi Fu didn't answer, and took out a delicate Lingbi stone from his sleeve to show Yang Jie: How can you not like such a stone?

Yang Jie ignored him. Mi Fu took out another piece, Yang Jie ignored it. Mi Fu finally took out a piece of magic, or that sentence: how can you not like such a stone?

Yang Jie couldn't hold back anymore: Not only do you like it, but I like it too. Grab the stone, go out and get in the car and leave.

But not all bosses are as easy to fool as Yang Jie. Mi Fu was once in charge of Cao Yun, and his boss Zhang Li was very disrespectful to his cynicism; Thinking of it, he brought him to train him, which made Mi Fu very unhappy.

Soon the traitor Cai Jing became the prime minister, Mi Fu and Cai Jing have a very iron relationship; quietly sent someone to the capital to ask Cai Jing to transfer his position to the same level as Zhang Li, and Cai Jing did everything.

Mi Fu got the letter of appointment, and happily made a new business card overnight; In the early hours of the morning, he rushed into Zhang Li's office.

Zhang Li was taken aback and didn't understand what was going on. Mi Fu threw his new business card to Zhang Li, saying that we will be on an equal footing in the future.

Zhang Li came back to his senses and was so angry that he couldn't speak for a long time.

After Mi Fu left, Zhang Licai said to the people next to him: Mi Fu, this kid is full of problems, and he has a big attack here today.

Mi Fu has a serious cleanliness habit, never use others have used things in his life. He used to be a doctor of Taichang, in charge of the sacrificial affairs of the royal temple, and of course he didn't like the standard work clothes he wore during the sacrifice, so he washed them so hard that even the patterns on the work clothes were washed off by him. Because of this, Mi Fu was demoted.

Mi Fu always put water around him, he has to wash his hands at every turn, and his hands are very different from others. In the past, there was no running water, so you had to use a basin to get water for your hands.

Mi Fu disgusted with the basin is unhygienic, he invented tap water: he let people use a silver pot to pour water out, and he washed his hands with running water.

After washing, Mi Fu's two hands slapped each other, until the hands were dry and did not need to be wiped with a towel.

At that time, there was no microscope, Mi Fu can actually know that there are many bacteria on the towel, it is really born to be the Minister of Health.

The most unpopular thing is that Mi Fu picks his son-in-law and also according to his own cleanliness. Among the people who came to propose marriage, there was a Nanjing man named Duan Fu, and the word went to dust.

Mi Fu was happy at a glance: has been brushed, but also to go to the dust, is definitely an advanced individual in hygiene, this is really my son-in-law. So he married his daughter to this man.

Zhou has a good relationship with Mi Fu, knows Mi Fu's virtue, everything Mi Fu fancies, by him to take it.

One day Mi Fu said to Zhou Chong: I got an inkstone, the appearance is extraordinary, it is not like a thing in the world. Zhou Chong didn't take it seriously: You always boast that you are an appraisal master, but half of the things in your collection are fake, that is, you can talk big, do you dare to let me see this inkstone?

Mi Fu took it out of the box, Zhou Chong knew Mi Fu's cleanliness, so he hurriedly went to wash his hands, Mi Fu was very happy to see Zhou Chong so sensible.

As soon as the inkstone was brought over, Zhou Chong praised it lifelessly, and asked: I don't know how to use it? When he had finished speaking, he asked someone to bring water to grind the ink.

Before the water was taken, Zhou Chong couldn't wait, so he dipped the ink in saliva and began to grind. Mi Fu's face was ugly: your brother just loved to be clean, why is it so unparticular now? This inkstone is dirty, I can't use it, so I'll give it to you. Zhou thought it was a joke and wanted to return the inkstone to Mi Fu, but Mi Fu said that he didn't want anything.

Cleanliness is just one of Mi Fu's problems, he has to blame every opportunity.

There is a big stone in Anhui that is ugly in shape, Mi Fu passed by and saw it happily: this stone can afford to worship Lao Tzu.

Mi Fu deliberately put on an evening dress to worship this stone, and called it the big brother.

Mi Fu wrote a letter in the study, his friend looked through the crack in the window, and saw Mi Fu write to the end of the letter "goodbye" when he put down the pen, stood up and sorted out his clothes, and then really bowed twice.

Mi Fu has so many jokes, but he is not willing to be low-key at all. He didn't wear Song Dynasty clothes when he went out, but he got a Tang Dynasty coat and hat.

This effect, like wearing a robe and a horse coat to crowd the subway on Xidan Street in Beijing in later generations, immediately attracted a large number of onlookers.

Mi Fu is complacent, but more vivid. When others look at that posture, people who don't know each other also know that there is no second such strange thing in the entire Great Song Dynasty except for "Mi Dian".

Blame for it, Mi Fu's ability everyone can not be convinced. Needless to say, because of the good writing, the artist Emperor Song Huizong promoted Mi Fu to the central government as a director.

As for Mi Fu's talent, even Wang Anshi, Su Shi likes such a big deal.

Wang Anshi's fan is written with Mi Fu's verses, nothing to read often; Su Shi even said that he had been friends with Mi Fu for 20 years, and he hated that the time was short, and he was riveting enough to lift Mi Fu high.

After Mi Fu arrived at the emperor's side, the emperor often asked Mi Fu to write. Once Song Huizong asked Mi Fu to write four screens, a few days later, sent a eunuch to send him nine hundred taels of silver.

In the Song Dynasty, the meaning of nine hundred was equivalent to the current two hundred and five. Mi Fu is just a tricky temperament, not stupid at all, immediately said to the eunuch: understand the subordinate Mo Ru leader, I myself also have self-knowledge. The eunuch went back to tell Song Huizong, Song Huizong laughed, knowing that Mi Fu understood that he was teasing him.

Mi Fu bragged about the momentum is also very large. Song Huizong asked him to evaluate the contemporary calligraphers, those are Mi Fu's buddies, but Mi Fu does not give them face: Cai Jing does not know penmanship, Huang Tingjian is drawing, Su Shi is painting.

Song Huizong asked: What about you? Mi Fu said roundabout: I am brushing words. In fact, it is boasting freely. Not to mention contemporary celebrities, that is, Ouyang Xun, Liu Gongquan, Yan Zhenqing, and Mi Fu said that it was vulgar.

When Su Shi was in Yangzhou, he invited a group of celebrities to dinner, and Mi Fu was also present. Halfway through the wine, Mi Fu was a little high, and stood up and said Su Shi was drunk: "Others say I'm crazy, your brother talk about it." ”

Su Shi laughed: "The cry of the masses is the cry of God." ”

Mi Fu is not afraid of affecting the image, so a lot of others can not do things, he said to do it, not at all.

Song Huizong asked Mi Fu to write, let him use his own special stationery, Mi Fu while writing on the Song Huizong inkstone.

After writing, Mi Fu hugged the inkstone and said: This inkstone has been used by me, how can I still let the leader use it, you change it.

When the emperor heard this, he laughed, this was obviously a bamboo bargain, and he was quite good at talking, so he gave him the inkstone.

Mi Fu was happy to dance, holding the inkstone and running out, the remaining ink in the inkstone was spilled on the clothes, but he didn't care at all. The emperor turned back to Cai Jing next to him and said: This guy is worthy of his name.

Cai Jing said a big truth: Mi Fu can not have such a master, but with the second can not stand it.

Cai You has a calligraphy of Wang Yan of the Eastern Jin Dynasty, but he didn't calculate, and he was so confused that he invited Mi Fu to look at this calligraphy on the boat. After Mi Fu saw it, he put the word in his arms to jump into the river. Cai You was scared enough: What are you doing here? Mi Fu cried and shouted: I have collected so many in my life, but there is no such copy, I would rather die. Cai You had no way at all, and finally had to give the copy to Mi Fu.

Mi Fu is good at forging other people's calligraphy and paintings, the level is so high that it can be real, and then use the forgery to steal the real one. Someone sold the Tang Dynasty painter Dai Song's cow picture, Mi Fu refused to buy, borrowed the painting to see a few days, and then copied a fake to return to others. After a few days, the man came back with a fake painting to ask him to return it really, Mi Fu did not feel embarrassed, but quite strange: I am not at home at the level of fraud? The man told him: You can see the shadow of the shepherd boy in the eyes of the original cow, but you didn't make this one.

Although Mi Fu ruined Su Shi's words, he was still willing to ask. Su Shi passed by, Mi Fu invited Su Shi to eat, Su Shi arrived, Mi Fu arranged a table for one person, put a good pen and ink and three hundred pieces of paper on it, and the dishes were placed aside. Su Shi understood at a glance that every time the two of them drank a drink, they would write a few words, so fast that the two scholars who were grinding ink couldn't catch up. In the evening, when the wine was drunk and all the paper was used up, the two men each took the words written by the other and opened the way.

Mi Fu's death is also very alternative. A month before his death, Mi Fu arranged the aftermath, said goodbye to relatives and friends, and burned all the calligraphy and painting instruments he liked, as if he knew that he was going to die. Mi Fu also prepared a coffin, diet and living in the coffin. Seven days before his death, Mi Fu took a bath and changed clothes, vegetarian incense. Others see him as pretentious, so they make trouble by his temperament. On the day of his death, Mi Fu invited all his relatives and friends, holding the dust and saying: "The fragrance of the country comes, the fragrance of the country goes." After saying that, he threw away the dust, closed his palms and died......