Maybe it was because he didn't drink enough wine, or because the love between husband and wife was not enjoyable, so when his wife snuggled him into a slight snoring and fell asleep, Shang Cheng still looked at the dark roof with his eyes wide open. He couldn't sleep. The heart is always frizzy. The personal experiences of the past ten months have passed through his mind like a movie.

Earlier he had worked in the market towns, busy in the fields, driving pack horses on the road, his flesh tattered under the weight of stones, blood flowing in the obscenity of the bandits, but at that time, no matter how much his body had endured great suffering and torment, his spirit was still stuck in the past, and he had been telling himself in the depths of his mind that everything in front of him was just a dream; Even though he told himself over and over again that everything around him was a real thing, a living world, in his subconscious, he still stubbornly insisted that this was an illusion that he had conceived in vain. Everything in front of him is illusory, this is his most basic understanding of this world. It is precisely because of this view and idea that he never thought of taking the initiative to do something, to take the initiative to strive for something, or to find any practical goal for himself.1 Since the material world is not real, since the material world only exists in the individual's mind, then all subjective actions in this world cannot bring substantive results except to make up for and satisfy the needs of the individual's spiritual world......

But as time passed, his perspective gradually changed, and he gradually realized that the world was as real and realistic as the world he had lived, and that she was also full of joy and pain, full of hope and suffering...... In the shock of facing reality, in awe of the unpredictable future prospects, after trying to escape reality and having nowhere to escape, he began to carefully observe the world, and then seriously thought about his way out. At the same time, he still deceived himself and told himself that this was all illusion and delusion......

This self-contradictory awareness and the resulting fierce struggle stayed with him for a long time. He is constantly oscillating between the unreal and the real. Perhaps at a certain moment, "reality" prevails, and he will soberly deal with everything related to him, so he becomes very assertive; But the next moment is the "unreal" that dominates his thoughts and actions, so he is inevitably obedient to the claims of others.

This contradictory behavior not only made him uncomfortable, but also made it difficult for those who came into contact with him to accept him, and at the same time, he missed a lot of opportunities. For example, when he came back from Beizheng, the big shopkeeper of Liu Ji Warehouse wanted to give him the job of "guard", but on the day I met him, his dispensable indifferent attitude made the big shopkeeper temporarily change his mind; Before he got married, Huo Liu looked for a vacancy in the yamen, asked someone to bring a letter to him, and asked him if he was willing, he said "yes", and there was no follow-up, he neither discussed with Huo Shiqi, who was recuperating at home, nor did he go to the county seat to find Huo Liu for advice, but Huo Liu watched his political opponent take the lead and grab the vacancy, and he was so angry that he didn't even come to eat at the banquet where he got married......

But this situation has changed almost dramatically after he got married.

The reason for this change is his sense of responsibility to his wife and family.

Lianniang is a good girl, and after getting married, she immediately became a good wife. She took care of him almost meticulously. Now when he goes out, he looks bright from head to toe. All his clothes and trousers were not as dirty as they had been; Even if the weather is cold and the water is freezing, she will wash the dirty clothes he changed out in time to dry. Whenever he saw his wife's ten fingers that were red and swollen like turnips, he would feel distressed for a long time. He does heavy physical work outside, and his food is at most full, so every time he comes home, his wife will carefully prepare a few good meals for him, and then she will be satisfied to watch him eat and drink, and she herself hardly eats those meat dishes with oil and water, even if it is soup, she first throws the oil flowers on the soup noodles into his bowl as much as possible......

has such a considerate wife, even if it is an illusory character, he admits it! What's more, this is still a person of flesh and blood and feelings......

He finally put aside all distractions and began to think seriously about the future of himself and his family.

Originally, he always thought that the world in front of him, which was far behind in all aspects, was a blank piece of paper, and with the knowledge and insight he had learned in books and life, he could splash ink on the blank paper like a master of Chinese painting, but when he seriously thought about the way out, he found that he was useless as a master of Chinese painting, and he didn't even have paper in front of him......

Before going to graduate school, he spent two years in a paper mill in Hohhot, Inner Mongolia, because of his work, he also knew the old process of papermaking in some workshops because of his work, and he also knew the old process of papermaking in some workshops, so the idea of starting a papermaking workshop was placed in front of him at the first time. But if you think about it carefully, this thing will not work—he has no money to buy land to set up a workshop, let alone invite workers to enter materials; And the old craftsmanship he knows is also uneven, and he has to toss and do experiments repeatedly, which has to throw a lot of money into it......

He wanted to rent a few acres of land, but he was not familiar with any of the crops in front of him, not even wheat and vegetables, which he knew of from the laboratory; Moreover, he did not have large livestock to cultivate the land, so even if he rented the land, sixty percent of the harvest would go to the landlord. The idea was immediately dismissed by him. He worked as a part-time worker in a small steel mill in his hometown for several winter and summer vacations, and he knew a little bit about the technology of smelting raw steel, so he turned his mind to this aspect. But the question is, where does he find that much energy power? Burning raw coal? Does he have the funds? Damming the Maiden River? Does he have the money to hire workers? Besides, is the flow of the girl river enough? Is the ore far away? He didn't even know the relative position of Yixian, the capital of Yanshan Weiduanzhou, in his previous world, so how could he subjectively guess that there could be a local steel workshop here?

One after another ideas that could change his fate were dug out of his mind, and one after another he denied himself.

It is possible to realize these ideas, but none of them can be realized immediately, and there are always difficulties of one kind or another waiting for him. First of all, he had no money, even if there were less than two copper coins in the cash cabinet, but he was still pulling fifteen or sixteen famine outside, and he could not kick his world out of his fist until these debts were paid off. The second problem is that he has no money. Whether it is steelmaking or farming, it needs a lot of money as a backing. Not to mention steelmaking, which itself is a capital-intensive and technology-intensive industry; Even if he farms, he can only do it before he has land - the current price of the fields around Huojiabao is from five to twelve acres of land, and when he scrapes together the money to buy an acre of land, he may have to wait until the year after tomorrow, and then when he has dozens of acres of land to realize his ideals and wishes, maybe his grandson can go up to the tree to dig out the bird's nest......

Come to think of it, only the path of sake brewing seems to be a little bright. He vaguely remembered the model of the equipment for purifying the high liquor, and also knew the process flow, if someone was willing to pay him to do the equipment and conduct experiments, he was confident that he could get the high liquor out. But no one wants to pay for it. He talked to Huo Shiqi about this idea, but Huo Shiqi thought about it with all his heart and couldn't listen to it at all. He also talked to Gao Xiaosan about it, but Gao Xiaosan was not interested in stepping into the alcohol kingdom, and the young steward of the warehouse was more concerned about the cotton cloth of the Mauritian country and the production process of this cotton cloth......

Now, all kinds of miscellaneous thoughts are rolling and crowded in his mind, but he can't always figure out a clue and can't grasp the point.

"Ugh......," he sighed. Money, money, where does he go to find money to implement his ideas?

Lianniang, who was pillowed on his arm, was awakened by his sigh, she looked at the still dark window with sleepy eyes, looked up at him and asked, "What's wrong with you?" Still not sleeping? ”

"Nothing." He struggled to squeeze a smile out of his face. Although he knew that his wife might not be able to see clearly in the dark. "I feel so bored that I can't sleep." He tucked the corners of the quilt that had been kicked open by his wife and said, "Sleep......

Lianniang put her arms around him, rested her head on his chest, was silent for a while, and asked, "Is it because you are worried about Kaichun and have nothing to do?" "At dinner just now, the man once euphemistically mentioned to Gao Xiaosan that he was looking for something to do in the spring; If there is a shortage of people in the warehouse, please say so.

“…… Even if it is. ”

"I went to my aunt's house today, and my uncle said that there are a lot of chores in the yamen after the beginning of spring, and many things have to be transported out of us, so you don't have to worry about having nothing to do."

Shang Cheng put his wife's bare arm around his neck back into the quilt and said, "Don't freeze." The yamen first had to hire people with their own mules, horses, and livestock, and even if we were hired, it would be a local livelihood, and we would not be able to find much wages. There are still so many debts at home that have not been paid. Although others don't say it, I always feel uncomfortable in my heart......"

"Then let's buy a pack horse, too."

Lian Niang's childish words made Shang Cheng laugh. Buying a pack horse? It's easy to say, but an ordinary pack horse is just a dozen or so, and a good twenty can't be bought, where is the money to buy it?

"I still have three times of money at home." Lianniang held her head high and said, "When I go home for the New Year, I'll ask my brother and sister-in-law to borrow some more, and then ask my mother to ask for more, and I can almost get together six or seven times......" Seeing that Shang Cheng wants to speak, cut him off first, "and then ask my aunt to borrow some too; You go and ask Uncle Zhu to see if he has any money he can't use for a while......"

"The family's three times of money can't be counted, and the usefulness of that money is for the seventeenth uncle." Shang Cheng said.

Lianniang gritted two rows of white teeth and smiled, and said, "You still don't want to mention this." The big girl is going to get married the day after tomorrow, are you sour? ”

Shang Cheng slapped his wife's buttocks: "I'm not sour, I'm afraid that someone will eat sour." After getting married, Lianniang called him everything he wanted, but he didn't like it very much. However, Lianniang is a smart woman, she knows her man's thoughts, and when she sees his appearance, she knows that he is a little annoyed, so she said: "I went to my aunt's house today to help, and I met the eldest girl...... " She deliberately stopped talking, waiting for the man's reaction.

"What about meeting her?"

Shang Cheng's bland attitude taught Lianniang to be very satisfied, and she stopped selling Guanzi, saying, "She asked me to bring something back to you." Do you know what it is? ”

"My purse." Shang Cheng said with his eyes closed.

"That's right! It's your purse. Lianniang was a little surprised. How do you know? ”

Shang Cheng didn't want to answer this stupid question.

"There's still something in the purse......"

"What's that?"

"I didn't watch it, I'm afraid you're going to annoy me. I'll get it for you, and I'll put it in the cabinet, and I'll forget it when I'm busy. Saying that, Lianniang lifted the quilt, ran naked to the side of the cabinet and touched it twice, and pinched the purse in her mouth, and ran back into the quilt with a cool breath. Shang Cheng hurriedly hugged her in his arms, let his hot body help her warm up, and said with some annoyance, "You are stupid! It's so cold, aren't you afraid of frostbite? ”

Lianniang snorted, stuffed the purse into his hand, and said, "Look, what is it?" ”

Shang Cheng put his purse on the kang, re-covered the bed, and said, "Sleep, it's not too late to see tomorrow." ”

"Look at it, look at what it's like."

"What do you think of the black light?"

"Maybe you'll know what it is when you smell it, it's always a hair handkerchief or something......

"You know everything, what else are you watching?"

"You don't know......"

"I want to know I'll watch."

"Then you can take a look."

“……”