You Heng, the word is flat, Qingzhou Plain like a person, few talented debaters, resolute and arrogant character, good insult to the powerful, relying on a sensational parrot Fu and many gorgeous rhetoric in the literary circles of the Three Kingdoms, he is only twenty-five years old He is already a famous man all over the world, except for Kang Peng, who never buys the scholars and poetry and songs, almost every prince wants to receive him under the account, in order to show his determination to seek talent, and finally Liu Bei, who has the best reputation among the scholars, took the lead and pulled You Heng to serve under the account.

Because of You Heng's romantic reputation, others are still on the way to Chang'an, Chang'an's scholars have been cheering, spontaneously organized to go to the Ten Mile Pavilion outside Chang'an City to meet You Heng, Kang Peng's political vase Xu Jing and Shi Sima Lang, and also asked Kang Peng to lead Dong Zhuojun's civil and military officials to meet You Heng, in order to show Kang Peng's attention to the Magi, even Kang Peng's father-in-law Cai Yong, who has been under house arrest for three years, has done everything possible to ask people to bring a letter to Kang Peng, hoping that Kang Peng can be merciful, so that Cai Yong can meet with You Heng to show admiration.

"Your Majesty, you are a well-known man in the world, and your reputation is extremely high." Jia Xu also advised Kang Peng: "The king can go to greet him in person according to the words of Mr. Wenxiu and Bo Daxian, which will definitely be of great benefit to the king to win the hearts of the scholars in the world." ”

"Alone." Kang Peng, who didn't want to be scolded, replied categorically, Kang Peng certainly understood Liu Bei's attempt to send You Heng to see him, and wanted You Heng's stinky mouth to anger him, so that he ordered the Jiangnan Army to take the initiative to attack Liu Beijun and fall into Liu Beijun's trap.

"If you want to go, Lone can go to meet any Confucian scholar, but with this You Heng, Lone will never meet him!" Kang Peng's attitude was resolute, and Jia Xu, Xu Jing and others saw that the advice was useless, so they had to take other civil and military officials out of the city and greet You Heng at the Shili Long Pavilion.

In the afternoon of the same day, Chang'an ten miles of long pavilion, colorful flags fluttering, gongs and drums shook the sky, the sound of silk and bamboo is endless, everywhere is the high-crowned green shirt, everywhere is the famous Confucian, or chanting or dancing, or singing or singing, really talking and laughing with Confucianism, there is no white ding, with the gradual implementation of the scholar protection law, Dong Zhuojun and the scholar hostile relationship has been greatly eased, the scholar gradually recovered, learned that there is the world's number one talent You Heng Youzi is coming to Chang'an, these scholars can't help the commotion of the heart, and want to hold a poetry and song meeting in Chang'an, In order to show the elegance and grace of Chang'an's talents, if it weren't for the time being too tight, I was afraid that the Confucian scholars outside Chang'an would also come here.

"Your guests are here, play music." With the singing of the ceremonial officials and the sound of the horn, there was an immediate commotion in the Confucian forest of Chang'an scholars, Jia Xu, Xu Jing, Sima Lang and Hua Xin four people took the lead, and the civil officials and the scholars and Confucian scholars each stood in their positions according to their official positions and the order of respect and inferiority, and sure enough, in the blink of an eye, the team of Liu Bei's envoys could already be seen in the distance, but when the civil officials of Chang'an and the scholars saw the appearance of the person who was the head, they couldn't help but stand on the spot.

In front of Dong Zhuojun's civilian officials and thousands of Confucian students in Chang'an, Liu Beijun's envoy group was the first to walk, wearing a coarse cloth shirt, his head was wrapped in a shabby linen towel, and he held an arm-thick wooden stick in his hand, knocking on the ground as he walked, knocking the road dusty, these are not counted, this person is also born to describe extremely strange, a big head is almost the size of a basin, but the body is pitifully thin, especially the big head on the hemp stalk-like neck, which makes everyone sweat for him, For fear that a gust of wind would blow and break his neck. Rao is Jia Xu had already heard Kang Peng's personal soldiers report on Youheng's appearance, but when he really saw Youheng's strange appearance, he couldn't help but be dumbfounded.

Despite the bustling crowd, there was still silence near the noisy ten-mile pavilion just now, only the dull and fluffy sound of the wooden stick in your hand hitting the ground, after a long time, the sound of the wooden stick suddenly stopped, only a night owl-like cry sounded in the crowd, and then when you looked closely, this cry actually came out of the mouth of Liu Beijun's envoy You Heng Youzi, crying to death, almost like the liver and intestines are broken, it is really sad for the listener, and the listener is crying.

"Mr. Zhengping, why is it so sad?" Xu Jing asked inexplicably.

"I cried to myself." You Heng snorted and tears with a handful of tears, pointed at Dong Zhuojun's civilian officials and Chang'an Rulin scholars present with a wooden stick, and choked up: "I think that you Heng is extremely talented, full of articles, but walking among the corpses of coffins, lonely souls and wild ghosts, full of filth and eyes, there is nowhere to live, how can you not cry?" Before You Heng's words fell, most of the people present turned pale, especially those scholars and Confucian scholars who pretended to be talented and talented, and they were even more furious when they heard You Heng compare them to filthy lonely ghosts and walking corpses, and many people were ready to scold back.

"Mr. Zhengping has too much heart." Xu Jing coughed to hide his embarrassment, and wanted to break the tense atmosphere but couldn't find the words, but Sima Lang hugged his fist at You Heng and said: "I waited for Mr. Jiumu to be famous, and I came to greet him, seeing that Mr. Jiumu had strange bones and a refined appearance, he was shocked and speechless, Mr. Zhengping must not take it to heart." ”

"Who are you?" You Heng tilted his head and asked Xu Jing and Sima Lang with squinting mung bean eyes.

"The cheap name is insulting and listening, under Xu Jing Xu Wenxiu, this is Sima Lang, the word Boda." Xu Jing forcibly suppressed the anger in his heart and politely introduced to You Heng.

"Those who slaughter animals and sell wine are also worthy to talk to me?" You Heng's face was full of disdain, and he opened his mouth to scold.

Rao is Xu Jing and Sima Lang are well-cultivated, and they are scolded by You Heng as a market vendor in front of so many people, and it is difficult to suppress the anger in their hearts, Sima Lang was about to scold back, and You Heng scolded again: "Drinker, get out of the way, I am here to see Dong Zhuo and Dong Zhongying, and I have no time to entangle with you and other bad people." Sima Lang and Xu Jing trembled with anger, but You Heng's mouth that could be stuffed into his fist had already spit out a series of foul language, "You and other walking corpses, dry bones in the grave, hangers, rice bags, wine barrels, meat bags, despicable and shameless people, help the villain, quickly get out of the way with me, let me go and scold the national thief Dong Zhuo." ”

If it weren't for the fact that there was a thick-skinned Hua Xin in the field, a Jia Xu who had always been moody, I was afraid that the first scandal of the Han Dynasty beating the messenger on the spot would happen today, Jia Xu and Hua Xin already knew that You Heng's mouth was powerful, so they simply turned a deaf ear to You Heng's insults, and just approached You Heng to Chang'an City according to Kang Peng's instructions, Rao is so, Jia Xu and Hua Xin were also scolded enough by You Heng, Jia Xu became a slave of Bai Zi Nianfu, and Hua Xin was a disloyal, unfilial piety, unrighteous and unrighteous ancestor forgetful of the door. Fortunately, Jia Xu and Hua Xin were both scheming, and they didn't pay attention to You Heng's scolding, but secretly wondered in their hearts, Liu Bei sent such a fanatic to be a messenger, obviously wanting to anger Kang Peng, so that Kang Peng ordered Dong Zhuojun's Jiangnan Corps to fight a decisive battle with Liu Beijun, and Kang Peng was unwilling to come to greet You Heng in person, obviously Kang Peng already knew Your Heng's virtues, so what did Kang Peng do when he saw You Heng? The left and right countries are fighting, why don't you kill You Heng with a knife in exchange for a quiet ear?

When they went out of the city, the elated civilian officials of Dong Zhuojun and the Confucian scholars of Chang'an, when they returned to the city, they were all full of anger and bullfighting, and they refused to leave You Heng's team, just wanting to see Dong Boss slaughtering You Heng with a knife, so as to vent his anger. But You Heng's actions after entering the city made them dumbfounded-You Heng actually took off his clothes while walking, and after entering the city, he didn't finish a street, You Heng no longer had a piece of cloth on his body, and walked naked on Chang'an Avenue with his head held high, ignoring the violent laughter of the men on the side of the road and the screams of the big girl and the little daughter-in-law, and the already large number of people in the team was even larger, almost to the point of crowding the streets and alleys.

"You are peaceful, why do you do such rude things in broad daylight?" This time, even Jia Xu couldn't help it, and in a fit of rage, Jia Xu sharply accused You Heng and said: "The blue sky and the white sun, Lang Lang Qiankun, don't you feel ashamed of doing this immoral thing?" ”

"It is rude to deceive the king." You Heng was not ashamed, but replied, "I show the form of my parents to show my innocence!" ”

"Thou art innocent, but what is filth?" Dong Zhuojun's last composure Hua Xin couldn't suppress the anger in his heart.

"Thou art filthy utensils." You Heng quickly replied: "I don't know loyalty and treachery, but my eyes are cloudy; If you don't read poetry and books, your mouth will be cloudy; If you don't accept advice, your ears will be cloudy; Joining the thief camp is a turbid body; Do not tolerate dissent, it is turbid; To recognize a thief as a father is to have a turbid heart! Jia Xu and Hua Xin heard that there was a voice outside Youheng's words, and their faces changed color, and they almost wanted to break Youheng's body into thousands of pieces immediately, in order to vent the hatred in their hearts.

From the city gate to King Kang's mansion, there were five or six thousand people in Chang'an who watched the excitement next to Youheng's team, the sun was shining on their heads, the crowd on the ground was surging, everyone had their own concerns, and they flocked to King Kang's mansion where Kang Peng was located, and a large number of people had already gathered in front of King Kang's mansion, and many people had already heard the news and rushed to see the great talent of the world who was running naked on the street - also fell into the arms of You Heng. Jia Xu was secretly worried that with Boss Dong's brutal temper, would he be able to endure You Heng's public insults, leading to a decisive battle between the Jiangnan Army and Liu Beijun?

When You Heng arrived in front of the palace, he saw that the gate of the palace was closed, and You Heng walked over with his bare buttocks swaggering, slammed the door with a wooden stick and scolded: "Dong Zhuo, old thief, open the door quickly, you Zhengping has come to give a war letter on the order of the king of Runan." You Heng's hands hurt, the gate of the palace still didn't move, You Heng was furious, and scolded again: "Dong Zhuo old thief, you don't have the guts, don't you even dare to see me You Zhengping?" ”

You Heng slammed the door and scolded, from Dong Boss's ancestors to more than a dozen wives of Dong Boss, their mouths were all scolded, but Kang Peng seemed to be afraid of You Heng, the gate of the palace never showed any signs of opening, You Heng was discouraged, he didn't feel that his mouth was dry, and he was about to add some saliva, but the door of the palace creaked open, You Heng was overjoyed, and he wanted to open his mouth to scold, but he suddenly froze - in front of You Heng's eyes, there was actually a person who was also naked, the same head was as big as a basin, and the same skinny as wood, You Heng flashed a thought, " Why is this old man so like me? ”

"Glass mirror!" Several high-ranking officials of Dong Zhuojun, who knew the goods, recognized the thing in front of You Heng that was carried by two Kang Peng's personal soldiers, which was a glass mirror made by Huang Yueying according to the method dictated by Kang Peng's busy schedule, about six feet long and three feet wide, and it was the first batch of extra-large glass mirrors made.

Two Kang Peng's personal soldiers slowly approached You Heng with a glass mirror, and they already knew that the person in the mirror was their You Heng retreated step by step, at a loss for a while, and suddenly there was a burst of warblers in King Kang's mansion, and a group of pretty young girls jumped out, and the first girl pointed to You Heng's lower body and screamed: "Sisters, come and see, it's so small." ”

"It's really small, it's the first time I've seen anything like this." Another girl shouted, her slender hand almost touching Youheng's work, causing Youheng to subconsciously flash back a few times.

"Perverted! Such a small thing, dare to take it out. A girl in her early twenties said disdainfully: "Just catch a man on the street, and he is older than him." ”

These girls are all transferred from the swallow group by Kang Peng, and they are really used to seeing these things, and their cheeks are much thicker than ordinary people, but there is a large glass mirror in front of you Heng to reflect his nakedness, and there is a group of young and beautiful and thick-skinned girls around him pointing at his lifeline, and despise his dignity as a man. But the group of swallow group girls didn't seem to want to let go of You Heng, and the girl at the head slapped her little hand, and actually took the lead in reading it, "Little You Heng, little things, little things, little XX." Little Youheng, shamelessly appeared in public, and when he saw someone revealing a big thing, little Youheng cried. Crying. ”

"Wha......." The onlookers of Chang'an all laughed forward and backwards, many of them rolled on the ground with laughter, and more people laughed with tears, and Dong Zhuojun's officials and Chang'an scholars, who had been insulted by You Heng just now, of course refused to let go of this opportunity to take revenge on You Heng, or pointed to You Heng and laughed, or followed the group of girls to read smoothly, "Little You Heng, little things, little things little XX." Little Youheng, shamelessly appeared in public, and when he saw someone revealing a big thing, little Youheng cried. Crying. ”

In the deafening "little thing" shout, You Heng's face was first red, then red, then white, and then green, at this time, a few people came out of the palace, each holding a portrait and painting tools, it seems that they are all painters of Chang'an, when everyone looks at the painting again, they see that the painting is the image of the naked You Heng being surrounded by all the girls and pointing at the image, especially the place where You Heng is exaggerated - naturally it is exaggerated small, seeing this scene, even the moody Jia Xu couldn't help but laugh, Not to mention others.

A painter shouted, "On the order of King Kang, you will draw a thousand pictures of You Heng naked in Chang'an, post them all over the country, and ask the world to evaluate them." Before the words fell, a burst of wild laughter broke out among the people of Chang'an, and almost everyone was shouting along the group of swallow group girls, "Little Youheng is crying, crying, crying......"

"Ahh Even if You Heng's face can be counted on his fingers in the Three Kingdoms era, he can't stand the ridicule of nearly 10,000 people pointing at his work, and suddenly screamed, You Heng covered his face and ran back and forth, but Chang'an Shilin and Confucian Sheng were willing to let go of the opportunity for revenge, and the people of Chang'an would not let go of this once-in-a-lifetime excitement, laughing and shouting together, "Little Youheng, little things, little things, little XX, little Youheng crying." "Chase after it, until You Heng escaped from Chang'an City and disappeared into the barren mountains and mountains.

"Playing hooligan with Lonely, You Heng is more tender." Kang Peng bragged to his unashamed opponents in the palace, and Kang Peng's subordinates all admired it and shouted together, "The king is wise and world-famous, although Confucius and Mencius can't reach it." ”

Kang Peng did not break his promise, and sure enough, he asked people to draw thousands of pictures of You Heng naked in Chang'an, and posted them in counties and counties all over the country, so that the people of the world could evaluate the size of You Heng, and You Heng has evaporated in the world since then, and no one knows about him. It doesn't matter if You Heng disappears, it's just that Liu Beijun, who can't quickly know the situation in Chang'an without a telegram, stupidly waited in the ambush for Dong Zhuojun's Jiangnan army to cross the river for a decisive battle, and when he was tired and killed three fast horses to send the information of Chang'an to Misu, Zhuge Liang knew that his strategy had failed, but Liu Beijun's already very valuable sustainable combat time had been wasted.