Before、Pull relationship and

"Go through the back door

"Often used in conjunction with each other, it is considered to be an ugly act of seeking a personal end by resorting to improper means. In reality, there are still many people who still see it this way, thinking that it is the selfish desire of some people to use their relationships with others (mostly with leaders) to achieve this goal in order to get promoted and get rich. People often oppose the relationship with a person's actual work ability, even if a person does not have real talent and learning, but as long as he can pull the relationship, he can still be promoted and make a fortune. With the development of the times, people's survival pressure is increasing, and the temptation to be promoted and get rich is getting bigger and bigger. Nowadays, there are very few people who have a real contempt for Latin American relations, and some of them also pay lip service to the extreme importance of Latin American relations. As you can see, if 10 years ago, success only required 30% of the relationship and 70% of the ability, now the relationship between the proportion of success, relationship and ability can be reversed, that is, 70% of the relationship plus 30% of the ability. Some people may think that this is unfair, and that the bad impact of this kind of behavior is no less than bribery, which destroys the fairness of society, but in private, I am afraid that they also suffer from the fact that they do not have a strong relationship to pull. In short, in the minds of many people today, the most important thing is not to maintain a certain character that cannot be eaten or spent as money, but whether it can be successful, so many people have consciously joined the team of pulling relationships.

"Go through the back door

The allusion is said to have come from the Northern Song Dynasty. Legend has it that after the death of Song Zhezong, Song Huizong succeeded to the throne with Cai Jing as the prime minister. Cai Jing's desperate efforts to belittle and ostracize the old officials, and stipulated that their children were not allowed to go out of the government and enter Beijing, and even their poems were not allowed to circulate, which caused strong dissatisfaction among the people. Once the imperial court held a banquet, and the artists performed such a scene during the banquet: a big official sat in the case and passed on various matters. There was a monk who asked to leave Beijing for a trip, because his precepts were in the period of Zhezong, that is, he was ordered to return to the world; A Taoist priest who lost his degree and asked for a reissue, because he was a monk during the reign of Zhezong, was immediately stripped of his Taoist robe and reinstated as a common man. Then one of the subordinate officers came forward and whispered:

"What should be done with the 1,000 yuan of money issued by the treasury today, all of which are old money?

The chief pondered for a moment and whispered:

"Then go through the back door and move in through the back door

“。 That's it

"Go through the back door

The origin of ". In addition, there is also a saying that the new book "Homeland" of the drunkard describes: the Great Sui Dynasty inherited the Han system, and the official yamen all sat in the north and faced south. If the position is high enough to bring family members to the office, the wives and children of officials are usually placed in the back house of the yamen. Ordinary official transactions, guests go through the front door, only close friends or their juniors enter through the back door. Hundreds of years later, the wind of greed prevailed,

"Go through the back door

Hence the word. These two allusions are very eloquent: first, for the benefit of an individual or a small group, as long as there is authority and a clever name, what cannot be done can be done; Second, as long as there is something hidden, first to make the high-ranking person or his family happy, what cannot be done, can also be done. So, what is a relationship? The original meaning of pulling is to force an object to move in the direction of oneself or with oneself, which is a process of causing the position of two people to change physically and then chemically through subjective initiative. There should be two levels of meaning here, one is to create something out of nothing, two people have no relationship in the first place, and through the connection, the two people become related, and then the relationship is closer, in short, to make new friends; The second is upgrading, bringing the original relationship closer and deeper, that is, maintaining and consolidating the relationship between old friends. Pulling a relationship is a technical word. Young people who have just entered the world may have no clue, but the old rivers and lakes know that the so-called relationship is to move around more, in fact, it is to treat and give gifts, sow first and then harvest, invest first and then seek returns. The first step is to make people accept you and gradually see you as a friend. First of all, you have to be able to speak. The mouth is as sweet as honey, and even if your face is full of wrinkles, you must keep your brightest smile. Although this is the way of people with a very low rank, it is also the most basic; If you go further, you have to do what you like, and you have to speak according to the personality and preferences of the other person. If you like compliments, you can pat yourself hard, and if you are obsessed with technology, you should speak professionally. There is only one purpose, which is to make people feel comfortable, to feel respected, and to feel that they have the opportunity to use their talents. Secondly, you have to bring some souvenirs. What is a souvenir? The most primitive smuggler is called a call

"Yes

“。 "Zuo Chuan: Twenty-four Years of Zhuang Gong" records:

"The male, the big jade silk, the small bird, and the chapter also; Female concubines, but hazelnut dates, to tell the piety

“。 In today's parlance, a gift is a gift. Since the beginning of the Zhou Dynasty, when visiting friends and guests, gifts must be brought, and they don't have to be too much, ordinary people are a bunch of dried meat in summer and a pheasant in winter; The doctor is a goose bird, and Qing is a lamb, depending on his rank. When the host has received a gift, when the guest is gone, he still gives it back, and the gift is symbolic, but the gift given by the subordinates to the king, and the lowly to the elders, do not have to be returned. It can be seen that the communication between China and foreign countries in ancient and modern times is inseparable from the content of gift-giving. The suppositories of human exchange are not expensive gifts and gifts, often highlight the traditional cultural values of the local area, pay attention to the ease of carrying, lightweight, with local characteristics, and can please relatives and friends; The letter is not expensive, but in the heart, a affection, a sincerity, a heart, on behalf of the blessing of relatives and friends, to express the concern for relatives and friends. But the letter when pulling the relationship plays more of a tentative function, depending on the other party's acceptance of you. If he takes your things, in general, things can be done; If you can't do it, he won't take anything from you. We'll talk about it later, so I won't expand on it here. Finally, you have to make sure that the other person understands the actual reward for doing you a favor. The knowledge in this is huge, and it can't be explained in a few words. This process is also very delicate, and if you don't master it well, it will fall short. Generally speaking, the other party will not want a specific return, but is afraid of a specific return, because the amount reaches a certain level, there is a suspicion of bribery, and it becomes the risk that the other party is facing violations of law and discipline. He will struggle for a long time for the greed and fear in his heart. At this time, what those who can pull relationships must do is to show that they are in the same boat with him, never half-hearted, and never let down or betray others. Let's take our work "Celadon Porcelain" as an example. Zhang Zhongping, the protagonist of the book, was not familiar with Judge Hou Changping at first, and when he saw a case falling into his hands, he racked his brains to pull the relationship between the two up. Carrying a box of health wine into the house is just a stepping stone, a kind of fire reconnaissance, and the effort is spent on Hou Changping himself, and I can't see how much creativity and cleverness he has. But when he found the calligraphy and painting works of Judge Hou's son posted in Hou's house, and knew that Hou Gongzi was learning calligraphy, his next performance was remarkable: first spent money to find the former chairman of the Provincial Calligraphers Association for Xiao Hou to be a teacher (this is something Hou Changping couldn't ask for), and then sent words and stickers to send rice paper (which gave Zhang Zhongping a reason to often go from house to house and get acquainted with the hostess), and finally let the students' studies appear in the elegant hall of the art auction, and he did not hesitate to shout on the stage in person. The secret operation allows it to be auctioned at a high price (not only greatly satisfies the vanity of adults and children, but also has a legitimate income), step by step, and it is really smooth. Hou Changping was originally a sober-minded and honest judge who abided by his duties, but he had a son in his old age, and he placed great hopes on his children, and he didn't want this to become his weakness, he wanted to resist, but in the end he was made an iron buddy by Zhang Zhongping. There are many masters of relationship pulling, and at the beginning, they did not target the object to be solved, but adopted a strategic curve to save the country, starting from the wife and children of the target object. This makes a lot of sense. First of all, the anti-corruption campaign is becoming more and more vigorous, the vigilance of the target is very high, and it is difficult to achieve results in a short period of time with a frontal attack. Secondly, spending effort on other people's families, utilitarian purposes must be concealed first, and playing the emotional card can have a silent effect. Once the target's family has a good impression of you, they will help you blow the wind, and when the wind blows too much, the target's ears will soften, and if you go to him again, there is a good chance that they will smile at you.