The school girl confessed to me, she stood in front of me shyly and asked me, "Would you like to be my boyfriend?" ”

I didn't speak, and silently took out a photo from my shirt pocket of a gentle and touching girl.

She glanced at it, and her eyes dimmed: "Is she your girlfriend, very beautiful, I can't compare to her!" With that, she ran away sadly.

Looking at her departing back, I didn't speak, put the picture back in my pocket, and lit the cigarette in my hand.

I thought to myself: "Damn, I don't want to be my girlfriend even if I don't have a tyrant woman's pretty?" ”

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Woman: "Do you have a room?" ”

Tyrant: "No! ”

Woman: "Do you have a car?" ”

Tyrant: "No! ”

Female (angry): "Then why do you have the face to propose to the old lady?" ”

Tyrant (with a calm face): "Although I don't have a house or a car, I wrote "Back to the Ming Dynasty as a Tyrant"! ”

Female (shocked): "Huh? The book "Back to the Ming Dynasty as a Tyrant", which can be concluded to be a god at a glance, was written by you? ”

Tyrant (nods): "Hmm! ”

Woman (begins to undress): "Shall we go get the certificate first?" Or do you want to talk about it first? ”

Tyrant (hurriedly U-turn): "First cave room, first cave room!" ”

When you're done......

Female (enchanting and infinitely hugging the tyrant): Can you take care of all the manuscript fees for me after you get married? I would be a good woman who was a housekeeper.

Tyrant (looking helpless): I want to too, but my manuscript fee is stuck with my wife.

Female (surprised): You have a wife, and you gave her all the manuscript fees?

Tyrant (with an innocent face): Uh-huh......

Female (a little disappointed): So what can you give me? Can you get me a new phone?

Tyrant (sat up and took his phone): I'll see if I can borrow some from the king of the mountains......

Female (slapped on the tyrant's third leg): Wrote such a hot book, and you are still poor like this bird, why don't you die?

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PS: I want to hack these two people to death.