After An Xiabai came out of the queen, he devoted himself to self-cultivation in the house he bought, and for him, there was nothing that made him happier than the tranquility at the moment.

She loves flowers very much, especially when they are in full bloom, and she feels like she is in a sea of flowers.

It's like the stars holding the moon, and it's like being in the middle of a flower language.

She planted a lot of flowers in her yard, and raised cacti from the soil of the frontier that the maid had found for him.

After Sheng Rujing got Lu Li's order, she came to the house that An Xia Bai bought to look for him. Although An Xiabai did not tell Sheng Rujing when he bought the house, Sheng Rujing sent someone to find An Xiabai's address after a check. After all, the name of the first son of the Son of Heaven is not in vain!

"Niangniang, why did you come out without saying a word, do you know how much Your Majesty is worried about you?"

Sheng Rujing didn't want to blame An Xiabai, but what she did this time was a little too willful.

"Sheng Rujing, I left a letter for the emperor. Besides, I don't want to stay in that lifeless palace. People always say irresponsible things to me, and I'm not happy to stay there! ”

An Xia pouted, she looked at Sheng Rujing, and the grievances in her eyes moved Sheng Rujing. But even if she was distressed about An Xiabai, Sheng Rujing had to stand firm, after all, the emperor sent her out this time to let her get An Xiabai back.

"I know you've been unhappy staying in the palace, otherwise you wouldn't have bought a house here. But even so, you can't come out without the emperor's permission! You don't know how anxious the emperor will be after you leave the palace. Although he didn't wash his face with tears all day, he was about the same. She has lost a lot of weight, and her face is so haggard that people can't recognize it. ”

Sheng Rujing was indeed a little exaggerated when she said these words, but Lu Li was indeed very annoyed because An Xiabai was not in the palace, and he hadn't eaten well for many days.

When An Xiabai heard Sheng Rujing say this, she was actually a little moved in her heart. But he never wanted to live such a dark day again, even if he felt sorry for the emperor, he felt that he couldn't wronged himself forever.

"Sheng Rujing, the emperor can't always consider his own feelings so selfishly, I am also a living person! He told me that he liked me very much and wanted to get along with me, and I believed that he said those words from the bottom of his heart. But I'm really unhappy to stay in the palace, I hope the emperor won't force me anymore, and I hope you won't force me. ”

An Xiabai gave him the flower plug in his hand, this was a pot of cactus, he asked Sheng Rujing to bring this pot of flowers back to the palace, handed it to Lu Li, and gave Sheng Rujing a letter casually.

"This letter contains my true feelings, you give it to the emperor, I believe he will understand me."

An Xiabai didn't stay too long, and let Sheng Rujing leave. She doesn't want to live the life of being pointed at in the past, and she doesn't want to have someone to talk to every day.

He was like an outsider in that palace, and he would never get everyone's true feelings. Although there are many people around him every day, and there are many people waiting for him, he still feels that he is alone, like a swallow in a flock, and he can never find his way home.

Sheng Rujing handed the letter written by An Xiabai to Lu Li, and put the pot of cactus on Lu Li's table and left. He didn't know what was written in An Xiabai's letter, but he could probably guess Lu Li's expression after reading the letter.

Lu Li opened An Xiabai's handwritten letter brought back by Sheng Rujing, and his brows were always tightly furrowed. She had an ominous premonition in her heart, he felt that An Xiabai would say something that he couldn't accept, and even felt that An Xiabai would re-examine the relationship between them.

Your Majesty, seeing the words as faces, An Xia has no face to see you again, just because I really can't accept the life in the palace.

The palace was like a big cage to me, with red bricks and green tiles covering the blue sky.

There are many people around me every day, and there are many people waiting for me, but I still feel like I am the only one left in the world.

I don't like to be followed by so many people all day long, and I don't like to be in the middle of the city, but I still don't have a harbor for my soul.

I want to be like a bird in the sky, I can do whatever I want, eat when I'm hungry, rest when I'm tired, and play for a while if I want to play.

I don't want to be held back by so many rules and etiquette, and I don't want to be constantly pointed at, let alone be at the center of the conversation.

I really hate that kind of state of being in dire straits. The feeling of being constantly pushed to the forefront is really hateful.

Your Majesty, you have been in the palace for so many years, and I think you may have long since adapted to such a life. But haven't you ever wondered why the birds in the sky can soar in the blue sky forever? Because they're happy, because they don't have to be in a cage.

Your favor has made me the center of everyone's conversation, and your favoritism has made me always pushed around by everyone, and I can't be myself.

Your Majesty, I want to find someone who likes me only and pampers me alone. I want to love someone, who will not look at other women in his life except me.

I can understand your hardship as the emperor, and I can also understand that you have so many women. But I can't understand why I'm looking for someone like you.

I'll admit, when you say you love me, I do feel like a fawn is running around in my heart. At that time, I was so happy that I couldn't breathe, like there were a lot of pink bubbles around me.

I'll admit that I've missed you many nights, and even sometimes I want to see the red bricks and green tiles.

But the feeling was only for a moment, like the wind gently blowing through the treetops, like raindrops quietly falling on the sea.

I can't always live in a cage with this feeling, because I'm a living person!

I longed for freedom, for a husband who loved me only. I want to have a happy life every day, and I want to be myself.

Your Majesty, you can do whatever you want, you can pamper any woman you want, but I can't.

This is an era of male superiority and inferiority, and everyone in the palace revolves around you.

I didn't want to be like that, so even though I knew you would be upset that I snuck out of the palace, I did it anyway.

I don't know what the rest of the days would have been like if I had been in the palace. I don't know how my life and my personality would have changed if I had been on the cusp.

The feeling of being talked about all day long is something you've never felt before. I'm sure you haven't had the feeling of walking in front of someone and being pointed at behind your back.

I'm scared to walk out the door, I'm scared to see other people. In fact, there are times when I am very afraid to see you. I don't know how to relate to people, and sometimes I don't even know how to deal with you.

I know my departure is selfish, and I know that my departure will put you in dire straits.

However, please forgive me for my selfishness, but please also forgive me for my helplessness.

No one wants to be a bird in a cage, and no one wants to share a husband with another woman.

Therefore, Your Majesty, please do not force me, and please respect my wishes.

Sheng Rujing told me about your sadness and helplessness, to be honest, I understand you very much and feel very sorry for you. But I don't want to push myself, so please don't force me.

Thank you, Your Majesty, for your kindness and for your trust. However, I don't want to go back, so please don't come back to me.

Ann Xia Bai, respectfully!

Lu Li's heart was like a knife when he read such a letter, he never knew that although he protected An Xiabai like that, she still had a lot of dissatisfaction and confusion in her heart.

He held the letter firmly in his hand, recalling An Xiabai's previous smile at her, and he suddenly felt that those smiles were so helpless.

She never thought that there were so many people trying to replace the queen, what did An Xiabai think in her heart. He had never thought that so many people would say that An Xiabai was a demon queen of the country, what did he think in his heart?

Lu Li suddenly laughed, and tears the size of soybeans fell.

He said that he loved An Xiabai, he wanted to give An Xiabai a stable life, and he wanted to protect An Xiabai for the rest of his life. But he didn't even notice An Xiabai's emotions, he was still a man.

Lu Li sat alone in the room for a long time and didn't go out, so he maintained the same movements as before, and he didn't even move.

Lu Li only felt that his head was blank, and at first he still had An Xiabai's figure in his mind, but later he felt trembling as long as he thought of An Xiabai's name.

He felt that he was the most incompetent emperor in the world, and even more so that he was the most incompetent husband in the world.

What would their children think if they knew that their mother was helpless and confused?

What would their children think if their children found out that their father had not even given their mother a sense of security?

He used to feel that he was conscientious and conscientious for the country and the people, and one day, the people of the world and his civil and military officials would understand his good intentions.

He used to feel that he used his own way to protect An Xiabai and the child, and one day, the woman he loved the most and his dearest baby would understand his way of protection.

But what I give you may not be what you want, just like you like to eat apples, but I gave you a cart of pears.

If he hadn't seen An Xiabai's letter, if An Xiabai's letter hadn't expressed so many of his true feelings, Lu Li might not have felt that his methods and methods were problematic, and he might not have felt that An Xiabai would have so many abnormal phenomena.

He will only tell others to make food for An Xiabai, and will only tell others to protect An Xiabai's safety, but he has never considered her from An Xiabai's point of view.