Chen Yan estimated that he had fallen into a deep sleep, he must have taken sleeping pills last night, and the effect of the medicine should have been at its maximum at this time, and the longing for the old man finally broke out at this time, and he subconsciously did not want to wake up.

Zhuang Sheng cleared the fog, and the more he walked, the louder and clearer he went, and the noisy sound of the street market gradually sounded in his ears, Chen Yan looked at him, like a lonely soul returning from hell, and seemed out of place with the people and environment around him, without a trace of fresh air.

Zhuang Sheng walked straight to a courtyard, which was his home. At this time, the courtyard was not as if it had been abandoned and uninhabited, the flowers and trees, although not lush but full of vitality, the courtyard was also clean and tidy, although there were no luxurious furnishings in the inner room, pen, ink, paper, inkstone, poetry and paintings, were also readily available. Zhuang Sheng stood for a moment, suddenly remembered something and rushed out, and when he ran to the intersection of the main street, he saw a group of students holding banners and small flags surrounding the opposite hospital gate, and a leader took the lead in shouting, and the crowd was angry. Since the May Fourth Movement, the student movement and the workers' movement have broken out on a large scale, and they are still endangering the rule of the Beiyang government, and yesterday they set off a workers' strike movement and a student movement organized by intellectuals and with the participation of students, and the Beiyang government sent warlords to brutally suppress them, and there were clashes in the process of resistance between the two sides, the warlords opened fire, and the workers and students suffered serious casualties, and the hospital was controlled by the Beiyang government and refused to accept the workers and students, thus causing the situation of the students besieging the hospital. Zhuang Sheng was like an invisible person, running to the ward without any obstacles, looking at his dying wife, who had not received effective treatment since he was secretly assassinated, he was almost desperate, and there were several people next to him, still arguing fiercely about something, ignoring the dying patient.

A young doctor pointed to the patient and said, "She has to be operated on immediately, it will be too late!" ”

"No! If she lives, you will die, and you will also affect the brothers and sisters in the hospital. The old dean frowned worriedly, it was not that he didn't want to save it, but to save everyone.

"The doctor is benevolent, she is not without help, do you want me to watch her die? Save her, and then find a way, Dean, this is a human life. ”

"What do you think a doctor is in this day and age? We are nothing more than tools, tools for healing those in power. The old dean pointed outside and said, "Listen, those people outside are people like her, and you are a rare good doctor, I don't want you to die, and I don't want to take more people's lives." ”

The young doctor looked at his peers around him, there were people of the same age, there were old people, and there were young nurses, their eyes were complicated, they were all looking at him, and he believed that for his decision, some of the people present would agree, because they were also doctors, but there were also people who disagreed, and as long as one person disagreed, he could not save her, because the lives of his colleagues were not his own.

"Save her!" Zhuang Sheng shouted hoarsely, "Save her!" ”

But no one here can see him, no one can hear him.

"Dr. Chen!" Zhuang Sheng shouted.

Chen Yan held down his restless body and said, "I'm here, what's wrong?" What happened in the dream? ”

"Chen Ji! You don't deserve to be a doctor! Zhuang Sheng shouted.

Hearing these two words, Chen Yan was suddenly numb.

"I've never been a good doctor again." Chen Ji said with tears in his eyes, turned around and walked out.

Chen Yan's heart is like a knife, Chen Ji, that is when he was young, eleven years ago, made such a decision that there is no right or wrong, but there is a fact, eleven years ago, he saw death and did not save him, and indirectly killed Zhuang Sheng's wife, and then changed his name to Chen Yan, went to Japan, gave up clinical medicine, and engaged in psychological research. Today, I met Zhuang Sheng again, he didn't believe in fatalism, and felt that the giant wheel of fate would eventually come, crushing all those who were unprepared.

After the death of his wife, Zhuang Sheng was in a trance, without desire and thought, and slowly walked forward, he met the Zen master again.

"You've gone back to the past, and you've gone through the pain again, but you've come to realize?" The Zen master asked.

Zhuang Sheng's face was like ashes, sitting under a tree, only his eyelashes fluttering perceptibly.

The Zen master sat down cross-legged and crossed one hand in front of Zhuang Sheng's eyes, and a picture appeared in front of Zhuang Sheng's eyes, saying, "You see, in this turbulent era, people are dying every day, good people are superborn, and bad people are reincarnated." ”

Zhuang Sheng sat speechless.

"You have nothing, so why should you care about gain or loss; If you have lost it, why worry about it? Man, who came with nothing, went with nothing after all, and you-still don't understand? ”

"You know what." Zhuang Sheng glanced at him contemptuously, got up and staggered forward, and kept walking......