I desperately struggled out of a hand, grabbed his swimming hand, and glared fiercely: "Chen Qian, your beloved Wan Zhaoyi must be guarding the empty room alone, crying secretly, you look for her!" "In a hurry, I had to move out of Wan Zhaoyi, hoping that he would be sober and give up.

Chen Qian pressed my left and right hands together with a wide and strong hand, and there was a crazy fire beating in his eyes, and he said angrily: "You don't mention her to me, it's useless!" ”

The tall and heavy body pressed me hard, my hands and feet struggled to move, but I couldn't move even half a point of hatred, helplessness, despair, shame, and resentment all rushed to my head, "Chen Qian, you bastard, what's the difference between you and robbers and bandits!" Mean, shameless, disgusting! ”

Chen Qian's wandering hand froze, but it was only for a moment, and the next moment his actions became even more crazy and impatient, and his eyes became darker and darker, "Anyway, I am already heinous in your heart, it is useless to scold you no matter how you scold, you are mine, I will not allow you to escape!" ”

As the body twisted, Chen Qian's gaze became crazy and hot, I could even feel the change in a certain part of his body, I was so frightened that I didn't dare to move anymore, the fear in my heart expanded infinitely, realizing what was about to happen, tears couldn't help but roll in my eyes.

Don't, don't! I can't think of this as being bitten by a mad dog. Who wants to have a relationship with a man they hate, what is the difference between this and violence!

"Get out of the way, don't touch me!"

Chen Qian lowered her head and blocked my lips, kissed eagerly, pinched my chin and forced me to open my mouth, and her tongue hooked mine, deeply entangled and encroached. One hand stripped each other of their clothes, and the other held my resistance tightly.

The last obstacle was removed, Chen Qian kissed my eyebrows heavily, my eyes, breathing unsteadily, his eyes were deep, and he was eager and pleading: "Qing'er, hand you over to me, I will be good to you, good to you for the rest of my life."

"Get out of here!" I struggled with fear and disgust.

My disgusted eyes stung him, Chen Qian's movements became cold and crazy, heavy kisses were densely burned on his body, like a nightmare, looking at the fierce flames in Chen Qian's eyes, I fell into the abyss of endless hell, more and more pain, everywhere hurt, physical, mental.

......

When I woke up in a daze, it was noon the next day, my whole body was sore, I struggled to get up and put on my clothes, looking at Chen Qian who was sleeping soundly on the couch, I grabbed a bead hairpin scattered between my temples, and slowly approached his throat, remembering everything that happened last night, hatred surged, my five fingers were tightly clenched, and I gritted my teeth to stab down......

No, no, in the second when I was about to get out of control, my sanity stopped me. If I kill him, then I will also be dead, and I will be guilty of killing the king, and I will not be able to live! Xiao Qingqiang, you must be calm, calm, don't get carried away by momentary anger and ruin your life. Losing your life for revenge is not worth it.

If you want to take revenge, there will be opportunities in the future, and it is not too late for a gentleman to take revenge.

I put away the hairpin, stared at the person on the couch, my heart became colder and colder, harder and harder, and hated more and more, and my palm was so cut that blood oozed out.

With despair and pain in my heart, I returned to the Yilan Palace, and the first thing I did when I came back was to ask Li Fei and Yunxi to prepare water for me to bathe.

A person is locked in the room, lying in the bathtub, holding a bath towel and rubbing his body fiercely. The white carcass was full of bruises, purple and purple traces of love, filled with the heavy smell of ambergris that the man in the Shiqian Hall had left on his body. I felt dirty, even more disgusting, desperately trying to rub off the marks and breath on my body, my skin was red from rubbing, and the stinging pain still couldn't wash away the humiliating marks.

I'm already dirty and I can't wash it anymore.

Anger, sadness, pain, and disgust swept over the body like a frenzy, and the waves were stormy. The grief and despair of the accumulation all exploded, beating the water in the bathtub wildly, venting the unwilling resentment and bitterness, the water droplets were shocked, the flowers were splashing, and the ink hair was drenched. After a fierce venting of hatred, I could no longer suppress the pain in my heart, and I fell into the bathtub and cried.

After soaking for two hours, the water was already cold, and I still stayed still, until Yunxi and Lifei came to urge me, I got up to wipe my clothes, and walked out of the bathroom indifferently.

Shi Qiandian sent some jewelry and jade over there, and I accepted it indifferently. As soon as the waiter who was waiting to deliver the things left, I immediately waved my sleeves and swept those jewels and jade to the ground. I lifted my foot and stepped on the bouncing beads with all my might, gritting my teeth and stepping on them, trampling them into pieces and powder.

"!" Yunxi and Lifei came over to stop me in shock, "This is something that Your Majesty has rewarded, and it can't be damaged." ”

With a "snap", I slapped Li Fei in the face and said sharply: "Get out, let me out!" ”

Never seen me lose my temper like this, Yunxi and Li Fei were frightened for a while, and I forced them back with sharp eyes. After that, I couldn't hold it anymore and collapsed to the ground.

If it weren't for her, how would I have fallen to this point? I had asked her about the defense of Yongxiang, and she was shrewd by nature, and perhaps sensed my intentions. On Chinese New Year's Eve, I deliberately opened the doorkeeper, perhaps she noticed something was wrong and reported my whereabouts. The attendant guarding the door of the Shiqian Hall told me that Li Fei had been to the Shiqian Hall that night. If someone hadn't told me in advance, how could Chen Qian stop me in such a timely manner?

The answer couldn't be more obvious, if it wasn't the secret she told Chen Qian, who else could it be?

From the very beginning, let me stay in the Yilan Palace, Chen Qian was not at ease, there must be someone else in the Yilan Hall to monitor my movements. Li Fei, he was the one he sent to spy on me early in the morning.

What's the use of being sad, it will only hurt one's own body; What is the use of anger, it only lowers one's own sanity.

Tears are the most weak and useless, I will not allow myself to become so useless, people are bitten by animals, self-harm and self-abuse are the most cowardly and stupid methods. I'm going to do whatever it takes, by all means, to kill that brute.

The next day, the Cixun Palace sent someone to spread the word, saying that it was summoned by the Queen Mother. The Queen Mother has always lived in a simple place, dedicated to worshipping the Buddha, and rarely asked about the affairs of the harem, why did she suddenly summon me over? I was puzzled, but I still accepted the order respectfully and followed him to the Cixun Palace.

The queen mother is not the emperor's mother, speaking of which is still his aunt, Chen Qian's biological mother died early, and she succeeded her uncle to the throne, so she named her uncle Zhang Yao'er as the queen mother, and respected the Cixun Palace.

Cixun Palace is simple and clean, without too much luxurious decoration, and the Queen Mother is also dressed simply, lying on the phoenix chair with a relaxed attitude and looking at me kneeling on the ground, and is not in a hurry to call me up.

The Queen Mother is more than 50 people, there is a mottled color between the temples, the face is thin and haggard, but a pair of eyes are extraordinarily clear, looking up and looking forward to it, a foot of wet waves swaying, and there is a penetrating crystal light in the leisure and elegance.

When I knelt so hard that my legs and feet were numb, I heard the Queen Mother say idly: "Hua Zhaorong, are you guilty?" ”

With a pang in my heart, it seems that someone can't help but run to the queen mother who ignores everything to sue me. I was not convinced, but I could only endure it, and said in a low voice: "The Queen Mother is lenient, the concubine is new to the palace, and many things are not very clear. ”

Regardless of whether there is a mistake or not, admit your mistake first and then say, if you have no power in this palace, you will have no right to speak.

Seeing that I had a good attitude of admitting my mistakes, the Queen Mother softened her gaze at me, and said lightly: "The mourning family didn't want to take care of the affairs of the harem, but now that the emperor has done such a ridiculous act for you, the mourning family has to take care of it." Yesterday, the emperor quit the dynasty and stayed with you in the palace, and the ministers complained about it. ”

I didn't speak, I hung my head down, like a well-trained kitten.

"The emperor is diligent, and since he ascended the throne, there has never been a late dynasty to boycott the dynasty. Since you entered the palace, you have been petted, and the harem has been grudging, causing many incidents, and the mourning family should only turn a blind eye. But now you are so pampered and arrogant, causing the emperor to abandon the government, not only the palace is restless, but even the court has also been affected, and the mourning family must no longer rely on your temperament. The Queen Mother's tone was calm, like gossip, but the sharp edge between the words made people's hearts chill for no reason.

"The concubine is guilty, and she also asks the queen mother to punish her, so as to be in the palace." I bowed my head and confessed my mistake.

I don't defend it, and it's useless to argue, and not only is it useless, but it will also lead to a more severe punishment. Obviously, it was her nephew who forced me to stay in the Shiqian Palace for his own selfish desires and abused me. In the eyes of others, it was I who charmed the lord and caused the king to abandon the government. This is the way this world is, everything is wrong with women, everything is blamed on women, and men are never wrong. I can't change the world, I have to adapt if I want to live.

"It's good if you can know your mistakes, and the mourning family also hopes that you can really change your mistakes." The Queen Mother glanced at me, and said slowly and firmly, "The matter is serious, and the mourning family has to be punished. Go and kneel outside the temple for a few hours, and reflect on it. ”

I don't know how many hours the Queen Mother said about kneeling, how many hours it was. I knelt in the corridor outside the hall, looking at the goose feathers and snow outside the corridor, the cold wind hunting, the cold air poured into the body from the neck, the cold shivered, kneeling for a long time, only felt that the cold air soaked the bone marrow, and the limbs and hundreds of bones were frozen.

After soaking in cold water for a long time yesterday, my head was already a little dizzy, and now I feel even more dizzy and weak when I kneel. I don't know how long it took, but I felt that my eyes turned white, and the sky swirled......

"Qing'er, Qing'er......" Someone picked me up in my sleep, who was calling me? I hated the sound, and tried to reach out and push the man away, but I couldn't exert any strength, so I could only tilt my head and fall asleep in my tossed arms.

I had a fever, I was burned in a daze, and I had a lot of dreams in the chaos, and the pieces were incomplete and chaotic. After a while, my mother cut her wrist, and the blood flowed all over the ground, which was so beautiful and crimson that the heavy smell of blood made people want to vomit; For a while, I was living on the streets, picking up the food that had been thrown away by others under the contemptuous and disgusting gaze of everyone, and biting it with tears in my eyes; One moment it was a bleak night of storm, thunder and lightning, and I shivered and hid in a dilapidated hut; For a while, it was the scene of those naughty boys chasing and beating me; After a while, Master took me by the hand and brought me home......

It's messy, it's messy, my brain hurts, and it looks like it's going to explode.

Exegesis:

(1) The title comes from Li Bai's "Journey to the North" in the Tang Dynasty, "Yan Feng Cracks Clothes"