Jue Hui finally finished the article, but he didn't sleep well all night. He woke up late on the morning of the first day of the new year, and his brother called him twice before he got out of bed, and by the time he and Juemin hurried to school, it was already more than ten minutes late.

The voice of Zhu Kongyang, a British teacher, resounded in the classroom, and he was reading a sentence from "Resurrection". Like the other students, Juehui listened attentively, ready to answer the instructor's questions at any time. Naturally, he couldn't put his heart completely on the book, he couldn't think of Mingfeng, and he couldn't make his heart not flutter when he thought of Mingfeng. But that doesn't mean he has to hold Ming Feng. No, in fact, after a night of thinking, he was ready to give up on the girl. The decision was painful for him, of course, but he felt that he could endure it and had a reason to endure it. There were two things behind his decision: the dedication of progressive-minded young people and the petty-bourgeois pride.

The day's homework was quickly over. On the way back, he was again besieged by contradictory thoughts. He didn't say a word, and his face was ugly. Juemin knew that he had something on his mind, so he didn't talk to him much.

They finally arrived at their home, walked into the second gate, and met the sedan chair of the Feng family picking up people coming out, escorted by two servants. A miserable cry came from the sedan chair, although it was subtle, but the cry entered Juehui's heart. He didn't tell what it was, he believed that the person had gone, gone forever.

The palanquin went with a cry, and there were maids, servants, and palanquin men in the patio. They got together and talked about it. Gao Zhong blushed and grunted and scolded the "old bastard". Wende was next to him and advised him not to talk nonsense. Jue Hui knew that they must be talking about Mingfeng, and he didn't even dare to look at them more, so he hurriedly walked inside.

As they entered, a melancholy voice greeted them, "Why did you come back so early today?" It was Chen Jianyun who was questioned, and his thin face still had the haggard color of illness. He was standing on the steps talking to Juexin, and when he saw them, he walked towards them. Juexin silently turned around and walked into the aisle and went back to his room.

"We've been like this a lot lately, with only one class in the afternoon, because there's a big exam coming up soon," Kyaw Min replied gently. He then asked, "Is your body restored now?" ”

"Thank you. I'm totally fine," Jian Yun replied with a reluctant smile, and followed Brother Juemin into the house. As soon as he entered the room, he sat down on a wicker chair and sighed.

"Jianyun, why are you always so unhappy?" Juemin asked. Jue Hui threw the book on the table, and then went to the bed and lay down, without saying a word to others.

"This life is so miserable!" Jian Yun shook his head painfully and said.

Juemin suddenly remembered what Jian Yun often said, "Maybe it's because of your weak body, or your parents died early", so he persuaded with a sympathetic tone: "Jian Yun, I advise you to be a little more open-minded, don't just think about those unhappy things." ”

"It's tragic, it's tragic!" Jian Yun didn't seem to hear Juemin's words, so he just continued, "I came to you by accident, I met her in the sedan chair, heard her cry, saw her struggling, and my tears flowed out. What a person is this? Why do people give her to this and that like a thing? ……”

"Did you talk about Mingfeng?" Juemin said movingly.

"Mingfeng?" Jian Yun glanced up at Juemin and said angrily, "I'm talking about Wan'er, the sedan chair just went out, didn't you meet it?" ”

"Wan'er? So Mingfeng is not married? Jue Hui immediately sat up from the bed and asked in surprise.

"Mingfeng......" Jian Yun said these two words and stopped, looked at Juehui with his blank eyes, and then whispered, "She...... She committed suicide by throwing herself into the lake. ”

"What? Ming Feng committed suicide? Jue Hui stood up in horror, grabbing his hair in despair, and he strode around the room.

They said so. Her body had been carried out. I didn't see it either. ……”

"Ah, I see. Mingfeng committed suicide, so Grandpa replaced it with Wan'er. In Grandpa's eyes, the girl is not a person, and he can send it as a gift. …… I can't see that Ming Feng is a fierce woman, she did such a thing! Juemin said half-angrily and half-regretfully.

"But then it's time for Wan'er to fall down," Jian Yun continued, "and seeing her struggling, no matter who she is, will shed tears." I think she might follow the path of Mingfeng......"

"I can't imagine that grandpa is so ruthless! One is dead, and the other is going to be sent out. Why do you want to destroy your good daughter like this? Juemin said angrily.

"Tell me, how Ming Feng committed suicide!" Juehui, who was gloomy and didn't speak at these times, suddenly walked up to Jian Yun, grabbed one of his arms and shook it frantically, and said the above words.

Jian Yun glanced at Juehui in astonishment, not understanding why Juehui was so excited, but he still replied in his sentimental tone: "I don't know, I'm afraid no one knows." It is said that Lao Zhao saw her corpse in the lake, and found someone to scoop her up, carry her out, and it was over. …… This life, this world...... It's tragic. ”

Jue Hui stared at Jian Yun's thin face with a sickly face. Suddenly, he rudely let go of Jian Yun's arm and ran out without a sound, leaving Jian Yun and Juemin in the house.

"What's the matter with Juehui?" Jian Yun asked Juemin quietly.

"I'm starting to understand now," Juemin nodded to himself.

"You get it, I don't!" Jian Yun buried his head as he spoke. He was always so careful, so humble.

"Can't you see that this is also a love word?" Juemin shouted angrily. No one answered his words. There was an awkward silence in the room, and the occasional sound of footsteps outside the window seemed to be stepping on people's hearts.

After some more time, Jian Yun slowly raised his head, looked around the room with his blank eyes, and muttered to himself, "I...... I see...... I see. ……”

Juemin stood up and strode around the room for a while, when he suddenly sat down on a chair next to the square table. He set his eyes on Jian Yun's face. The eyes of the two met. They expressed some gloomy thoughts in their eyes. Jian Yun buried his head again.

"It's all about love," Juemin said distressedly. "I understand the matter between the third brother and Mingfeng now. I was a little suspicious. …… I didn't think there would be such an ending now. I really can't imagine that Mingfeng's temperament is so fierce! …… It's a pity! If she had been born into a rich family...... "Juemin seemed to be unable to continue, and a look of struggle appeared on his face. After a few minutes, he said in an excited voice, "It's all that love word." …… The eldest brother has lost a lot of weight recently, and he is very melancholy these days. …… Isn't it also for love? …… Love, I think love should bring happiness to people, but why does it bring so much suffering? ......" His voice trembled, and at this time he thought about his own affairs, and he almost cried for his future. A shadow of the future loomed before his eyes. The life of his eldest brother is a "role model" for him.

Jian Yun didn't know the reason for Juemin's sorrow, thinking that it was only out of sympathy, and at the same time, his own heart was also caused by these words. The sorrow in his life is greater than anyone's, and he needs the sympathy of others more than anyone else's. For many times he was filled with sorrow, and could not find anyone to hear him. He always thought he was too small, too incompetent, and no one else. He lived a life of great humility, and he always treated people with an honest heart, yet he was despised and cold everywhere. Although he had occasionally received a little sympathy, it was only superficial, but he already felt that he had not been able to accept it. He, who had grown up in trampling, did not complain about life, and endured even calmly, or rather timidly, contempt and indifference. He had been in this situation for many years, and now he saw that Juemin had expressed such deep sympathy for the misfortunes of others, and he felt that he had found someone to whom he could talk, and the words that had been hidden in his heart for a long time became a force that began to push him. He plucked up the courage to try a few times, and finally spoke: "Juemin, I have something to say to you......" He paused again, glanced at Juemin, and met Juemin's gentle eyes before he continued: "After this serious illness, I don't know why, I always think of death. It's better to live like me than to die, but I'm a little afraid of death. You think, it's so lonely and pitiful to be alive, and I don't know how lonely and pitiful it will be when you're dead! No one came to cry for me and came to see me. Alone, always alone. How lonely. …… During this serious illness, you have come to see me several times with the kindness of your brothers. I will always remember these times, and how grateful I am to you! ……”

"What do you mention about these things?" Juemin was ashamed to hear this, and he wanted to divert the topic.

"I must say. Juemin, if I deserve your sympathy in this life, will you promise to come to my grave every spring and autumn to see me after I die? He said sadly.

"Jianyun, why do you only say such unpleasant things, don't you see that we have enough pain?" Although it was a reproach, the voice was unusually gentle.

Jian Yun rubbed his eyes with his hand, and then continued: "I must say, I must tell you about me." Now only you can listen to me. …… Because the eldest brother has the sorrow of the eldest brother, and Juehui also has the sorrow of Juehui, I can't add my sorrow to them anymore. …… I'm in love with someone. I knew it was love, and I knew she wouldn't love me. I knew that someone like me was not worthy of a woman like her. I used to say to myself, 'Don't dream, why do you love her?' Do people like you still deserve to be loved? Abandon your desperate love. But in fact I can't. I can't live without her. When I hear her name, I can't stop my heart from beating; When I saw her face, it was like I had been blessed. I often call her name secretly, and sometimes it comforts and inspires me. But sometimes the name causes me more pain, for as soon as I think of her more passionately, I want to run to her at once and confide my love to her. But I didn't have the courage. How dare I, a small and incompetent person, confide my love to her? …… I don't know why someone like me, who grew up trampling and being slighted, has an instinct for love. Why did I fall in love with her again? She is so noble that I don't even dare to say a word of love to her. …… How much pain this love, this desperate love brings me! …… Naturally, it's my own fault, and I can't blame her. She didn't know anything about it! …… I was tormented by this desperate love all day long. …… Every time I go to Wang's house, I always have to look at her window, sometimes when she is at home, I see the white curtains, how many fantasies it gives me, how many beautiful fantasies, I seem to see her every move in the room, I seem to be standing next to her. But this comfort was only temporary, for it was not long before I remembered my origins, and I fell back into the mud. …… When she was at home, I could hear her coughing, talking, what a nice sound! At that time, it took a lot of effort to be able to put my mind on the book and be able to explain it to my elementary school students. …… Sometimes she hasn't come home in the school, I can't hear her voice, and I feel lonely again. …… I had made my body so bad for her, but she didn't know it, and no one did. In fact, she just knew that she would only pity me at most, and that she would not love me. …… I understand that no woman will love me. I'm a humble person! There is so much light and so much love in the world, but none of them are for me, I am a person who has been abandoned by happiness. ......" he paused. Juemin didn't speak.

Jian Yun took out a handkerchief and wiped away his tears, swept his modest and melancholy eyes on Juemin's face, and then said slowly with a wry smile: "Juemin, you will laugh at me for being boring, I am too self-conscious." Sometimes I forget what kind of person I am. I sometimes resent, in despair, that my parents had brought me into such an environment. As long as I change the circumstances, such as being in your position, I won't be in this pain. …… Juemin, I really envy you! I often think, and I even pray, that as long as I can be in an environment like yours, and I can talk to her as you like, I would be willing to shorten my life by ten years. …… I get sick all the time, sometimes just because of her. I still miss her during my illness, and I miss her even more. I prayed every day that she would come to my hospital room to see me once, and I whispered her name in the hope that she would hear it one day. …… I heard footsteps and I thought she was coming. But I remember her footsteps very well. Her footsteps have been on my heart all day long. But she never came to see me once. …… I remember when you came to see me, I saw you as if I had seen her, for you were always with her. Hearing her name from your conversations once in a while makes my heart beat so hard! I feel like I'm getting better right away. But you are soon gone, and you do not know when you will come again. I thought of my loneliness and calmness after you were gone, and I felt as if I was about to die. You don't know how I look at you, and I don't know how I say thank you. I would also like to ask you to convey a few words of greeting to her, or to ask you how she is doing. But I was afraid that you would guess my psychology, laugh at me, blame me, and I would not dare to say a word. …… And the second time you came to see me, I saw the Dawn Weekly in Juehui's hand, and I saw that the title of her article was signed by the same name. I wanted to ask Jue Hui for the newspaper and read it, but I didn't know why, so I didn't dare to speak. I am afraid that as soon as I open my mouth, you will know my secrets, and you will reproach me and ignore me. Although I realized in hindsight how ridiculous my missteps were, it was at the time. …… I don't know how many times I read that topic alone after you left. He pinched his hands together and wrenched them a few times. Juemin coughed suddenly.

"I'm almost done talking," Jian Yun let go of his hand and continued. "I shouldn't waste your time with my trivial things. But I don't even have anyone to listen to me but you. …… I think you must love her, and naturally you will not be jealous of me. Who would be jealous of someone like me? I envy you so much! I want you to marry her happily. …… In the unlikely event that I do not live to that day, will you promise to come to the graveyard with you both to see me in the future? I didn't know how to thank you in the grave! Will you promise me? He looked at Juemin's face with a pleading eye.

Juemin couldn't stand such a look, so he avoided it. When he spoke, he often changed his facial expression, but he always kept his mouth shut and didn't speak. In the end, he could not bear it any longer, and he was overwhelmed by feelings of sympathy and pity. He forgot to say in his own mournful voice, "I promise you, I promise you." He couldn't say anything else.

"I don't know how to thank you!" Tears of gratitude flowed down Kenyun's thin cheeks, a glimmer of joy swept across his modest and melancholy face. Although it was a gentle promise, it was a great comfort in his small existence.

At this time, in the vast world, there is a lot of light, a lot of happiness, and a lot of love. However, for this modest man, who has been deprived of everything but his uncle's scattered home, there is only this gentle promise.