Volume 5 Absurd Southern Han Seventy-two, the cruelty of the butcher is laughed at
Zhou Xuan broke a bamboo branch, and the cat searched carefully, he didn't believe that there would be no crickets here!
Slowly turn to a waste garden at the back, where there are hazel trees, weeds, under the moonlight, the shadow is messy, there is a pile of rocks on the west side, this is simply a natural paradise for crickets, Zhou Xuan carefully identified, and finally found an insect**, so he used a small shovel to clean up the gravel and weeds around the hole**, holding the net cover in one hand, and was about to use the shovel to lift the insect ** under the force-
Suddenly, only a "sizzle" was heard, and a yellow-brown snake jumped out from the gap in the stone next to it, arched its snake body, and pounced towards Zhou Xuan with its head erected.
Zhou Xuan is not a timid person, but when he suddenly saw this snake more than two feet long, with an inch of yellow and an inch black on the snake body, he was still taken aback, and his heart was beating wildly, but fortunately, he reacted quickly enough, and retreated, with a net cover in his hand, just holding the snake's head, and the shovel held in the other hand chopped down with the sound of the wind, cutting the snake body into two sections, the snake body that was broken into two pieces was still rolling and twisting, the snake's head was raised, the fangs were bared, and the snake's eyes were sluggish and hideous.
Zhou Xuan took a few steps back, breathed a sigh of relief, and his heart was pounding for a while, but at this moment, he suddenly felt a slight pain in his left calf, and when he hurriedly retracted his leg, he saw a black and white snake with stripes quickly winding and escaping from his feet, trying to get into the pile of rocks.
Zhou Xuan was shocked and angry, he didn't expect that there were two snakes, the yellow and black snake still "sizzled" a little sound, and the black and white snake bit him quietly!
"Die!"
The shovel in Zhou Xuan's hand flew out and was inserted in front of the snake. As soon as the snake's head got into the hole**, the snake's body was cut off by a shovel, and the snake's tail twisted wildly.
Zhou Xuan opened his trousers and looked at the bite marks of the snake teeth on the left calf, but he didn't see blood, but there was obvious numbness.
"Damn. This snake is venomous! Zhou Xuan panicked. yelling: "Fourth-fourth-"
"Did the master catch a good bug?" The four idiots responded from afar.
Zhou Xuan shouted: "Unlucky, I let the snake bite, it seems to be poisonous, you can help me take a look." ”
The four idiots came very quickly. As soon as Zhou Xuan finished speaking, she arrived, her eyes swept the yellow and black snake on the ground that was broken in two, and she frowned: "This is the golden armor, poisonous!" ”
Zhou Xuan pointed to the pile of rocks and said, "It's not this one, it's that one that bit me." ”
The four idiots leaned over to take a look and exclaimed: "This is an inch white snake, even more poisonous!" ”
"Ahh Zhou Xuan said with a sad face: "I'm miserable!" Fourth, will you be lucky and poisonous? Help me. ”
The four idiots said: "If I am poisoned myself, I can use my skills to force the poison." It's like the last time the third brother let Peng Zumen slap him so badly that he wanted to force the poison, but the master-"
Zhou Xuan exclaimed: "Then wouldn't I be dead!" "When I said this, I felt a little short of breath, and the snake venom was done!
The four idiots did not panic, took out the two small porcelain bottles in the bag, looked at them in the moonlight, stuffed one of them back into the bag, poured out three broad bean-sized pills from the porcelain bottle in his hand, and held them in his palm and stretched them out in front of Zhou Xuan: "Master." This is snake medicine. Chew and swallow. ”
Zhou Xuan grabbed the hands of the four idiots, leaned over and put the two pills into his mouth in the palms of the four idiots.
The four idiots reminded: "Don't swallow it all at once. Chew a few more times - where did this inch of white snake bite its owner? ”
Zhou Xuan chewed the extremely bitter pill and said vaguely: "Calf." ”
The four idiots squatted down and knelt on one leg to look at the wound on Zhou Xuan's leg, and said "ouch": "The wound is not bleeding!" Helped Zhou Xuan to the side and sat down, stretched out his hand and pinched Zhou Xuan's calf that was bitten by a snake, trying to squeeze out the blood, pinching Zhou Xuan's teeth and grinning, only to see a little blood.
After Zhou Xuan chewed the pill and swallowed it, he thought: "Will the fourth child suck snake venom for me with his mouth, this and this, although I am a little wronged by the fourth child, I am still looking forward to it." ”
But he heard the four idiots say: "The master himself sucks a few times with his mouth, it's on the stomach of the leg, you can suck it yourself." ”
Zhou Xuan let out an "oh", rested his left leg on his right knee, leaned over and sucked violently, sucking a mouthful of saliva-
The four idiots were very experienced, looked at the wound and said, "It's okay." He took out the previous broad bean pill, chewed it in his mouth and applied it to Zhou Xuan's wound, cut off a strip of cloth with a knife and tied it to Zhou Xuan's leg, and said, "It's okay, sit and rest for half an hour." ”
Zhou Xuan said: "Fourth, you saved my life again, when did you have snake medicine?" It's like a god, knowing that I'm going to be bitten by a snake! ”
The four idiots were slightly satisfied, and said: "This snake medicine was made by me personally at the small pharmacy in Luoyang at noon, and I always have to be on guard against crickets at night." ”
Zhou Xuan knew that this snake medicine was prepared for him by the four idiots, and with the skills of the four idiots, how could a snake bite her, he was quite moved, and said: "The fourth child is also very careful, thank you." ”
The four idiots asked: "Why did the master stab the snake**?" ”
As soon as he heard this, Zhou Xuan became energetic, pointed to the pile of stones and said: "Fourth, there is a worm **, I expect that there will be a good insect, the cricket spectrum records where all famous insects hide, or poisonous snakes and centipedes live together, this worm** is guarded by two poisonous snakes, and it must be an extraordinary product." ”
"Really?" The four idiots were also in good spirits, so Zhou Xuan sat down, she went to inspect the worm**, and beat it with a shovel, but no crickets jumped out.
Zhou Xuan said: "Irrigate it with water, all fierce insects are extremely alert and patient, if you can't beat it, you will attack it with water, crickets like drought and fear of water, once the water is irrigated, it can't stand it." ”
The four idiots responded, and then used a bamboo tube to fetch water nearby, and slowly poured in the worm**, and their eyes stared at the ** mouth for a moment.
After a while, there was no movement, and the four idiots straightened up and turned their heads to look at Zhou Xuandao: "It's strange, aren't the crickets at home?" ”
Zhou Xuan smiled: "Don't make a sound, stare at it for a while, this cricket is too patient." ”
The four idiots nodded, hunched over and continued to stare at the worm**, she was born an assassin, and she really had to be patient for a day and a night.
Zhou Xuan felt sick and short of breath at first, but after taking snake medicine and removing the venom from the wound, he felt much more comfortable. Just sat there and watched the four idiots catch insects, for fear of alarming the crickets, neither of them spoke, and there was silence all around.
At least half of the incense time has passed since the four idiots poured water, and Zhou Xuan saw the four idiots shake their shoulders and wave out the mesh cover in his left hand. It seems to cover something. Hurriedly asked: "Caught?" ”
"Caught." The four idiots threw away the shovel and walked over with a net cover, and their tone was not very joyful.
Zhou Xuan took a closer look, and a small gray-white ground cricket in the net pocket was rushing left and right.
Blue, yellow, red, black, white. The white-backed cricket is disdainful of the country children, and it has no combat effectiveness at all, and the white-backed cricket in the net is still very small, although last year's "can't touch" is a black-backed cricket, but the size is not smaller than the green-backed insect, and the cricket is also better than the block, and the big one is always stronger than the small one.
Zhou Xuan frowned and said, "No, two poisonous snakes are guarding such a white-backed cricket!" ”
The four idiots said: "Maybe it's just that the holes are just together." ”
Zhou Xuan said: "It's too dark now. I can't see clearly, and the crickets can't see the fire. I'll take a closer look at it at dawn, and I don't believe I was bitten by a snake to catch such a waste worm! ”
The four idiots shook their heads, put the white-backed crickets in the net pocket in a bamboo tube, sifted them with a breathable sieve, and handed them to Zhou Xuandao: "Master, I'll look for it again, so I have to catch the yellow-backed worm, so that I can barely fight with the green robe and ugliness of the snow pig prince." ”
After the four idiots left. Zhou Xuan listened carefully to the movement of the white-backed cricket in the bamboo tube. I didn't hear a sound, and I didn't chirp. This is obviously a male cricket, and it's not a three-tailed female, so why doesn't it chirp?
Zhou Xuan recalled the "Secret Spectrum of the King of Insects" he had read, and the places recorded in that book were all rare insect kings and mutated fierce insects, generally speaking, crickets were cyan-colored, yellow, red, black, and white in turn, but if it was a mutated strange insect, it would have to be reversed, the white mutant insect was the most powerful, and it had the strength of the general and even the king of insects, and the "untouchable" was the mutated black-backed insect, which was equivalent to the strength of the lieutenant general, and the cricket in the bamboo tube was white, could it be the top mutant cricket?
But such a small size makes Zhou Xuan dare not have such a fluke, no matter whether it is mutated or not, but the four words tall, square, wide, and thick are always wanted, and the difference in size is so great that it is completely impossible to fight, and the white-backed cricket in the bamboo tube is too small, only two-thirds the size of the average cricket, which really makes Zhou Xuan dare not have expectations.
Zhou Xuan sat for a while, touched his left calf, the numbness had disappeared, and he didn't feel annoyed anymore, so he got up to find the four idiots, holding the bamboo tube in his hand.
Behind a clump of bamboo forests, Zhou Xuan saw the four idiots squatting there motionless, heard footsteps, turned around and made a gesture of silence.
Zhou Xuan walked over and squatted with the four idiots, he didn't think it himself, in fact, the two of them looked ridiculous squatting side by side like that.
Zhou Xuan asked in a low voice: "What's the gain?" ”
The four idiots said: "I caught a red-backed cricket, almost a captain, I just used the master's method of attracting insects, so that this red-backed cricket chirped, and when I walked here, I heard three short and powerful insect chirps, I dare not say that it is a green-backed insect, and the yellow-backed is indispensable." ”
Zhou Xuan said: "It's good to have a yellow back." ”
The four idiots said: "The exact location has not been determined, wait a while and listen to the sound of insects." ”
The two of them waited in a squatting position like that, and waited for at least half an hour, and they didn't hear half of the insects.
The four idiots used the grass stem to tease the red-backed cricket that they had caught on the ground, but no matter how they trimmed, the red-backed cricket did not say a word as if it had been cut off.
The four idiots wondered: "This is weird, why doesn't this worm scream!" ”
Zhou Xuan knew that the four idiots were still above him, but he couldn't make the red-backed cricket make a sound, which was indeed a bit weird, and he tried to tease a few times, but the red-backed cricket just shook his head and still didn't make a sound.
The four idiots said: "It's evil, I don't believe that I can't catch that yellow-backed cricket!" The cat searched the twenty-zhang radius inch by inch, but after looking for more than an hour, there were no insects**, and no insects were heard.
The moon is already slanting in the west, the sky is almost dawn, and the two of them only caught a white-backed waste insect and a red-backed weak worm, how can the snow pig prince not raise insects, no matter how Zhou Xuan is insect-skilled, this red-backed cricket can't beat the green-backed insect "Qingpao Wen Chou" no matter how much stimulant he eats, how can the captain fight with the major general?
The four idiots were quite frustrated and asked Zhou Xuan: "Master, what can I do about this?" Tonight, we must come out of the worm and fight the snow boar prince before midnight, otherwise we will lose. ”
Zhou Xuan shook his head and smiled: "I have prepared a strategy-"
"What's the solution?"
"Foolishness."
"Foolish?" The four idiots rolled their eyes and asked, "How can you play tricks, Snow Pig Prince Kenyi?" ”
Zhou Xuan said: "Dress up this red-backed cricket as a green-backed cricket, and then say that this cricket's level is higher than that of the green robe and the ugliness, then Fei Qing doesn't understand crickets, and he must believe it to be true, and he will find a way to let go or kill our cricket, and then we will catch it, and use this to block the mouth of the snow pig prince, delay the time of fighting insects, and fight after I catch Chen Si'an." ”
The four idiots pursed their lips and smiled, and said, "The master really thinks about defeat before he wins, and he is really invincible." ”
Zhou Xuan picked a blade of grass, squeezed out the juice, painted and painted the red-backed cricket, and finally painted it with a purple appearance, and said with a smile: "It's okay now, I have jumped from a captain to a major general." ”
The four idiots didn't know what the captain and the major general really meant, but she knew that this was Zhou Xuan's method of grading the crickets, and the captain was five levels lower than the major general, and laughed softly: "Self-deception!" ”
Zhou Xuan smiled: "Wait a minute, cooperate with me to act for Fei Qing." ”
The four idiots said "um", lowered their heads and smiled, and said: "No matter how severe and urgent the matter is, the master can easily resolve it, just like the national teachers of the Eight Kingdoms of Zhongtian died in a pit, and it is not okay to refuse to accept it." ”
Zhou Xuan said: "I'm called the murderer of the butcher at dawn, Zhou Xuan carried the bamboo tube with a white-backed cricket and rushed out of the village, and said loudly: "Last night was really thrilling, two poisonous snakes attacked me, a golden armor, an inch white snake, if it weren't for the fourth child with snake medicine, I would have whined!" ”
Lihu and the others were shocked and hurriedly asked?
Zhou Xuan lifted his trousers to let them see the injury, and then excitedly pointed to the bamboo tube in the hands of the four idiots and said: "All fierce insects are protected by poisonous snakes and centipedes, and they are not easy for people to catch. ”
When everyone heard that this insect was caught by Zhou Jungong at the risk of his life, they all gasped, this insect must be extraordinary, and they all came together to see it.
The four idiots held up the bamboo tube for them to see, and said, "You must speak softly, don't startle this fierce insect." ”
Zhou Xuan added fuel and vinegar and said: "You see, this insect has a pair of big teeth and Huo Huo grinding, like it is not like the Qinglong Yanyue Knife of Guan Yu of the Three Kingdoms, that is, the cold saw?" It's okay to be ugly among the armies, haha, although I was bitten by a snake, it was worth it to win the gamble with Shopkeeper Liu. ”
Everyone was bewitched by Zhou Xuan, and they all nodded again and again, and the more they looked at this insect, the more extraordinary they became, and they were amazed.
That Fei Qing's eyes were rolling and he began to have a bad idea.