"Trigger, come back!"

I called back the 'trigger' that I was going to go back with the patrolmen, he was specially asked for by the Sky Wolf Special Operations Brigade guard detachment before I came to the mountain, it was the 'Dream Stolen' child, and the name 'Trigger' was named after the dog in one of my favorite American dramas, "Band of Brothers".

After seeing the patrol disappear from sight, I went back to the yard and began to mechanically chop the cabbage and prepare lunch for the next team to arrive here.

After that mission, I lost Lin Jie, Wu Ying's squad leader and the amputated Batur squad leader, I was disheartened, lost hope in everything, I was in a trance all day long, I couldn't keep up with the training rhythm of the special operations team, and even kept falling and fighting during running, every day no matter training, living or sleeping, I could see their figures, and I once felt that I was schizophrenic.

After more than half a month, I submitted an application for discharge from the army to the brigade!

The captain, the political commissar, and even the family kept doing work for me, but I still couldn't forget them, and I felt that with my current mental state, even if I continued to stay here, I was adding a burden to the team, and finally Grandpa Wen called me personally.

Although I didn't dare to go against his old man's wishes, I did feel that if I went on like this, the brigade would eliminate me sooner or later, Grandpa Wen understood what I meant, and didn't say anything, and I received an order the next day!

The Fourth Frontier Company, the No. 44 site, is the place where there is no hair and wears an old-fashioned military coat every day Zhao squad leader, after he recovered and went home, this place has changed a few people for half a year, and no one can hold on, I applied directly after returning to the company, and arranged everything here overnight.

It's been almost a year, I live like a machine every day, no training, no need for work and rest time, my comrades-in-arms boil water for them when they come, and symbolically salute when they leave, without a trace of emotion, and I haven't said a word to anyone.

It's just that I often can't sleep, and I will hold the 'trigger' at night to watch the stars with me, and the funny thing is that during this time, I will often go into a state of daze, and the feeling that I have forgotten for a few years is back.

Fortunately, I'd rather see a blank space and a dark spot than see them in front of me.

"Oh! Fuck！ ”

When I walked for a while, I let the kitchen knife cut my fingers, I sucked the bleeding and walked to the house, and began to look up the toilet paper, but at this time I heard a voice outside the door that seemed familiar to me:

"Wow, your small place is really good, it's just a little off, if there is such a small courtyard in the mainland unit, I will definitely wear a military uniform for the rest of my life!"

Then I saw a fox wolf in a straight uniform with some dirt on his legs and feet standing at the door, looking inside.

I walked to the yard with my fingers covered, looked at him and said strangely, "Huh? Why did you come here, it shouldn't be a passing by, right? ”

With his trademark smile, the fox wolf walked to the courtyard and sat down on a small bench and said, "Of course not, I must have come for you!" ”

I laughed dryly, sat down in the chopping position, picked up the kitchen knife and began to numb again, ignoring him!

He didn't get angry, he took off his hat, looked up left and right, and said to me, "You really plan to stay here for the rest of your life!" ”

I smiled dryly and replied, "For a lifetime? Hehe, if the discharge application was approved, I would have gone home long ago, but it was just a time grind here, and I would be discharged from the army next year! ”

The fox wolf laughed again, threw a band-aid and said, "Quickly put it on, the blood is dripping on the dishes, are you really not interested in why I came up?" ”

Put a band-aid on it, but I still didn't want to pay attention to him, I just wanted to send him away, and I said impatiently: "Interested? Does it have anything to do with me, I'm a bastard waiting to die, I'm not qualified to talk about those things! ”

The fox wolf nodded, smiled and said, "It's a pity, if Lin Jie is here, he must be very interested!" ”

Hearing him say Lin Jie, I was suddenly stunned on the spot, I hadn't heard this name from someone else's mouth for a long time, but I still didn't want to pay attention to him, so I had to tell him: "Then you go to him, and bring me a good one by the way!" ”

The fox wolf sneered and said, "Okay? Hello or him! Why don't you tell his parents about this, I heard that his mother cried and fainted four times at his memorial service, and you are going to tell them that he is fine, that you are good, that you killed him because of your incompetence, and now you are hiding here and saying that you are good for him, and you are worthy of saying this! ”

I was angry, really angry, I dropped the kitchen knife in my hand and shouted to him: "Enough, you go, I don't want to see you, and I don't want to talk about the days of killing or being killed before!" ”

The fox wolf stood up and suddenly kicked at my stomach, glared at me and said, "Go!" If I'm gone, will you be able to hold this frontier? This is my motherland, I am a soldier, and it is my mission to protect her from violation! And what about you, what's the point of staying here? Imagine what ifs every day? Immersed in regret every day? Do you think about the expressions of your comrades who died in front of your eyes every day? ”

I was unresponsive to this sudden kick, but I still said to him, "You are not allowed to mention them!" ”

Then I started to fight back.

But I was no match for him at all, and before I could get close, I was hit in the stomach again by my knee, and I heard him shout to me: "They are all dead, you should understand this the moment you come to the unit, the difference is that it is they and not you who are lying in the coffin, that's all!" You immerse yourself in this numb day every day to let yourself forget everything, that's because you're afraid, you're afraid to recall their expressions when they were dying, because you're sorry for them, they used their souls to exchange back for your corpse, do you feel that they are worth dying! ”

After hearing this, I couldn't stand up, I lay on the ground and cried, the emotions that I had been holding back for a long time poured out, my hands began to beat the ground non-stop, and my mouth said: "I don't want to do this, I really don't want to do this, I'd rather die at the time, if I carefully arrange the plan, Batur squad leader will not lose an arm, if I don't carelessly think that it's safe, Wu Ying squad leader won't die, if I react one second faster I can definitely kick away the grenade, but ......"

After speaking, I was already choked up and couldn't make a sound.

The fox wolf came over, helped me against the wall, and whispered to me, "If these two words have a price; And the word regret is a very luxurious word for a soldier; But these are the things that you have to face as a soldier! Take 10,000 steps back, even if you returned home last year, what can you do, with your current state and go out with your girlfriend, you may not be able to protect her if you meet a gangster, this kind of if it will happen to her as well, and then you will face regret again. Is that a repetition of the current scene, what else can you do but cry on the ground? ”

Thinking of Xiao Nan, I felt that I had failed her encouragement and encouragement to me again and again, and I had considered all kinds of her futures, but I never thought that I would lose her, I didn't dare to continue to think about it, buried my head deep in my legs, and cried and said: "I don't know if I can stand up, Wu Ying's squad leader and Lin Jie didn't even say some parting words like on TV when they left, and suddenly there was no more." I kept struggling to find some hope for myself, but nothing came of it! I am not afraid of death, I can even die for them and for them, but I can't do anything but atone for my sins with self-blame every day! I thought I was smart enough, hard enough, good enough, and had something to protect myself, but the reality always broke my belief again and again! ”

When the fox wolf heard this, he knew that his words had already worked, and then changed to the same smiling expression as before, and said, "But you are still alive, you still have a future, and you still have hope!" If you plan carefully before the next mission, if you pay attention to every little detail in everything, if your body is strong enough to take down Lu Bu with one punch, will the result be different! Instead of regretting the mistakes you made in the past, what you should do now is indeed to cherish everything you have now, work hard to do everything you can, don't lose everything again, fulfill your promises, and change everything you don't like!"

Hearing this, my feelings that had been gradually forgotten seemed to return, and I asked uncontrollably, "I, do I still have a chance?" ”

The fox wolf pulled me up and said with a smile, "Look, it's back to the original question, why am I here!" ”

I went back to the house and poured him a glass of boiling water, rubbed his stomach before it hurt, pouted and asked, "Why?" You're not going to let me go back and learn how to kill again! ”

The fox wolf laughed after hearing this, and said nonchalantly: "The praying mantis has been sacrificed, and the tasks I perform are often S-level in the words of the game, so there must be a partner, and the team has assigned me a senior deputy, but I refused, because I was afraid that he would sacrifice, so I came to you!"

After hearing this, I laughed dryly and said, "Heh, the reason is really good, you are not afraid of my death!" ”

The fox wolf laughed and said, "I'm afraid, I'm definitely afraid!" You're going to die, I'm going to die, we're all going to die, but definitely not now! Because we have lost so much, we have to make ourselves stronger, so that we can protect more people, so that the feeling of if, regret will not happen to us again, and both of us should be people who don't like that feeling! Remember, we don't learn how to kill, we only learn how to protect the people who are important to us! ”

I shook my head and laughed dryly, and suddenly saw his epaulettes and said, "I didn't pay attention just now, you are all majors!" ”

The fox wolf tilted his head and also glanced at his shoulder and said to me: "That is, buddy won the international scout competition individual championship at the age of eighteen, went to West Point Military Academy for exchange and study for two years in the same year, and at the age of twenty-two, he has already taught himself to obtain a master's degree in radio, amazing!" ”

I listened to his impressive achievements, and once again felt that it is a truth that people are more popular than people, and I thought about it seriously and said to him: "I plan to go to military school next year, is it okay?" ”

"No problem!"

The fox wolf agreed very simply, and then got up and walked out, and at the same time did not forget to say to me: "By the way, although I am inviting you, but the tiger brigade is not as good as your wolf team, we have to select, of course, if you want to be in the same level of the unit, we call it diggers, but now you can only re-select, as for whether you can pass, it's up to you, I'm leaving!" After saying that, the person disappeared!

"I didn't plan to send you!" Rolling his eyes at him, he began to cut the cabbage again, but now I believe that he will definitely not be able to cut it!

After bringing the words to the company, everyone seemed to be glad for my return, for I saw that they had entered the courtyard not in such a lifeless and reserved way, but as I had done before, and began to lie down on the ground, and from time to time shouted at me:

"Squad leader, remember to boil water for us!"

I would never have said this to me before, but now I am very happy to hear it.

A week later, the handovers were completed, and I returned to the familiar Fourth Frontier Company, which was still the same courtyard, but the facilities inside were all new.

After eating breakfast in Lianli, I have already seen that my comrades-in-arms have already set up backpack equipment for me early, although most of them are relatively unfamiliar to me, but I still see the intimacy in their eyes!

On the playground, the warm sunlight reflected everything in front of me, and at this moment I suddenly felt that this place was not only black and white as the class leader said.

Because the camouflage uniform on our body is the most dazzling color on this side of the defense line.

Everyone stood up in a neat line to see me off, and the young company commander in front of me said to me, "Do you want to say a few words to my brothers?" ”

I scratched the back of my head twice embarrassedly and said with a smile: "The real familiarity with everyone is actually in the past few days, it was my fault before, thank you for your tolerance!" ”

After saying that, I bowed to them and continued: "I used to lose a lot of things because of ignorance, and now I'm going to look for them!" So I want everyone to take me as a warning, don't be as naïve as me, and only remember to cherish something when you lose it; As for the words of encouragement to everyone, I would like to quote Sakuragi Hanamichi again: When was the most glorious moment of your life, yes, now! ”

"Salute!"

The company commander gave an order, and the queue marched in a neat military salute.

After returning the gift, in order not to let everyone see the tears I hid in my eyes, I got into the car without looking back, and at the moment when the car drove out of the gate, I saw the words that will forever be engraved in my heart through the rearview mirror for the last time:

Work hard and fight for the country!

--Finish--

I would like to dedicate this book to the heroes who have been dedicated to the border defense of the motherland and the front line of maintaining stability!